by Free Britney at . Comments

After last week, The Bachelorette had its work cut out for it.

Not only were the stakes high for Ali with hometown dates looming, but the Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi clash made for riveting, must-see train wreck TV.

The hometown dates themselves last night? They all went well. Like, really well. She picked some good guys (mostly). Awesome for Ali, a little boring for us.

Still, there was plenty to like about the episode, and plenty of hometown drama for us to go over here in THG's patented plus-minus rundown of events ...

Roberto Martinez. Baseball uniform. Shameless, ABC. Plus 7.

Minus 3 for the wasted potential of baseball/dating puns (second base? eh?), but Plus 5 for Ali toeing the line between girly and sporty perfectly. So cute.

Beautiful Ali F.

Who will win the heart of The Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky?

The Bachelorette star? So what. Roberto Sr. wants to make sure Ali is good enough for his son. Plus 4 for him taking it to her, and for her handling it well.

If Roberto is the favorite, Chris Lambton is a close second. Ali Fedotowsky does seem to be a perfect fit in Chris' Cape Cod home. Bay State 4 life!! Plus 6.

Minus 5 for the slight overkill regarding Chris' mom. Yes, it's a big part of who he is, and he's very sincere. It's the producers who overdo this narrative.

How much do you want to swap your own family for Chris'? Plus 8.

The Lambtons are so, so genuine ... which ABC exploits with the bit about the mom "up there helping orchestrate all this"? It's The Bachelorette!! Minus 7.

Kirk DeWindt's date is the most awkward, as it involves two eccentric families and one taxidermist. But Plus 3, because everyone's really nice. It is Wisconsin.

  • Kirk DeWindt Picture
  • Frank Neuschaefer Picture

At elimination time, you knew it was coming down to Kirk or Frank.

The women in Kirk's life are salt-of-the-earth folks who clearly love Ali. The only problem is Kirk himself. Nice as he is, there's just something missing. Minus 2.

"Sometimes love is a complicated thing." - Frank Neuschaefer. Deep. How can this man not be a writer when contemplative musings like this flow so easily? Plus 5.

Frank really needs a new look. Not only are his glasses too small for his face, is that a cardigan over a wife-beater? He's like Mr. Rogers meets The Situation. Minus 7.

On a similar note, the fancy dresses don't work on Ali Fedotowsky. She can totally pull off anything, but more baseball jerseys, fewer pink flowery gowns! Minus 4.

Plus 6 for the grainy, dream-like flashback footage during host-pimp Chris Harrison's fireside chat with Ali ... makes Roberto and Chris look even more dreamy, no?

Again, Frank. Is that a tux and a sweatshirt at the rose ceremony? Minus 3.

If The Bachelorette spoilers are to be believed, we know who's in the final two. If the promos for next week are to be believed, Ali may be paying a second visit to Kirk's father's basement ... to stuff Frank's corpse in that freezer. Plus 8.

TOTAL: +13. SEASON: +143.

Roses: Roberto, Chris, Frank. Out: Kirk.

Who should Ali Fedotowsky choose?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

In The Bachelorette preview below, Ali Fedotowsky travels to meet the families of Kirk DeWindt, Chris Lambton, Roberto Martinez and Frank Neuschaefer.

The results of this coming Monday's hometown dates? Mixed.

"Whoa!" she says, covering her mouth as Kirk's dad leads her down to the basement. "This is my taxidermy work," he boasts. "I bring animals back to life!"

Visiting Chris L. on Cape Cod could be awkward in a different way. "I haven't been able to bring anyone back since my mom passed away," the hunk admits.

As for Frank, he's the nervous one on their Chicago date. "This is a very stressful ordeal. There is a lot at stake, so I want my family's opinion," he says.

See The Bachelorette spoilers for much more on who she supposedly picks, but based on this clip, Roberto Martinez looks like a frontrunner. Take a look ...

Who should Ali choose on The Bachelorette?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Only four men remain on The Bachelorette now. Maybe you noticed.

Last night's episode of the reality TV saga was dominated by a Jake and Vienna interview for the ages, making everything else seem boring and irrelevant.

Follow the above link for an entire recap devoted to that nonsense. Below, we give Ali Fedotowsky and crew their due as her quest for love hits Portugal.

