by Mischalova at

We know you were yearning to hear more about the sex life of Nick Carter. Especially when it involves juicy details such as this.

According to the reality show pimp and lame singer man himself, when Carter learned that Paris Hilton was cheating on him with Sophia Bush's fiancé, Chad Michael Murray, he reciprocated with a new bedmate.

Scuba Diving Diva

He waited until his then-girlfriend jetted off to Australia and then hooked up with Ashlee Simpson.

"I'd fallen head over heels with this chick. Then, all of a sudden, three months go by and I got people telling me, 'Nick, you know what Paris is doing to you,' and I got a little upset," Carter said. "So then I just decided to fight back a little bit and started doing my own thing again.

The result is I hooked up with Ashlee Simpson. When Paris came back from Australia, they talked to each other and she found out about it."

Nick doesn't seem too remorseful. Or talented.

"So I brought it up to her and said, 'You know what I did, and now it's your turn. Why don't you tell me what you did.' And she goes, 'I never did anything! I never cheated on you.' I had kind of started to really like Ashlee and I was thinking about the dating stage, then before you know it, f--king b-tch-face comes back."

Ah yes, the pet name all of Paris' boyfriends refer to her as. Somewhere, Stavros Niarchos is smiling.

The former Backstreet Boys member told the New York Post he has no regrets, but still has a bitter taste in his mouth over how much Paris Hilton sucks.

"I got so burnt over that whole Paris [bleep] with all this swinging and switching. Whatever happened to morals and values?"

Good question, Nick. Maybe you and brother, Aaron Carter, can tell us on your new reality show, House of Carters.

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by Mischalova at

Considering her recent DUI charges, let's at least hope Paris Hilton walked on a vintage clothing shopping spree last week.

Joined by sister Nicky, the duo headed to Sielian's Vintage Apparel in LA's trendy West Melrose shopping district. Once there, the Hiltons let everyone know just how rich and spoiled they truly were.

Ho, Ho!

Racking up $6,000 worth of the boutique's sexy form-fitting frocks from the 60s, 70s, and 80s was a good start. Paris set the tone as the older sister, purchasing 35 dresses from Sielian's immaculate collection of previously owned one-of-a-kind gowns.

That's like two more articles of clothing that guys rival Lindsay Lohan pleasured the night before.

The shop, owned by Sielian Lie and Tsutomu Carton, has been opened for just one month, but is already a hot spot for Hollywood's hippest trendsetters.

Everyone from Keira Knightley to the Olsen Twins are coming in to check out the store's latest finds.

A source told TMZ.com that the sisters were very polite. Unless you mentioned Nick Carter to Paris, of course.

While on their retail rendezvous, Paris received at least a half dozen calls, while Nicky continuously emailed friends on her blackberry.

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by Mischalova at

We don't care if Nick and Aaron Carter are only making headlines now to hype up their reality show, House of Carters.

We'll take any chance we can get to publish Paris Hilton bashing.

A Paris and Doug Pic

Back in July 2004, Nick wasn't in the spotlight due to the latest hit from his group, The Backstreet Boys. Instead, accusations flew that he had abused Hilton during the couple's relationship.

Two years later, the 26-year-old singer is finally ready to talk about his rocky romance with Paris - and just as his reality show is starting. Amazing timing!

"I thought the fact that she had money and was famous meant I wouldn'have to worry about somebody using me," he says. "I thought that. Wrong. I kind of fell head over heels for this girl. And I probably shouldn't have."

As time went on, each side figured this whole monogomous thing was dated. Paris snuggled up with House of Wax co-star, Chad Michael Murray. Naturally, Nick had to snag some action himself to keep up.

We're just gonna assume, like any warm-blooded male, that he had Lindsay Lohan on speed dial for such an occasion.

Carter, of course, denies any allegations of abuse and even Hilton haters at The Gossip wouldn't advocate physically hurting this female. We'd just force her to watch a Dustin Diamond sex tape on continuous loop.

Yech.

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by Mischalova at

See, it could be worse, Chevy Chase. You're just playing a famous actor that was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol.

Paris Hilton is now actually living that reality. Except that any movie she's made proves she's far from an actor. And we wish she weren't famous.

Fairies

Either way, the bimbo has been charged with two misdemeanors â€" driving under the influence and driving with a blood-alcohol level of .08 or higher, Los Angeles city attorney's spokesperson Frank Mateljan said.

Hilton is scheduled for arraignment Thursday at 8:30 a.m. in L.A., but isn't required to attend the hearing. The maximum punishment for a first-time DUI is a $1,000 fine and/or six months in jail. We're pretty sure Paris made that much from the sale of one sex tape back in the day.

"I'd be very surpised if she does any jailtime," says Lawrence Taylor, an L.A.-based attorney with 30 years experience handling DUI cases and stating the obvious. "If she pleads guilty, she'd likely pay a fine, attend DUI school and be on probation for three years."

Paris was arrested on Sept. 7 shortly before 12:30 a.m. for "driving erratically," LAPD officer Martha Garcia told said at the time. She had claimed she imbibed just a single margarita, proving only that she's a lightweight on top of every other negative quality.

We can only hope that when George Clooney is president, stupidity, promiscuity and drunk driving are punishable by stoning.

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by Mischalova at

Don't cry for Lindsay Lohan, readers.

Yes, she just got dumped, humiliated and tossed aside like some sort of underweight, spoiled actress by Harry Morton. But it looks as though she's made a new friend:

Fashion Phreak

Paris Hilton.

As we reported earlier in the week, these former enemies were seen conversing in some manner at a party Hilton threw for those using her for her money and connections friends.

Here is an actual exchange between the two drama queens:

Lindsay: Look Paris, I just want all this drama to stop.

