by Free Britney at . Comments

The Situation got served in the Jersey Shore house's latest prank war, while revealing himself to be an even dirtier human being than previously believed.

Dude's more revolting even than the origin of the toilet clog, which was finally kind of revealed. Elsewhere, Snooki sort of admitted her lovey feelings for Vinny.

Sammi also came back to Seaside Heights. D-d-d-d-done!

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

I Wanna Cuddle

SO SWEET: Too bad Vinny wasn't game for Snook's arrangement.

Snooki tells Vinny not to bring any girls home from the club so they can cuddle. Minus 5, girl, because you bring plenty of stuff home from the club too.

The first time you see an ex is always awkward. "Hey Sam," Ron said, "You look good." Sammi's reply? "You look pale." That HURTS on this show. Plus 9.

Deena says Sammi’s “hystatic,” which means “super-happy and … really happy.” Minus only 2, because at least she knows it's a made-up word. We think.

Ronnie awkwardly hovers around Sammi at the club. "I don't want to smother you," he said. Sammi then asks, "Are you leaving?" BURN again. Plus 6.

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Pauly D is hoping to find love in Italy, where Jersey Shore is set to film its fourth season, the reality star told Ellen DeGeneres in an interview to air Monday.

Similar to what Pauly told THG last month, he told the talk show host he's "looking for a girl who's funny, that has family values. Someone like yourself."

"Someone I can bring home to my mother. I can bring you home to my mother."

Ellen's reply after pondering that notion: "Yes, you could. You could bring me home to your mother. And I'd just go, 'Hey.' And then I'd leave." She's hilarious.

Despite the pitfalls of finding genuine love while filming a reality show, Pauly hopes "she'll see that I'm a little different. I'm a nice guy and she'll see that in me."

Good luck Pauly. Follow this link for our Jersey Shore recap from last night, and for all the latest on the trip to Italy, check out the latest edition of The Pulse ...

by Free Britney at . Comments

Pranks were again off the proverbial hook this week on Jersey Shore, with The Situation getting the better of Deena and Snooki, but later getting served himself.

Also, Sammi's back. Freaking wonderful.

To be honest, though, it's probably best from a dramatic standpoint that the Horror of Hazlet returns. Two weeks of practical jokes is probably sufficient.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Prank Master

DUCK PHONE REVENGE: Plant marshmallows around this house, will they ...

Ronnie's father visits Seaside to lend him some much-needed support. He must not watch the show, otherwise he'd arrive to officially disown his son. Minus 5.

That bike they won on the boardwalk is hella sweet. Plus 3.

Nick, whoever that is (we lose track of Snooki's conquests) doesn't call Snooki back, so she calls him. About 19 times in a row. Dudes really dig this. Minus 9.

Turns out Nick heard Snooki hooked up with both Gianni and Jeff, who are cousins. When you sleep with anything that moves, these things do happen. Plus 4.

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Pauly and Vinny. Snooki and Deena.

Oh, it was on like Donkey Kong on Jersey Shore last week. As we noted in our official episode recap, this was a prank war of epic proportions.

Some of the practical jokes were funny, others lame, and some downright filthy in the truest sense of the word. Fecal waste was involved.

Who emerged victorious? Guys? Girls? Did we lose just by watching? Check out Team Bromance battling Team Snarf/Sloppopatumus here and see:

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In the aftermath of Sammi's exit from Jersey Shore last week, Ronnie was down in the dumps. The rest of the gang seemed focused more on absurd pranks.

Despite the title, "The Great Depression" was lighter fare than more recent episodes, with fewer epic meltdowns and more bathroom humor - quite literally.

As always, THG has broken down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode in our trademark +/- recap below. Let's get to it:

Old Underwear

THAT'S JUST WRONG: Pauly's discovery was dirty even by JS standards.

Right off the bat for using the show to pitch Britney Spears' new music video. Videos, on MTV? What a concept! Plus 5 in hopes that this pattern continues.

Despite being enraged every second she's around, Ronnie mopes now that Sammi's gone, whining non-stop in an all-out effort to grow a vagina. Minus 19.

Seriously, Jenni could take Ronnie. You can see the disgust on her face. Plus 4.

Sammi breaks down at home. Minus 10 for not making this a Sammi-free week, 'cause she'll be back wearing her one white skirt/black top outfit in no time.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

This week's Jersey Shore marked the departure of Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola. A permanent exist, we think - and hope - after the fight to end all fights.