Here's THG's patented plus-minus rundown of the episode ...

Ali and Roberto Martinez take pictures of each other, hear music on the street and start dancing right there. SO romantic and NOT AT ALL staged. Minus 4.

They make nice conversation about Roberto's family, the hunk says really nice things to Ali, they kiss and we think he's the favorite, hands down. Plus 8.

Cute New Bachelorette

Who will The Bachelorette star choose?

Ty and Frank go on the awkward two-on-one date ever. Minus 5, 'cause they just bitch about the format the whole time. You're on The Bachelorette, guys.

Frank lives with his parents. Minus 4, but Ty does him one better by saying he's "tickled" Ali has a plan and a career of her own. Sexist much? Minus 20.

Kirk's date takes place in a big castle, at which he talks about his illness and how it made him reexamine his life. Again with the mold poisoning. Plus 9.

Minus 12, or approximately one point for each use of the word "hometown." Like saying "wrong reasons" ad nauseam, guess they stick to the script.

Fortunately, Chris Lambton not only refers to his town's name (Dennis, Mass.), he knocks it out of the park on his date. Moped skills aside. Plus 13.

Chris and Roberto can do no wrong.

The narrative of Chris' mom's death is a wee bit overblown, but he seems so genuinely sweet about it, how can you not give the guy another Plus 11?

Minus 7 for blurring out Chris' Boston Red Sox shirt.

If you're up on The Bachelorette spoilers, you knew that Ty or Kirk was going home at the rose ceremony, and it was Ty in a bit of a surprise. Plus 5.

Again, see the link above for the full rundown, but for all her flaws, sad Vienna Girardi came off 100 times better than pompous Jake Pavelka. Wash.

How funny was next week's preview, considering how much Frank whines about not getting time with Ali, the alleged girl of his dreams?! Minus 15.

TOTAL: -9. SEASON: +130.

Roses: Chris, Roberto, Frank and Kirk.

Out: Ty.

by Free Britney at . Comments

As soon as Ali Fedotowsky declared in the opening moments that she has never felt better, you knew The Bachelorette was going to be good. But not this good.

Not even the spoilers we've known all season long could have prepared us for the unspeakable awesomeness that was the ABC show's outing of Justin Rego.

According to reports, it wasn't even faked. Rated R was legitimately busted, undone by his two-timing ways in Canada, a scandal dumped in producers' laps.

It was classic.

Obviously, you can't help but wonder what was re-edited, re-shot or flat-out contrived, but does it really matter? This is reality TV entertainment at its best.

The rest of the episode was pretty dull, but that can be forgiven, thanks to the opening sequences? THG breaks down all the action below in its +/- index ...

An Ali Fedotowsky Picture

RATED R FOR REJECTED: Ali sent Justin packing.

In Turkey, venerable Bachelorette host Chris Harrison is the bearer of bad news for Ali Fedotowsky. Plus 9, because as a pimp, you gotta protect your employees.

Ali's friend and former co-star on Jake Pavelka's season, Jessie Sudilis, NEEDS to speak to her now. Minus 3, though, 'cause it takes 50 rings for her to answer.

Somehow, Jessie knows Justin Rego's girlfriend, Jessica Spillas, who just found out Justin was cheating on HER with Kimberly Kerekes. Plus 5. Nice, Rated R.

After a loooong phone call, we learn from Jessie that Justin only went on The Bachelorette for publicity. Minus 7 because we don't buy Ali's "stunned" face.

Plus 3 for the documentary-style filming, (relatively) unedited and without music, and Plus 6 more for Chris busting out an iPhone pic of Justin and Jessica.

Minus 1 for the fact that Jessie is gona be on Bachelor Pad, and Minus 5 for the time-honored, scripted line: "I know he's not there for the right reasons."

Ali calls Justin out publicly, asking if he misses his girlfriend in Canada. Plus 10. He reacts how any upstanding guy would ... he makes a run for it! Plus 17.

Pimpin

TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS: Host-pimp Chris makes the call.

It only gets better as Ali gives chase and Justin escapes, only to come limping back later. He tries to talk his way out of it, but he's a really bad liar. Minus 9.

Justin hobbles off, presumably stranded in a Turkish bazaar. Plus 7. As he does so, messages he left Jessica while he was on the show are played. Plus 12.

