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Even if you took out the two human beings he killed, O.J. Simpson's rap sheet would be really frickin' long. Seriously, the dude is not un-insane.

With this general sentiment in mind, a Las Vegas prosecutor kicked off OJ's trial yesterday by urging the jury to lock him up for... well, anything.

The Juice - who recently got his ass kicked by his own daughter, Arnelle, along with girlfriend Christie Prody - is on trial for kidnapping and robbery.

But in his opening statement, Clark County Chief Deputy District Attorney Christopher Owens not-so-subtly turned this into a referendum on Simpson overall, with multiple allusions to the 1994 double murder he somehow got away with:

"Ladies and gentlemen, you are the jurors in this case, and the final story is going to be told by you. You will be able to write that final chapter, the chapter of arrogance and hypocrisy, and that will be the true verdict. A verdict you can feel good about."

O.J. Simpson looks remarkably non-homocidal as his latest trial commences.

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In case you thought his life couldn't get any sketchier, O.J. Simpson's daughter apparently went berserk, assaulting O.J. and girlfriend Christie Prody!

Cops were called to the home of the disgraced football player and Naked Gun star after he was brutally attacked by his eldest daughter, Arnelle.

O.J. Simpson Mug Shot III

"He was cut on the back of his head, blood was coming out the side of his mouth and his lip was cut," a source told The National Enquirer.

OJ Simpson was feuding with Arnelle Simpson about her mom, Marquerite - OJ's first wife, who has been working at Walmart just to make ends meet because OJ gives her no money. OJ does support girlfriend Christie Prody, natch.

As tension mounted, Arnelle lashed out at OJ for ditching Marquerite, his high school sweetheart, to marry Nicole Brown, whom Simpson later killed.

He was acquitted of Nicole's murder in 1995, although he was found liable for her death in a civil suit a year later. Makes perfect sense, we know.

In a rage, Arnelle shoved O.J. violently into a glass cupboard. Christie Prody tried to intervene and she was subsequently attacked as well.

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O.J. Simpson turns 61 today.

We would wish him a happy birthday, but there's nothing to be happy about unless this is the last one he celebrates outside a prison cell (or at all).

But in spite of the fact that we'd love to see the Juice squeezed to death by the judicial system, few can top O.J. in terms of entertainment value.

So here's our mini-tribute to the football hall-of-famer / actor / murderer / kidnapper / Christie Prody boyfriend. Click to enlarge any pics:

When does your favorite star celebrate another year of not kicking a bucket of some kind? Check with our celebrity birthdays calendar and see!

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One would think that after killing people and somehow walking away a free man, O.J. Simpson would flee the U.S. for good.

Or at least lay a little bit low.

It's The Juice!

Instead, The Juice kidnaps and robs sports memorabilia dealers who have his stuff, gets arrested - and now (drum roll please) plays the victim!

We have no idea why, but Simpson was in Fargo, N.D., when he spilled his guts to Don Haney of Mighty 790 radio yesterday in a terrific rant.

O.J. Simpson in his most familiar environment - a courtroom.

After saying "I believe in juries," and stating that he believes he will get off (and we're not talking about anything Christie Prody might be involved in), O.J. Simpson maintained that his two alleged victims are actually on his side and that he's the victim of the legal system - they're prosecuting him only because of his name.

The best quote: "If I was anybody else, I wouldn't be going to court ... I've got a dollar sign on my back and a bulls eye on my front."

Pack lightly, O.J. The weather's warm where you're headed.

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We know, not exactly breaking news here. But a new book from a former manager alleges that a groggy O.J. Simpson, high on marijuana, confessed to double murder.

Mike Gilbert, a memorabilia dealer, also claims that he helped his former friend wiggle out of the murder charges by suggesting how to bloat his hands so they wouldn't fit the notorious bloody gloves.

O.J. Mugshot

Gilbert's book, How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder: The Shocking Inside Story of Violence, Loyalty, Regret and Remorse, is due in stores Monday.

