Ryan Seacrest

Sorry, Simon Cowell. But you didn't make this year's Victoria's Secret What is Sexy? list.

Even more frustrating for this American Idol judge? His on-screen rival, Ryan Seacrest, did earn a spot in the latest rankings. The lingerie company announced this week that Seacrest has a sexy smile.

Ryan Seacrest is sexy. We can safely say a contestant on this year's American Idol, Kristy Lee Cook, can also be classified as such.

"What's sexy about (Seacrest) is he doesn't act like he is," Victoria's Secret spokeswoman Monica Mitro said. "We felt that his smile was quite sexy â€" in a very subtle and innocent and humble way."

A Saturday night party in Scottsdale, Arizona is planned to recognize the honorees. They also include annoying, unfunny comedian Dane Cook, Rihanna, Tony Romo, Fergie and Josh Duhamel.

Simon Cowell must be jealous of Erica Lancellotti.

After all, the owner of New York City hot spot, BarCandy, is dating Cowell's dream man: Ryan Seacrest.

In an interview with In Touch, Lancellotti says she and the American Idol host have been getting it on for awhile now:

"We have been dating on and off for a few years," she said. "We met at the Wetbar of the W hotel in New York and the only thing that has kept us apart has been his busy schedule."

Erica Lancellotti looks to be mixing some fruity drink. It must be for her boyfriend, Ryan Seacrest.

Overall, how does Erica feel about her new man?

"He's a great guy and I love him."

Ryan Seacrest was at Les Deux October 26 when Britney Spears mingled with Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and said he saw her give Romo a lap dance.

"I spoke to her for a minute. She seemed to be in a very, very good mood," Ryan Seacrest said on his KIIS-FM radio show this morning. Meds will do that.

"She had her sunglasses on. I said, 'Busy day, huh?' She smiled and laughed and said, 'Yeah.' And then I believe I saw her and Tony Romo frolicking."

"Lap dancing?" a co-host asked.

"I mean, some would say," Seacrest said.

"She's on his lap," the co-host continued.

"Yeah," Seacrest replied.

Spears and Alli Sims first met up with Tony Romo when they made a five-minute stop at Ketchup restaurant in L.A. after her frenzied custody hearing on Friday.

Britney Spears and Alli Sims left after about five minutes.

The pair hit Les Deux around 10:30 p.m., with Tony Romo (who was recently linked to Sophia Bush) and his friends joining them a short time later.

"She was dancing and talking a lot with Tony," an onlooker told Us Weekly.

Britney Spears, the witness added, "seemed in a really good mood and was super happy when [one of her] songs came on."

Her pal, Avril Lavigne, also popped by her table to say hi. No word on whether Sam Lutfi was there or whether he just came over later that night.

In typical Britney Spears clubbing style, the singer changed into a new dress and shades in the club bathroom midway through the night.

By 1:15 a.m., Spears left with Alli Sims, but returned to Les Deux a short time later after realizing she accidentally left her cell phone behind.

And it's a good thing she did. You don't want some random idiot getting ahold of your meth dealer's phone number. Or Tony Romo's.

The following parting shots from the weekend appear courtesy of the New York Daily News, which has compiled a nice list of Emmy gossip...

They say they're just friends, but Heroes co-stars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia seldom left each others' side during the weekend. At the Governor's Ball, he was seen... cutting her meat! Maybe that's what they're calling it these days. Or what 30-year-old does for someone who's 18.

Host Ryan Seacrest was still awaiting a critique from his American Idol foil Simon Cowell. "Simon sure is miserable," Ryan deadpanned. "He skipped out on the dinner to sit by himself and sulk."

Seacrest and Cowell - who rated Ryan's effort a "respectable" 2.5 stars out of 4 - partied together later at a TV Guide bash.

The Emmys failed to impress Entourage star Adrian Grenier. He was overheard to say, "I don't watch any of the [awards] shows, and I never win."

An event producer for 50 Cent loaned Paris Hilton his room key so she and some guy pals could retreat to his room to "smoke" before the party last weekend. A wobbly Hilton then "chugged a vitamin water to quench her dry mouth."

Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy hit the dance floor like it was 1989 when Duran Duran rocked the Entertainment Tonight party. Also there were Anna Nicole baby daddy Larry Birkhead and Daisy Fuentes. Howard K. Stern? Not present.

