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Ronnie Magro says he's too young for a relationship. Young, immature, unstable, abusive. Call it what you want, he and Sam are done. DONE!!!!! GET OWWWT!!!!!

After the latest blowup between the lovebirds on the Jersey Shore Season 3 finale, Ronnie and the inaccurately nicknamed Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola broke up.

They're actually still broken up, too, which is like a record for them.

Sammi, Ronnie Pic

"Some people are just toxic to each other," Magro tells Life & Style, saying that despite trying to make the rocky romance work, he just can't take it anymore.

When Sammi lied about hooking up with Arvin, Ron needed space. "Cheating is where I draw the line," he says, adding that he's too young for a relationship.

Ronnie's 25. Sammi's 24, and only hooked up with Arvin at age 21. Like forever ago. "It was like everything at once came tumbling down," she laments.

"We're better off career- and health-wise figuring out what we need for ourselves," Ron says, in probably the most intelligent statement he's ever made.

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Jersey Shore's third season ended not with a bang, but with a thud. After 13 weeks, we're as exhausted by Sammi and Ronni as the reality stars themselves.

There were many fun, hilarious times in Season 3, but the enduring image will be that of a couple so desperately in love ... and so loathsome of one another.

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes in our official +/- recap below. For the last time until Italy, let's DO THIS:

Ronnie and Sammi Fight Again

Breaking up is hard to do. For you. It's REALLY hard for these idiots.

We pick up where we left off last week. OMG, Ron and Sam are SO in a fight! Did she make out with Arvin? Did she text Arvin to meet up? Do we care? Minus 9.

Arvin: "Sam, we made out before." Sam: "No, we haven't." Arvin: "Yeah, we have." Sam: "No, we haven’t." Plus 4, because is there that much of a gray area?

Is it just us or is Vinny becoming kind of an ass these days? Minus 5.

Whoa, the Snitch-uation apologizes to Sam for meddling. Plus 3.

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Abraham Lincoln famously said that "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Yet a Jersey Shore house divided against itself only stands to be more entertaining.

In this week's installment, friction between Ronnie and Sammi forces peeps to choose sides, while a stalker returns, Deena wears all denim and so much more.

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our official, patented +/- recap below. Let's get it ON!

Vinny and Snooki Photo

Comment rendered unnecessary.

Vinny and Snooki grow closer on a lunch date. Cute, but Minus 10 for the profound words emblazoned on her pants, advice guidos often take literally, deeply.

Later, Vinny decides to get his ears pierced at the Shore Store. First it was the spray tan, now this. At least he's going all out in pursuit of Tool-dom. Plus 7.

Pauly D's hookup is thwarted when Erin’s brother shows up. This seems to happen a lot on Jersey Shore. Minus 5, 'cause celebrities are easy to track down.

Deena: "Let’s be real. You didn’t come here for pastries and like, coffee, you came here to do sex with Pauly and Vinny. You embarrassed yourself." Plus 9.

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This week on Jersey Shore, Vinny and Pauly road tripped it to Staten Island, JWoww grew suspicious of Roger, and in the world of Ronnie and Sammi ... sigh.

Where do we even begin. Like Pauly D, we may kill ourselves if this goes on much longer. So what happened after Sammi's shady texts to Guido MacGyver?

As always, THG breaks down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our official, trademarked +/- recap below. Let's get it ON!

Mauling Sammi

OH YEAH, BABY: Ron and Sam are so in love for these 12 seconds.

Let's just get this out of the way early. Ronnie and Sammi stop fighting their feelings for each other. Things are "so different" now. It's been like a week. Minus 9.

All is well, until Arvin, who The Situation terms "a jacked-up Guido MacGyver," tells him Sammi was texting him to meet at the club. THG smells drama. Plus 5.

Ron: "We're finished. I'm done. Have fun with the girls ... I had every chance to bring the f*%king hottest girl in the club home but I didn't because I was crying like a f*%king bitch, over f*%king you!" Sam: "Me too!" Minus 8.

The Snitch-uation definitely started $h!t, but it was warranted. Plus 4.

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The Situation got served in the Jersey Shore house's latest prank war, while revealing himself to be an even dirtier human being than previously believed.

Dude's more revolting even than the origin of the toilet clog, which was finally kind of revealed. Elsewhere, Snooki sort of admitted her lovey feelings for Vinny.

Sammi also came back to Seaside Heights. D-d-d-d-done!

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

I Wanna Cuddle

SO SWEET: Too bad Vinny wasn't game for Snook's arrangement.

Snooki tells Vinny not to bring any girls home from the club so they can cuddle. Minus 5, girl, because you bring plenty of stuff home from the club too.

The first time you see an ex is always awkward. "Hey Sam," Ron said, "You look good." Sammi's reply? "You look pale." That HURTS on this show. Plus 9.

