by Free Britney at

Apparently, she doesn't own one. First, little Sean Preston Federline was named the World's Worst Dressed Man by Esquire. Now, mother Britney Spears is frequently seen in public looking like she was dressed by a deaf, dumb and blind person. Or like she is a deaf, dumb and blind person. Forget it, that makes no sense.

This picture from People magazine really speaks for itself. Poor Sean P. has no idea how ridiculous he and his mother look. While T.H. Gossip would never go so far as to call Britney Spears ugly (as some hack rappers have), she certainly could use a fashion consultant at times. Otherwise, more and more people are going to be sticking their tongues out at her.

Britney's Body

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by Free Britney at

As we've said before, just when you think the life of Britney Spears can't get any weirder, the bar is once again raised. Or, as is more frequently the case these days, lowered.

The September issue of Esquire has named little Sean Preston Federline the "Worst Dressed Man in the World" on its annual Best and Worst Dressed Men lists. Personally, we feel this less an indictment of Sean P. and more of a slap at his mother. She's the one in charge of outfitting the little pip squeak!

Sean Preston Federline Finds a Bargain

And to think she wants to start her own clothing line. For kids. God help us all. Regarding Britney's less than stellar wardrobe choices for her son, who turns 1 next month, the magazine says the following:

"Being the offspring of a hyper fertile backup dancer and prematurely wilted flower is no excuse, but being 12 months almost is... As soon as you gain some dexterity, straighten out your hat."

Hyper fertile backup dancer? Prematurely wilted flower? We can't even try to complete with that at this time. It is Friday afternoon, after all.

But seriously, Sean. Straighten out the hat, will ya?

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by Free Britney at

Much as you would love to imagine the words "Britney," "Spears," and "experimentation" coming together in magical ways, don't get your hopes up.

Britney, Sean

Mother extraordinaire Britney Spears says she loves experimenting -- but she means playing the role of personal style coordinator for 10-month-old son Sean Preston. The pregnant pop princess loves picking out a wide and interesting variety of clothes for Sean P. So much so that she is planning on launching a new clothing line specifically for babies.

The star says she is putting her downtime during pregnancy to good use (when she's not writing poetry, of course), and has been amusing herself endlessly with Sean Preston's wardrobe.

"Because I'm pregnant, I'm big, and I don't really want to get out that much," she said. "I go into his closet and just bleach everything! Preston's just like a rocker kid. Hopefully next year we'll have a fashion show, maybe at Disney World or something like that We'll have them onstage, and they'll have mini-guitars. Everyone needs a mini-guitar!"

Somebody please kill me now, or take me back to the days of yore.

One would think that Britney could use some of that downtime to outfit husband Kevin Federline in some new clothes as well, but who knows. Maybe she digs the circa-1992-wigger look. As for her experimenting with Sean Preston's attire, we think she has some work to do. Please see:

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