Ronnie Magro

Last night on Jersey Shore, Snooki got sprung from the can but soon reverted to her old ways, while Ronnie's doppelganger was discovered at the club and JWoww's relationship problems with Tom Lippolis reached a tipping point.

A relatively tame episode after Snooki's epic bender, but a good one.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its trademark +/- recap below:

WHAT A QUACK: Snooki's dad relays his disappointment.

He's disappointed, but Snooki's dad takes the whole thing pretty well. Guess when your daughter once sold alcohol at a party at your house, and a trashed guest crashed his car and died on the way home, you've seen worse. Minus 12.

When her father goes off on her with the tried and true "I'm not mad, just disappointed" bit, she says "It's not like I killed someone." This time. Plus 8.

His lecture was a real deterrent for at least 12 hours. Minus 4.

Wait, was JWoww wearing a "Free Snooki" tank top? Plus 7.

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A special Monday episode of Jersey Shore certainly did not disappoint if you watch the show looking for hilarious one-liners, drama and drunken debauchery.

Why else would you watch Jersey Shore, come to think of it?

This week was a rare treat for fans, as we got to see Snooki's drunken arrest from this summer play out on TV. It was as epic as reports made it out to be.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show in its patented +/- recap below:

Oh. No. You. Didn't.

Sam's disdain for Snooki is surpassed by disdain for Ronnie. Man they suck. Minus 8. Watching these two argue may be worse than getting waterboarded.

Foreshadowing bigger, better things to come, Snooki chows down on a raw potato for no reason other than the amusement of housemates and fans. Plus 4.

Deena wants Situation. Snooki thinks she knows how she can make that happen ... by getting him into a threesome, then peacing out last minute. Minus 3.

Plus 16 for this gem from Mike, though: "Every guy dreams of having a threesome with two women, obviously. Maybe not with Deena and Snooki, but, um, I was going along with it only because it was a threesome."

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Sammi Giancola has become that which she abhors.

Granted, as a miserable human being and very painful individual, Sammi Giancola abhors a great many things. But Angelina Pivarnick might top the list.

Having turned herself into the house pariah and destined to hitch a ride out of town before long, Sammi has morphed into Ange 2.0. It's sad and wonderful.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

Last week's epic smackdown resumes in the opening moments.

Plus 16 for the resumption of the fight that ended last week's season premiere. Girl pulled out some of JWoww's hair. Not a wise move if you want to live.

The boys go to the gym. Having no friends, Sam tries to go with. Minus 5.

Ronnie and Sammi seem to hate Jersey Shore more than the faction of fans on THG's Facebook who want to GET THIS TRASH OFF THE AIR!!!!!!!!!! Plus 7.

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Brace yourselves for stunning news. Jersey Shore stars Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola and Ronnie "Meathead" Magro are over. You got that? They are DONE!

"It is over," a source close to the couple says, noting that there was "major tension" throughout the show's third season ... who would have guessed.

Another insider noted that the toxic tandem was "barely speaking to each other" by the end, and things were icy recently on Good Morning America.

THE HORROR FROM HAZLET: Sammi's smiling, bit likely cackling inside.

The couple's romance blossomed in season one, and survived many bumps in the road ... some of which comprised Ron bumping and grinding on other girls.

"I'm embarrassed about what I did," Ronnie Magro said of his antics in Miami, which were admittedly bad, although dating Sammi would drive anyone insane.

As the Jersey Shore Season 3 premiere made clearer than ever, her nickname is a total misnomer, as she is probably THE biggest b!tch in reality TV history.

So who's to blame for the recent split? Eh, who the hell cares. All we know is that he's already Tweeting about "Single Ronnie." Let the Ron-Ron Juice flow.

"I'm just so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles and hook up with my roommates." - Snooki

With those words, a new season of MTV's guiltiest, most unsanitary pleasure is upon us. We are back in Seaside Heights, N.J., and it feels like we never left.

As always, THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the "reality" show in its patented +/- recap below:

We know, Sitch. We totally know.

Plus 50 for Deena Nicole Cortese's first 15 minutes at the house, shown above.

