by Hilton Hater at

We warned the public a couple months ago. Now, one of our worst fears has sort of come true: nude Heather Mills pictures have been found.

Fortunately, they've also been returned to Paul McCartney, who we're guessing was hoping to never see such a bare sight ever again.

Heather Mills' Bad Hair

Private photos of the former Beatle and Mills - including one of Mills in a bath wearing nothing but diamond earrings - were found dumped in a British garbage can.

The bizarre find also included pictures of Mills draped in a sheet in bed, with her artificial leg standing in a black stiletto nearby. That's about as hot as anything involving Anna Nicole Smith.

There are also pictures of McCartney's special moments with his and Mills' daughter Beatrice, causing us to wonder what the heck sort of photo album these all emanated from.

Tender photos of McCartney's first wife, Linda, on holiday in Australia were also in the bags.

"I'm very grateful to [British newspaper] The Sun for getting these pictures back to me," McCartney said.

So are we. The only thing we wish to see less than Heather Mills naked would be Paris Hilton's pussy.

Oh, wait. Too late for that.

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by Mischalova at

We could all learn a thing or two from Paul McCartney - and we're not even talking about making beautiful music that affects multiple generations.

The legendary former Beatle said Saturday he bears no grudge against Heather Mills - despite acrimonious divorce proceedings that have seen lurid allegations about their marriage reported across the world.

Nancy and Paul Picture

The 64-year-old said it left him saddened, but determined to act with dignity.

"There are certain things in life that are personal, and I think a relationship with a partner is intensely personal, and I prefer to keep it that way," McCartney told British Broadcasting Corp. radio in an interview over the weekend.

Not everyone named Shanna Moakler or Travis Barker agrees, however. But McCartney carried on bravely.

"When you are going through difficulties, I think the thing to do for the sake of all the people concerned is to keep a certain dignity and remember that it is a private affair, and that way, you will probably get through it better," he said.

McCartney said keeping details of the divorce private would "put less noses out of joint, and I think it is a more dignified way to go about it."

He's certainly correct. It's just rare to see a celebrity act dignified. Have you seen this Anna Nicole Smith picture recently?

McCartney's lawyers said he would vigorously defend himself against the allegations that he had physically abused his second wife.

"Life goes on, I do not hold grudges against anyone, I don't blame anyone for the sadnesses that have happened to me. I am sad about them because it would stupid to be otherwise," McCartney said. "I think life goes on, and it is what you make of it, so I am pretty optimistic."

Amen, Sir Paul. We hope Sara Evans and others going through messy divorces read this.

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by Mischalova at

Paul McCartney has four children. One daughter turned three years old over the weekend.

The other wants to kill her ex-step mother, Heather Mills.

Heather Mills' Bad Hair

We'll start with the non-homicidal news: At the third birthday of their daughter Beatrice in East Sussex, England, the feuding couple played nicely together, according to published accounts.

It was like they were Sara Evans and Craig Schelske in court.

However, McCartney and Mills left separately, with Paul taking away Beatrice in a chauffeur-driven car around 10 minutes before Heather took off with some leftover birthday cake, Britai's Hello! magazine states.

One mother, whose son happened to be at the children's center as the party was wrapping up, told Australia's Melbourne Herald Sun newspaper:

"Bea looked lovely and seemed to be having a wonderful time. If I did not know what had been going on in their marriage in the last few months, I would never have guessed."

Not having as wonderful a time as McCartney and Mills go through a divorce? Sir Paul's adult daughter, Stella. In response to Heather's accusation that the former Beatle choked his late wife (and Stella's mother), Linda, the older McCartney said:

"I can't believe what she's doing, I'm going to kill her ... She's been a manipulative cow from day one. The cow won't be happy until she destroys all of us - and our memories of our mother."

It's hard to argue with any of that. Or not to assume the ears of Anna Nicole Smith were burning when she heard the words "manipulative cow."

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by Mischalova at

And this all took place at the same event! A gala at New York City's Whitney Museum, naturally.

