by Free Britney at

Welcome, readers, to another edition of THG's Caption Contest!

We just came across this cute photo of Kourtney Kardashian, Scott Disick and their two kids, and it's just begging for your hilarious captions.

What are Kourt, Scott, Mason and/or Penelope thinking/saying?

You tell us! Just leave comment(s) below with the best caption(s) for the photo! Go to it! We will announce a winner Tuesday. Best of luck!

UPDATE, 9/4: Shannon Valk is our winner! Congrats! The winning entry appears below. Honorable mentions: kim trashdasian, GhostWriter743 and Mmonna.

Thanks so much to all for playing!

Disick Family

Penelope: "Let me get this straight. Mommy and Daddy sleep in separate beds and we have four aunts that look exactly alike?"

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by Hilton Hater at

Not even we can make fun of the Kardashians for this one:

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick are the new parents of a baby girl, E! News confirms, as the former gave birth to Penelope Scotland Disick early this morning at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

She weighed in at seven pounds, 14 ounces.

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick Pic

"Scott and I are overjoyed to welcome our precious angel Penelope Scotland Disick into our lives. We are forever blessed. Mommy and baby are resting comfortably," Kourtney said in a statement, while Kris Jenner has also already chimed in and said it was an "easy delivery."

Kardashian and Disick announced they were expecting in November. They are already parents to Mason Dash, 2, and don't really have plans to marry any time soon.

We send our congratulations to the couple and look forward to seeing Penelope on the cover of whatever tabloid pays Kourtney and Scott the most money.

UPDATE: Kim Kardashian has chimed in with a statement:

Welcome to the world, Penelope Scotland Disick! Kourtney gave birth to a beautiful baby daughter on Sunday and the whole family is so thrilled to finally meet her! She is absolutely perfect! I am so excited to be an aunt again and can't wait to spoil little Penelope. I know Mason is going to be the best big brother in the whole world. Congratulations Kourtney and Scott. Xo

[Photo: WENN.com]

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by Hilton Hater at

Kourtney Kardashian has a message for her fans: OMG.

That's right: Oh... My... GIRL!

The reality star sold the announcement of her baby's gender to OK! this week, revealing to the tabloid that she's having a girl in just a few months.

A Girl for Kourtney Kardashian

We're "so, so excited," Kourtney says, while boyfriend Scott Disick - who apparently has NOT abandoned his baby mama - adds:

"I even wanted a girl the first time - and then we had Mason and it couldn't have been any better... We're very fortunate to have the combination that everyone wishes for."

Does the couple have a name selected?

"We actually have one name that we both love, but I'm not sure," Kardashian said. "I feel like you don't really know until after you meet the baby."

In other words: we'll tell you when a tabloid shells out big bucks for the answer.

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by Hilton Hater at

Kim Kardashian may be destined to never procreate, but she's about to become an aunt for the second time.

Kourtney Kardashian announced today - via a statement to E! News and an Us Weekly cover story, of course: cha-ching! - that she and Scott Disick will soon be parents again.

"Scott and I are so excited to announce that we are expecting our second child and are thrilled to be expanding the love in our family," she said, adding that she's nine weeks along and, yes, one is supposed to wait until one is 12 weeks along to tell the public, but: "I'm confident."

Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant Cover

And here's an incredible coincidence: the pregnancy takes place just as the oldest Kardashian sibling is kicking off an E! Online-sponsored Web series titled Kourtney's Mommy Blog. Look for her to share stories on there about Mason, while offering parenting and fashion advice to other mothers, who apparently have absolutely nowhere else to go.

Welcome to the Kardashian world, unborn baby. Your mom is already making money off of you.

[Photo: WENN.com]

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by Hilton Hater at

It's a question all fathers have asked themselves: How much should I charge a network for featuring my son on a reality TV show?

For Scott Disick, that answer is reportedly $5,000. For producers of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, which debuts January 23 on E!, their response is: HA!

Scott and Mason

$mile, $on!

Sources close to the show say E! offered $1,000/episode in exchange for Mason to appear on the upcoming spin-off, but Disick "played hardball" and "bungled negotiations, so you won't see Mason at all."

Scott's greed, of course, will likely benefit to Mason in the long run.

But, don't worry folks, there are still more Kardashian-related programs on the way. Khloe and Lamar Odom have signed on for a new reality show. Thank goodness.

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by Hilton Hater at

Mason Dash Disick turns one year old today, and his family is celebrating in the only way it knows how: by blogging about the occasion.

Writes Kim Kardashian: It seems like just yesterday we were all at the hospital with Kourtney for his birth, and now he’s walking around all on his own and I can barely lift him, lol!

