by Mischalova at . Comments

We make a lot of jokes about Paris Hilton's pussy.

But it never occurred to us just how much Paris Hilton is a pussy.

Law enforcement source connected with the Lynwood Jail tell TMZ, "To describe Paris as emotionally upset would be an understatement."

So, wait, Paris is upset that she's in jail? That's astounding. Might Britney Spears' crotch also be cold from being exposed?

TMZ has confirmed that Hilton is in the medical wing at the jail and is being "evaluated." Reportedly, sheriff's officials believed she was stable enough to be transferred back to his facility, but sources say Paris "will not be able to handle" confinement.

Perhaps she should have thought of that before she broke the law. It's not like Paris minded being confined to the bed of Stavros Niarchos and many other men over the years.

The root of Hilton's problem? Severe panic attacks. Like Katie Price when she wears clothing, apparently Paris freaks out a lot behind bars.

The Hollywood Gossip staff, though, is sick of these stories. It's prison. You're supposed to be upset and scared when there. The spoiled brat should at least be thankful she doesn't have to hang out with Brandon Davis for a few weeks.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Celebrities. They're just like us. They hang out with their friends! Only in their case, those buddies are also celebrities. In our case, they're just celebrity gossip writers. Oh well.

Here's a look at some notable celebrity BFFs ...

Men (like Paul Sculfor) may come and go, but everyone knows that best friends are forever. Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox-Arquette have long been tight on and off the screen. Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, meanwhile, are two low-key celebs, but have been spotted chilling together quite often recently.

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton

Ever since they co-wrote and co-starred in Good Will Hunting, Boston natives Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have been inseparable. The same can't be said for socialites Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, but they were totally, like, best friends at one point - bonded by mutal love for hooking up with dozens of guys, being rich and partying a lot.

Jessica Simpson, CaCee Cobb

Growing up in Texas, Jessica Simpson and CaCee Cobb were good friends. As Jess made it big, she brought along CaCee as her personal assistant! The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag were roommates and two of reality TV's closest gal pals... until the slimy Spencer Pratt burst on the scene and stole Heidi's soul. But it's not all sad, folks - at least Hayden Panettiere and Rumer Willis are hitting it off of late!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Paris Hilton is hungry again.

Maybe for sex with Stavros Niarchos, but also for food; so state her parents, after they visited their spoiled daughter in jail last night. The heiress said she has suffered cold and sleepless nights, but is regaining her appetite.

Tokyo Slut

"It's tough in there. It's cold," Kathy Hilton said after she and Paris's father Rick had a 30-minute visit. "It's just good to see her."

Wow. Is this lady a quote machine or what?

This was the first time Hilton's parents have seen her in jail. Paris told her mom and dad that she has finally started to eat, beginning with cereal Tuesday morning, Kathy said.

"She was very happy," she added. "She wants to just do her time and get on with it."

Well, no worries there. Paris will probably be in jail longer than Reggie Bush will be inside Kim Kardashian.

Hilton, meanwhile, faces problems outside of jail â€" she has been dropped by her talent agent, People magazine confirms. Why someone with less talent than Brooke Hogan had an agent is a question for another time, of course.

But "Paris is no longer a client," Endeavor agency rep Michael Donkis said.

The Beverly Hills-based company has represented Hilton since 2005, handling her deal for The Simple Life.

Paris spent her fourth night in a medical center at a downtown Los Angeles jail. She is serving out a 23-day minimum sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related driving case - and we're just one of many celebrity gossip blogs that can't get enough of that fact.

by Mischalova at . Comments

No wonder Paris Hilton has slept with so many guys.

TMZ has learned that the promiscuous heiress suffers from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), making it difficult for her to focus on one gentleman caller at a time.

See, Stavros Niarchos? Told you it wasn't personal.

Reportedly, Hilton also has claustrophobia. This fear of confined spaces might also explain why she needs to be out on the town so often, while also leading to the sheriff's decision to spring Paris from Lynwood Jail last week.

Hilton is back inside the real prison now (not the type within which Katie Holmes suffers) and is taking Adderall for the ADD.