Finally, we move on to Ty's date with Ali in a Turkish bathhouse, one of many reasons this was the most homoerotic episode of The Bachelorette ever. Even.

Ty talks about his divorce, Tenley Molzahn style, and we know this is supposed to be a powerful moment and all, but Minus 4, because it just can't compare.

On the group date, Kirk, Chris, Roberto and Craig wrestle random Turkish dudes, then each other, while covered in olive oil. See two sentences above. Plus 6.

Craig prevails, but Chris L. is the true winner with his good looks and hilarious comments. Will he get engaged to Ali (see The Bachelorette spoilers)? Plus 7.

On Craig's date, he falls so hard into the friend zone, his fate is sealed. Minus 4. Contrast that with Frank's date, in which they're all over each other. Plus 4.

Oh, Plus 5 for Ali's belly-dancing outfit. They had to throw us guys something.

TOTAL: +58. SEASON: +159.

Roses: Ty and Frank (earlier dates), Roberto, Chris and Kirk.

Out: Justin (abandoned in Istanbul) and Craig (friend zone).

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Bachelorette certainly had its moments last night, including steamy hot springs action and a 2-on-1 date in which the two most out-there suitors squared off.

But it was the preview for next week that really got fans talking after an episode that was more or less tame. Who has a girlfriend? Is this promo just a gimmick?

We know the answer to both. You'll have to see The Bachelorette spoilers for who it is, and surprisingly, it's not just editing or character assassination by ABC.

This legitimately fell in the producers' laps, catching Ali Fedotowsky completely off guard and explaining her irate reaction as depicted in next week's promo.

Anyway, on to Monday night, and Kasey's krushing farewell. Who's emerging as the favorite(s)? THG breaks down all the action below in its plus-minus index ...

Gorgeous Bachelorette

AWESOME ALI: The guys are falling harder and harder. 

Competing for a date, the guys write poems that incorporate Icelandic. Plus 4 for effort, and in hopes that someone will get Kasey into speech therapy after this.

Turns out Kirk, whose poem was picked, is harboring a deep, dark secret ... he once contracted mold poisoning. Time to make it a one-hour show, ABC. Minus 11.

Kirk gets the rose, though, after this clincher: "As long as you know where I'm coming from, I think you'll know where I'm going." Mold poisoning. Plus 3.

Upon learning he'll be squaring off with Kasey, who's distraught, Justin Rego drops at least 10 wrestling analogies, and wears a sly grin constantly. Plus 8.

Kasey says "guard and protect her heart" about half a dozen times. Minus 5, as we expected more from our new drinking game, but he mostly just whined.

Leading up to the 2-on-1, Frank tries to antagonize/pump up Kasey, while Rated R has his cast removed and puts his crutches in a public trash can. Plus 10.

First, the group date. Caving, mini-horseback riding, lagoon flirting, etc. There were some funny moments but it was too drawn out and little happened. Minus 8.

Kasey

PINNED: Rated R talks a good game, but backed it up as Kasey was kast off.

Plus 5 for the obligatory Ali Fedotowsky bikini shot, though, and Plus 2 more for glimpses of favorites Roberto Martinez and Chris Lambton shirtless for the ladies.

Hot springs + champagne = Ali Fedotowsky hammered! Plus 7, because this might be a little boring for TV, but we're so jealous. Plus 6 more for Iceland. It rules.

The 2-on-1 date begins with a helicopter ride over a volcano. Was this the volcano that blanketed Europe? Unclear, but Plus 5 for not exposing Kirk to ash poisoning.

Maybe it's because he's Canadian and at home in the cold, or that he knows Kasey is desperate and will implode, but there is a coolness about Rated R this week. Plus 3.

Clearly creeped out by the tattoo, Ali puts on a good front, gives Kasey a generic breakup speech and seemingly leaves him on an Icelandic glacier to die. Plus 19.

The more we watch, the more we think Chris Lambton should win. He seems so genuine and cool. But who does Ali choose? Minus 3 ... because we fear the worst.

Let's also talk about Frank for a second. He's emerging as a dark horse candidate, but there's just something about him we don't entirely trust yet ... so, Wash.

In a last ditch effort to salvage a rose, Chris N. says a little known fact about him is that he's "funny" and that his guilty pleasure is "Mexican food." LOL. Minus 10.