Writes Khloe Kardashian: HAPPY birthday to my beautiful baby nephew, MASON!!!!!!!! OMG I can't believe it's been a year since this perfect little person came into our lives.

Mason Dash Disick

We feel your pain, Mase.

Writes Kourtney Kardashian: Happy very first birthday to my little angel Mason! You complete and fulfill my life. This year with you has been more than I could have ever imagined.

Writes Kate Gosselin: My goodness, even I don't exploit my children to such an extent!

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by Hilton Hater at

Look, Kardashian family: we understand you'll do and say anything for attention. We comprehend the concept of a publicist and of concocting your own feuds and rumors in order to remain relevant.

But can you please leave innocent children out of your self-serving games?!?

Kardashian Klothing Line

Yesterday, over the course of several painful hours, Kim Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick engaged in a pointless, fake public feud that centered around Kourtney and Scott's son, Mason Dash. It started when Kim posted the following photo of her nephew and Tweeted:

Please nobody tell Kourtney I just twittered a pic of Mase, she just might kill me! I just couldn't resist!

On cue, Disick called his quasi sister-in-law out, writing about his baby mama: "She's not going to be pleased."

From there, Kourtney chimed in, clearly being nothing but pleased: "Everyone told on u kim for showing a pic of Mason! At least u r an incredible auntie," she wrote.

Yes, how dare everyone tell on Kim... for posting a photo that went out to her giant base of Twitter followers, including Scott and Kourtney?!?

Let's hope that Mason skips right past crawling and walking and just learns how to sprint. The kid has to make a run for it before it's too late.

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by Hilton Hater at

This is a proud time for Kourtney Kardashian.

The new mother has chosen the publication that will pay her lots of money for is showing the world her newborn son.

Inside the latest issue of Life & Style, the eldest Kardashian sister describes what it's like to be a mother:

"I feel so lucky. He's such a good baby."

Hmmm... would she feel less lucky if he cried a lot?

Baby Cover

As for that controversial middle name, Kourtney says:

"Dash is not for my clothing store, as some people have suggested online. That would be stupid. Dash is short for Kardashian, and it was my father's nickname."

Recent reports suggested that Kourt flipped out at Reggie Bush because he considered proposing to Kim Kardashian around Christmas. Such family news would have overshadowed this cover story.

Meanwhile Scott Disick is not included on the cover shot, he does pose inside the magazine with his son and occasional girlfriend. He even looks sort of happy to be there:

Keep those eyes closed, Mason. We wouldn't wanna look if our parents were Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick, either.

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by Hilton Hater at

Pray with us, THG readers.

Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to a boy this morning, prompting a nationwide need to stop, bow our heads and ask the Man Upstairs to look after this addition to the Kardashian clan. He'll need all the help he can get.

Levi McConaughey

Indeed, Kourtney and shady boyfriend Scott Disick are now the proud new parents of Mason Dash Disick - seriously, his middle name is the same as the family boutique - who arrived in Los Angeles weighin seven pounds and six ounces.

Confirmed Kourt's publicist, at approximately 12:30 p.m. EST:

"Kourtney just delivered a healthy baby boy about an hour ago."

Earlier this week, sisters Khloe and Kim Kardashian said Kourtney thought her water broke because she felt some cold liquid on her leg.

Despite that faux pas, Kim believes her sibling will be a great mother.

"Kourtney didn't even like kids," Kim said recently. "I never thought she'd ever want to have a baby. [But now] I think Kourt's going to be the most amazing mom."

She'll certainly be the most amazing at pimping her child out on the cover of magazines. Look out, Larry Birkhead! You've got competition.

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by Hilton Hater at

Kourtney Kardashian has a new reality show coming out.

She also has a new piece of information to share with fans: the socialite is pregnant!

Kourtney did not tell E! News, who first reported this story, how far along she was; nor did she reveal the identity of the father.

But the first guess would have to be Scott Disick, Kourtney's ex-boyfriend. When asked about their status, Kardashian coyly said:

"You're going to have to see on the show," referring to Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, which debuts this Sunday.

Man. If this is all a publicity stunt for the series, well, Kourt has learned well sister Kim.

Knocked Up!

Who do you think knocked up Kourtney Kardashian? Scott Disick? Someone else? Or just her publicist, with this attention-stealing idea?

Kourtney says she was in the Everglades when she kept "feeling nauseous and sick."

"I just kept thinking something wasn't right... I went to the doctor and he confirmed the news. I was just so shocked," she added.

** UPDATE: It's been confirmed that Scott Disick is the father! Think he'l do a good job?

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