by Hilton Hater at

Credit the marketing department at Louis Vutton for coming up with the following formula: Fun Bags + Hand Bags = A Solid Ad Campaign.

This is especially the case when the fun bags in question belong to Scarlett Johansson. When not discussing the president and other wordly issues, the actress herself will tell you how much she enjoys her breasts.

Scarlett Johansson Red Head

We assume, meanwhile, that Jessica Simpson was next in line for these ads, but she was too busy forgetting Dolly Parton lyrics.

Finally, these Kate Moss nude shots were that model's attempt at garnering a purse endorsement. Instead, she'll have to settle for dating a law-breaking drug addict.

Tags:

by Hilton Hater at

 

Maybe.

Scarlett Johansson Nude Photo

Possibly.

In our dreams, at least.

But perhaps in reality, as well, according to Scarlett Johansson herself. She recently talked about taking it all off on film:

"I'm still making up my mind about when I'll do a nude scene. I'm not opposed to doing nudity, it would just have to be the right project, maybe some sensational European art film."

Come on, Scarlett. Give your American fans that treat instead. Would it help if we started a rumor that your replacement, Amber Sainsbury, was thinking about doing it in the near future?

Or if we told you that Hilary Swank, of all actresses, apparently has no problem getting naked.

In the meantime, Johansson echoed the sentiments of Ashlee Simpson and many other female stars before her, praising her cleavage:

"I'm proud of my breasts. I call them my girls. They're my charms, my feminine wiles. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, my body and my face. Well, not always my face, but it's stuck there and there's nothing I can do about it."

It looks okay to us, Scar. Anyone who doesn't think so should take a look at these Scarlett Johansson pictures - although the face may not be the first thing focused on.

Tags:

by Hilton Hater at

It's not enough for Scarlett Johansson to be the Sexiest Woman Alive. The actress is going for the title of Most Outspoken, as well.

She recently blasted President George W. Bush for his anti-abortion opinions, saying:

ScarJo Photograph

"We're supposed to be liberated in America, but if our president had his way, we wouldn't be educated about sex at all. Every woman would have six children and we wouldn't be able to have abortions."

Bush, of course, had no comment because he was busy ogling pictures of Matt Lauer.

Johansson wasn't finished with her critiques. She seemingly leveled criticism at Bono, Brangelina and other charitable stars.

"You're always going to have people who hop on the bandwagon when something is hip," Scarlett said. "The important thing to remember is that women and children in Africa need help and that has nothing to do with my career."

From there, the Lost In Translation star insisted the movie industry was too obsessed with the weight of their leading ladies. We just hope Kate Bosworth was listening.

"It is obvious to me that there is an overwhelming amount of women, of actors I look at, and they're too thin for my taste," Johansson said. "There's mass genocide, starvation and epidemics but people don't want to talk about those things - they just want to talk about who eats what for lunch. Who cares? I think all Americans are obsessed with weight and it's wrong."

We think that was the quote, at least. But we're not sure. We were busy writing about how thin Nicole Richie is.

Tags:

by Free Britney at

Who has the finest cleavage of the land? Has that sentence ever been used before in the history of the English language? It's very difficult to say.

Both questions, that is. But here we have two extremely worthy candidates battling it out to answer the former. Jessica Simpson (left) is certainly well endowed in that department, while Scarlett Johansson (right) is not what you might call a slouch herself. See below:

Wooo, Jessica!

Come to think of it, why do we have to pick a winner? Much like debating whether Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Richie is the bigger train wreck, there's often no concrete distinction. Some prizes are just meant to be shared. So let's have a round of applause for the real hero here -- what a close friend of T.H. Gossip once termed "the top-of-boobs shirt."

We salute you, top-of-boobs shirt. We salute you.

Tags: ,

by Mischalova at

Being the sexiest woman alive isn't enough for Scarlett Johansson. She's about to prove that her vocal chords match other impressive parts of her body.

Indeed, just like Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton - and this is the last time we'll ever mention Scarlett and those two bags of ho in the same sentence - Johansson is in the process of adding "recording artist" to her acting resume.

A Scarlett Johansson Pic

The star will be releasing "Scarlett Sings Tom Waits," an album covering songs from the singer of the same name. It should be released next spring from Rhino Records,' in accordance with Johansson's movie schedule.

As Hugh Jackman can attest to, Scarlett actually can carry a tune very well.

This won't be a case of a studio mixing sounds to cover for a poor vocalist; or that vocalist relying on her father's name to make it big. No way we're talking about you, Brooke Hogan, don't worry.

Tags:

by Mischalova at

We had our doubts. Don't get us wrong, Scarlett Johansson is quite the looker. But so are many other ladies.

Take a look at this Jessica Biel picture, for instance. That's not unhot.

Scarlett Johansson Nude

Previous winner, Angelina Jolie, could also have taken back the sexy crown; while some on our staff think underdog Kristin Davis deserved the honor.

After seeing this shot of Johansson from her spread in Allure magazine, however, we give in. We give up. Even these Kristen Cavallari pictures can't compete with the exposed Scarlett below:

Tags:

by Mischalova at

Look outside, Scarlett Johansson. Wondering where all those men came from?

