Rachel Uchitel works in the VIP department of the NYC club scene. As a result, she meets many celebrities. One of them was Bones star...

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We all know that text messages can sometimes be hilarious. Like when they're sent by mom.

Or if the the characters on Game of Thrones ever learned how to text.

But sometimes it's best to just put your phone away and think twice - nay, three times! - before picking it back up and hitting Send.

Like when you're slamming a famous ex-girlfriend and her untalented lady parts. Or when you're a married professional golfer and you wanna bang a porn star. Or when your name is Anthony Weiner.

Below, THG presents 13 of the most well-known celebrity text message scandals of all-time, with far too many involving penis photos and one too many involving a bloodied, beaten Rihanna:

Justin Bieber vs. Selena Gomez
They've gotten back together and broken up again since, but in January 2014, Justin Bieber allgedly texted Selena Gomez to keep her "talentless [lady part]" away from him.

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Rachel Uchitel, formerly Tiger Woods' favorite hole (so to speak) is now dating MLB star Bret Boone ... and will be appearing on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker.

So surprising, and yet so totally not at the same time.

The former Seattle Mariners second baseman, 44, has four children and is separated from his wife. Believe it or not, they separated before he met her.

He hit .266 with 252 dingers and three all-star appearances in 14 big league seasons before rounding third base with Uchitel (we have to assume) this year.

In 2009, Uchitel played an instrumental role in breaking up Woods' marriage to Elin Nordegren. Prior to that, she had an affair with Bones star David Boreanaz.

She's recently divorced herself, from Matt Hahn.

Uchitel gave birth to their first child in May 2012; Hahn and Rachel split soon after and have battled for custody. Meanwhile, she and Boone are "serious."

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Rachel Uchitel is fighting back at estranged husband Matt Hahn, who cited "cruel and inhumane treatment" when he filed for divorce from her this week.

Rachel Uchitel and Matt Hahn

She says his claims are defamatory ... yes, to the extent that anyone can defame a gal like Rachel Uchitel, she says that's what's happening here.

For her part, Rachel says she called the police on him last month after they got into a heated argument that ended with Matt calling her hurtful names.

Uchitel admits "striking back with a few slaps," according to TMZ.

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Rachel Uchitel and Matt Hahn are getting divorced.

Tiger Woods' #1 mistress is already in a custody fight, too, with Matt seeking custody of their one-year-old daughter - plus spousal and child support.

Rachel Uchitel and Matt Hahn Photo

On June 10, Matt Hahn officially filed to divorce Rachel Uchitel, who he married a year and a half ago, citing “cruel and inhuman treatment" on her part.

He wrote in his court declaration:

"The defendant [Rachel] so endangers the physical or mental well being of the plaintiff as renders it unsafe or improper for the plaintiff to cohabit with the defendant.”

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Rachel Uchitel is single again!

Tiger Woods' #1 mistress is getting divorced after her husband, Matt Hahn, filed the paperwork earlier today. Matt's reason? "Cruel and inhumane treatment."

Seriously. He put that.

Matt Hahn Photo

The troubled couple frequently engaged in explosive, verbal arguments; Matt alleges that Rachel Uchitel slapped him after he repeatedly called her names. 

There's more. Rachel called 911 on Matt on May 16 after a particularly nasty verbal argument, asking officials for help getting him out of the house.

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Who can ever forget Thanksgiving 2009.

On November 25 three years ago, The National Enquirer reported that Tiger Woods was having a secret, torrid affair with NYC nightclub manager Rachel Uchitel.

  • Hot Rachel Uchitel Picture
  • Tiger Woods, Goatee
  • Elin Woods Bikini Picture

Then, around 2:30 am on November 27, Woods peeled out of his home in his Cadillac SUV and crashed into a fire hydrant, a tree, and some hedges on his street.

He was treated for minor injuries and ticketed for careless driving. In a statement, he called it a "private matter" and credited his wife for helping him out of the car.

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Rachel Uchitel and her vagina are back in the news, but for reasons other than her publicized affair with Tiger Woods.

The well-known mistress gave birth last night to a little girl, her husband's Facebook page confirms, at Matt Hahn has announced his daughter is named Wyatt Lilly and she weighs in at seven pounds, one ounce.

Matt Hahn Photo

Uchitel took full advantage of her pregnant state over the course of her third trimester, posing in in a sheet and without a shirt on for photographer Nancy Alcott.

She and Hahn got hitched in October, about two years after her name surfaced as the mistress that initially got Woods into trouble with his wife and led to that golfer's precipitous downfall on a personal and professional scale.

But, hey, we wish the new family the best of luck!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Rachel Uchitel might be the most famous "other woman" of all time.

At least in modern celebrity gossip times. That much is unquestioned.

She was the first of Tiger Woods' mistresses to be revealed, but before that, was linked to Bones' David Boreanaz. Both rich stars were married with kids at the time, something that isn't lost on the 37-year-old Uchitel.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," she tells Celebrity Baby Scoop.

Pregnant Rachel Uchitel Photo

With her first child due on this week, the reality TV star says it's time to "forgive" and "move on." While the infamous Uchitel admits "my name precedes me," Rachel is trying to heal the past and "have some acceptance with myself."

Rachel is opening up about her "great" pregnancy, excitement about motherhood and hopes for a brighter future with husband Matt Hahn and their baby girl.

"I've moved on and I hope other people will too and see that I am doing my best to try and have a normal life," Rachel Uchitel shares with the site.

Excerpts from her interview below:

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Rachel Uchitel is channeling her inner Jessica Simpson, sort of

The former Tiger Woods mistress showed off her growing baby bump in a beautiful, classy lace g-string for an artistic photo shoot with Nancy Alcott.

In other words, she's wearing a thong and nothing else.

Uchitel preg

The 37-year-old Rachel Uchitel, who's due next week, is married to Penn State football player Matt Hahn. They wed last year before she got pregnant.

Uchitel, whose affair with Tiger, and before that Bones' David Boreanaz - both men were married with children at the time - is expecting a little girl.

Pray for that little girl.

[Photo: Nancy Alcott Photography]

by Free Britney at . Comments

Rachel Uchitel, who confirmed she's expecting with an oh-so-cute Tweet earlier this week, is having a girl. That ought to make for some interesting conversations someday when the younger Uchitel decides to Google mom.

She and husband Matt Hahn are very excited about the female bundle of joy and are already stocking up preparing for her arrival. Rache is five months along.

Rache Uchitel

It was TMZ who first scooped the sex of the baby. Don't ask us how, but those guys are never wrong. Maybe they just got ahold of the wedding registry.

Uchitel, whose affair with Tiger Woods, and before that David Boreanaz - both men were married with children at the time - put her on the map, is due in April.

Congratulations and good luck to Matt Hahn - you'll need it B!

[Photo: WENN.com]

Rachel Uchitel Biography

Rachel Uchitel Rachel Uchitel works in the VIP department of the NYC club scene. As a result, she meets many celebrities. One of them was Bones star... More »
Full Name
Rachel Uchitel
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