Michelle Williams at the Spirit Awards

Let's start with everyone's favorite Uma. Thurman wouldn't leave hotelier beau Andre Balazs's side while posing for photos throughout the evening. The couple got cuddly for photographers, and when Thurman was asked to pose alone, she said: "I'm not solo so I'm not standing solo."

Yup, Uma and Andre were more attached than Rumer Willis to Lindsay Lohan.

Meanwhile, Michelle Williams was interview by People magazine at the afterparty. She was asked if her and Heath Ledger planned to instill an appreciation for at in baby Matilda.

"Well, where we live we have a lot of art on the wall, and we have a lot of sophisticated things in the nursery," Williams said. "But we try to keep it real and child-friendly, but with stuff that will last a lifetime."

Finally, the Idiot of the Night award went to ex-Saturday Night Live star and unfunny man, Jimmy Fallon.

He actually showed up wearing a Paul McCartney button and touting: He's the best. He's the one and only. "He's my man. He's my favorite. Yeah, I love Paul. I've got to support him."

That's like supporting Brangelina in its fight against gay marriage critics. Which other side would you take, Jimmy?!?

McCartney is filing from a divorce from a money hungry former call girl. There's a reason you haven't seen any Heather Mills buttons around.

Instead of treating the revered ex-Beatle like a charity case and exploiting his situation for personal attention, try not laughing at your own jokes for a change, Fallon.

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by Mischalova at

The spotlight can be blinding. Once relationships get caught in its glare, look out! Granted, it can make for some funny stories, such as the apparent break up of Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey.

Nancy Shevell, Paul McCartney

Other times, it's just sad.

Take the case of Sara Evans. She filed for divorce from her husband because he may or may not be a porn addict that also shagged their nanny. That's embarrassing.

But is the best way to handle it to spread such adulterating gospel across national television? After sharing her story on Dancing with the Stars, Evans should have expected her former nanny and husband to fire back.

First, Alison Clinton went on Extra and called Evans a liar.

Now, Craig Schelske is accusing his wife of having affairs with country singer Kenny Chesney and other unnamed "associates in the music business."

These people really need to stop the madness. Take a look at Sir Paul McCartney, for instance. You can't be embroiled in any more of a public divorce than he's going through.

But how does the former Beatle respond to allegations by Heather Mills that he choked her? Shockingly, by not continuing the fight through the media.

In a statement, McCartney's legal reps said:

"Our client would very much like to respond in public and in detail to the allegations made recently against him by his wife and published in the press but he recognizes, on advice, that the only correct forum for his response to the allegations made against him is in the current divorce proceedings."

Simple. Straightforward. Respectable.

We hope Nicole Richie takes the same high road once she's done using Samuel Plouchart.

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by Mischalova at

No, Paul McCartney didn't miss any key free throws at the end of a basketball game or forget the lyrics to "Hey Jude."

Instead, the chock job he's being accused of has to do with his hands around the neck of Heather Mills, according to the gold digger herself.

Heather Mills' Bad Hair

London newspapers claim a divorce document filed by Mills alleges that the former Beatle attacked her during their marriage. The legal papers also allegedly say McCartney was often drunk or high on drugs during the four-year union.

There's no truth to the rumor that Pete Doherty sent Sir Paul a bottle of champagne when he heard this.

The Evening Standard reports Mills filed a 13-page petition with the court in London, alleging, among other things, that McCartney "would not let her have an antique bedpan under their bed to save her crawling to the bathroom at night."

The nerve of that sick, torturous ex-Beatle!

There's also an allegation that McCartney "stabbed her with a wine bottle." Which we didn't even know was possible; but will soon experiment with the next time we see Brooke Hogan.
Geoff Baker, McCartney's former publicist, responded to the allegations by saying "Heather Mills is a complete fantasist and I would not believe her if she told me the sun set in the West."

Meanwhile, The Daily Mail reports that Mills claims in the documents that McCartney attacked her four times during their four-year marriage.

Allegedly, Paul also choked Mills and "forbade her from having an operation because it clashed with his holiday plans and called her an 'ungrateful bitch.'"

