Sammi Giancola Jersey Shore

Despite being back in the Garden State, and not even two hours away from his beloved family, and despite having reunited with them during last week's Jersey Shore Season 5 premiere, Vinny Guadagnino just could not snap out of his "funk."

We feel for Vin in a sense. Sure, he is a total mama's boy. But coming home after filming Season 4 in the mother land, the cast was given NO time off to decompress. Thrown immediately back into the cesspool that is Seaside, anyone might lose their mind.

Come along as we break down last night's Jersey Shore, THG style!

The Situation reunites with an old flame. Who is actually pretty good looking. We really thought Sitch only threw himself on land mines and grenades. And Snook, who may be hydrogen bomb material by the gang's metrics. Plus 10.

Snooki and Ryder get caught in the rain. They do not like it. We're impressed they can even feel such things with a BAC perpetually over .20. Plus 5.

Unlikeliest bromance ever: The Situation loans Jionni some dry clothes, and in return, Snooki's BF cooks him late-night breakfast. LOL. Plus 13.

“We share a girl, we can share underwear,” he says. Revolting. Minus 5.

Vinny opens up to his boss about his struggles with anxiety. Aww. Jersey Shore after school special anyone? Mental health issues are important! Plus 7.

Please, though, can we drop the pretense that Danny is an actual boss and working at the Shore Store is a real job? These are celebrities now. Minus 18.

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Booze. Smooshing. Fights. More Booze. Grenades. Kooka.

They get on our nerves at times, but like family members, we're not ashamed to admit we the Jersey Shore crew and their unique brand of crazineess, even if the fourth season concluded a mere two months ago. Welcome back to America, brah.

Throughout much of last season in Italy, Mike was trying to insert himself in Snooki, and Snooki's relationship with Jionni. That was pretty much the case again in the Season 5 premiere Thursday night, at least the latter part. So what went down?

Come along for THG's official recap, +/- style!!

The roommates head back home and begin filming Season 5 in N.J. immediately, a move MTV said was to "preserve chemistry." More like not allow the ticking time bomb any opportunity to reset. Plus 10 for the viewers who benefit.

As they run up the stairs to the Seaside house, it's like they never left. We feel strangely at home there too by now, even if we feel the need to bathe in hand sanitizer and rubbing alcohol after watching each episode. Plus 5.

The first hours back at the Shore are spent: Downing pickle juice (Snook, Plus 5), downing Ron Ron Juice (All, Plus 5), dry humping (Vinny and Pauly, a little over the top, but Plus 1) and a strollin' on the boardwalk (Plus 4). Like old times.

"I'm tanorexic, bro." - Pauly D, about to get his GTL on. Plus 3.

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After some fistfights with JWoww and screaming matches with Ronnie, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola somehow managed to mellow out in Season 4 of Jersey Shore.

What can we expect from her in the coming fifth season?

"We were so happy to be home," she said. "We went straight from Italy to Seaside with no breaks, so we were extremely comfortable with each other."

"You're gonna see a happier side of Jersey Shore."

At least for a time. There are apparently some explosive developments this season (and every season), namely Vinny Guadagnino peacing out of Seaside.

Don't expect too much drama from Sam, though.

"The new season was actually really good for me and Ron," she said. "But then things happened - and now we're single. I'm just working on myself now."

No word if she and Ron have gotten back together in the time it took us to put together this post, but check out the Jersey Shore Season 5 trailer below:

Jersey Shore Season 5 Trailer

And like that, another season of Jersey Shore is behind us.

With pranks galore, cheating scandals, Mike being KO'd, Deena saying "do sex" a lot and more shots of Snooki's kooka than we care to remember, it's been epic.

The fourth season finale was a bit anticlimactic, however. You can't force insane fights or girl-on-girl maulings, we realize, but not a whole lot went on Thursday.

Most of the episode revolved around Mike whining and claiming he was about to quit the show for good. Did he make good on that? Will he return for Season 5?

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we the Season 4 finale of the MTV reality smush, THG +/- style!

The season finale opened up with another confrontation about Mike. Ronnie tells The Situation to either apologize for causing drama or GTF outta here. Plus 10.

He even drops the A-bomb (Angelina) on Mike. Ouch! Plus 5.

Sam was totally turned on by that conversation. Lucky for Ron, who got to vent his frustrations against Mike by smushing that so good. Delightful. Plus 3.

Pauly D with the commentary: "Everyone knows it took five minutes for them to get their smush on. No wonder why Sam never smiles." LOL, and Plus 4.

Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro really have been so drama free this fall by their standards, which is nice ... but Minus 5 since they broke up this week.

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Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro have broken up. NOTE: This is the October 2011 edition of the recurring story featuring the combative Jersey Shore couple.

"We are not together," Ron said at a Paranormal Activity 3 superfan screening in NYC.

Following their epic fight on Jersey Shore's third season, the pair reconciled during the filming of Season 4 Florence, and have actually been pretty mellow so far.

Ronnie and Sammi are done. Like, they are DONE!

"Being in Italy, in such a romantic atmosphere, brought us together," Ron said. "[It was] probably the highest point in our relationship." Apparently not for too long.

