Despite being back in the Garden State, and not even two hours away from his beloved family, and despite having reunited with them during last week's Jersey Shore Season 5 premiere, Vinny Guadagnino just could not snap out of his "funk."
We feel for Vin in a sense. Sure, he is a total mama's boy. But coming home after filming Season 4 in the mother land, the cast was given NO time off to decompress. Thrown immediately back into the cesspool that is Seaside, anyone might lose their mind.
Come along as we break down last night's Jersey Shore, THG style!
The Situation reunites with an old flame. Who is actually pretty good looking. We really thought Sitch only threw himself on land mines and grenades. And Snook, who may be hydrogen bomb material by the gang's metrics. Plus 10.
Snooki and Ryder get caught in the rain. They do not like it. We're impressed they can even feel such things with a BAC perpetually over .20. Plus 5.
Unlikeliest bromance ever: The Situation loans Jionni some dry clothes, and in return, Snooki's BF cooks him late-night breakfast. LOL. Plus 13.
“We share a girl, we can share underwear,” he says. Revolting. Minus 5.
Vinny opens up to his boss about his struggles with anxiety. Aww. Jersey Shore after school special anyone? Mental health issues are important! Plus 7.
Please, though, can we drop the pretense that Danny is an actual boss and working at the Shore Store is a real job? These are celebrities now. Minus 18.