by Free Britney at . Comments

Until yesterday, we knew Alexa Ray Joel as the daughter of prolific musician Billy Joel, a terrific singer in her own right, and an all-around nice, grounded person.

The product of Joel's past marriage to Christie Brinkley, the 21-year-old served as maid of honor in Joel's recent marriage to former Top Chef host Katie Lee Joel.

Perez Hilton Getting Punched

Now she's serving Perez Hilton with a message:

Back off.

Alexa Ray Joel was thrust into the spotlight Sunday when she responded to a picture of her posted on the exponentially overrated, unfunny site, PerezHilton.com.

Venting via her MySpace page, Alexa Ray called Perez Hilton "quite dangerous," and was sickened to see commenters "picking apart the appearance" of her "8 year-old sister."

Yesterday, Alexa Ray clarified her opinion for Us Weekly:

"To paraphrase my father, he always said: 'don't take crap from anybody.' I've had a lot of people advise me in this industry to get a thicker skin and turn a blind eye to the vicious trends of the tabloid publications and celebrity gossip sites, and their dangerous effects on young women, and society in general. But if I were to follow their advice, and do nothing, I feel I would only be perpetuating something which I believe to be fundamentally wrong. I stand by my original posting."

Interesting guidance. To paraphrase Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler, MySpace is the place to vent all of your frustrations about marriage, love, life, etc.

Alexa, who Perez called "no supermodel," came to the defense of herself and also her half-sister, Brinkley's daughter with her latest estranged ex, Peter Cook, who was criticized by commenters on the a-hole's posting.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Wow. Marilyn Manson would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

We would probably do the same, if we the hot exotic dancer we were divorcing was seen cozying up to the likes of unfunny, disgusting dirt balls like Perez Hilton.

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Perez Hilton

Despite being exponentially over-hyped and unworthy of one-tenth of the publicity he receives, the quote unquote celebrity gossip gangsta has become a star in his own right, so we're never that shocked to see him around Hollywood hotties like Dita Von Teese.

That doesn't mean he's not gross, though. Comb your hair, you louse-ridden waste. Thanks a lot, Perez. Now we have this image burned into our minds instead of Dita Von Teese nude. Not what we were looking for when we came to work today.

Just stay away from Evan Rachel Wood, okay, Perez? That's all we ask. We can't take any more of this abuse... and Marilyn Manson might actually kill you.

by Mischalova at . Comments

It may seem a bit early, but Time magazine is already gathering votes for its 100 Most Influential People of the Year issue.

And, no, Spencer Pratt is not on the list.

Perez Hilton Body

But Stephen Colbert is. The humorous talk show host is current leading reader voting. It's not hard to see why. Aside from having an ice cream flavor named after him, the guy is putting people On Notice left and right. Watch out.

Sadly, no one on The Hollywood Gossip staff will be in the issue. Not this year, at least. But a fellow celebrity gossip monger is currently listed in the top 20. We can't figure out the reason, but Time is under the impression that Perez Hilton influences people. Maybe. Stupid people, that is.

Meanwhile, Sanjaya Malakar is ranked above Barack Obama. This could be the most depressing news we find all day.

As we said, though, it's early.

A lot can change as 2007 progresses. But you can bet Sacha Baron Cohen will be on there no matter what. Borat affects us on a daily basis.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Yes, you read that right. Forget Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney and their annual battle for Sexiest Man Alive honors. This battle is for the complete opposite (dis)honor.

This list, compiled by the amazing Boston Phoenix, is chock full of irritating smirks, bad haircuts, possible murders and some seriously ugly mugs. Yup, the Phoenix list of The 100 Unsexiest Men Alive has it all, and we've got the highlights...

Stupid Speidi

100. Tom Cruise. The heat that Tom Cruise emitted early in his career has long evaporated, leaving only a smirking corpse in its wake. Cruise struts around like a smaller, yappy version of Arnold Schwarzenegger as The Terminator, but comes off creepier, given his campaign to impregnate and wed enslave hot actresses.

92. Osama bin Laden. Here's a man that could use a makeover. Note to Osama: camouflage jackets have been out since the millennium. Sure, there's not a surplus of hip outlets â€" or even dry cleaners â€" in the caves of Afghanistan. But come on.

