by Free Britney at . Comments

Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Fists of Fury

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

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Brace yourselves for stunning news. Jersey Shore stars Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and Ronnie "Meathead" Magro are over. You got that? They are DONE!

"It is over," a source close to the couple says, noting that there was "major tension" throughout the show's third season ... who would have guessed.

Another insider noted that the toxic tandem was "barely speaking to each other" by the end, and things were icy recently on Good Morning America.

Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie Meathead

THE HORROR FROM HAZLET: Sammi's smiling, bit likely cackling inside.

The couple's romance blossomed in season one, and survived many bumps in the road ... some of which comprised Ron bumping and grinding on other girls.

"I'm embarrassed about what I did," Ronnie Magro said of his antics in Miami, which were admittedly bad, although dating Sammi would drive anyone insane.

As the Jersey Shore Season 3 premiere made clearer than ever, her nickname is a total misnomer, as she is probably THE biggest b!tch in reality TV history.

So who's to blame for the recent split? Eh, who the hell cares. All we know is that he's already Tweeting about "Single Ronnie." Let the Ron-Ron Juice flow.

by Free Britney at . Comments

"I'm just so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates." - Snooki

With those words, a new season of MTV's guiltiest, most unsanitary pleasure is upon us. We are back in Seaside Heights, N.J., and it feels like we never left.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Ooooooooga

We know, Sitch. We totally know.

Plus 50 for Deena Nicole Cortese's first 15 minutes at the house, shown above.

Why bother pretending these are normal people, though? Minus 9 for Snook briefing Deena on the roommates, like she hasn't seen every freaking episode.

Sammi on Deena: "I thought she was gonna be hot. I'm all taken aback." Girl, she's friends with Snooki. No offense, but come on. Minus 3 for cluelessness.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

With 2010 drawing to a close, it is with much pride that THG unveils its 10 finalists for its prestigious, Fourth Annual Celebrity of the Year award.

These stars all gave us their best, their worst, their nude pics (sometimes) and their scandals (often). This month, THG honors that greatness.

After the Kardashians kame in at #5, we present an even more useless group as our Celebrity of the Year finalist #4 ... the Jersey Shore cast!

Snooki-Angelina Fight

Love 'em or hate 'em, they left their mark in 2010.

We know. They are idiots. You can spare the "what a bunch of losers with no future and bad values" bit, because we f*%king know. Maybe that's the appeal.

You can argue how undeserving they are of fame and fortune all day long, and you won't be wrong. But doesn't that apply to many "celebrities" nowadays?

In terms of raw impact on popular culture, few have had the impact of this gang of guidos and guidettes, who rose from obscurity to household names.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore star Ronnie Ortiz (also known as Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Ronnie Magro) has been formally indicted by New Jersey grand jury on an assault charge.

The legal trouble for Ron stems from an episode from the MTV reality series. The title of the episode during with he cold-cocked Stephen Izzo? "One Shot."

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

Ortiz faces up to five years in state prison for third-degree assault.

DOUCHE-TASTIC: And this was before his new tattoo!

The meathead “purposely or knowingly caused significant bodily injury to Stephen Izzo by striking in the face with a closed fist," the indictment reads.

Izzo is already suing Ortiz, MTV, Jersey Shore producers and the nightclub over the assault, which caused him to lose consciousness. Pretty bad stuff.

Not bad enough for the show to tone down the violence, of course. If these clips from Jersey Shore Season 3 are any indication, it's gonna be a wild winter.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Those hoping for major fireworks or knock-down, drag-out brawls on the Jersey Shore Season 2 reunion special last night came away sorely disappointed.

On some reality shows, the reunion special is the best part. It's when Teresa Giudice flips tables and labels Danielle Staub a prostitution whores. Not here.

These people are all flirting with prostitution whore status, too. Anyway, here's THG's usual +/- recap of last night. Aww yeah, reunion show recap YEAH!!