You don't need a forensics lab to confirm that David Chase put out a hit on President Bush in his Emmy acceptance speech Sunday night.

Toting his golden angel for best drama series, The Sopranos creator alluded to the Bush administration when he pondered whether "this nation itself was run by gangsters ... maybe it is... there's no accountability."

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane was appalled that Fox bleeped out Sally Field's comment about the "godâ€"--- war." Jon Stewart joked that censors "probably thought she was saying 'whore.' This is Fox... You gotta class the joint up!"

We couldn't help but notice that this weekly pop culture power rankings in Sports Illustrated contain some familiar faces and stories to readers of The Hollywood Gossip. Let's take a look at what's in the news and who's winning SI's notoriety contest ...

10. Joey Fatone
The "Fat One" signs on to run the red carpet show for the TV Guide Network. We never thought we'd say this, but, we miss Joan Rivers.

9. Chuck Liddell
The former UFC champ partied all night with Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon of Entourage) in Las Vegas last weekend while Dillon celebrated his birthday.

8. Duane Chapman
Dog The Bounty Hunter may have a hit TV show and best selling book but he still can't escape the law. There's gotta be a Michael Vick joke here somewhere.

7. Hayden Panettiere
The hottest cheerleader this side of Friday Night Lights turns 18 which means bring on the cigarettes and pornos (her words, not ours).

6. Bill Murray
There's nothing funny about drinking and driving, but when it entails Bill Murray throwing back a few in a golf cart, it has the makings of a Caddyshack reunion.

5. Tom Brady
So, Brady wants some time off to see the birth of his child (with Bridget Moynahan, his ex). We'd pay to see the look on Bill Belichick's face when he's asked about that one.

4. Tiki Barber / Eli Manning
Tiki finally lit a fire under Eli and made him break out of his clichéd monologue after questioning the QB's leadership skills. Why didn't he do that last year?

3. Ryan Seacrest
Just when you thought Super Bowl pre-game shows couldn't get any worse, Fox announced that the American Idol metrosexual will be hosting the snoozefest in February.

2. The Orange Bowl
One of college football's most storied stadiums is living on borrowed time after the Hurricanes start playing home games at Dolphin Stadium in 2008.

1. Michael Vick
Can we stop talking about whether or not Michael Vick will be able to resume his NFL career when he's done serving his time in jail? Any team that signs Vick when he gets out might as well go out and get Kevin Federline to play wide receiver.

Ryan Seacrest is known for being masculine and really into sports.

NOT!

Nevertheless, the American Idol host will be in charge of the pre-game and halftime festivities for next February's Super Bowl XLII at Arizona's University of Phoenix Stadium. Does this mean that Arizona native and last seasons American Idol champion, Jordin Sparks, will perform at the game?

We can only hope so.

For now, though, we're just gonna mock the decision: Ryan Seacrest at the Super Bowl?!?

That's like inviting Tila Tequila to a clothes convention.

Or considering Shannon Funk for an Employee of the Month award.

Or putting Michael Vick in charge of a kennel.

We could do this for hours.

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt aren't about to let Lauren Conrad tell her side of their ongoing feud without retaliating with a vengeance.

After a weekend website posting by Pratt, followed by bitter comments from Heidi Montag Monday in an interview with Philadelphia's Q102, the duo were back on attack this week as guests on Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM radio show in L.A.

Asked how they felt about last week's story in Us Weekly, in which Lauren Conrad and her fellow cast members paint reality TV's most talked-about couple as a pair of pathetic backstabbers who "use" people for attention, Montag retorted:

"We didn't start it... I was shocked when I read that. We were living our lives, doing our own things. Lauren is the last thing on my mind ... and then this comes out?"

Spencer, who is looking more and more like an acne-riddled, blonde Ken Doll every day, took the opportunity to further expand on this, telling Ryan Seacrest:

"All we've been worrying about is Heidi's music... we were totally at peace with LC... all of a sudden, my grandma calls me almost crying, 'Go get Us Magazine Spencer, it's terrible.' It's six pages of just hating on us."

T.H. GOSSIP NOTE: Something about the image Spencer Pratt getting a tearful phone call from his grandmother strikes us as laughable... or a complete lie.

