by Free Britney at

Paris Hilton hits cars, she flees scenes ... and now she faces a lawsuit for an accident that she wasn't even involved in.

A Los Angeles couple has filed a lawsuit against the airhead claiming she's legally responsible for a May 2004 accident allegedly caused by a friend driving Hilton's Mercedes, according to court documents obtained by E! Online. For once, Paris was not directly involved in the mess.

Paris Hilton, Pink Bentley

Plaintiffs Ivan Alvarez and Monica Delgado claim that they were rear-ended in a four-car collision set off by Hilton's pal, Brooke Ashley Brinson, who supposedly hit the car in front of her, setting off a domino effect.

According to the complaint, filed May 30 in Los Angeles Superior Court, Alvarez and Delgado are seeking damages to compensate for emotional distress, loss of wages, medical bills, loss of earning capacity and property damage.

Indeed, the last few days have been anything but a simple life for our favorite blonde bimbo.

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by Mischalova at

We're sorry, Paris. Apparently you actually are a handicapped driver.

The whisphy waste of space hit a parked car last week ... and then left without leaving a note, a violation of California law. TMZ.com even has it all on video. Of course, Hilton is used to videos of her surfacing on the Internet.

Doug and Paris Done?

Here's what reportedly transpired: Paris was returning from a shopping spree in L.A. with gal pal and Nick Lachey bed mate, Kim Kardashian, when she hopped in her Range Rover. Hilton proceeded to back out of the parking spot without a seat belt on, yet another. A Honda Civic was the victim of this dimwitted driving, with damage caused to both vehicles' fenders.

According to reports, Hilton has been cited for various violations six times in as many months. Failing to leave a note after damaging another car is a misdemeanor under California law, punishable by as much as six months in jail. H

Hey, there's an idea for the next edition of The Simple Life!

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by Free Britney at

This is terrible. Not only has The Simple Life 4 found a new home on E!, it's evidently a very popular location. The wretched Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie reality show debuted to 1.3 million viewers last Sunday.

This figure represented a 400% increase over the channel's typical prime time numbers. In key demographics, such as 18-35 year-old males, the boost was more than three times the network's average.

Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie leaving the club

We have one word for whomever is comprising this viewership: STOP! What's next, will you purchase Paris' first single? How will this attention-hungry, food-starved waste of space ever go away if we continue to pay her attention?!?

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by Mischalova at

Quick note to Matt Leinart, rookie quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals and occasional boy toy: get out of Paris while you still can!

Hilton, that is. The hotel heiress and new pop artist may sing about stars being blind ... but that doesn't mean she can act as though she is afflicated with this or any other handicap while driving! That's just nonsense.

Night Club Goer

To sum up the latest controversy surrounding this nitwit: Residents of the exclusive L.A. apartment complex in which Leinart resides told the New York Post that the blonde bimbo actually pulls into a handicapped space every time she visits.

"I find the reports surprising," said Paris' long-suffering spokesman Elliot Mintz.

Because she's shocked that Hilton would pull such a stint? Has she ever met her client?

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by Mischalova at

Paris Hilton really needs to be more careful. Somehow, information and videos about her continue to be leaked to the public.

Supernatural Skank

The latest sneak peak into the wonderful world of Paris is the hotel heiress' first single, "Stars Are Blind." If the tune is meant to be autobiographical, she forgot to add "thin, useless and ugly" to the title.

According to the New York Post, however, the song could be a lot worse. Singing to a pop reggae beat, Hilton waxes about her qualifications to be somebody's girlfriend to a pop reggae beat. The newspaper reported her voice on the track is reminiscent of Gwen Stefani. It's amazing what technology can accomplish.
Dan Aquilante of the Post quipped: "We can only hope the video is half as good as her last one."

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