Paris: Don't believe anything they say Lins!!!! They'll say anything it's not true. F--k Brandon [Davis] and f---ing firecrotch s--t. We love you so much. You look so hot by the way.

Lindsay: (laughs)

And ... scene! We don't know if these loose ladies were just pretending for the cameras or on-lookers around them, but it's a rivalry/friendship we'll follow closely. Maybe Sean Penn and Canada can make up next.

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by Mischalova at

It's not very clear at this point. But here's what we do know about two of The Gossip's favorites:

Following a party thrown by Us Weekly last night, Paris Hilton truly threw it down. She cleaned out the rolodex with invites, as those in attendance included: Pamela Anderson, Courtney Love, Jeremy Piven and Dave Navarro.

LiLo Rollin'

But the arrival of the night belonged to Lindsay Lohan.

Perez Hilton is reporting the two got into quite a yelling match in front of guests. Many overheard Paris telling Lindsay that she had never hit on Lindsay's boyfriend, Harry Morton. Reports also state that Kevin Connelly, the Entourage star diddling Nicky Hilton, slugged Brandon Davis in the face - twice!

TMZ contacted Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, about the report. His response?

"I was at the party, I remember Lindsay arriving and them having a lovely conversation by the pool. They seemed to have gotten along just fine and only polite words were exchanged."

Uh-oh. If Paris and Lindsay make up, what will be our go-to celebrity feud? Brangelina vs. Abject Poverty? Mel Gibson vs. Non-Catholics? Sean Preston vs. The Fashion Police?

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by Mischalova at

We know, we know, what's next? Mary-Kate Olsen stating she's not, like, fat?

Pig Buyer

Here's how this Paris Hilton revelation came about:

In police investigations related to a robbery of "Girls Gone Wild" producer Joe Francis, the lodging heiress says she's not an entirely reliable witness, but reveals that "private tapes" were taken from her home and that mystery callers have been trying to get her to pay up for them.

Some mystery. Yes, Nicole Richie, we're looking at you.

Hilton admitted to possessing some knowledge of what happened to Francis' house in 2004 (though nothing self-implicating) and Los Angeles Police Department detectives are heard trying to extract it from her in the tapes, which will air on Friday night on "Dateline NBC."

According to Page Six, the annoyed air head says, when interrogated:

"Like I really ... I don't remember. I'm not like that smart. I like forget stuff all the time."

Hilton did admit that she refused to give it to blackmailers that have threatned to release the aforementioned personal sex tapes. We don't know why. That's the only reason she got famous in the first place.

We're not, like, kidding.

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by Free Britney at

The season premiere of The Oprah Winfrey Show started out with a bang... or at least a rich, non-gay talk show host having a hard time doing a simple everyday task.

To open the show, Oprah and BFF Gayle King embarked on a cross-country road trip, surprising unsuspecting Americans by dropping in unannounced at their weddings and other events. The toughest part of the trip for Oprah wasn't the rising price of gas... just the act of dispensing it into her vehicle.

Paris Hilton, Boy Toy

The Big O had to be helped out as she fumbled with the pump, saying "I haven't pumped gas since 1983."

Lucky for her, a good samaritan came to her rescue, demonstrating the right technique for fueling a car. It proved surprisingly easy.

Winfrey joined us in laughing at her expense, saying "I feel kind of stupid not being able to pump gas, but I thought, well maybe they've changed the pumps since I've last pumped."

Well, Oprah, we thought that our girlfriends weren't home when we were posting some pictures from Kristin Cavallari's MySpace page on our site yesterday. Sometimes, you're just dead wrong. It can get pretty ugly.

At the same time Oprah was bungling this simple task, on other side of this great country of ours, the awesome Paris Hilton unknowingly showed that hack how it's done.

Paris proved she's the pro at the pump -- one-handed, in high-heels and talking on the phone. What skillz!

And for her next trick, Paris will demonstrate tonight that she's also a pro at getting pumped by guys.

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by Mischalova at

We don't make things up, readers. When we say that Paris Hilton is a no-good socialite that isn't worth the cocktail napkins her hotels pay for, we mean it.

As for the skank factor, just take a look at her engulfing Travis Barker in this picture, the instant the Blink 182 singer isn't married:

I Heart Paris Hilton

When asked about Barker, Hilton replied: "He's one of my dear friends. I'm single, he's my friend."

She then said the same thing about 37 other guys in the club that night. And a lonely looking bar stool.

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by Mischalova at

All of a sudden, a drunk driving charge may not be the biggest problem Paris Hilton faces this week.

After all, you do NOT wanna get on the bad side of Shanna Moakler.

Criss Angel and Paris Hilton

The Dancing with the Stars contestant spoke about reports that ex-husband, Travis Barker, and constant ho bag, Paris, made out in front of clubgoers in New York. Shanna said she feels "betrayed."

Barker, however, may feel like he has a burning sensation when he urinates.

Hilton and the rocker were spotted at the New York club, Butter, Monday night at a party hosted by Kanye West. Hilton's rep told People magazine:

"They like each other. Paris really likes him. Beyond that, I cannot comment."

Moakler didn't take too kindly to the incident. She's been trying to deal with her and Barker's divorce calmly.

"When I first heard of the situation I felt betrayed, but in order to maintain a positive atmosphere for my children I've decided that not to exacerbate the situation by commenting on each new aspect of Travis Barker's personal life," Shanna said.

As for Hilton and Barker's night out, the pair snuggled and whispered in a corner banquette in the back of the club. When West's song "Diamonds from Sierra Leone" began playing, Hilton stood up and started dancing near Barker.

Hilton's rep added: "Paris is single right now. You may in the future see her in the company of other men."

Or women. Or lonely lamp posts.

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