Although sources were not specific, Paris was not receiving all of her medications at Lynwood, helping to explain why she panicked more than Simon Monjack during a polygraph. Supposedly, there were times Hilton was so debilitated, she could not push the panic button in her cell.

For now, though, the lawbreaker is okay. She's sad and doesn't like jail too much, but reports say her lack of eating hasn't caused her to fall into dangerous Nicole Richie status just yet.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Get a driver.

Those were the sage words of Hayden Panettiere last month, when it was first learned that Paris Hilton would do time for her repeated disregard for DUI and other traffic laws.

Wladimir Klitschko Pic

Such simple advice, yet so profound. It's no surprise, then, that other night, the 17-year-old Panettiere had more choice words for the horrible HO-tel heiress / crybaby.

Well, sort of.

With Hilton back in the slammer after her brief release, the Heroes star hit the town last night and couldn't avoid the inevitable "What do you think about Paris?" question from reporters.

As Hayden Panettiere slipped into Parc under the radar last night with co-star Zachary Quinto, she avoided the barrage of paparazzi.

But on the way to her car, the paps found her and flashbulbs went flying.

As Hayden made her way around to the front of her SUV, she got the question about Stavros Niarchos' loser girlfriend - and simply giggled in response!

Yes. She is wise beyond her years. No word on whether Rumer Willis was with Hayden or what she thinks about the whole Paris Hilton situation.

However, we're guessing if she ever hung out with Paris, Bruce Willis would kill her.

On a side note, while Hayden can operate a motor vehicle at 17, there are some things she can't legally do until August. What are we talking about? Ask Stephen Colletti.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Two people who have seen Paris Hilton nude paid the jailbird a visit over the weekend.

And both Nicky Hilton and Stavros Niarchos came away with hope for their sister/friend, as well as bitterness directed at them by others at the correctional facility.

"She's being strong," Nicky told reporters after the 30-minute visit.

Her boyfriend David Katzenberg drove the pair to the downtown Los Angeles jail unit that treats inmates for physical and mental ailments. They entered through a slew of photographers, filled out visitation forms, and were whisked upstairs.

In response, other visitors grumbled like Tom Cruise when he doesn't know the exact whereabouts of Katie Holmes; these people were pissed that Nicky and Niarchos jumped the line.

"We don't care about no Paris Hilton," said one upset mother. "We're here for our families."

Said another relative: "Why did they get to go up first, that's what I want to know?"

Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore denied the pair got special treatment. Of course, that's pretty much as believable as any guy saying he doesn't wish to see Amanda Beard nude.

Hilton and Stavros were the first family or friends admitted as visitors since Hilton was sent to the locked-down ward Friday after a brief reassignment to home confinement because of an unidentified medical condition. Hilton was visited Saturday by her immoral psychiatrist.

She'll be behind bars for at least another three weeks, a sentencing that's grown to be almost as controversial as anything since Asia Nitollano sort of joined The Pussycat Dolls.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Paris Hilton issued a statement yesterday saying she won't file an appeal and intends to serve out the remainder of her jail sentence.

"Being in jail is by far the hardest thing I have ever done," she said. "During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to think and I believe that I am learning and growing from this experience."

James Blunt, of course, was hurt by this statement. He had been under the impression that he was the hardest thing Paris had ever done.

Hilton said she has spent time reading her fan mail and that "I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming."

Reportedly, Paris also loves her family, almost as much as Paul Sculfor used to love cocaine.

Hilton concluded by saying she was "shocked" at the attention her case has received by the media and public officials.

"I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things like the men and women serving our country in Iraq and other places around the world," she said.

While we certainly agree with the lawbreaking heiress, we can't help but think she'd be singing a different, attention-loving tune if she weren't behind bars. This is a woman that loves to dominate celebrity gossip headlines.

The heiress issued the statement after she spent her first night alone in a room in a locked-down medical ward after suffering in jail.

Meanwhile, a family friend says Paris' wail of "It's not right!" after her re-sentencing on Friday was not a sign that she disagreed with the decision.

