by Free Britney at . Comments

MTV's Jersey Shore returned with an all-new, festive, New Year's Eve episode last night, and lucky for you, The Hollywood Gossip has its weekly rundown.

Below, we break down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode five, "Just Another Day at the Shore," awarding and deducting points.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie cannot believe that while the rest of the gang tends to Snooki, who got knocked out in the previous episode, Mike is still trolling for chicks out on the boardwalk. Or, as Ronnie put it, "The Situation's creepin'." Plus 8.

One last note on the fight. Brad Ferro is a moron who should never have hit Snooki. But when you scream explatives at someone and flick drinks in his face, well, you can't say it was totally unprovoked. We're just saying, Snook. Minus 4.

These guys swear. A lot. Even in situations that don't really require profane language. There was a 20-second stretch of basically one long bleep. Plus 3.

Nice pit stains, JWOWW. Minus 2.

Ronnie, the biggest, most juiced up guido of them all, is a softie at heart and a total mama's boy who just wants his family to like Sam. Who knew?! Plus 4.

Tending to Snooki

THE AFTERMATH: The gang tends to Schnookems.

Snooki doesn't eat lobster because "they're alive when you kill it." Plus 3.

The girls go tanning. At a salon. In the summer. At the beach. Minus 3.

On a warm day, the gang goes on a boat. Plus 2 for conjuring up images of Andy Samberg and T-Pain. Plus 4 more because the boat is named "Forgetaboutit."

Pauly D boasts that his hair is waterproof and windproof. Impressive, but we're calling it Even because no one, not even the great DJ Pauly D, needs that much gel.

JWOWW does not come across well in this episode. A territorial animal who goes out looking to start fights, she belongs on the National Geographic Channel. Minus 7.

Mike, Vinny and Pauly D put the moves on a group of three girls, who Pauly D notes (with a certain element of surprise, but also with respect) are nice girls who actually want to be treated like human beings and not whores. Plus 8.

Really, JWOWW's boyfriend? Flowers? You can do better man. Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Vinny hooking up with his boss' girlfriend. Vinny had done very little this season so far, and this all-out d!ck move should lead to some quality drama. Plus 1 more for Vinny christening Pauly D "the ultimate guido."

TOTAL: +18! SEASON: +37! This was probably our favorite episode so far, because it didn't stick to one overdramatic story. We got to see the guidos and guidettes do their thing and amuse us in many different scenarios. Until next week ...

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Advertisers, natives of Seaside Heights, N.J., and most people with morals hate it, but Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi isn't worried about negative stereotypes.

When Steppin' Out magazine asked "Snooki" what she would say to all the companies who have pulled ads from the controversial MTV show, she stated:

"I just have one thing to say to Domino's, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there: F**k you! If you don't want to watch, then don't watch."

Snooki added: "Just shut the hell up! I'm serious... F**k you!"

You can see how she ended up getting punched in the face. We're not saying she deserved it, just that you can see where Brad Ferro was coming from.

Snooki Photo

Snooki calls herself "the f*%king Princess of Poughkeepsie." Enough said.

UNICO, the Italian-American organization that claims the show perpetuates negative stereotypes, plans to keep pressuring sponsors to boycott the show.

"She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans. She is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!" UNICO said of Snooki in a statement.

No comment.

Italian-American groups and advertisers aren't the only ones pissed. Even the New Jersey town that's home to the series wants nothing to do with it.

Tomorrow night, they'll have even more Jersey Shore quotes to get offended by. The show returns in its usual, Thursday time slot at 10 p.m. on MTV.

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Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi from Jersey Shore, stopped by the Weekend Update desk on Saturday Night Live last night to share her insight on various topics.

The Princess of Poughkeepsie talked about this week's episode, which featured her getting knocked the f*%k out, as well as the traits she looks for in a guido.

The best thing about this faux interview with Snooki (played by SNL's Bobby Moynihan) is news anchor Seth Meyers trying to keep a straight face throughout.

Jersey Shore on Weekend Update

We can sympathize with Seth, given that, well, this is Jersey Shore. The SNL spoof was classic in that it only slightly exaggerates the absurdity of the real show.

Also making a brief cameo was The Situation (Mike Sorrentino, played by Bill Hader), showing off his seriously ripped abs, gold chains and slicked-back hair.

It's hard to even look at "Snooki" without bursting out laughing, so wait until you hear the audio of this scintillating Q&A. Check out the video after the jump ...