TOTAL: +15. SEASON: +101.

Roses: Justin, Kirk and Ty (earlier); Frank, Chris L., Roberto and Craig R.

Out: Kasey (earlier) and Chris N. Who? Yeah ... we don't know either.

by Free Britney at . Comments

What might have been a tame episode of The Bachelorette soon became surprisingly memorable as Kasey made a complete fool of himself - many times over.

He certainly didn't take any of the conventional routes - drunkenness, jackassery, climbing mountains Rated R style - either. No, Kasey was a unique kalamity.

How did Ali Fedotowsky respond to his increasingly odd overtures? Who received roses at the end of the night and which two guys' dreams were krushed forever?

THG breaks down all the action below in its plus-minus index ...

Chris Harrison informs the guys they are headed around the world, starting in New York City. The Bachelorette's budget must really be increasing lately. Plus 4.

Ali Fedotowsky gets an InStyle makeover. Minus only 1, because while complete cross-promotional filler, this did provide us gorgeous shots of Ali Fedotowsky.

Kasey gets a one-on-one date and talks to the cameras about how Ali is a beautiful butterfly, "ready and open for love." It only gets weirder from there. Minus 2.

Kasey Kiss

KRAZY TRAIN: Kasey puts the unintentionally hilarious moves on Ali. 

Minus 37, one point for each time he said he's there to "protect and guard" her heart. 1. Who even talks like that? 2. This will make a fun drinking game next week!

During their private date in the museum, Kasey gets all intense about their love and continues the most god-awful singing imaginable. Plus 10 for Ali's stunned look.

Plus 13 more for Ali calling him out on this crap. She says he's not himself. Whether that's true or not, he's not impressing her and at least she didn't placate him.

How can he not get a rose and still stick around for the rose ceremony, though? Isn't the whole point that it's make or break? Minus 4 for making up rules on the fly.

Roberto, Jesse, Craig, Kirk, Jonathan, Frank and Ty head to Times Square for a VIP Broadway experience and are forced to pretend they really like theater. Plus 8.

Lauding Roberto's courage and truth, the producer chooses him for a date with Ali, then says they're going to be in The Lion King. Minus 5. A nice dinner would do.

Plus 11 for the gratuitous, half-nude shots of Ali and Roberto Martinez, especially since the other suckers have to sit and watch a play and Roberto workin' it.

In a driving rain, Ali reassures Frank about her feelings for him and they make out. Frank says he wants whatever she has. Barf, but Minus only 3 since we like Frank.

A-Fed Pic

BIG LEAGUER: Roberto rose to the occasion on Broadway's biggest stage.

Jonathan the Weatherman freaks out more and more with each letdown. It's like a train wreck in slow motion, only the train has had 10 cups of coffee. Minus 6.

Weatherman has a serious cow when Kirk swoops in and escorts an under the weather Ali to bed. Plus 5 for Kirk seizing the moment and Plus 2 for Jonathan tweaking.

Sick Ali invites Chris Lambton to her suite instead of going out, which is even better for getting to know each other. Plus 9 for Chris L. making lemonade (figuratively).

The producers are overplaying the situation with his mom a bit to make Chris look all sympathetic, but it is important, and he does seem genuine and sweet, so Wash.

The guys notice Kasey is "missing." That's because he's at a tattoo parlor. Getting a shield guarding a heart. Plus 17, 'cause that is the lamest, most insane move ever.

Kasey tells his competitors the bandage on his wrist is from a burn. Justin Rego of all people is sure he's lying (see Bachelorette spoilers for definition of irony). Plus 9.

Finally kalled out, Kasey reveals his tattoo, which he says is courageous or something. Frank counters that it "doesn't prove anything except that you're nuts." Plus 7.

TOTAL: +36. SEASON: +86.

Roses: Chris L. (earlier); Kirk, Frank, Craig, Chris N., Roberto, Justin, Ty and Kasey.

Out: Jesse and Jonathan. Poor Weatherman.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Ali Fedotowsky continued to narrow the field on The Bachelorette last night, with 11 roses doled out and three dudes sent packing. It was mostly predictable stuff.

Justin Rego, a.k.a. Rated R, was anything but, however. He's getting railroaded a la Vienna Girardi and/or he's just a deceitful pig, depending on who you ask.