87. Joe Simpson. The former Baptist minister relentlessly pimps his daughters (Ashlee and what's-her-name) to MTV, John Mayer and Pete Wentz, then makes ourskin crawl by ogling his offspring's endowments. Gnarly.

79. Joe Francis. Skeezy creator of Girls Gone Wild stuck it to Paris Hilton and Tara Reid. If doing that disease-ridden duo wasn't enough to warrant his place on this list, he's headed to jail on contempt-of-court charges.

56. Kim Jong-Il. Besides an uncanny resemblance to Tom Cruise, the deranged North Korean demigod is a porn connoisseur, binge drinker and womanizer. Oh, and a mass murderer with nukes.

45. The Duke Lacrosse Team
. You go to Duke. You play lacrosse. Yet your social life is so barren that you've got to rent a couple of cut-rate strippers? You dudes are guilty... of having no game whatsoever.

35. Kevin Federline. Would've placed even higher had Britney Spears not gone off the deep end and made FedEx look relatively stable by comparison.

33. Spencer Pratt. This obnoxious star of the MTV "documentary" series The Hills (left) has greasy hair, a veiny neck and forehead, circa 1994 gold chains and a cast-iron jaw. Yet he still manages to get Playboy playmates' numbers (while straight up playing Heidi Montag and making Lauren Conrad's life a living hell). Spencer Pratt, we loathe thee.

30. Howie Mandel. Few things are less sexy than obsessive-compulsive disorder and fear of touching others. That spells bad news for the freaky host of Deal or No Deal. No deal, Howie Mandel. No deal.

28. Dustin Diamond. Deviant, cretinous former child star who scammed his fans by selling shirts to help him avoid foreclosure â€" there were no such proceedings against him. Then there was the Dustin Diamond sex tape in which Screech gave two skanks the Dirty Sanchez.

27. Mr. Blackwell. His relevance is on life-support, but he nonetheless makes the news every year with his embarrassing list of the best- and worst-dressed celebrity fashion offenders.

25. O.J. Simpson. We're not even gonna go there.

23. Pete Doherty. "Heroin chic" is predicated on being able to do lots and lots of drugs without looking like a skid-row pin cushion. Somehow Pete Doherty (below) didn't get the memo. By association, he made coked-up gal-pal Kate Moss unsexy, too, for which men the world over will curse him forever.

20. Jared Fogle. Ubiquity and over-exposure has turned a merely annoying ex-fatty Subway pitchman into a serious pain in the ass.

18. Mel Gibson. Hateful director with massive alcohol problem.

11. Perez Hilton. Exponentially overhyped celebrity gossip blogger whose sense of entitlement far outweighs his contribution to society. Oh yeah, Perez Hilton is also gross.

7. Sanjaya Malakar. The class clown of American Idol is operating under the delusion that he's the class stud. Shyamali Malakar, on the other hand...

6. Don Imus. Long before Don Imus (below, left) got the ax for calling the Rutgers womens' basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed hos," this talk-show troll established himself as one of the ugliest faces in an industry that prizes them.

3. Howard K. Stern. We understood the zillion-year-old billionaire: Anna Nicole Smith would sleep with anything for money. But her dalliance with this glassy-eyed salamander of a man (above, right) forced Americans to lower her standards: she'd screw anything with... kidneys? At least she was smart enough not to have a baby with him.

1. Donald Trump. It's not the greed, the preposterous comb-over, or the public bullying that turns us off any more: it's the pursed lips and the scrunched stare. Actually, scratch that: it's still the hair, the greed, and the bullying.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Perez Hilton writes about celebrities on his blog, supplementing seriously lame jokes with crude illustrations scrawled on copyrighted photos he doesn't pay for or cite.

So naturally, his birthday party this weekend was, like, a big deal.

Perez Hilton Picture

Not as big as Melanie Brown. But big.

The quote-unquote Gossip Gangsta, who gets sued a lot, actually drew some pretty big stars for his b-day bash, held at the SoCal hotspot, The Roxy.

He celebrated the 29th anniversary of him not dying wth the likes of Paris Hilton, John Stamos (really), buddies Amy Winehouse, Kelly Osbourne and Dita Von Teese Friday.

Fortunately (for them), other stars had bigger and better plans.

Mark McGrath, Cheryl Burke and fellow Dancing With the Stars phenom Joey Fatone opted to party at Hyde, while the luscious Lindsay Lohan was spotted leaving Teddy's blasting Nelly Furtado's "Give it to Me."

