by Free Britney at . Comments

Two episodes of Jersey Shore? Back to back? Double fist-pump! The Hollywood Gossip has all the action from Seaside Heights recapped below as only it can.

Last night's seventh and eighth episodes of the season took the trashiness to a new level. Below, we award and deduct points as we deem fit. Let's get to it:

As the first hour gets going, Snooki catches the eye of an attractive non-guido, "Cowboy." He seems to take a liking to her for reasons unknown. Minus 3.

Mike is tapping some trashy chick in the hot tub when Snooki and the Cowboy break it up. That's right, Snooki just cock-blocked The Situation. Plus 10.

We thought the trash bag's friend coming to collect her was a dude. Minus 2.

Sammi lets Ronnie out of his cage for once. The Situation decides to stir up trouble by ratting him out for talking to some girl. D!ck move, Mike. Minus 4.

Duck Phone in Effect

Vinny makes a booty call. Duck phone stizzyle.

The Situation doesn't like Vinny mackin' in on his sister. He also doesn't like Vinny ditching her for the boss' girl Tanya. It's a total Catch (Situation?) 22. Plus 6.

Later, Mike pulls a robbery on Vinny's fake-breasted butter face trash bag, leaving V stunned. What a c*ck, but Even, because you gotta respect the execution.

As if Mike hadn't alienated enough people in one night, he refuses to walk JWoww home from the club because he's workin' on the nightly trash bag. Minus 5.

Plus 10 for JWoww pimp-slapping his ass at home.

Pauly D must confront a Stage 5 Clinger in some Israeli girl that is stalking him. Minus 7, because deep down he was into it and this was kind of wasted time.

Plus 3 for the hilarious phone impression of The Situation in an attempt to throw her off the trail, though. This guy's got The Situation quotes down pat.

Situation and Pauly

The Situation was cruisin' for a bruisin' last night.

Bored and determined to become the most hated man in N.J., Mike plants pickles around Snooki's room. Minus only 1, because a pickle sucker might like that.

Ronnie confronts Mike about his crush on Sammi. Mike says it's obvious "Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten." Plus 12.

After some dudes make fun of Snooki (a recurring theme in New Jersey and across the world), Ronnie gets arrested after he takes exception and knocks one of 'em the f*%k out. Minus 15, because the 'roid rage is off the hook with this guy.

TOTAL: +4! SEASON: +46! We wonder if Mike is really just a caricature of Mike, and doing everything he can to act like a jackass. Either way, we'll totally buy it.

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Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola of Jersey Shore are still together - and serious! That's not exactly surprising, as she's had him whipped from day one!

“I care about her deeply and I see it going for a long time,” Magro says, nauseatingly. “I don’t really want to jinx anything [but] I love being with her."

I have a best friend that’s my girlfriend, which is hard to find.”

Seconds Sammi Giancola, a.k.a. Sweetheart: “I’m very happy and content with my life right now. Things are just amazing. I’m just gonna go with it.”

Guess they made up after last week's "Boardwalk Blowups."

Neither of them expected to leave the beach house in Seaside Heights, N.J., in a relationship, but to hear Ronnie Magro tell it, he simply had no choice.

Sammi and Ronnie Photo

Sammi and Ronnie from Jersey Shore.

“Her legs caught my eye,” he says, laughing. “I have the best-looking girl. I’d rather be with Sammi than bring home disasters like Mike and Pauly!”

Sammi says that she doesn’t miss single life either. “Ronnie does a lot of romantic things for me all the time.” she says of her man, also nauseatingly.

“He’s brought me flowers to my house before, he takes me out to really, really nice restaurants, buys me dinner all the time. He’s just a great guy.”

“It’s great. He became my best friend, so we do everything together. The house is messier, but in every other aspect, he makes everything easier.”

They are kind of cute together, we suppose. Well, relatively. At least as much as two members of the Jersey Shore cast could possibly be together.

by Free Britney at . Comments

MTV's Jersey Shore was in effect last night and The Hollywood Gossip was watching when the grenade went off, we assure you. Below is our weekly rundown.

Just for you, we've broken down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode six, awarding and deducting points as we deem fit. Let's get to it:

Vinny does not actually get fired from work. Plus 1, because he didn't deserve to, but we expected drama after he hooked up with Danny's girl last week.

They roommates are annoyed by Sammi and Ronnie doing their thing and ruining group bonding time. Didn't they all just meet on this MTV show? Minus 5.

GTL = Gym, tanning and laundry. That's how The Situation and Pauly D roll. Plus 3. Vinny says he prefers basketball, pool and beach. Amen. Plus 2 more.

The Situation at the club: "It's like the Navy Seals. I get sent out first, do a little reconnaissance, bring girls back." Too bad he never goes MIA. Minus 1.

Vinny's family comes to visit and his mother cooks a big meal for the cast. Approximately 73 Italians rolled with her. We didn't even bat an eye. Plus 3.

Situation

GTL: Gym, tanning, laundry. That's how guidos roll.

