by Free Britney at . Comments

Last week's Jersey Shore ended with a cliffhanger of sorts. After the realization that Snooki's kooka cuddled with Vinny's junk,she spilled the beans to Jionni.

In this episode, we saw the conclusion of this epic saga, which went about as you'd expect. Meanwhile, a lot of people are really not big fans of Situation.

We've always liked Mike in spite of his significant flaws. But his failure to see that he has such flaws - and thus feel sorry for himself - is beyond baffling.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

HOT Deena Nicole Cortese

Jionni clearly was not happy, but he merely sounded disappointed ... that low tone of voice designed to make the other party feel guilty and like a useless human being. Plus 14 for not screaming and thus making Snooki look sympathetic.

He told Snook that he "can't call her his girlfriend." Same here man. Plus 7.

Minus 11 because clearly they're back together, rendering this pointless.

Elsewhere on the aspiring roommate hookup front, wannabe Snooki Deena really wants her kooka to cuddle up to Pauly D. Minus 5 for not taking a hint.

Minus 20 more for how she says "do sex." NO ONE SAYS THAT.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

This has, without a doubt, been the best season of Jersey Shore yet.

There have been laughs. There have been tears. There have been fights culminating in walls knocking out Mike. There have been gratuitous displays of Snooki's kooka.

Could last night's installment meet these increasingly high standards set by the N.J. crew? Between meeting Vinny's family and another insane melee, it came close.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Ronnie is Shocked

Tension was already high after Snooki's breakup with Jionni and getting it in (or at least hooking up) with Vinny. Then Mike had to make it worse. Effing Mike. Minus 11.

JWoww tells Snooks about Mike's comments about what she supposedly did with him. Snooki flips out, justifiably. Plus 3. Mike then decides to apologize. Just kidding.

Sitch tells all the roommates that he gave his boy Unit Jionni's number so that he can tell him what really went down between the two. Yes, his name is Unit. Plus 4.

Since Mike is really the rat, and hardly for the first time, this prank did not exactly go over well. Minus 16 for lack of tact. Wrong time to punk your supposed friend. Of all people who don't need to stage a fake mole hunt, it's Mike.

Plus 29 for absolute eruption that inevitably followed, however.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

If you thought last week's display of Snooki's kooka would turn the men of Jersey Shore away forever, you thought wrong. Apparently it did the opposite.

Seriously, what is it about this girl? After her antics caused a rift with Jionni (at least temporarily), TWO of the roommates immediately make their move?

Baffling. As is the concept of Deena raising a child. When she missed her period, let's just say all of humanity was hoping for a false alarm. Did we get it?

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Getting. It. In.

Snooki dances away the pain alone at the bar. Fortunately, no straight vagine. Plus 7.

Forced to pretend she has a job, Deena cleans the bathrooms at work. Pretty gross, we have to say. The bathrooms look respectable, however. Plus 4.

JWoww apologizes to Snooki for blowing her off, but soon enough, warns Snooki to not act like Sammi over Jionni. Sage advice from our girl J. Plus 5.

Plus 12 for Sam telling JWoww that she'd prefer to be mocked as "the old Sam" because Sam 2.0 is so much better at relationships. Self-deprecating!

Ronnie and Sammi actually do seem stable lately. Relatively. Plus 5.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The make-out session between Deena and Snooki on Jersey Shore two Thursdays ago made for probably the most absurd episode in the show's four seasons.

Even co-stars Sammi Giancola and Ronnie Magro were stunned. Says Ron of Deena: "Whatever is breathing in front of her ... if it's got a pulse, she likes it."

"Deena is one of my best friends in the house," Sammi added of her bi-curious BFF. "She's just fun... I think she definitely likes making out with everybody."

Two words, people. Straight vagine.

Even more amazing? Snooki's kooka made an appearance the following week as well. Not surprisingly, Jionni caught the first flight out of Florence.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Effing Snooki.

Last night was all about the pint-sized princess, but surprisingly, the car crash that ended last week's episode paled in comparison to what followed.

Jionni came to visit, and even if the producers weren't hinting at this all season, it seemed inevitable that her conduct would mortify him. And it did.

Don't ask us how it would come as a surprise to Jionni, given that he's dating SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE. It's the nature of the beast, dude.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Snooki, Kooka

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Snooki and Deena avoided jail time for the police car mashup and the gang was allowed to stay in Florence. Fist-pump. Plus 3.

Snooki is no longer allowed to drive. Double fist-pump. Plus 4.

JWoww finds out that her boyfriend can't come out to visit. Minus 5, because we like Roger, and we felt bad for Jenni, tears welling on her fake eyelashes.

Snooki decides to use one of the twins to prank Sitch. This is at least the second time the twins have been used as sexual practical joke fodder. Plus 4.

The goal? To bust Mike bringing another girl home. Which happened as predicted ... but somehow only helped him get it in. Call it a Wash all around!