He said Simpson smoked pot and taken a sleeping pill and was drinking beer when he confided at his home in Los Angeles' Brentwood neighborhood weeks after his trial what happened that infamous night of June 12, 1994.

As he tells it, O.J. Simpson said he went to his ex-wife's condominium but did not bring a knife with him. Simpson told him that his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, had one in her hand when she opened the door.

In a soft mumble, Simpson told him: "If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand ... she'd still be alive."

Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman were stabbed to death at the entrance to her condominium. The knife was never found.

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O.J. Simpson will stop at nothing.

The former Heisman Trophy winner, NFL star and actor had a pretty good life going until 1994, when he killed his ex-wife and her friend.

O.J. Mugshot

He somehow beat the rap for this, and in turn, might have lived out his days in seclusion, laughing at the legal system, but no, not O.J. Simpson.

In a shameless attempt to cash in, O.J. authored a book entitled If I Did It - a "hypothetical" account of the gruesome double-murder.

Simpson has had police called to his house for domestic incidents involving his girlfriend Christie Prody (yes, someone dates O.J.) several times.

He has been found guilty of pirating DirecTV, guilty of owing over $1.4 million in past income taxes, and just last year, was arrested for robbing peeps in Vegas.

OJ Simpson: From courtroom to board room?

It should come as a surprise to no one, then, that he has reportedly asked Donald Trump to be a part of next season's Celebrity Apprentice.

"Simpson really wants to do it. Trump and NBC are thinking about it, but are being very cautious," a source told the New York Post.

"There's a certain amount of heat associated with Simpson."

Yes. Yes there is. Such as when O.J. told his fellow thugs to "get some heat" and go rob the sports paraphernalia dealers who had "his" stuff.

We know Donald Trump is all about publicity, but we sincerely hope there's a conscience somewhere beneath the bad comb-over.

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Miami police say O.J. Simpson's girlfriend, Christie Prody, suffered bruises and head injuries on Monday - but it was because of a fall - and not at the hand of the Juice, as several celebrity gossip sources speculated.

Hey, the guy did beat up various wives and kill one of them, so in this case, we can understand why The National Enquirer might jump the gun.

O.J. Simpson Mug Shot III

The Enquirer reported that O.J. Simpson was being investigated as Christie Prody was taken to a Miami hospital with head trauma and bruising.

According to the Enquirer, investigators said from the damage to Christie Prody's body, they believe she was beaten up hard. One detective even said he has never seen such severe bruises on a woman before.

Christie Prody: O.J. Simpson's girlfriend for years. Why? Who knows.

The Miami Police were alerted by hospital authorities after doctors found that Christie Prody was bleeding from her brain â€" and also had numerous, large bruises and abrasions on her face, arms, legs and buttocks.

But cops later told the celebrity news site TMZ that Prody's injuries appear to be "consistent" with a fall she supposedly took "at a gas station."

They don't consider this a criminal case, and that O.J. was never a suspect.

Prody, who has a long rap sheet of her own, has been going out with this guy for years and hasn't turned up dead, so we'd consider the relationship a success.

As for O.J. Simpson, his recent arrest for violation of bail was aired on the MyNetwork series Jail. He's due in Las Vegas for his robbery case in April.

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O.J. Simpson, who had a reasonably successful stint as an TV NFL reporter, star of some memorable commercials, and as a movie actor before sullying his reputation by killing two people, is reportedly going to be starring on a new TV show.

It's probably not the kind of show business move he'd prefer.

O.J. Mugshot

Instead, O.J. Simpson's January arrest in Las Vegas will be featured on the MyNetwork TV program Jail, airing Tuesday at 9 p.m.

"I'm baaaaack," Simpson, 60, jokes as he enters the Clark County Detention Center in one of two new promo clips from the show.

Here's the first:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8W127m8DJc[/youtube]

"I didn't expect to be back here so soon," the Juice said, chatting amiably with his jailers as he was processed on charges of violating his bail stemming from a September 2007 kidnapping and armed robbery bust.

OJ Simpson has pleaded not guilty in that case, which involved him and seedy co-defendants allegedly kidnapping and robbing sports memorabilia dealers.