"She was taken by surprise when she was restrained from hugging her mom and dad," the friend tells People magazine. "That's all she wanted to do â€" give them a hug. She was startled and spontaneously yelled. Wouldn't most people? But she was not protesting. Just surprised and frightened."

Well, not exactly. Most people not named Jason Wahler wouldn't get into this sort of trouble in the first place.

Hilton then was sent to the Twin Towers Correctional Facility's Correctional Treatment Center in the adjacent medical building. She was placed in a 120-square-foot room by herself with guards at the door at all times.

"Her cell has a bed, toilet, sink, and a sliver of a window," says sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore.

Sounds like worse digs than the ones Justin Timberlake recently used against Britney Spears.

by Mischalova at . Comments

It's the best news since we heard that a nude Amanda Beard would be posing in Playboy:

Paris Hilton is going back to jail.

Judge Michael Sauer made a perfectly logical point, saying "I don't know why the defendant couldn't be treated at Lynwood, because they have a great medical facility."

And with that, he sentenced the illegal driver to return to prison in order to serve out the remainder of her time there. Looks like Nicole Richie can go back to being scared again now. She may be next!

TMZ states that Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, "Mom, Mom, Mom."

Moreover, one witness described the scene as Paris being "physically escorted" out of the courtroom by a female deputy. And it's safe to assume this isn't the sort of physical escorting that Hilton is used to, courtesy of Stavros Niarchos and many, many others.

Hilton's awful mother was later seen pacing the hallways, telling reporters, "I'm paralyzed right now." We're sure she can grab a drink with Dina Lohan at the World's Worst Parenting bar and feel better, though.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Katherine Heigl is in the news these days for starring on a hit show and contributing to hilarious Knocked Up quotes from this summer's funniest movie.

Paris Hilton is in the news these days for being a spoiled former jailbird that got released from prison because the system caters to those with money.

A Trashy Shopper

In other words: These two stars are a tad different from one another.

But not always. As you can see below, each seems to go for the same celebrity fashion look from time to time.

We assume Heigl has no interest in resembling Hilton in any way, but she may have been too distracted by the recent Isaiah Washington mess to think much about her wardrobe. That's okay, though.

We're sure Seth Rogen would still do her.

Paris, meanwhile, sucks more than Antonella Barba. But she also has other things to worry about aside from wearing the same outfit as a fellow celeb.

After all, she's totally mentally unstable, remember?

by Mischalova at . Comments

Seeing actual Jayden James photos? Shocking.

Learning that Paris Hilton doesn't have a real medical disorder? Not remotely surprising.

Supernatural Skank

TMZ has learned that the condition that enabled Hilton to be released very early from prison was purely psychological - and it was diagnosed by a psychiatrist that has invented mental problems for the heiress in the past.

Indeed, Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail each of the last two days. We're told after Sophy's visit yesterday, word was passed to the sheriff that Hilton's mental state was more fragile than the brittle bones of friend Nicole Richie.

So it bears repeating: The reason for releasing Paris Hilton from jail had nothing to do with any physical issue. It was purely in her head.

But, wait, there's more absurdity! Last month, on the eve of a trial in which Hilton was accused of slandering socialite Zeta Graph, Dr. Sophy told the judge that Hilton was "emotionally distraught and traumatized" over her jail sentence, which prevented her from participating in a meaningful defense.

That trial was put on hold until August, just enough time to Sophy's checks from the Hiltons to clear, we're sure.

This guy is shadier than Spencer Pratt and Ray J put together.

Paris Hilton Biography

Ho Train On Us Weekly Cover Paris Hilton is a party host, bad actress, singer, model and painfully annoying skank based in Southern California. This former A-list... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York, New York
Full Name
Paris Whitney Hilton

Paris Hilton Quotes

We want to stay together forever. I wouldn't do a Vegas [wedding]. I don't know where or when but I do want it to be romantic.

Paris Hilton [on Benji Madden]

He's my best friend. He's just different from any guy that I've ever been with. I just trust him completely, and I know that he'd be there for me, no matter what.

Paris Hilton [on Benji Madden]
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