We'll refrain from taking sides, except to say this: take a look at the Heather Mills picture in this post. And ask yourself: Would you trust this woman over a Beatle?

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by Free Britney at

Not the oddest couple of all time, but hardly a pair of music moguls we'd expect to see together. But hey, go with what works. For all we know, rap star Kanye West (left) was probably just giving Sir Paul McCartney some marriage advice.

Go West, Kanye

With all Paul has endured with his wife -- high-priced "instructional sex guide" star and call girl, Heather Mills -- he could certainly use an ear wherever he can get one. After all, have you seen that smoking hot Kanye West fiancee? This guy knows what's up when it comes to marriage! Fashion, though? Not so sure.

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by Mischalova at

Paul McCartney is doing fine, thanks for asking.

Granted, it's not easy dealing with a money-hungry, promiscuous ex-wife, such as Heather Mills, but the former Beatles member says his musical work "sustains" him in difficult times.

Pic of Paul McCartney

McCartney, 64, spoke at a press conference in London for his new classical album, "Ecce Cor Meum (Behold My Heart)." Asked how he's faring these days, he said:

"I'm doing fine. It's okay. I am enjoying music. It's something I love to do. It's something that sustains me."

Are you listening, Pete Doherty? You don't need drugs to sustain you.

The new album was inspired by McCartney's late wife, Linda, who died of breast cancer in 1998.

"It was started when Linda was alive," he said. "It has a lot of my feelings for her in it.

"When she died it stalled me and it took a year or so to before I could get back into it," he continued. "And the interlude in the middle, the sad melody, is what got me back into it. So her spirit is very much in this. It would have been her birthday yesterday, so it's very appropriate.

The press conference came to an end, however, when a reporter asked about a story that had appeared in the morning's newspapers, apparently quoting McCartney as saying he found it hard to cope with his split from Mills.

"Now wait a minute. You're a little renegade, coming out of the corner here," Sir Paul responded. "I haven't read The Daily Mirror today. Have we someone breaking away from the script? I think we have."

A bit testy, it seemed. But we understand. At least McCartney didn't pull a Kim Basinger and refer to his ex as Saddam Hussein.

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by Mischalova at

We're sorry to be the ones to inform you, former great member of The Beatles, but you've been ... Heathered!

Heather M.

Evidently, Heather Mills isn't receiving any support in her current divorce from the man with whom she went through her prior divorce.

Alfie Kamal addressed Sir Paul McCartney when he said:

"We have both been Heathered. If she took out of the marriage what she put in, she would walk out with minus a million bucks."

Kamal was married to Mills in the late 1980s.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump felt the need to chime in. This is a (VERY rich) man who knows about divorce. On his Trump University blog, Martha's Stewart best friend wrote:

"I know I sound like a broken record but ... get a prenup. Don't believe me? Ask Paul McCartney what he thinks. I know he wishes he had one."

Oh yeah? Not everyone is so greedy, Mr. Apprentice guy. Just look at Nick Lachey as a man who understand what's important in life.

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by Mischalova at

They fight like cats, they square off like dogs - and now Heather Mills and Paul McCartney hire lawyers like royalty.

In an interesting twist to the Most Antagonistic Divorce Ever, each side has hired a lawyer that was involved in the Prince Charles/Princess Di proceedings.

  • Paul McCartney O Face
  • Heather Mills Smile

On Tuesday, the former sex slave Mrs.McCartney hired Anthony Julius, the attorney that represented Diana in her own split with the prince ten years ago. Perhaps because he's also sort of royalty, Sir Paul then signed up with Fiona Shackelton Charles' legal counsel in that matrimonial matter.

A decade ago, Julius won an approximately $3 million settlement for the Princess. Gold-digging Mills is after A LOT more than that from the ex-Beatle, however.

The lawyer arms race is only the latest development in the McCartney-Mills divorce saga:

Yesterday, Heather went to her husband's home, only to find herself locked out, a circumstance which her spokesman said she found "hilarious."

Here's something else funny about your client: she's friends with Paris Hilton!

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