by Free Britney at . Comments

At the 2012 MTV Movie Awards on Sunday evening, host Russell Brand kicked off the event with a zany monologue in which he mocked Justin Bieber, Charlie Sheen, Kim Kardashian, Michael Fassbender's penis, Katy Perry and himself.

After giving Bieber props for his alleged scuffle with a photographer, Brand said, "Justin Bieber is so pretty that even if he was attacking me, I'd do a little orgasm."

It only got zanier from there.

"The last time I hosted I did marry someone who was there, so I'm keeping my eyes open for a new wife tonight," Brand said, before shouting, "Fassbender!"

That would be Michael Fassbender, who was there to represent Prometheus.

Brand also goofed on Charlie Sheen, who was there for reasons unknown, saying he'd stashed alcohol and some cocaine under the actor's seat. You know, just in case.

Perhaps most amusingly, Brand thanked Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for taking the pressure off of him - in terms of short-lived marriages and humiliating MTV award moments, respectively - and said he hopes they make a sex tape together.

Hopefully Kanye learns from his predecessor and stays sober during it, though, because Ray J "just looked a little too pleased with himself" while nailing KK.

Brand would also shot out "Twilight!" and "Hunger Games!" intermittently and for no apparent reason. What do you think of Russell's monologue? Grade it below:

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

The man, the myth, the legendarily zany Russell Brand will host the MTV Movie Awards on June 3, the cable network officially confirmed this week.

The comedian, who has hosted the MTV VMAs twice, will front the ceremony for the first time at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Universal City, Calif.

Brand said, "This MTV Movie Awards will be more impressive than The Avengers and you won't have to wait an hour for someone to Hulk out."

Russell Brand Testifies

MTV President Stephen Friedman also said of the 36-year old's involvement:

"With his amazing ability to span the full spectrum of comedy from the most high to low-brow, Russell's smart, unpredictable wit uniquely connects to our audience."

"His rock-n-roll sensibility and fearlessness give us the perfect partner with whom to take a leap of faith with as we meld the worlds of movies and music on one very special night."

Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth and Mila Kunis will all present at the bash. Check out our list of 2012 MTV Movie Award nominations to see who's up for the golden popcorns.

Also, you gotta see Russell destroy a heckler at his recent stand-up gig.

Russell Brand Biography

Russell Brand, Teresa Palmer Russell Brand is a British comedian, actor, columnist and presenter of radio and television. You may remember him for hosting the 2008... More »
Born
Full Name
Russell Brand
x Close Ad