Continue Reading...

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After our review of last week's Jersey Shore received a positive response (well, mostly), The Hollywood Gossip is making reviews of the show a weekly thing.

Below, we break down all the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode four, "Fade to Black," awarding and deducting points as we deem fit.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie reminds us of a high-strung Peter Andre on steroids. Plus 4.

When Sammi finds out Jenni and Ronnie went home together, she assumes they're hooking up and says she will "knock a b!tch up!" She's all talk. Minus 3.

After they make up, Ronnie confesses his love (sort of) for Sammi, and they get. It. On. We know because they admit it. Openly. Sammi says "of course" they had sex, and Ronnie says they totally "smooshed." Plus 4 for the use of "smooshed."

Pauly D on first impressions: "You got to stay fresh. Fresh haircut. Fresh outfit. Fresh tan. Just fresh." Plus 2 for that deodorant slogan waiting to happen.

A word on Mike's third-person use of his nickname, "The Situation." It was funny the first 12 times, but saying it like twice per sentence? Overkill. Minus 3.

Mike and Pauly D spend the episode trying to bag as many trash bags as possible. Plus 6 for Pauly taking "the grenade" for the team, and for being very polite when he discovered he couldn't score with that girl because of her period.

Pauly D and The Situation

THE SITUATION AND DJ PAULY D: Caption rendered unnecessary.

Jenni (JWOWW) and her boyfriend fight on the phone over her hookup with Pauly. Minus 2 for boredom and Minus 2 more for constant use of the weird duck phone.

Plus 3 for the best excuse ever, courtesy of Snooki. Jenni was not being a trash bag of her own free will that night: house music made her do it. We've all been there.

Speaking of Snooki, you know this night is gonna get ugly when she wears a belt as a skirt (censorship required!). Minus 5 for the skank factor (even for this show).

Snooki's reply to her mom's observation that the beach looks dirty? "It's the Jersey Shore." Plus 6 for the inevitable press release from N.J.'s tourism department.

You knew it was coming: A guido named Brad Ferro yoinks one of the housemates' drinks. Snooki confronts him. Her a$$ proceeds to get knocked the f*%k out by this lunatic. Minus 9 for punching a chick, even one as annoying as Snooki.

Plus 5 for MTV pulling the Snooki sucker punch. Given Snooki's personality and the over-the-top nature of the show, it might seem funny (at least to the type of person who cracks up during a preview for I Am Sam), but it's no laughing matter.

TOTAL: +6! SEASON: +19! Still entertaining, and the Snooki drama made it a must-see, but the shore-ites annoyed us more than charmed us this week. What do you think? Is the novelty wearing off already or are you hooked?

by Free Britney at . Comments

Gym teacher Brad Ferro punched Snooki (Nicole Pilozzi) in the face in what has become the most infamous scene from Jersey Shore, even though it hasn't aired yet (it was supposed to tonight) and MTV decided to edit out the brutal KO.

Now he wants her to know he's sorry.

"I am sick to my stomach," Brad Ferro tells the New York Post. "I can''t believe I'd ever do anything like that. I was raised to act in a respectful manner to women."

"I deeply regret what happened," he says of punching Snooki, which you can still see online if you must. "Nobody deserves that. That was not the real Brad Ferro."

Snooki Polizzi

Ferro was arrested back on August 19 after knocking Nicole Polizzi the f*%k out at the Beachcomber Bar & Grill in Seaside Heights, N.J., and was suspended from his job.

He also enrolled in anger management courses. That's a good thing.

Brad, who admits he "drank way too much" that night, says that just days before, he taught his students about bad decisions and the dangers of alcohol abuse.

"I remember very little from the incident," Ferro says. "It's all fuzzy. I remember a punch ... I don't remember who or why, but I do remember being arrested."

Ferro's lawyer Andrew Siben says his client has learned his lesson and "should be given a second chance to show he is a person of much higher character."

Jersey Shore airs tonight, sans Snooki punch, on MTV at 10 p.m.

Brad Ferro Mug Shots

Brad Ferro punched Snooki's lights out this summer.

The worst part: the attack was all over a drink. Ferro tried to take Snooki's cocktail and when she yelled at him for it, he retaliated ... with a fist. Loser.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore's Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, may be living the dream as a newly-minted MTV reality star, but she's still gone through some hard knocks lately.