When you're deemed the Sexiest Woman Alive, and then you state that you don't fully believe in monogamy, well, guys are gonna be lining up to talk more about such a stance.

ScarJo Photograph

In the new issue of Allure, the actress says she's usually a loyal companion, but that's far from her natural instinct.

"When I'm in a relationship, I'm in a relationship. [My boyfriend, Josh Hartnett] is very sweet," she said. "He's a good boy. A great person. I'm very lucky and I'm very happy. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not promiscuous. "

Was that popular belief? Is Scarlett confusing herself with Paris Hilton again?

The Black Dahlia star goes on to say that even though she's a big fan of going with biological urges, she's not in getting down and dirty with every male she meets - for personal AND safety reasons.

"There does seem to be a mistaken belief out there that I am sexually available somehow, which is not to say that I'm not open-minded about sex. Yet I wouldn't say I'm a serial monogamist, either. I mean, I went through periods of time when I was, ah, single. I do think on some basic level we are animals, and by instinct we kind of breed accordingly."

What, is Johansson reading from the Sienna Miller playbook? Animals don't possess reason and emotion, you seemingly wanna-be skanks.

"I get tested for HIV twice a year ... one has to be socially aware," Scarlett went on. "It's part of being a decent human, to be tested for STDs. It's just disgusting behavior when people don't. It's just so irresponsible."

We can't entirely argue with that. Unless you're in a committed relationship and, you know, trust one another. Does Johansson fear Hartnett is gonna pull a Bobby Brown?

Or maybe she wants to pull a Jessica Simpson? Bam is waiting for your call, Scar.

Tags:

by Mischalova at

We're not entirely sure what Angelina Jolie and Jessica Biel have done to fall from the throne of Sexiest Woman Alive in the eyes of Esquire.

But the 2004 and 2005 winners, respectively, lost out this year to Scarlett Johansson.

Scarlett Johansson Nude

Here's an interview with the actress:

On being voted "Best Breasts" by a weekly tabloid:
"I'm sure my mom will be proud. You work hard making independent films for fourteen years and you get voted best breasts."

** THG note: Victoria Beckham was robbed!

On being voted "Best Bum" in a British poll
:
"There are plenty of girls with nicer butts. There are plenty of girls who work harder for nicer butts. What about my brain? What about my heart? What about my kidneys and my gallbladder?"

** THG note: Beyonce was robbed!

The book she'd take to a desert island:
"How to Survive on a Desert Island."

On posing nude for Vanity Fair with Keira Knightley:
"It was surprisingly comfortable. Everyone was so busy working or loading film. Here I am, Keira and I, and we're totally naked, and some guy is on his BlackBerry. But I guess it's better than if they were all looking at me."

On offering to go nude during a scene in The Island:
"They wanted to make me wear this bra when I woke up in the morning. And I was like, Why don't they just have a sheet draped over me? Nobody sleeps in bras, except maybe French women."

On still being mad at Isaac Mizrahi for feeling her up at the Golden Globes:
"I know he doesn't bat on my team, but still."

Tags:

by Mischalova at

Sexy or kissable? Which would you rather be? As news spread that Jessica Alba was recently named the most kissable celebrity in the world, another young actress took home the honor of sexiest.

Scarlett Johansson Cleavage Picture

According to Esquire, Scarlett Johansson is the most alluring human being on the planet. The 21-year-old actress poses in come-hither garb on the cover and inside pages of the magazine's November issue, on newsstands Oct. 18.

On the cover, she wears a bra and a white Calvin Klein mini-dress; while the Scarlett Johansson pictures inside show her as an "enigmatic trailer-park temptress," the magazine says.

Johansson, whose screen credits include The Black Dahlia, Lost in Translation and Match Point, says she would rather be admired for attributes other than sex appeal.

"What about my brain? What about my heart? What about my kidneys and my gallbladder?" she asks, addressing all the hoopla about her curves in an interview in the magazine.

Relax, Scarlett. We don't disagree with the ranking, but we do have one question: how the heck dif Josh Hartnett bag that?!?

Tags:

by Mischalova at

See, Oprah, we're helping your cause to NOT be the next President of the United States.

JBF Hair

In fact, we're here to endorse Scarlett Johansson because the actress apparently wants the job. At least for a day.

"Whose life would I like to step into for the day? The president's. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office," Johansson said in an interview with InStyle magazine.

That's probably all the insightful information you'll learn about Johansson, however. She says she "can't stand those articles where people spill their life story." Evidently, she enjoys the mystery - this includes having sex with boyfriend, Josh Hartnett. For some reason, she doesn't want anyone hearing that act.

The 21-year-old actress, whose screen credits include Lost in Translation and Match Point, plays a former prostitute in The Black Dahlia, opposite Hilary Swank and that hottie, Hartnett.

She admits to being anxious sometimes.

"Do I ever get nervous about this, right now, being the pinnacle of my career? Yeah, I do. At the end of (filming) every movie I think, `Wow this is the last one! Nice working with you.'"

But at least Johansson will never pull a Kate Bosworth on us. She loves her hourglass figure ... as well she should.

"I'm curvy. I'm never going tobe 5'11" and 120 pounds. But I feel lucky to have what I've got."

Tags: