Scott Disick

Scott Disick might be a douchebag, but he isn't an idiot. We doubt the guy would ever turn down sex.

But that's what Life & Style wants us to believe, as that tabloid claims Scott and Kourtney Kardashian are trying for a second child... much to the alleged dismay of the couple's male half.

Kourtney wants a second child that's close in age to son Mason. Scott wants to bang his wife on his own darn time.

"Kourtney is figuring out the best times they need to make love to have the best chance of getting pregnant again, and it's driving Scott crazy," a family source says. "He feels humiliated. Kourtney calls him at work, and he has to drop everything so they can do it as soon as possible. He gets so embarrassed."

We're as shocked as you are, readers: Scott Disick works?!?

Big breasts are coming to The Big Apple. The sisters that never show an ounce of personality are coming to The City That Never Sleeps. The globe's most media-savvy siblings are coming to the media capital of the world.

No matter how you describe, the end result is this: Kim and Kourntey Kardashian will take their scripted act lives to New York City this winter, as E! spins the sisters off in Kim and Kourtney Take New York. Kim, Kourtney and Scott Disick touched down in NYC this week to make the announcement.

Are you ready for the Kardashians, NYC residents?

"I could not be more excited to spend the next couple of months in one of my favorite cities," Kim blogged. "When we decided to open a new DASH store in the city, Kourt and I felt that someone needed to be here to help out with the store and make sure everything was running smoothly. After talking with my family, I decided that I would join Kourtney, Scott and Mason in NYC."

Khloe will stay behind in Los Angeles to spend time with husband Lamar Odom. Will you watch this spin-off, THG readers?

"I know it's bad luck to tell your wish to everybody ... but my wish would be to get the hell away from her family in California and get back to New York where my family is."
- Scott Disick, during a poignant birthday toast to himself

This guy is such a douche.

Scott Disick wants out of L.A. and his baby mama's family's sight.

On Sunday's Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kourtney Kardashian ponders moving to NYC with the tool who fathered her 9-month-old son Mason.

"100 percent we're moving to New York!" he says at his birthday bash. Somehow we don't see it happening. Follow the jump to watch the action:

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The latest tabloid cover to feature the Kardashian sisters actually does NOT say a word about weight loss. Shocking, we know.

Instead, it laughably claims that Scott Disick will pen a tell-all memoir about the family. This is hilarious for two reasons:

1. It implies Disick can put together a coherent sentence.
2. Is there anything Kim, Kourtney and Khloe don't already share with the world?!? Come on, we know the latter had a hairy vagina until her sister intervened. Seriously, what could any tell-all possibly reveal at this point?

Kourtney Kardashian just doesn't understand why some people think her and Scott Disick are an unstable couple.

"It's ridiculous," she told People magazine over the weekend. "All the [rumors] you just have to laugh at."

Gee, we wonder where these rumors stem from. No way they can be a result of the show Kourtney stars on, which constantly hypes tension between her and Scott, right? Or her own family advising Kourtney - via a public forum - not to trust her man, right?

Kardashian adds that she and Disick have been "working on our relationship" in therapy and recommends this step to all troubled couples.

"I think [counseling] is really important and we always love going and feel so much better after," she said. "I think everyone should go. People are like, 'It's so expensive and this or that,' but that's more important than buying clothes or a handbag or shoes. It's your life." 

By the way, Kourtney wants you to buy her clothes and handbags.

Following a series of scripted drunken outbursts, Scott Disick has entered therapy.

In his attempt to overcome a battle with substance abuse, the douchebag baby daddy of little Mason Dash is now receiving support from an unlikely source: Kris Jenner.

Said Scott's most vocal critic (while, of course, doing publicity for season five of Keeping Up with the Kardashians): "I think that Scott has really come a long way. My main concern is for my daughter Kourtney and my grandson Mason, and I think Scott had some issues he was really grappling with and has come around."

Jenner even told E! News that Disick is a "really good dad." What's next, will Levi Johnston make up with Bristol Palin? (Probably.)

Chimed in Kim Kardashian, regarding her mother's new viewpoint:

"I give her a lot of credit. It must be hard to watch the show [Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami] back. They've dealt with this months ago and have had time to heal, and then you have to see it again and listen to everyone's comments over and over again."

We can at least agree with Kim on one thing: it's VERY hard to watch Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami.

Meanwhile, the new trailer for Keeping Up with the Kardashians teases a possible move to New York for Scott and Kourtney. Does this actually take place?

"I'm not sure... you know as much as I do about that right now," Kris said, causing THG to respond with:

LIAR! Episodes were filmed months ago! We're pretty sure you do know where your daughter is living these days. Man, this family sucks.

Due to writers putting it in the script his drinking and anger problem, Scott Disick is in therapy.

This supposed treatment was a major focus of last night's Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, which THG forced an intern to watch and review below. Enjoy...

