by Mischalova at . Comments

Last night's celebrity coach, Tony Bennett, has made 106 albums. In other words: these American Idol contestants have a looooong way to go.

But they all treated viewers to solid performances last night, as none of the renditions could be considered bombs. And, yes, that even includes Sanjaya Malakar. He was decked out in a white suit and sang as off-key as ever. Yet he didn't make us wanna destroy our own eardrums for once.

Jacob Lusk Photograph

The performer most criticized by the judges last night was Haley Scarnato. We're not sure why. Then again, we may have been distracted by the beauty's plunging neckline. She seems to be following the Alaina Alexander school of American Idolatry.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

On the non-Malakar male side, Blake Lewis shined again. He may not have the best vocal talent in the world, but this beat boxer adds a fresh spin to any song he performs.

But no one does that as much as Melinda Doolittle. She may be the best singer American Idol has ever seen. After all, no one has previously received the sort of compliment Simon Cowell dished out to this talent last night:

He can't find anything to criticize her about. Wow.

by Mischalova at . Comments

If Boston Market starts to support Heather Mills, then we're outta here.

It's difficult enough to stick around now that Kentucky Fried Chicken has decided to capitalize on the mess that is Sanjaya Malakar with a bizarre marketing campaign.

Sanjaya Picture

The following is an open letter to this American Idol contestant, one that's almost as disturbing as pictures of Sean Stewart nude:

Congratulations on catching America's ears… and eyes.

Over the past month, you've wowed the world with your original performances. And, your ever-changing hairdos have made you almost as famous as KFC® Original Recipe® Chicken and Colonel Sanders himself.

On behalf of Kentucky Fried Chicken®, I want to serve up to you a tasty offer. If you don a bowl hairdo during one of your next nationally televised performances, KFC will grant you a free lifetime supply of KFC Famous Bowls®. We're sure America will be as ‘bowled-over' by your take on this classic look as they are by our KFC Famous Bowls.

From wavy to Mohawk to now the classic bowl â€" who knows, your bowl cut could start a trend as big as KFC Famous Bowls, which consumers ranked as THE most memorable new product of 2006.

In addition to free KFC Famous Bowls for life â€" if you sport a bowl cut, KFC will cut a check in your name to Colonel's Scholars, a charity providing young people with much needed college scholarships. We're confident that helping students afford college is something that even the toughest of judges would stand and applaud.

Your Fan,
Gregg Dedrick
President of KFC

Well, that proves it. Sanjaya has at least one fan. Now let's just hope Jordin Sparks and others have enough to finally get this loser voted off the show this week finally.

by Mischalova at . Comments

ABC and FOX may be competitors, but they have something in common when it comes to their top-rated reality TV shows: outraged fans.

On American Idol, followers of actual music talent cannot believe that Sanjaya Malakar is still on the show. On Dancing with the Stars, meanwhile, followers of moral human beings are saying the same thing about Heather Mills.

Fourth Place Finishers

"Heather Mills is as good a dancer as Sanjaya on American Idol is a singer," a viewer wrote at ABC.com.

"Actually," added the fan, "now that I think about it, Sanjaya is better as a singer than Mills is as a dancer, and that kid certainly is a better human being."

Mills, estranged wife of Paul McCartney, has been a lightning rod for controversy since the show started. A random sampling of messages at ABC's website indicates that show followers are growing tired of the constant references to her prosthetic leg.

"I practically had to have a drink last night to calm my anger - both Sanjaya and the despicable Heather on the same night at the same time.... Yuck!!!!!!!!!!"

At least Sir Paul has moved on with a new girlfriend, Sabrina Guinness. Viewers now hope these shows will move on from such undeserving contestants, as well.

Tuesday marked the first night that ABC aired a recap edition of Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) against the live American Idol results show. followed by a live results edition of DWTS.

To combat the scheduling, however, FOX ran American Idol seven minutes longer- and dominated the ratings.

Yesterday, some fans expressed surprise and anger over Paulina Porizkova getting the boot, suggesting that others, such as Billy Ray Cyrus and Shandi Finnessey, were weaker celebrity dancers.

Still, it was Mills who drew the majority of the ire from fans at ABC's site - as she has done since the show started.

"She is an awful person and cannot dance," wrote one. "The title of this show is called Dancing With the Stars and she is not a star nor is she a celebrity. The fact that she married a celebrity does not qualify."

The Hollywood Gossip couldn't have said it better ourselves. They might as well have invited Tameka Foster on the show.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week. Who (and what) makes the latest edition of the "On Notice" board? Let's see...

It's impossible to argue with his selections. Divorce settlements are bad news all around (talking to you, Britney). And what's with everybody's fiancee getting knocked up before walking down the aisle? It's not just for Keri Russell and Amanda Peet anymore. Everybody's doing it this way. Was there some memo we didn't get?

As for the rest of the list...

  • It's the hair. What else could possibly keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? Watching the guy is raw pain. Yet he stays. Every week. As our ears bleed. Literally.
  • We get it. Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg, yet is on a reality show about dancing! Amazing! Enough. Shouldn't science get the credit for making this possible, not the gold-digging former call girl?
  • Mortgage lenders are paying the price for issuing many thousands of home loans to borrowers with bad credit. If your credit is so poor that you can't qualify for low mortgage rates, should you really be buying a house at all? Think about it.
  • François-Henri Pinault, if you don't treat Salma Hayek right, we will end you.
  • What is it with Laguna Beach graduates and getting arrested? First Jason Wahler (x3), now Jessica Smith. This town should hire one of its less troubled alums, Lauren Conrad, to conduct an anti-DUI seminar.
  • Everyone's trying the pink hair thing. Scarlett Johansson. Kelis. Rachel McAdams. Joss Stone. In a word, it looks really friggin' lame. Get a life! Pink (the singer, not the color) is rolling in her grave.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Get ready for our next headline: Nun Actually Likes Tricia Helfer Nude Pics.