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Last week, Jersey Shore focused on the aftermath of Mike getting his ass kicked by a wall, and on Snooki's ongoing relationship issues with Jionni.

Amazingly, it was Ron who helped both his co-stars work through their issues. Elsewhere, Pauly and Vinny introduced us to the glory that is FPC.

Now that everything is back to normal (sort of), the gang reverted to vintage skanky, drunken, hilarious form at the (Italian) shore last night.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Deena and Snooki Kissing

The roommates/producers decide to take a weekend trip to visit the beaches in Riccione. How on earth did they ever get time off from "work"?? Minus 4.

"It looks like Hawaii, so it's like an island, or maybe on a border of a continent, you know what I mean, so it's like by ocean." - Effing Snooki. Minus 11.

So many suitcases, so few days, so little room atop Italian cars. Plus 2.

The guys met Mike's Italian "twin." Now THERE'S a situation! Plus 2.

At least he's neck brace-free now. Although that was hilarious. Wash.

The girls proceeded to get sloshed and learn how to say vagina in Italian. Plus 3, because that body part was certainly on the minds of two of them.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Fist-pump. Pushups. Chapstick.

We were wondering how Jersey Shore would follow up the most recent episode, in which a wall KO'd The Situation, and well, there you have it.

While not exactly as catchy as GTL, FPC does have a ring to it. Luckily, there were more fist-pumps than actual fists thrown this week, as well.

As always, we recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break down last night's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Gonna Fist-Pump 'Til Our F--kin' Arms Fall Off!

Mike throws a pity party for himself. Only he attends. Minus 5.

Ronnie, of all people, decided to have a one-on-one with Mike, letting him know that he was there for him and that he could open up to him. Sniff. Plus 9.

Snooki argues with Jionni, who doesn't like to hear risque stuff or about her drinking. This from a man who is willingly dating EFFING SNOOKI. Minus 17.

Mr. Therapist Ron tells her to just be herself and that she can't change for a guy. He should talk, but Plus 6 because he's still right and being hella nice.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

We profiled the lovely women of Jersey Shore in a Fashion Face-Off earlier today. JWoww is currently OWNING Deena and Snooki according to THG readers. Stunner.

Now, it's time for three of our favorite juiced-up fist-pumpers to show us what they've got. Vinny Guadagnino, Ronnie Magro and Pauly D were all on hand Sunday.

Noticeably absent? The Situation. Possibly by design, given that the Jersey Shore episode preceding the VMAs showed him getting his head bashed in by a wall.

Anyway, who was the best dressed of the three? Vote below!

Fashion Face-Off!

Which Jersey Shore guy dressed best at the VMAs? Ronnie, Pauly or Vinny? Sitch was AWOL, sadly. Vote for your favorite here! View Poll »

by Free Britney at . Comments

Ronnie and Mike's epic throwdown on Jersey Shore picked up last night in a special Sunday episode before the Video Music Awards. So who won the big fight?

We're gonna say the wall by TKO.

In typical Jersey Shore fashion, the events had to be seen to be believed, and the fallout was uglier than the altercation itself. Never a dull moment ...

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break last night's episode, "And The Wall Won," THG +/- style!

Jersey Shore Cast Season 4 Pic

Not wasting any time, we pick up right where we left off, and the violence ensued when Ron's pent-up anger toward Mike could not be contained. Well, Sitch's head got rammed into the wall ... by Sitch. Seriously. Minus 20.

There's no attempting to explain that one. Vinny, Pauly D, Jenni and Snooki look on half-worried, but mostly just disgusted or stunned. It's hard to say. Plus 5.

Security eventually breaks it up. Plus 4 for saving Sitch and all, but Minus 4 because since when do they intervene when cast members beats on themselves?

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Antics such as Deena's bi-curious robbery are almost par for the course on Jersey Shore. The kind of pent-up rage we saw last night, however? Off the chain!

It was one of the most-hyped events of the entire fourth season, and the culmination of the rage between Ronnie and Mike actually lived up to expectations.

Somewhat disturbingly, but it lived up to it.

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break last night's episode, "Crime and Punishment," THG +/- style!

Drinking on the Job

Comcast episode description: "Ronnie and Sammi return to their old ways." Shiver. Minus 6. Special episode airing Sunday night before the VMAs? Plus 10!

Snooki shut off communication with Mike, saying their "bridge is burned," then took Ron's advice and told Jionni. We think they're good ... for now. Plus 4.

Vinny told the guys that Deena c*ck-blocked him, but that's not entirely true, as Erica didn't really smush Deena and ended up in Vin's bed later, so Minus 5.

There's a difference between a "tag-team" and a "tag-rob." Who knew. Plus 3.

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Ronnie Magro Biography

Sammi and Ronnie Ronnie Magro stars on Jersey Shore on MTV. He is a muscle-bound hothead but a softie at heart. He's currently dating Sammi from the show.... More »
Full Name
Ronnie Magro
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