We can only assume that "Buttons" (by the Pussycat Dolls) and "I Wanna F*%k You" (Akon feat. Snoop Dogg) are also on Lindsay Lohan's iPod playlist.

Anyway, happy birthday Perez, you tool. For what it's worth, we were a lot more jazzed about Kevin Federline's birthday party in Vegas. Sucka.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Advantage, Mario Lavandeira.

The celebrity gossip blog writer, also known as Perez Hilton, won round two in his court battle with a major Hollywood photo agency yesterday. A judge ruled that the self-proclaimed Gossip Gangsta is allowed to run his website as the $7.5 million lawsuit against him is being decided.

Perez Hilton Picture

The paparazzi agency wanted his website, PerezHilton.com, shut down immediately pending the result of the lawsuit.

Last month, a judge denied Perez's attempt to have the case dismissed. The celebrities forced to deal with him, such as Leona Lewis, were elated.

Hilton was sued back in December after the agency in question claims he ignored warnings to stop using its images without permission.

Hilton, who is pals with many of the celebs he covers, including almost-namesake Paris Hilton, is known for taking celebrity photos and making crude drawings on them, which are occasionally funny and have somehow made him very popular.

"The court's ruling is further validation of our client's position in this dispute," said Hilton's lawyer, Bryan J. Freedman, no relation to Britney Spears' friend and dance choreographer, Brian Friedman.

"We continue to believe that Mr. Lavandeira ultimately will prevail on the legal merits at the time of trial in this matter."

The Hollywood Gossip, meanwhile, continues to believe Mr. Lavandeira will ultimately prevail in the matter of sucking.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Perez Hilton has struck again.

The celebrity blogger - who thinks he's cooler and more popular than a topless Matthew McConaughey - likes to throw himself in front of a camera with famous people.

Perez Hilton Fashion

Past victims have included Leona Lewis and Kristin Cavallari.

You really never know where this attention-starved dweeb will show up next - which must explain why Fergie was forced to fake a smile in this photo.

After all, those that walk away from Perez run the risk of being slammed to bits on his website. He's like an insecure seventh grade girl.

Next time Hilton tries to grab you, Fergie, just stick your man Josh Duhamel on him. The Las Vegas star could tear Perez to pieces with his abs alone.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Perez Hilton needs to get a life.

The law-breaking celebrity blogger spends every second of free time tracking down famous people, taking pictures with them and then probably tacking those shots to his refrigerator in an attempt to feel cool.

Perez Hilton Getting Punched

Some supposed stars, such as Tara Reid, don't mind. They need the exposure, too.

But you can see that Kristin Cavallari was none too pleased that Perez shoved his fake smile and annoying head into her personal space.

The latest celebrity to be stuck posing with Hilton is British singing sensation, Leona Lewis. Look for her on American Idol later this year - and perhaps a police station later this month, filing a complaint about Perez.

by Free Britney at . Comments

God. That fat f**k is everywhere these days. As much a celebrity as some of the people he covers on his blog, Perez Hilton is seen here with aspiring actress and Laguna Beach alumna Kristin Cavallari. Nauseous at the sight of our girl KC in the presence of this no talent hack, we just vomited in our collective mouth over here at The Hollywood Gossip.

Rollin' 20 Deep

Fortunately, this picture was actually taken a few weeks ago, when the two were attending a party at a club in Miami where DJ AM was spinning. So the horror of meeting Perez might have passed for the Laguna Beach cutie by now.

Speaking of DJ AM, a.k.a. Adam Goldstein, that mofo sure is a master when it comes to the turntables. And he's tapping Mandy Moore, which is a significant upgrade over his ex-fiancee, Nicole Richie. Then again, who isn't.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In the annals of celebrity photos, certain people simply go together.

Like Katie Rees and naked, drunken women.

Terrible Tara

But at least we don't mind those pairings. Here's one that makes our computers turn just looking at it, however: Tara Reid and Perez Hilton.

Granted, those losers deserve one another. But must we see it?

Oh, and Perez: Let Rachel McAdams sport the pink hair. At least she looks good in it.

Perez Hilton Biography

Perez on Privileged The notorious Perez Hilton, a.k.a. Mario Lavandeira, is a popular celebrity gossip blogger who is biased and friends with many... More »
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Perez Hilton
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