As much as we aren't sorry to see her go, we'll give her this much - she went out in style after a blowout with Ronnie Magro that exceeded even their standards.

This comprised most of the memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from the episode, as we've broken down, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Sammi in Bed!

BOILING POINT: Ron wants Sam's stuff out of here ... with her on top of it.

Ronnie confronts The Situation for violating guy code. Funny how, like Sammi pointing the finger at JWoww and Snooki, they always blame others. Minus 2.

Able to see the big picture (take note, Ron), Sitch "takes the high road" and apologize to ensure it doesn't end in a brawl. Plus 6 for his surprising maturity.

He hits the boardwalk to cool off, unaware that Sammi is also heading there with Deena, who "loves single Sammi!" Who loves anything Sammi!? Minus 4.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Snooki met a new juicehead, Pauly D made amends with his stalker, Ronnie bled out of a major orifice and broke up with Sam, again, on last night's Jersey Shore.

Perhaps most notable, though, was Snooki's marine biology expertise. Thanks to Nicole Polizzi, we now know why the ocean is salty. Nasty whale sperm, obvi.

This and many other memorable Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night are broken down by THG, as always, in our trademark +/- recap below:

Special Exam

SPECIAL EXAM: This is what it's like for viewers watching Sammi onscreen.

Things are good in the Jersey Shore house. It's just the calm before the storm, but there's actually no drama or active feud as the episode commences! Plus 8.

But, as Ronnie put it after a night of drinking ended with him puking like a madman as usual, it's always "one step forward and two step backs." Minus 5.

We've seen people on Jersey Shore getting probed a lot, but never like this. Plus 4.

Despite assurances that "I've dranken a lot more than I drank tonight," Ron's arse swells to the point that we're treated to the haunting visual above. Minus 11.

Snooki fell asleep with the dogs. A more apt scenario may never transpire. Plus 7.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

This guy would kill it on the Shore. - Pauly D on Justin Bieber.

We already knew that Justin Bieber could sing and make girls scream.

But did you know he could fist pump? Teach a class in pimping? Keep up with the ridiculousness of Pauly D and The Situation?

Justin does so in the following promos, as these Jersey Shore stars help our favorite 16-year old hype his upcoming biopic, "Never Say Never." In the first must-watch clip, Pauly - who dressed like Justin for Halloween - laments: "My hair won't even stand up anymore, and I can't stop buying purple pants. I think I've got Bieber Fever."

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Who better than Pauly D and Vinny Guadagnino to determine the best of the best at a "Miss Jersey Shore" contest being held next week in the UK?

The stars of the MTV reality show are judging the competition at London's Mahiki nightclub. What does the winner get? We have no earthly idea.

However, they do get to hang out with Pauly and Vinny. Win-win. Pauly D told THG his ideal mate is gorgeous, funny and loyal. Ladies, take note.

Vinny and Pauly D

AWWW YEAH: Miss Jersey Shore UK yeah!!

The duo will be looking for a British girl who can match their "hot, tanned, sexy and fun-loving" co-stars, or even Sammi Giancola for that matter.

Girls wanting to take part in the contest can send their photos - one headshot and one full body shot - and a 50-word description of themselves.

Break out the bronzer, the booze and the grenade whistle!

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The gang invented a new means of extracting grenades, Deena revealed her inner freak, Sammi and Ronnie came to blows (again), Snooki bought a stripper pole and so much more in an epic night of Jersey Shore debauchery.

Just when you think they can't outdo themselves once again ...

THG breaks down all the best Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the MTV show, as always, in its trademark +/- recap below:

Grenade Whistle!

SOUND THE ALARM: Vinny rescues The Situation.

It's more like a Grenade Horn, but the Grenade Whistle is a fitting prop for a group of guys so dedicated to extracting the less-attractive females. Plus 8.

Of course, they could simply not bring said females back home, so ... Minus 7.

Vinny sounds the grenade whistle to rescue Sitch. What are friends for? Plus 4.

The Situation goes upstairs to borrow a condom from Ronnie and lets it slip to Sammi that Ronnie is talking to JWoww. What an instigator. Minus 6.

Snooki and Jenni bring home a couple of bitches. Pomeranians, looks like. Plus 5.

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Pauly D Biography

Paul DelVecchio Pic Paul DelVecchio, a.k.a. DJ Pauly D, is a cast member on Jersey Shore. As his nickname suggests, he is a DJ and hails from Johnston, R.I.,... More »
Birthplace
Johnston, Rhode Island
Full Name
Pauly D
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