Why bother pretending these are normal people, though? Minus 9 for Snook briefing Deena on the roommates, like she hasn't seen every freaking episode.

Sammi on Deena: "I thought she was gonna be hot. I'm all taken aback." Girl, she's friends with Snooki. No offense, but come on. Minus 3 for cluelessness.

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With 2010 drawing to a close, it is with much pride that THG unveils its 10 finalists for its prestigious, Fourth Annual Celebrity of the Year award.

These stars all gave us their best, their worst, their nude pics (sometimes) and their scandals (often). This month, THG honors that greatness.

After the Kardashians kame in at #5, we present an even more useless group as our Celebrity of the Year finalist #4 ... the Jersey Shore cast!

Love 'em or hate 'em, they left their mark in 2010.

We know. They are idiots. You can spare the "what a bunch of losers with no future and bad values" bit, because we f*%king know. Maybe that's the appeal.

You can argue how undeserving they are of fame and fortune all day long, and you won't be wrong. But doesn't that apply to many "celebrities" nowadays?

In terms of raw impact on popular culture, few have had the impact of this gang of guidos and guidettes, who rose from obscurity to household names.

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Jersey Shore star Ronnie Ortiz (also known as Ronnie Ortiz-Magro and Ronnie Magro) has been formally indicted by New Jersey grand jury on an assault charge.

The legal trouble for Ron stems from an episode from the MTV reality series. The title of the episode during with he cold-cocked Stephen Izzo? "One Shot."

Ortiz faces up to five years in state prison for third-degree assault.

DOUCHE-TASTIC: And this was before his new tattoo!

The meathead “purposely or knowingly caused significant bodily injury to Stephen Izzo by striking in the face with a closed fist," the indictment reads.

Izzo is already suing Ortiz, MTV, Jersey Shore producers and the nightclub over the assault, which caused him to lose consciousness. Pretty bad stuff.

Not bad enough for the show to tone down the violence, of course. If these clips from Jersey Shore Season 3 are any indication, it's gonna be a wild winter.

Celebrating his birthday weekend in Vegas in style, Ronnie Magro from Jersey Shore spent some time under the (tattoo) gun and got some new ink.

Ronnie endured a six-hour session at Mario Barth's King Ink for his heaven and hell themed tattoo. Pretty much sums up his relationship with Sam.

Think about it. Long sessions of raw pain, heavenly bliss one minute and a living nightmare the next. He's tryin' to tell you something, Sammi Giancola ...

Ronnie Magro from Jersey Shore is going all out.

For his 25th birthday party this weekend, Ron-Ron has over $11,000 worth of Grey Goose and Dom Perignon ready to flow like water. By the end of the night, he'll be incoherent, hooking up with 2-3 girls and starting fights.

Oh wait, that's every time he goes out ...

It's an event you don't want to miss.

As soon as Ronnie Magro sits down at his VIP table at Jet nightclub in Vegas, he'll get two magnum bottles of Goose ($950 each) and five of Dom ($1,875 each).

It's a slight step up from Ron-Ron Juice for the big night.

That's a grand total of $11,275, but the nightclub is comping it, not to worry. Joining Ron will be girlfriend Sammi Giancola, who will undoubtedly act like a b!tch.

Those hoping for major fireworks or knock-down, drag-out brawls on the Jersey Shore Season 2 reunion special last night came away sorely disappointed.

On some reality shows, the reunion special is the best part. It's when Teresa Giudice flips tables and labels Danielle Staub a prostitution whores. Not here.

These people are all flirting with prostitution whore status, too. Anyway, here's THG's usual +/- recap of last night. Aww yeah, reunion show recap YEAH!!

There's no love lost between Ron and JWoww after The Note.

One could argue this show is depressing, and that its cast is a bunch of losers who reflect badly on our society. Or one could say It's T-shirt tiiiiiime!! Plus 7.

Could host Julissa Bermudez be more robotic? They should have gotten Angelina Pivarnick to host without the cast knowing. We'd pay to see that. Minus 5.

Speaking of Ange, Ronnie had one of the best Jersey Shore quotes last night: "How could you not smush if you get Fossil watch? And it was white!" Plus 9.

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