Ronnie and JWoww

There's no love lost between Ron and JWoww after The Note.

One could argue this show is depressing, and that its cast is a bunch of losers who reflect badly on our society. Or one could say It's T-shirt tiiiiiime!! Plus 7.

Could host Julissa Bermudez be more robotic? They should have gotten Angelina Pivarnick to host without the cast knowing. We'd pay to see that. Minus 5.

Speaking of Ange, Ronnie had one of the best Jersey Shore quotes last night: "How could you not smush if you get Fossil watch? And it was white!" Plus 9.

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After some skirmishes but a lack of fireworks, the second season of Jersey Shore went out with a thud. Not really a bang. Pauly D didn't even try to get it in!

There was a trip to the swamp, a feud between friends, a last hurrah at the club, and a great line or two, but "Back Into the Fold" was more filler than finale.

Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's Season 2 finale in its patented +/- recap. Aww yeah, last recap YEAH!!

At the Glades

They really dragged this season of Jersey Shore out.

The gang heads to the Everglades. MTV is really milking the Florida thing. Minus 5.

Sitch scares JWoww with his frog legs. We mean actual dismembered frog parts, not his own legs, which are frog-like compared to that HGH-enhanced chest. Plus 4.

The restroom tryst starring the Situation during the last night at the club might have set the sanitary bar lower than ever. Not a small feat for Jersey Shore. Minus 6.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Last night's Jersey Shore was titled "Deja Vu All Over Again." Fitting, as the plight of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino continued for a second straight week.

After the self-proclaimed King of Pimps ran afoul of Snooki last week, he struck out with more girls, got the gang booted from da club and failed as a wingman.

We felt bad ... for Pauly D. Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's episode of the show in its patented +/- recap ...

GTF Out!

Not DTF? Then GTF out!

Snooki becomes homesick after saying goodbye to her friend Ryder and contemplates leaving. Minus 7, because we know filming ends in a matter of days.

The Situation kicks a girl out of his bed after she tells him she doesn't want to hook up, leading to one of our favorite exchanges this season. Sitch: "Don't come over to somebody's house at f*%king 5 a.m. and expect to play checkers." Non-DTF Girl: "I never said anything about checkers, OLD MAN!" LOL. Guy is like 28. Plus 28.

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Ronnie Ortiz-Magro has it all figured out.

The Jersey Shore star was caught cheating multiple times on girlfriend Sammi Giancola during Season 2 in Miami, but he knows that as long as he apologizes and says how atrocious his behavior was, her pathetic ass will take him back.

Done and done.

SamRon

SELF RESPECT: "Sweetheart" Sammi Giancola has none.

"When I saw myself with those girls [it] was, 'Wow, you're the man right now at the club. You look f*%king awesome,'" he says of his wild Jersey Shore days.

But, then he adds: "And then when I go home to Sam, I'm like, 'Wow, I'm embarrassed. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm embarrassed about what I did to her.'"

Sure you are, man. Just stick to the script.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

We love us some Jersey Shore, but this week let us down a little.

Last week's epic throwdown would have been a fitting end to the South Beach venture, wrapping up the sophomore season of the MTV hit at an even 10 episodes.

After that scintillating drama, this week felt like filler.

Still, THG's here as always to break down the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the show in its patented +/- recap below ...

Ron and Sam Pic

Ronnie and Sammi scenes make for a Jersey Snore.

Angelina Pivarnick is gone, and we have to give that a Minus 15. Painful as she can be at times, that spark, that common enemy, was sorely lacking Thursday. Sigh.

JWoww: "I like my boobs." Money does buy nice things. Plus 4.

Totally random, but Plus 13 for last night's Bones. Follow the link to see why. If The Situation actually guest starred like they wanted, we might score it even higher.

Wanting to save a lobster, Snooki and JWoww thought lobsters ate insects and put it in a bowl of fresh water. Public schools, you get an EPIC FAIL. And a Minus 12.

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