Deena says Sammi’s “hystatic,” which means “super-happy and … really happy.” Minus only 2, because at least she knows it's a made-up word. We think.

Ronnie awkwardly hovers around Sammi at the club. "I don't want to smother you," he said. Sammi then asks, "Are you leaving?" BURN again. Plus 6.

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Pranks were again off the proverbial hook this week on Jersey Shore, with The Situation getting the better of Deena and Snooki, but later getting served himself.

Also, Sammi's back. Freaking wonderful.

To be honest, though, it's probably best from a dramatic standpoint that the Horror of Hazlet returns. Two weeks of practical jokes is probably sufficient.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Prank Master

DUCK PHONE REVENGE: Plant marshmallows around this house, will they ...

Ronnie's father visits Seaside to lend him some much-needed support. He must not watch the show, otherwise he'd arrive to officially disown his son. Minus 5.

That bike they won on the boardwalk is hella sweet. Plus 3.

Nick, whoever that is (we lose track of Snooki's conquests) doesn't call Snooki back, so she calls him. About 19 times in a row. Dudes really dig this. Minus 9.

Turns out Nick heard Snooki hooked up with both Gianni and Jeff, who are cousins. When you sleep with anything that moves, these things do happen. Plus 4.

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Time heals all wounds, and gives us perspective.

When it comes to reevaluating her time spent on Jersey Shore, Jenni "JWoww" Farley's says her biggest regret is throwing down with Sammi Giancola.

"I actually regret the fights that I did get in with Sam because I was in much the same position she was a few years ago," Farley said on Sirus radio Friday.

Jenni and Sammi

Referring to Sammi's relationship with Ronnie Magro, which reached its tipping point on the episode before last, JWoww is now more sympathetic.

"I had a boyfriend lie and cheat, and I did not believe my girlfriends when they told me," said JWoww, who also had her issues with Tom Lippolis.

Given that her most recent ex is trying to hawk JWoww nude pictures, she has her own problems. Fortunately, she won't take them out on Sam.

So basically, no more epic melees in the house like this ...

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In the aftermath of Sammi's exit from Jersey Shore last week, Ronnie was down in the dumps. The rest of the gang seemed focused more on absurd pranks.

Despite the title, "The Great Depression" was lighter fare than more recent episodes, with fewer epic meltdowns and more bathroom humor - quite literally.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Old Underwear

THAT'S JUST WRONG: Pauly's discovery was dirty even by JS standards.

Right off the bat for using the show to pitch Britney Spears' new music video. Videos, on MTV? What a concept! Plus 5 in hopes that this pattern continues.

Despite being enraged every second she's around, Ronnie mopes now that Sammi's gone, whining non-stop in an all-out effort to grow a vagina. Minus 19.

Seriously, Jenni could take Ronnie. You can see the disgust on her face. Plus 4.

Sammi breaks down at home. Minus 10 for not making this a Sammi-free week, 'cause she'll be back wearing her one white skirt/black top outfit in no time.

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It was the breakup to end all breakups.

In this corner, the horror of Hazlet, N.J., one of the most b!tchy, grating, stuck up, painfully annoying and unpleasant girls ever, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola!

And in this corner, hailing from the Bronx, the worst boyfriend in human history, an idiotic, abusive, alcoholic meathead with rage issues, Ronnie Magro!

Ronnie and Sammi Fight, Take 12

These two fight every waking hour, but on Thursday night (see our Jersey Shore recap for the full rundown), things finally reached the point of no return.

No woman deserves to be treated like Sam did, ever. Yet she remains a bratty button-pusher who's very hard to sympathize with for a litany of reasons.

What did you think? Did Ron go too far? Did she PUSH him too far and does she share some of the blame? Are they both just gluttons for punishment?

Vote below and tell us: Whose side are you on here?

 

Follow the jump for one clip from the episode-long melee:

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This week's Jersey Shore marked the departure of Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola. A permanent exist, we think - and hope - after the fight to end all fights.

As much as we aren't sorry to see her go, we'll give her this much - she went out in style after a blowout with Ronnie Magro that exceeded even their standards.

This comprised most of the memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode, as we've broken down, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Sammi in Bed!

BOILING POINT: Ron wants Sam's stuff out of here ... with her on top of it.

Ronnie confronts The Situation for violating guy code. Funny how, like Sammi pointing the finger at JWoww and Snooki, they always blame others. Minus 2.

Able to see the big picture (take note, Ron), Sitch "takes the high road" and apologize to ensure it doesn't end in a brawl. Plus 6 for his surprising maturity.

He hits the boardwalk to cool off, unaware that Sammi is also heading there with Deena, who "loves single Sammi!" Who loves anything Sammi!? Minus 4.

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