Jersey Shore fans all know the two have strong feelings for each other ... that often turn violent. We don't expect their co-stars will be saddened by this report.

"I love single Ronnie," Pauly D says. "When he's doing the relationship thing, I don't get involved. He's a different person with Sammi. She's a difficult woman!"

One he'll likely be back together with by Christmas.

Whose side are you on?

[Photo: WENN.com]

Last week's Jersey Shore ended with a cliffhanger of sorts. After the realization that Snooki's kooka cuddled with Vinny's junk,she spilled the beans to Jionni.

In this episode, we saw the conclusion of this epic saga, which went about as you'd expect. Meanwhile, a lot of people are really not big fans of Situation.

We've always liked Mike in spite of his significant flaws. But his failure to see that he has such flaws - and thus feel sorry for himself - is beyond baffling.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Jionni clearly was not happy, but he merely sounded disappointed ... that low tone of voice designed to make the other party feel guilty and like a useless human being. Plus 14 for not screaming and thus making Snooki look sympathetic.

He told Snook that he "can't call her his girlfriend." Same here man. Plus 7.

Minus 11 because clearly they're back together, rendering this pointless.

Elsewhere on the aspiring roommate hookup front, wannabe Snooki Deena really wants her kooka to cuddle up to Pauly D. Minus 5 for not taking a hint.

Minus 20 more for how she says "do sex." NO ONE SAYS THAT.

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This has, without a doubt, been the best season of Jersey Shore yet.

There have been laughs. There have been tears. There have been fights culminating in walls knocking out Mike. There have been gratuitous displays of Snooki's kooka.

Could last night's installment meet these increasingly high standards set by the N.J. crew? Between meeting Vinny's family and another insane melee, it came close.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Tension was already high after Snooki's breakup with Jionni and getting it in (or at least hooking up) with Vinny. Then Mike had to make it worse. Effing Mike. Minus 11.

JWoww tells Snooks about Mike's comments about what she supposedly did with him. Snooki flips out, justifiably. Plus 3. Mike then decides to apologize. Just kidding.

Sitch tells all the roommates that he gave his boy Unit Jionni's number so that he can tell him what really went down between the two. Yes, his name is Unit. Plus 4.

Since Mike is really the rat, and hardly for the first time, this prank did not exactly go over well. Minus 16 for lack of tact. Wrong time to punk your supposed friend. Of all people who don't need to stage a fake mole hunt, it's Mike.

Plus 29 for absolute eruption that inevitably followed, however.

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If you thought last week's display of Snooki's kooka would turn the men of Jersey Shore away forever, you thought wrong. Apparently it did the opposite.

Seriously, what is it about this girl? After her antics caused a rift with Jionni (at least temporarily), TWO of the roommates immediately make their move?

Baffling. As is the concept of Deena raising a child. When she missed her period, let's just say all of humanity was hoping for a false alarm. Did we get it?

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Snooki dances away the pain alone at the bar. Fortunately, no straight vagine. Plus 7.

Forced to pretend she has a job, Deena cleans the bathrooms at work. Pretty gross, we have to say. The bathrooms look respectable, however. Plus 4.

JWoww apologizes to Snooki for blowing her off, but soon enough, warns Snooki to not act like Sammi over Jionni. Sage advice from our girl J. Plus 5.

Plus 12 for Sam telling JWoww that she'd prefer to be mocked as "the old Sam" because Sam 2.0 is so much better at relationships. Self-deprecating!

Ronnie and Sammi actually do seem stable lately. Relatively. Plus 5.

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The make-out session between Deena and Snooki on Jersey Shore two Thursdays ago made for probably the most absurd episode in the show's four seasons.

Even co-stars Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro were stunned. Says Ron of Deena: "Whatever is breathing in front of her ... if it's got a pulse, she likes it."

"Deena is one of my best friends in the house," Sammi added of her bi-curious BFF. "She's just fun... I think she definitely likes making out with everybody."

Two words, people. Straight vagine.

Jersey Shore: Deena and Snooki Make Out

Even more amazing? Snooki's kooka made an appearance the following week as well. Not surprisingly, Jionni caught the first flight out of Florence.

Effing Snooki.

Last night was all about the pint-sized princess, but surprisingly, the car crash that ended last week's episode paled in comparison to what followed.

Jionni came to visit, and even if the producers weren't hinting at this all season, it seemed inevitable that her conduct would mortify him. And it did.

Don't ask us how it would come as a surprise to Jionni, given that he's dating SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE. It's the nature of the beast, dude.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Snooki and Deena avoided jail time for the police car mashup and the gang was allowed to stay in Florence. Fist-pump. Plus 3.

Snooki is no longer allowed to drive. Double fist-pump. Plus 4.

JWoww finds out that her boyfriend can't come out to visit. Minus 5, because we like Roger, and we felt bad for Jenni, tears welling on her fake eyelashes.

Snooki decides to use one of the twins to prank Sitch. This is at least the second time the twins have been used as sexual practical joke fodder. Plus 4.

The goal? To bust Mike bringing another girl home. Which happened as predicted ... but somehow only helped him get it in. Call it a Wash all around!

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