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Rachel Uchitel, Tiger Woods' famous mistress, has scored herself a new boyfriend.

Not only that, but they're already living together! Matt Hahn, a 25-year-old insurance underwriter and former Penn State football standout, is totally "the best thing that's happened to me in as long as I can remember," Uchitel said.

At least since her affairs with Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz.

  • Matt Hahn Picture
  • Matt Hahn and Rachel Uchitel

Amazingly, Matt Hahn is not a celebrity OR married to someone else!

Rachel Uchitel recently embarked upon a new career as a private investigator in NYC, where she owns the $2 million Park Avenue apartment she shares with Hahn.

Tiger bought them a nice love nest, it sounds like.

[Photos: Pacific Coast News]

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Rachel Uchitel became infamous in 2009-2010 because, well, the woman is a serial, professional mistress. But she's focused on a new career now.

One which still involves sneaking around, interestingly.

Rachel Uchitel Sunglasses Photo

In an ironic twist, the woman whose clandestine relationships with David Boreanaz and Tiger Woods gained national attention wants to be a P.I.

We can't believe it either, Tiges.

“I decided to go back to school and get my private investigation license! I’ve learned to shoot a weapon. I had to Taser someone,” Uchitel told Fox 411.

“I even had to get pepper sprayed, so I know what the effects are."

Somewhere, Elin Nordegren wishes she could've done the honors.

"I’ve already gone under cover," says the aspiring investigator. "In court, we actually do real stuff for the investigator who’s teaching the class."

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Will Rachel Uchitel and Tiger Woods reunite at Donald Trump's New Year's bash next weekend? Stranger things have happened ... well, presumably.

The world's top golfer and his top mistress have both been invited to The Donald's annual New Year's Eve bash at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.

Rachel and Friend

If Trump is serious about running for president, he could certainly show his powers of unification and bringing different parties together with this ...

THE UNITER: Trump would love to have Tigitel on hand.

As for the oft-maligned Woods, with whom he is acquainted, Donald says "I did invite him. I'm the only guy who has tried to defend him this year."

Rachel Uchitel, as usual, is more complicated. She was reportedly on board for the cast of Celebrity Apprentice this year until DT pulled the plug.

As far as New Year's, has a "blind date" with a guy in the New York fashion industry whom Donald invited, and Rachel is coming as the plus one.

Donald says there's no hard feelings and that "she's absolutely welcome." No word if he also plans on inviting Rex Ryan's wife as a publicity stunt.

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A new season of VH1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and the romantic life of former Tiger Woods mistress Rachel Uchitel is the center of attention.

With no usage of the words "Tiger" or "Woods" of course.

Uchitel told Dr. Drew she bypasses the whole dating process for "intense, overnight" connections, he called it "love addiction" and encourages her to chill.

Rachel said men she pursues are often birds of the same feather - as in married, rich and famous - and she's "too much for them to handle." Rowr!

Here's an interview with Uchitel regarding her Rehab stint ...

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In a rare TV interview, Tiger Woods' famed mistress Rachel Uchitel spoke on the Today Show about her addiction to love and how that led her astray.

Appearing alongside her Celebrity Rehab mentor, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Rache promoted her stint on the VH1 program and explained why she went on it.

"I knew that I needed help," Uchitel, who claims she went on the program to deal with her love addiction. "And I wanted to get it from Dr. Drew."

Love Addict

Uchitel she needs help ... and had some lip injections.

The 35-year-old all-pro mistress also said she was being treated for addiction to Ambien and other prescribtion medications, which she did not identify.

Dr. Dew said Rachel Uchitel's condition is partly triggered by traumatic events in her past, such as the premature deaths of her father and fiance Andy.

She was set to get married before he perished in the 9/11 attacks.

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Rachel Uchitel had affairs with Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz, but the professional mistress swears that the public has a completely incorrect perception of her.

Pretty sure we do not, but whatever helps you sleep, Rache.

"I am different than the cartoon character that people have made me out to be," she tells E! News. "I am just a normal girl. Like anybody you would know." LOL.