Never mind the fact that Us Weekly will print and make a huge frickin' deal out of everything Spencer Pratt says or does, giving him the publicity he craves so hard. Not that we don't. But it's like he's biting the hand that feeds his (D-list) celebrity. So to speak.

After dishing on the drama, the always media conscious Montag and Pratt had to remind listeners: it's all going to play out when Season 3 of The Hills premieres Monday.

We cried tears of joy over Eva Longoria nude photos a few months ago.

But Ryan Seacrest, being our favorite metrosexual, saved the tears for Eva's first dance with new husband Tony Parker.

"I am crying," confessed wedding guest Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show Monday morning.

In a 17th Century French castle where the reception was held Saturday night, People magazine reported Peter Gabriel's cover of the Magnetic Fields song "Book of Love" played, and the bride and groom â€" who had a church wedding earlier â€" "were just staring at each other," Seacrest said. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."

That's when the American Idol host, standing with Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba, lost it. "They are smiling and I am a disaster," he said.

We wish Simon Cowell had been there to mock this blubbering fool.

Supposedly, though, wasn't a mess during the week leading up to the Paris nuptials when Longoria and Parker entertained their guests in Parker's native country.

At one dinner, Ryan Seacrest got all giddy about a French painter who Tony Parker hired to create a celebrity picture of his future bride at the party.

"He did it in like two minutes and it was perfect," Seacrest said. Against a black canvas, "he did this Cirque du Soleil type dance with two white paint brushes...He starts to paint and paint and what you see is Tony playing basketball and everyone is thinking: OK that is kind of cool.

Then he runs back up to the canvas and messes it up like he screwed up. ... Then he flips the painting over and make two dots with his brush, left and right, and it is Eva Longoria in every detail."

In other words: it's a gorgeous painting. We may hire this dude to do one of Megan Fox nude.

Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell might as well come out as a couple at this point. They fight like a married pair.

You get the feeling that the insults are less serious than celebrity gossip that Britney Spears will actually be joining Cowell as an American Idol judge.

During a recent press junket to promote the launch of E! News in Canada, Seacrest acknowledged that Idol's ratings, while still atop the Nielsen Ratings, had slipped last season - and jokingly blamed Simon for the significant slump.

"Well, the knee-jerk reaction would be Simon," Seacrest said. "Clearly there's an over-saturation of his character."

Seacrest's ribbing was nothing if not good-natured, of course. And the host who crowned Jordin Sparks as this year's champion dialed up his British pal on his radio show yesterday.

"Everything good goes to you," Seacrest told his English friend, endangering the chances that Simon would introduce him to hot countrywomen Lucy Pinder and Michelle Marsh. "If there's any hiccup along the way, we are obligated to blame you. You want the credit, you get the blame."

"When I'm allowed more airtime," Cowell countered, "we get 34 million viewers. When I say nothing and you're talking, we get 12 million less."

"There's a little bit of an ego getting out of control with you," Seacrest shot back. Cowell's solution to drive ratings for season seven? "Let us talk more. When I say us, I mean me."

And so it went, two buddies joking like Paul Sculfor and Victoria Beckham re-living the past.

In the end, Seacrest, who recently performed a widely praised comedic cameo in the film Knocked Up, offered the final straw. "I know you're upset they didn't ask you to be in Knocked Up," he told the judge. "It's okay that [director] Judd Apatow didn't call you. You can't be everywhere all the time. You're one old man!"

The big news on American Idol last night wasn't that Sanjaya Malakar was finally shown the door.

It was the confiding whisper that Ryan Seacrest passed along to Melinda Doolittle while cameras were rolling. Did you miss it?

Apparently, Ryan was afraid that Mindy Doo wasn't an avid reader of The Hollywood Gossip and missed the day when Shana Wall insisted that the American Idol host was heterosexual. So Seacrest felt the need to remind the singing sensation last night.

No offense to Doolittle, but we're a little surprised Ryan didn't make this declaration to past contestants such as Alaina Alexander or Antonella Barba. They lacked Melinda's vocal talent, but made up for it in other, nude ways.

Anyway, we're gonna consult with Neil Patrick Harris to see if his gaydar detects whether or not Seacrest is lying here. We'll get back to you.