Either way, this guy is quickly becoming one of the best Bachelor villains in years. When Rated R draws Vienna comparisons from Ali herself, we're speechless.

According to The Bachelorette spoilers, he's not only there "for the wrong reasons," but was dating two other women, making his tearful BS all the more awesome.

THG breaks down all the action below in its plus-minus index ...

Cue obligatory helicopter ride and bring-them-closer-through-adversity stunt: Ali and Roberto must walk a tightrope, literally, to reach their dinner date. Minus 5.

Not even that cliched cheesiness can dampen the appeal of Roberto Martinez, however. He's hot, speaks like 31 languages and played pro baseball. Gulp. Plus 12.

Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez

RIDE OF HER LIFE: Will Roberto Martinez take Ali on just that?

Roberto asks Ali Fedotowsky if she knows how cute she is. Barf, but Plus 2.

On the group date, the guys film a music video for Barenaked Ladies. We're fans, but Minus 6 because ABC is really scraping the bottom cross-promotional stuff.

Each guy gets a scene with Ali and the true colors come out. Jonathan crumbles under pressure, Kirk pretty much mauls her and Frank gets mad jealous. Plus 3.

Kirk gets the rose, but weatherman makes the video. Minus 4.

Chris Lambton talks about the tattoo across his heart, which is his late mom's signature. A little weird, but a sweet sentiment from an overall cool guy, so Plus 9.

The video shoot, while supremely lame, provided us with gratuitous Ali bikini, tub, pool and lingerie action, a point that mustn't be overlooked (see gallery). Plus 10.

  • Ali in Bed
  • Getting Rubbed Down
  • In the Swimming Pool
  • Flirting with Fedotowsky
  • Beach Babe Ali
  • Ali Fedotowsky in Lingerie

SEX APPEAL: The Bachelorette cranks it up to 11. Or at least like 7.5.

Now for the highlight of the night: Miffed by his lack of alone time with Ali, Rated R hobbles two miles on crutches to her place. Supposedly. We doubt it. Minus 9.

You have to give the producers credit for orchestrating that, though. Him limping up during Ali's talking head and her feigning surprise is worth a Plus 8 in itself.

Plus 13 more for Rated R's sob story about his absentee dad and his pleas for the guys to accept him, even after he blatantly (and happily) d!cked over Hunter.

Speaking of Hunter, his date went nowhere due to his utter lack of game. No rose for you. Minus only 2, because while a waste of time, Ali got the message.

Running out of time, Steve sets up a picnic, but can't open the champagne. Ali wonders why his hand doesn't work; Steve says it's numb. Why, Steve?! Minus 5.

Chris L. and Ali bond over flip cup. He's totally winning. Plus 3.

Ali inadvertently outs Justin Rego to Roberto, who narcs on him to the guys, and all hell breaks loose. But they're just pissed they didn't think of it, so Wash.

TOTAL: +29. SEASON: +50.

Roses: Kirk and Roberto (earlier); Chris L., Jesse, Chris N., Ty, Kasey, Craig, Frank, Jonathan and ... Justin. After all that, Rated R lives to fight another week!

Out: Hunter (earlier); John and Steve.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Tonight on The Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowsky must walk the tightrope with a suitor ... literally. To reach their dinner date, they must embark on this dangerous quest.

The adventure will bring them closer together and so on and so forth. This is a Bachelor staple. We're just happy the guy is Roberto Martinez. He seems decent.

Meanwhile, The Bachelorette spoilers predicted, the guys begin to grow suspicious of Justin Rego, a.k.a. Rated R, and his motivation for coming on the program.

Perhaps the biggest fireworks of all, however, come as Ali and nine of the guys film scenes for a new Barenaked Ladies video. Yes, those guys are still around.

When Ali and Kirk blur the line between acting and real feelings during a very hot scene, one of her early favorites starts to get jealous. This is gonna be good.

Here's a sneak peek of tonight's The Bachelorette ...

Roberto Martinez Biography

Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez Roberto Martinez, a contestant on The Bachelorette's sixth season, is an insurance agent originally from Tampa, Fla., currently residing... More »
Birthplace
Tampa, Florida
Full Name
Roberto Martinez
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