We're not talking about getting punched in the face by a dude either.

Snooki says she just got fired from her job after she told her boss she needed some time off to head to the West Coast at the end of last week for PR.

"I was a receptionist at a corporation," Snooki says. "I was getting decent money, like $13 an hour. I got fired when I asked for time off to go to L.A."

But it was for the best: "She knew I'd be crazy," she said of her boss.

Also crazy? The amount of phone calls she's gotten since Jersey Shore premiered: "A lot of people are calling my house. I've gotten so many texts."

The Jersey Shore madness returns at 10 p.m. tonight.

Snooki, along with co-stars The Situation, Pauly D and JWoww, said they met The Hills star Kristin Cavallari while nightclubbing over the weekend.

"She told us not to read stuff online," The Situation said. "I don't do that. Not that I care what people think, but you know people aren't gonna like you."

Come on, Mike. We love you, dog!

As Snooki puts it, "You're going to have haters and you're going to have lovers." Speaking of lovers, JWoww tells us she is still dating the same guy.

The one she was with when she first went on the show. In fact, they recently moved in together. Guess things didn't work out with Ronnie. Sad.

by Free Britney at . Comments

MTV’s Jersey Shore is rapidly becoming America’s latest guilty pleasure - and not just for the cast's liberal use of hair gel and use of borderline offensive terms.

For these addictively trashy twenty-somethings, it's all about lookin' good. Livin' La Vida Guido may look like a joyride, but believe Pauly D, it takes some work.

"A guy from [the] Jersey Shore is a guy that is looking good, feeling confident, taking care of himself,” DJ Pauly D said of his now-infamous attire and hair.

"It takes me 25 minutes to get it right. Greatness takes time, and this hair right here is greatness. I have it down to a tee, but this is a process right here.”

You heard it here, folks. Greatness takes time.

Jersey Shore's The Situation, J-WOWW, Snooki and Pauly D.

"At the end of the day, it’s not about Italians coming together, it’s about a lifestyle,” says Jenni Farley (aka "J-WOWW") “We all live by a certain lifestyle."

"It's all about the hair, the makeup, the tans, being fit. It’s all preparation for the summer." Seconds Snooki (aka "Nicole Pilozzi"): "I look good in anything!"

As for critics who bash the show's Italian-American stereotyping, Mike Sorrentino (aka "The Situation") asks that fans of Jersey Shore show a little patience.

"It’s only the first episode and we’re only seven days in, so you have to give us a chance," says the Staten Island native. "You can’t judge a book by its cover."

No but with this show, you can come pretty close. If you haven't seen it, it's exactly as bad as you think it is ... but that doesn't mean it's not entertaining!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Jersey Shore has only aired three episodes, but it's already generating massive amounts of controversy - even in episodes that haven't even aired yet.

MTV has decided to pull footage of next week's situation - not The Situation - in which Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gets punched in the face ... by a man.

Network execs ordered the cuts after downloaded copies of Thursday night's on-air Jersey Shore promo showing the sucker-punch caused a stir online.

Calling it a sucker punch may not even be an accurate term, actually, since the meathead is looking Nicole Polizzi in the face as he frickin' levels her.

"What happened to Snooki was a crime and obviously extremely disturbing," MTV said in a statement regarding its decision to pull the punch scene.

Snooki gets punched on next week's Jersey Shore.

"After hearing from our viewers and seeing how the video footage has been taken out of context not to show the severity of this act or resulting consequences, MTV has decided not to air Snooki being physically punched in the face."

The fight and its aftermath will be addressed, though, along with an ad sponsored by the loveisrespect and Teen Dating Abuse Helpline organization.

An MTV rep says no further cuts are planned (though the show interestingly stopped using the terms "guido" and "guidette" on this week's episode).

Dan Ferro, a Queens, N.Y., gym teacher, was the guy who hit Snooki, and was arrested on the spot. He was found guilty of assault, fined, sentenced to anger management counseling and given a six-month suspended jail term if he stays clean.

Here's the part of next week's Jersey Shore promo showing Snooki getting closed-fist cocked. It's rough. The guy may have gotten off too easily ...

Snooki Biography

Snooki Polizzi Nicole Polizzi is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. She fake-tans and acts like a bit of a skank. Then again that sums up the whole... More »
Birthplace
Poughkeepsie, New York
Full Name
Snooki
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