Hot Rachel Uchitel Picture

Rachel Uchitel: The skanky, professional mistress next door.

"I am absolutely not the wicked witch people have made me out to be," she says. "It's hurtful. I am human. It's a hurtful thing to have people talk about you. There are a lot of things that I think people don't know because nobody has ever asked."

*Sniff* Anybody got a tissue?

Promoting her upcoming appearance on Celebrity Rehab, the former event planner, who was reportedly treated for "love addiction" on the reality show, wouldn't talk about Tiger Woods of course, since he paid her $10M to shut her yap.

David Boreanaz, however? Fair game!

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We hadn't heard from Rachel Uchitel until this  strange story surfaced. Maybe she's jealous of Jasmine Waltz ascending to professional mistress status?

According to reports, Uchitel is claiming that a high-profile ex-lover beat her up while the couple was on a romantic holiday in Bora Bora in May 2009.

Comfy at Home

No, not Tiger Woods or Bones star David Boreanaz. Most likely.

Rachel Uchitel is back in the news ... for reasons sort of unknown.

The mistress who sparked the Tiger car crash told a friend, "We were on vacation when he flew into a jealous rage, hit me and tried to strangle me."

Whoever he is "locked her in their bungalow for two days without clothes or a way to get out," the friend of Rachel Uchitel alleges, according to Radar.

The celebrity gossip site claims it knows the identity of the man at the center of the allegations, but has chosen not reveal his identity at this time.

Forgive us for being a little skeptical.

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Yesterday, we reported that Tiger Woods put the kibosh on Rachel Uchitel's potential Playboy spread, with the threat of losing her settlement from him forcing her to bow out. Well, the mag supposedly asked again, and this time Rache nixed it.

Why, you ask?

Rachel Uchitel in a Bikini

"Rachel had started to date a new man, and she was embarrassed to go ahead with the spread, because she was afraid that it would upset him," says a source.

Umm, is this mystery dude not dating Rachel Uchitel? A woman only rich and famous because of boning Tiger Woods and David Boreanaz? Playboy would bug him?

Apparently. "The magazine came back to Rachel with another generous offer to appear in Playboy," said a source close to the pilgrim of celebrity mistresses.

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Rachel Uchitel was all set to pose for Playboy until Tiger Woods pulled the plug on the deal, according to reports. Hey, she's still getting paid for it in a way.

Here's how it supposedly went down: Playboy wanted to feature the pilgrim of Tiger Woods mistresses on the cover, with a direct mention of the golf great.

Publishers even floated the idea of Rachel Uchitel nude alongside a tiger cub. The "VIP hostess" agreed to this, and was to be paid upwards of $300,000.

Tiger Woods' legal team was far from pleased with this concept.

"It put Rachel in significant danger of losing the millions of dollars Tiger paid her," a source said. "They refused to give [Uchitel] complete control of the cover so that she could make sure Tiger wasn't mentioned" as per their settlement.

She chose not to push it and risk her $10M settlement from Tiger. Probably wise.

Had Uchitel gone forward with the shoot, she was to appear "totally naked except her pubic area," the source added, noting that the would have "shown bare breasts and backside nudity" while "completely nude" in some situations.

Alas, like an Elin Nordegren tell-all, 't not to be. Damn confidentiality agreements.

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Now that Tiger Woods has officially divorced Elin Nordegren, his most famous mistress has taken notice and reportedly hopes to reconcile with the golfer.

Yes, we're serious ... but can you even imagine?

Rachel Uchitel told a very close friend - someone TMZ also knows - that with Tiger single, she wants him back and would "give up everything" to get him.

Could the world handle a Tiger Woods-Rachel Uchitel reunion?

The friend quotes her as saying: "I feel horrible for him. He loved her. But he was in love with me. I hope he remembers that was real, and reaches out to me." Rachel then reiterated "I'd give up everything to be with him again."

Everything including the $10 million confidentiality agreement?

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Rachel Uchitel Biography

Rachel Uchitel Rachel Uchitel works in the VIP department of the NYC club scene. As a result, she meets many celebrities. One of them was Bones star... More »
Full Name
Rachel Uchitel
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