Ronnie and Sammi get into one of the lamest fights in the history of reality TV, which is really saying something. She is becoming a real nightmare. Minus 17.

The Situation is doing his thing and meets up with some girl. Standard. Little does he know's bringing "The Grenade" back and a friend, "The Hippo." Plus 8.

Pauly D won't take "The Grenade" on again. Mike then asks Snooki if she'll "take out the trash." Minus 5, because that's a little low, even for this show.

Plus 10 for "The Hippo" charging Snooki, though. Plus 2 more for Pauly D's awesome quote: "Someone needs to teach her how to fight or duck."

Ronnie goes into "prime creep mode." Minus 2 for the overuse of "creepin'" this week, and Minus 2 more for the obvious attempt to rile Sammi up.

Big fight! Synopsis: Ronnie and Sammi are walking. Guy insults them. Sammi insults him back. Ronnie shoves Sammi, telling her stop. She storms off. Ronnie charges guy. Plus 5 because this isn't even the fight that got Ronnie Magro arrested.

TOTAL: +5! SEASON: +42! Such tools. And yet we watch.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Move over, Snooki. You aren't the only Jersey Shore cast member involved in a physical altercation on the new reality show that's become a hit for MTV.

Ronnie Magro, known as the most juiced up of all the guidos but (mostly) a softie at heart, was arrested back in September after getting into a fight.

Snooks is Back

You better believe the cameras were rollin' too.

According to Seaside Heights, N.J., Police Chief Thomas Boyd, Ronnie (who also goes by Ronnie Ortiz-Magro) was arrested Sept. 4 for aggravated assault.

Ronnie told People that the charges were later dismissed, but adds that he did spend a few hours in jail, had a mug shot taken and paid $600 for bail.

However, Mike Mohl, chief of detectives with the Ocean County prosecutor’s office, says the case is with prosecutors and under review for further action.

Either way, Ronnie Magro won't repeat this mistake.

“I definitely felt out of place,” Ronnie Magro of being behind bars. “It’s definitely a place I never want to go back to again. Definitely a lesson learned.”

Still, Magro says he was provoked while walking home from a bar with Snooki and costar Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, who he is currently dating.

Magro says the other person involved was being disrespectful to his friends andshouting “racist” remarks at their African-American security guards.

Footage of the altercation will air in a future Jersey Shore episode, unlike the footage of Brad Ferro knocking Nicole Polizzi out cold in a separate fight.

“I’m really not a person who likes to fight,” Magro said. “He was just being a drunk jerk, saw the camera … [and] I think he chased us down like two blocks or something like that. At that point, you’re like, ‘What am I gonna do?’”

Magro also gets into a separate brawl on this week's episode.

by Free Britney at . Comments

MTV's Jersey Shore returned with an all-new, festive, New Year's Eve episode last night, and lucky for you, The Hollywood Gossip has its weekly rundown.

Below, we break down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode five, "Just Another Day at the Shore," awarding and deducting points.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie cannot believe that while the rest of the gang tends to Snooki, who got knocked out in the previous episode, Mike is still trolling for chicks out on the boardwalk. Or, as Ronnie put it, "The Situation's creepin'." Plus 8.

One last note on the fight. Brad Ferro is a moron who should never have hit Snooki. But when you scream explatives at someone and flick drinks in his face, well, you can't say it was totally unprovoked. We're just saying, Snook. Minus 4.

These guys swear. A lot. Even in situations that don't really require profane language. There was a 20-second stretch of basically one long bleep. Plus 3.

Nice pit stains, JWOWW. Minus 2.

Ronnie, the biggest, most juiced up guido of them all, is a softie at heart and a total mama's boy who just wants his family to like Sam. Who knew?! Plus 4.

Tending to Snooki

THE AFTERMATH: The gang tends to Schnookems.

Snooki doesn't eat lobster because "they're alive when you kill it." Plus 3.

The girls go tanning. At a salon. In the summer. At the beach. Minus 3.

On a warm day, the gang goes on a boat. Plus 2 for conjuring up images of Andy Samberg and T-Pain. Plus 4 more because the boat is named "Forgetaboutit."

Pauly D boasts that his hair is waterproof and windproof. Impressive, but we're calling it Even because no one, not even the great DJ Pauly D, needs that much gel.

JWOWW does not come across well in this episode. A territorial animal who goes out looking to start fights, she belongs on the National Geographic Channel. Minus 7.

Mike, Vinny and Pauly D put the moves on a group of three girls, who Pauly D notes (with a certain element of surprise, but also with respect) are nice girls who actually want to be treated like human beings and not whores. Plus 8.

Really, JWOWW's boyfriend? Flowers? You can do better man. Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Vinny hooking up with his boss' girlfriend. Vinny had done very little this season so far, and this all-out d!ck move should lead to some quality drama. Plus 1 more for Vinny christening Pauly D "the ultimate guido."

TOTAL: +18! SEASON: +37! This was probably our favorite episode so far, because it didn't stick to one overdramatic story. We got to see the guidos and guidettes do their thing and amuse us in many different scenarios. Until next week ...