"Overall, I am feeling great today," Simpson tells the Las Vegas officers as he is being processed. "I had a poker game tonight at my house that I was hosting and today I finally found my golf swing - it was a good day."

Replies a police sergeant: "Until you got that knock on the door?"

"They must have known I was having too good a time," Simpson said.

Sort of speaks for itself, doesn't it? Follow the jump for the second clip of OJ Simpson chatting up peeps during his arrest...

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O.J. Simpson is currently in custody in Florida on allegations that he violated terms of his bail in a Las Vegas armed robbery case, according to CNN.

Simpson was to go before a judge Wednesday at the request of Clark County District Attorney David Roger. The prosecutor was filing a motion Friday to revoke Simpson's bail, according to a court clerk.

O.J. Mugshot

"We understand he's in the custody of his bail bondsman in Florida right now, and will be brought to Las Vegas for the hearing," said court clerk Elana Pitaro.

A bondsman at You Ring We Spring bail bonds declined comment.

OJ Simpson was freed September 19 on $125,000 bail following his arrest on allegations that he and several "friends" burst into a Las Vegas hotel room and robbed two sports memorabilia dealers at gunpoint.

OJ Simpson's latest round of trouble has him in custody yet again.

Simpson is in hot water because he allegedly called one of his co-defendants in the Las Vegas armed robbery case, a court official said. Identifying himself as "Miguel," O.J. telephoned Clarence "C.J." Stewart on November 16 and expressed frustration with Stewart's testimony at a preliminary hearing.

A bail bondsman is a person or company that pledges money as collateral (bail), guaranteeing the appearance of a criminal defendant in court.

Bondsmen generally charge a fee of 5-10 percent of the total amount of the bail required in order to post a bond for the defendant.

Apparently - details remain scarce - O.J. Simpson's bail was posted by a such a company, which is now holding him on violation of the terms of his bail.

O.J. Simpson, 60, pleaded not guilty to 12 criminal counts in connection with what prosecutors contend was a kidnapping and armed robbery.

At a November preliminary hearing, a judge ordered the former football great and two of his co-defendants to stand trial on the charges.

Prosecutors allege Simpson and five men burst into a room at the Palace Station Hotel and held two memorabilia dealers against their will.

Simpson said he was merely taking back items that belonged to him, but one of the two alleged victims described it as a "military-style invasion."

The case will likely hinge on whether there were guns involved. But one of the men who aided O.J. - and subsequently testified against him in exchange for a plea bargain - said the Juice wanted to "get some heat."

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So many celebrity mug shots, so little time. Some of 2007's sensational arrests of Hollywood stars were so memorable, it feels as though they happened yesterday.

Well, with the exception of Michelle Rodriguez, none of the celebrity mug shots in our growing gallery were actually taken yesterday. But let's take a look back at some of the best booking photos from 2007. You'll see some themes developing ...

Ho Train Edition

What it year it was for the club circuit. Paris Hilton. Lindsay Lohan. Nicole Richie. Three of Hollywood's biggest celebrities (and wastes of space), all arrested in a 12-month span. Britney Spears is all that's missing from this Ho Train police lineup, after somehow managing not to get busted in '07. Opening odds for '08 - 9:8.

  • Paris Hilton Mug Shot
  • Nicole Richie Mug Shot: Reloaded!
  • Lindsay Lohan Mug Shot

Reality TV Edition

Former American Idol reject Jessica Sierra not only got arrested this year, but she is apparently pregnant, and starring in a sex tape. That's one way to get back in the celebrity gossip magazines! Meanwhile, former Laguna Beach stars Jason Wahler (assault, assault) and Jessica Smith (DUI) both had their share of legal woes...

  • Jessica Sierra Mugshot
  • Jessica Smith Mug Shot

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O.J. Simpson Biography

O.J. Mugshot O.J. Simpson is a former Heisman Trophy winner, NFL Hall of Famer and murderer hailing from San Francisco, California. The football star... More »
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O.J. Simpson
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