You see, Michael Corcoran is a music critic in Austin, Texas. Supposedly, he knows a lot about the industry as Lauren Conrad knows about fashion.

Sanjaya Picture

So he obviously despises Sanjaya Malakar, right? Right?!? Actually ...

"My ears and eyes must be deceiving me; Sanjaya is not bad at all. From what I heard on Howard Stern and all the piling on in the office on Wednesday mornings, the kid was this year's William Hung, a big joke that he wasn't in on," the critic somehow sad.

"But I called up a couple of his performances on YouTube and he sang on pitch, had a cool look and seemed to be having a blast. Huge careers have been built on less."

"Stop making this 17-year-old kid your scapegoat, you Sanjaya-hatas. I mean, aren't you the people that gave us the indistinguishable Taylor Hicks? Without Sanjaya, this would be one of the most forgettable [American Idol] seasons."

Corcoran makes a decent point. But he's obviously forgotten that Antonella Barba photos have already made this a memorable season of the FOX show.

And if Haley Scarnato continues to sing well and be hot, you never know what the American Idol future will bring.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Maybe Sanjaya Malakar will finally lose a vote now.

While the American Idol contestant's hair - and really poor singing voice - is all the rage over on FOX, Will Ferrell is skating up an afro-themed storm on the big screen. Currently starring in the movie, Blades of Glory, alongside Jon Heder, Ferrell's mop top may be the only thing that actually defeats Malakar in the near future.

Sanjaya Picture

Write in and let us know whose hair you like better.

Then, take a look around our site and comment on the 'do of other celebrities. There's Lindsay Lohan and her constantly changing locks (and men). What about Jessica Simpson going brunette?

We also some some Britney Spears pictures that showed that singer with a new hairstyle. But that can't be true, can it?

by Mischalova at . Comments

Apparently, a few people sang on American Idol last night.

That's what we've been told, at least. But forgive us by being distracted by Sanjaya Malakar; or, more specifically, his hair. If that's what you can even call last night's mohawk-like mop atop his head.

Diddy Dirty Money on Idol

The contestant that actually manages to leave Simon Cowell speechless due to his poor performances attempted to make like a rock star last night. Instead, he made the blue hair on that loser, Perez Hilton, look cool.

In actual singing news from the show: Guest judge Gwen Stefani helped the Idols choose songs that were actually written in the last quarter century. A nice change of pace from previous editions.

As usual, Melinda Doolittle was impressive. And Blake Lewis cemented his status as the male to beat at least.

It's hard to say who will get voted off tonight, but Haley Scarnato may be in trouble. If that's the case, we have some advice for this American Idol cutie:

Show up topless. That seems to be the attention-grabbing strategy of former Idol hopeful, Alaina Alexander.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Sanjaya Malakar survived to sing poorly for another week after last night's American Idol results show.

This may make the stomach of many fans turn - but it makes one particular one grumble for food. And, no, we're not talking about Nicole Richie.

Megan Joy Photo

Some idiot desperate for attention - or at least a hobby - and going by the name of "J" on her MySpace account has taken up a hunger strike until Sanjaya is voted out of the competition. Here's what she has to say:

Aside from the initial debacle with contestant Antonella Barba, season 6 was starting to look like it may be actually very good.

The big voices of Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones, the innovative styling's of Blake Lewis, and the smooth R&B of Phil Stacey are just a few of the hopefuls with immense potential.

However, there is one hinge in this broad spectrum of talent this year ... Sanjaya Malakar.

We have no problems with Sanjaya personally, he seems like a very personable and charming young man. However, he does NOT belong on American Idol. The judges faltered with their decision to place him in the final 24, and American Idol voters have done even worse by keeping him on.

So until the day that Sanjya is no longer American Idol, I will be going on a hunger strike.

Wow. Imagine how these person will feel if Heather Mills makes it far on Dancing with the Stars. Can one even go on a double hunger strike?

by Mischalova at . Comments

And by "fight," of course, we mean "sing as badly as Brooke Hogan."

On American Idol last night, viewers continued to have a brain freeze. Sure, Sanjaya Malakar was included in the bottom three finally ... but apparently he wasn't considered a worse vocalist than Brandon Rogers.

Bowersox! Bowersox!

The former backup singer for Christina Aguilera was sent packing, as Sanjaya remained once more, despite an awful rendition of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" on Tuesday night.

At this rate, with all apologies to Melinda Doolittle, Malakar might as well be considered the favorite. If the last few weeks of ear drum-numbing singing doesn't get him booted off, what will?!? And it's not as though he's that good looking, right, ladies?

At least Antonella Barba gave us some reason to vote for her, despite her subpar vocals. But we don't see Sanjaya nude anywhere, so what's the deal?

Sanjaya Malakar Biography

Maxim's Girl of the Day Terrible singer somehow made the finals on American Idol. Even today, people still love Sanjaya Malakar. More »
Full Name
Sanjaya Malakar
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