Kourtney’s true other half is back in Miami this week, as Khloe Kardashiam Odom (did her ring actually get bigger?) returns to finish out the season of her show.  Along with Khloe comes a few more Kardashians/Jenners.  Mama Kris is there to look over her little cubs, for example.

Kris brings along little sisters Kendall and Kylie, who are turning into mini versions of their famous older sisters.  They run around the apartment squealing as Kris settles in to take care of business. This is the first time we’ve really seen Kourtney admit that she knows Scott is sick. We also get to see Scott in therapy, attempting to confront his issues.

Kourtney assures Kris that she is handling everything and not to worry, but of course Kris takes things into her own hands.  She visits Scott at the hotel where is he staying.  In her attempt to talk to some sense into him, she also gives him some treatment brochures.  Scott responds by promptly throwing them out the window the second she leaves.

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Scott Disick is still a douchebag.

But reports now indicate he's a sober douchebag.

Following his especially crazed, drunken actions on Sunday's episode of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, sources say Scott has had a "wake-up call" and entered therapy.

"Scott realized that Kourtney could bar him from seeing Mason if he kept drinking. That's what ultimately led him to get help," the insider tells Life & Style.

Another source gets more specific to E! News and adds: "Scott received outpatient rehab treatment and counseling for alcohol use and psychological issues after his Miami outburst. He's still being treated."

This would be great, encouraging news... if we believed a single word about this family was not contrived by a team of publicists.

“Thank God I jerk off left-handed or I’d have no social life this week.” - Scott Disick

To say Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy is a loser would be an understatement, but it appears our fair heroine finally wised up to this truth last night.

Read on to see what the poor THG intern stuck watching his antics on reality TV thought of last night's installment on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami:

Finally, it was the episode we’ve all been waiting for. The “Douche-pocalyse” (thank you How I Met Your Mother). Scott Disick done lost his marbles, ya’ll.

Okay so Kourtney wises up and realizes Scott’s back to his old tricks and drinking and partying too much. She and Kim chat about this while on their friend Loren’s yacht, which is gorgeous by the way. When they return home, they notice their apartment smells like weed and Kourtney confronts Scott.

Kourt, Scott and Mason: One sweet, happy family.

In his effed up state, he grabs Kourtney tightly by the wrist (none of this is filmed) and she slaps him across the face. She then runs out, grabs Kim and Mason and they head back to Loren’s for safety. Meanwhile, Scott is left to his own devices with only the producers and cameramen to supervise.

He punches the mirror, injuring his hand and is taken to the hospital. 

This is the realest I’ve seen this show get. 

There’s no way that was made up. Everyone knows Scott is crazy, but you can tell just by the filming that this wasn’t fake. The cameramen had to call the producers to decide how to deal with Scott. Kourtney and Kim were visibly scared, and it was altogether a very messed up situation. This is just so sad for Mason.

The next day, Scott apologizes profusely and ends up getting surgery on his hand. Kourtney decides that although she wants to be there for his surgery, she needs to do what’s best for her and Mason.

Scott Disick: The monster, devilish boyfriend from hell.

On the random flip side of this episode, Kim Kardashian is still upset about her breakup with Reggie. She brings it up out of nowhere and it’s not even well transitioned by the producers. She wants to find a mate who will accept her for who she is.

Don’t we all? Anyway, there’s nothing better to cheer a gal up then have a Maserati flown in directly for her!

By the way, it’s such an obvious ploy to keep having Jonathan Cheban pop up on this show. He’s Kim’s best friend, not Kourtney’s or Khloe’s. Clearly, this was a setup by E! to help plug their next reality show, The Spin Crowd.

But enough about him, Khloe is back next week and she comes with a very angry visitor. Oh snap, Scott is about to endure the wrath of Kris Jenner. Amen.

Earlier this week, Kourtney Kardashian told People magazine that Scott Disick is a great father and "obviously not a monster."

But the latest In Touch Weekly cover story aims to disagree with this statement and shed light on just how shady little Mason Dash's daddy really is - and this goes far beyond a supposed penchant for sangria.

With Kourtney and Scott having moved to The Hamptons, a source says Kourtney (and reality show viewers, naturally) may soon see what kind of a monster this man truly can be.

Asked about Disick's past in the area, especially the New York pals with which he associated, an insider revealed:

“He was worse than anyone knows. Scott and all his close friends were in this fake ‘gang’ called the Scummers. They would do all these really awful things together.

"When he was hooking up with a girl in bed, his friends would be in the closet, videotaping what was going on. Sometimes, his friends would jump out of the closet. He’d try to let them join in.”

In other words: Scott Disick is a second coming of Ray J? Haven't the Kardashians made it clear they welcome this kind of behavior? They do have their entire empire to thank for it, after all.