by Mischalova at . Comments

Here's the question, readers: How much do we believe Paris Hilton? She claims to hate skinny people, but she is skinny ... she claims she isn't an overused human condom, but she obviously is ...

Taking a Bow

And now? Paris says she was actually passed over the role of Lucy Ewing in the movie remake of Dallas. Eventually, the part went to Katie Cassidy, but Jessica Simpson appeared to be the only other actress in the running.

According to Hilton, she was a top choice for Lucy and found it difficult to turn down:

"I was a huge fan of the show and never missed it when I was a kid - more for the hair and fashions than the storylines," Paris piped.

"But the truth is the role is too demanding for me. I told them I need to make a few more smaller movies first, then take it from there."

Sounds just like Hilton, right? Not wanting to be in too bright of a spotlight?

But, wait, there are more Paris lies to be told ...

Continue Reading...

by Mischalova at . Comments

Say this about Paris Hilton: she sucks. Oh, also say this: her actions don't exactly stand by her words.

A few weeks after claiming she was single and loving it, everyone's least favorite hotel heiress human being is back together with her ex-boyfriend, Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos â€" at least for now.

Stavros and Paris, Take 17!

"We're together now here. We love each other," Hilton told People magazine on Monday at Diddy's Unforgettable 50 party aboard a rented yacht.

ome profound, long-lasting words of affection. The Gossip isn't sure, however, if Paris maintained such love once Stavros got off her.

On Saturday night, Hilton was seen partying with Niarchos at the VIP Room nightclub, where she treated him to a pole dance. Viewers said it was difficult to differentiate between Hilton and the pole. The following night they kissed at the nearby club Les Caves du Roy.

Continue Reading...

by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, fellas, wanna ogle Paris Hilton, but not sure where to find the waste of space? (Hint: Try the bathroom stall, on her knees.) You don't need a blow up doll to satisfy this unusual urge anymore.

Try a lookalike! Natalie Reid (pictured) looks very much like our favorite "fart in a mitten." The real Paris even invited the fake Paris to the real Paris' house for an evening of debating alternative fuel uses in America.

Sexy Paris Hilton

Or giggling and purging.

"She invited me to her house in West Hollywood, and we hung out. She was totally in shock, like staring at me and taking a lot of pictures," Reid tells Playboy in its September issue.

That's right, you can glimpe Hilton naked in the upcoming issue ... sort of. Then again, Paris did go all R. Kelly on us and make a sex tape. Who hasn't seen her nude? Who wants to see her nude?

This is digusting.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The relevance of the headline and picture shown here to the post itself? Zero. But look at her take that thing! So much for those eating disorder rumors!

Kris Jenner, Nicole Richie and Khloe Kardashia

In any case, Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are set to publicly end their two-year-old feud as guests of David Letterman.

The late night talk show host has offered to assume the role of peacekeeper after inviting The Simple Life stars to appear together on his program in September. The two former gal pal had a falling out after it was reported that Richie held a private viewing of Hilton's controversial sex tape.

Both girls have refused to go into detail about their bust-up, with Hilton repeatedly telling journalists, "She knows what she did."

Hilton and Richie agreed to team up on TV again for the third season of reality show The Simple Life, but refused to work together on screen.

Good for you, Dave, for bringing these hoes girls together. The lesson learned? The bonds of friendship are strong, and there is no reason to stay mad, even if one holds a private screening of an X-rated video showing the other getting railed by an ex-boyfriend.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Forget other examples of the Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan feud - fake laughing and kicking is NOTHING compared to this.

Brace yourself, readers, because someone has stolen Lohan's Blackberry password! Those in the fiery, spoiled redhead's camp? They blame a certain blonde, skinny, attention/food starved hotel heiress.

What a Frickin' Wreck

Lohan's rep, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, said the immoral individual in question sent Lindsay's friends "disgusting and very mean messages." Well, at this this person didn't party them to death.

"Everyone thought were coming from Lindsay. They weren't. We now have her lawyers looking into it. Some people think Paris may have been involved because the wording of the messages sounds very familiar," said Zelnik.

In other words, every other event was referred to as "hot" and every message signed by "an overused human condom."

Ironically, Hilton suffered through her own messaging incident two years ago when her T-Mobile was hacked into and her private messages were put on the Web - including ones saying [then married] Jessica Simpson had a crush on Justin Timberlake.

Hilton's rep, Elliot Mintz, denies the awful waste of space had anything to do with Lohan's BlackBerry difficulties.

"I'm saddened this happened to Lindsay. I lived through this with Paris two years ago when her Sidekick was hacked into, and the loss of privacy is unbearable. But as for any suggestion that Paris would have anything to do with this, that is silly, untrue and unfortunate."

Studies actually show the only event more unbearable than losing one's privacy for a bit is listening to Kevin Federline rap.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Who hasn't wanted to do naughty things to Christina Aguilera or Jennifer Lopez? Come on, ladies, put your hands up, too.

This is everyone's chance to make such fantasies into a reality. Sort of. Not really. For the sickos, maybe.

