by Hilton Hater at

Does Robert Pattinson have another hit on his hands with Water for Elephants?

Perhaps at the box office, but not according to a majority of movie critics around the country. Take a look at various excerpts from a sampling of publications that aren't exactly in love with the Twilight star's new film, which opens on April 22...

With Fake Bella

Even nonreaders of the book can figure out what happens next. It's all in the telling. Sara Gruen provided grit and pungent detail. The movie settles for gloss. - Rolling Stone

The script by Richard LaGravenese, who is well-versed in adapting popular fiction such as Bridges of Madison County, lacks the sparkle of his best work. - USA Today

The love triangle takes a familiar shape and the dialogue tends toward the banal. Rarely has running away to join the circus looked so dull. - Boxoffice Magazine

The problem isn't just miscasting or the cheesiness of the material. It's Pattinson's increasingly predictable, dour persona. - Salon dot com

Short-circuits the novel's quirky charms and period atmosphere by its squeamish attitude toward gritty circus life and smothers the drama under James Newton Howard's insufferable wall-to-wall musical soup. - The New York Times

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by Hilton Hater at

Well, there's always Eclipse.

While Robert Pattinson fans are excited over that movie's first official trailer, we have some sobering news: movie critics have responded harshly to the actor's first starring role as an actual human being.

Most of the Remember Me reviews are more critical of the script and the story than of the performances by Pattinson and Emilie de Ravin, but the following excerpts can't be what anyone associated with the film wishes to hear:

A small, dense chamber study of unhappy people looking for hope in the darkness, often literally. - Houston Chronicle

I hate the ending. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it more than Kim Basinger hates Alec Baldwin. I hate it more than Garfield hates Mondays.  - Wafflemovies.com

In Remember Me love means never having to say you’re sorry, particularly to the audience. - The New York Times

Remember Me represents Robert Pattinson's attempt to prove he can do more than sparkle like a faux vampire, but the case he presents is not convincing. - ReelViews

If Remember Me is remembered for anything at all, other than being yet another Robert Pattinson vehicle, it will be for its over-the-top ending, which ranks high amongst the most shameless jerkers of tears ever unleashed upon lachrymose teens.  - The Toronto Star

There's no shame in exploring tragedy through art. But exploiting it to make your very ordinary movie feel more important? That's another story. - The New York Daily News

Mini-spoiler warning: The movie is set in 2001, soon after 9/11. It sounds like many critics take exception to the film's depiction and possible manipulation of that tragic event in American history.

Remember Me opens today. Will you go see it this weekend? If so, write in and share your views with the THG world.

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