  • At Rockefeller Center
  • Terrible Outfit
  • 47-Year Old Body

Nevertheless, all it takes is a deep exhale or two and J.Lo can instantly appear in your living room! Or, to be precise, J.Ho, the name of her inflatable doll. Others hot babes you can make into your own sex slaves include Demi Moore, Cindy Crawford and Paris Hilton.

These blow up dolls can be purchased online at numerous erotic web boutiques for about $20. The rewards, however, can last forever. Or, for Jay-Z, more like a few seconds.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Yesterday, TMZ.com had the good fortune - or awful, awful fortune - of sitting down with Paris Hilton and discussing a few of the posts fans haters have left for her on that website.

Harvey Levin had the dishonor of such an assignment. Before we get into the heartfelt phony responses from Hilton, let's look over some of the feelings users have expressed about this hideous human being, those that Paris refers to as "mean and sadistic" and The Gossip refers to as "hilarious and spot-on":

Sad Paris
  • "Paris is just an overused human condom."
  • "Paris is like a fart in a mitten. You know it's there, you can't stand it, but you can't get rid of it."
  • "Would you please drop over dead or commit suicide you damn slut?"

Hilton had a simple, completely false reply: "I'm far less promiscuous than any of my friends."

We know what you're thinking, guys:where can we meet these friends?

As for the infamous sex tape with ex-lover Rick Solomon, Hilton said "I'm judged because of something that an ex-boyfriend did to me. I'm not a slut at all."

Got that?!? Those royalties she received in exchange for not pursuing a lawsuit - and the fact that it made her well-known in the first place - are nothing compared to the false image of this innocent soul as a home-wrecking whore.

Overall, Hilton says that many of the TMZ comments are "very hurtful" to her and that some make her cry. She says "They think I don't have any feelings."

We think readers of The Gossip can do better with their insults. Let's hear it, people!

by Mischalova at . Comments

If she keeps this up, the competition for Most Annoying will be a runaway victory for a certain hotel heiress.

So will Most Pot-Like (as in, one calling kettles black). Fresh off laughing in the face of one rival, Paris Hilton is lashing out at another.

The emaciated waste of space recently trashed the assortment of underweight stars of Hollywood, most likely as yet another attack on former best friend, Nicole Ritchie.
"A lot of women are too thin. But I like food too much," Hilton said, with a straight face somehow. "I think the ones who are getting really skinny look gross."

Out on Probation

Paris, however, really needs to drop a few pounds. You can barely see her third rib on the right side.

There was more utter nonsense from this spoiled neighborhood bicycle, however. She also blasted rich kids who sponge off their parents.

"A lot of my friends still don't have a job and they live at home, and have to ask their parents for everything," Hilton told the London Guardian. "I haven't accepted money from my parents since I was 18. Since then, I've worked on my own. It feels good that I don't ever have to depend on a man or my family for anything."

Well, maybe driving lessons.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Some reunions are civil and mature - thank you, Nick and Jessica.

Others, meanwhile, are hilarious and spiteful - who else but you, Paris and Lindsay?

  • Wedgie Fix
  • Paris in Malibu

Despite a recent interview in which Hilton claimed there was no feud between these awful people, the encounter between the painful duo last weekend in Malibu would suggest otherwise. For some reason, each were invited to a party there.

Paris responded to the presence of her bitter rival with non-stop laughter. According to Page Six, the new music video star "made it a point to whisper and laugh very loudly the entire time" at the Polaroid Beach House. Lohan, conversely, escaped the situation by slipping away to a back bedroom with boy toy, Harry Morton.

The Gossip has little doubt about what went on there.

Later, however, Hilton walked by and one of Morton's friends faked a kick to her read end, according to a witness. He only missed, we presume, because he couldn't tell the difference between it and her face.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Here's a natural chain of well-known beauties: Marilyn Monroe. Princess Di. Paris Hilton.

Referring to herself as the "iconic blonde" of this decade, none other than Paris herself made the above comparison in a recent interview with the Sunday Times of London. Would you expect anything less from the pampered pet lover?

Paris and Doug Pose

Yes? No problem! Hilton also claims she's similar to another (FAR better looking) blonde because she plays a role "like Jessica Simpson plays dumb." Moreover, Paris thinks "there's nobody in the world like me."

That could also be said of the Unabomber.

The new singer gave this interview to Giles Hattersley, a writer for the Times - and, oddly enough, Hilton's former roomate. Our least favorite human being in the world went in to say "there are a lot of heiresses out there, and I don't see any of them doing what I've done."

That's true. Who else can pretend to sing while sleeping with every other professional athlete on the planet?

How about those fights, Paris? Do you really court controversy and bitch slaps everywhere you go?

"I'm non-confrontational. Certain girls just use me to get media attention ... because a feud with Paris Hilton always gets press."

Paris Hilton makes a good point about Paris Hilton. We're sure Lindsay Lohan, for instance, is really a close pal. No way the pair ever exchanged heated words at in a New York nightclub over Lohan's interaction with Hilton's ex, Stavros Niarchos?

"That was crap. She's never even hung out with Stavros. He thinks she's pathetic."

Nope, defininitely no feud there. Hattersley actually recalls that Paris was once just "a warm witty girl who always made a point of emptying the dishwasher."

Now? The only thing she empties is her stomach after meals.