Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi Jersey Shore

Silly us. We will never again doubt Jersey Shore's ability to lower the bar. Just when you think it cannot get more tasteless or hilarious, you are proven wrong.

Not one week goes by that we, as viewers, aren't introduced to fist fights, terrible grammar, pseudonyms for bodily functions and thoroughly revolting situations.

As always, THG's here to break down all the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's installment of the show in its patented +/- recap below ...

JWoww and her Guido Du Jour have it out.

Plus 9 for the stomach-churning double entendre of the episode title, "Dirty Pad."

JWoww and her man solve arguments by picking each other’s noses. Minus 2.

Angelina, Ron and Sam take Jose out for his birthday. Ron: "Jose is definitely getting played. (pause) Like a piano. He's getting cheated on by a dirty piano." Plus 11.

Angelina takes Jose into the Smush Room but refuses to hook up with him. Minus 3. Then she lies about hooking up with him in the Smush Room. Minus 4 more.

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UM, HELLO!? Angelina Pivarnick was the most hated member of the Jersey Shore cast to begin with, but may be sinking to even greater depths now.

What a difference a few weeks make on the Shore. Jeff Miranda, who proposed to Snooki just weeks ago, is now reportedly hitting it with Angeliner.

The pair had dinner plans Sunday night at Rio Rodizio in Union, N.J., just one night after the two were spotted "hanging out" at the 118 Lounge.

SMUSH IT REAL GOOD: Jeff apparently wants to ... weird.

"Yeah, I was at 118 Lounge last night with Angelina," Miranda said, not elaborating on whether Pivarnick is or will be DTF. "We were hanging out."

It's amazing these two are getting along after a tumultuous relationship that featured Angelina roughed him up in a New York strip club melee.

But what's one microphone to the face between friends looking to mutually stick it to Snooki - and each other, in a different manner of speaking?

No word on when J-Woww plans to fight both simultaneously. If there's one thing you can count on, it's her throwing down for her girl. And taking HGH.

They've gotten their share of flak, but the cast of Jersey Shore does not buy into criticism that their show is bad for the Garden State, or society in general.

Vinny Guadagnino says he is used to it, but it still bothers him.

Jersey Shore: Bad for society or harmless fun? [Photo: Splash News Online]

"One time we were in a bar and a guy walked by and said, 'You are everything that is wrong with this country today,'" he recalls. "I was taken aback. There's the economy, poverty, equal rights - and Jersey Shore is the worst thing?"

Hard to argue with that, but the show has haters in high places.

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has said the MTV show is bad for the state, but Vin says "I think the Jersey Shore is awesome. It's fun, and it's entertaining."

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi insists they don't just party all the time, either.

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Last night on Jersey Shore, the fallout from Vinny's smushing session with Angelina lingered. Meanwhile, Situation exceeded even his own standards for creepiness.

Airing as the MTV Video Music Awards lead-in, the special Sunday episode did not lack for humor, drama or sleaziness. These people need to be tested. Now.

As always, THG is here to break down some of the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from "All in the Family" in its patented plus-minus recap below ...

Poor Jose. Fool's getting straight up played by Angelina.

Angelina smushing Vinny while sort of dating Jose pissed off everyone in the house. Except Ronnie, who says she's got game. Hey, he's not a hypocrite! Plus 8.

The Situation is incredulous, calling her "the Staten Island Ferry ... everybody gets a ride, and it's free." LOL, but Minus 3, because "his boy" Ron is the same.

Snooki on Ange: "You had my sloppy seconds. Good for you. And obviously you're loosey goosey because he got in it." So wrong on so many levels. Minus 19.

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"I don't even know. Who knows, dog. That's the first time. That's the first time that has happened. But I'm a trooper! I'm The Situation, man!" - The Situation

What was Mike referring to in one of our favorite Jersey Shore quotes from last night? Hooking up with a chick at the club that was probably a dude, of course.

These things happen down at the shore. What else happened on Thursday's episode? Let's find out in THG's exclusive point-system recap of "Not So Shore" ...

The Situation works his game. With a man.

After hooking up with Vinny, Snooki says it was like "putting a watermelon in a pinhole." Umm. Minus 12 for the imagery of a watermelon and Snooki's pinhole.

Vinny likely contracts pink eye (again). Pauly D's diagnosis: "Your eyebrows are so bushy, they collect so much more bacteria than normal eyes would." Plus 9.

Speaking of Pauly D, dude got so freaking hammered he had to be helped into bed. Who does this guy think he is, Ronnie? Wash, because we still love Pauly.

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The mercurial Angelina Pivarnick apparently smashed a microphone in the face of Snooki’s boyfriend and threw drinks at him in a strip club brawl last night.

Just another day at the Jersey Shore ... or Manhattan, as it were.

Angelina was filming some web broadcast for Shovio at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club when Snooki’s boyfriend, Jeff Miranda showed up unannounced.

Angelina had words for - and threw drinks at - of Jeff Miranda. Snooki's boyfriend apparently bore the brunt of a meltdown. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The Iraq War veteran, who proposed to Snooki on the cover of Steppin' Out magazine, began loudly accusing her co-star of trashing his reputation.

The pair has attacked each other publicly in the past, with Angelina questioning Jeff's motives and claiming he tried to date her as well as Snooki.

Miranda told the show’s host, Chaunce Hayden, that he had text messages from Angelina Pivarnick that he said proved she was involved with him.

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"I'm definitely not a saint. If I walked into a church, I'd probably burst into flames to be honest with you ... But I think that I can probably talk my way out of the hole I dug. I mean, how deep is a grave?" - Ronnie Magro

The great thing about this line, one of many great Jersey Shore quotes from last night's episode, is that Ron probably really believed it. Sammi is that pathetic.

Did he succeed? Let's find out in THG's Jersey Shore point-system recap ...

The Situation works his game during an MVP night.

During Gay Pride Week in Miami, JWoww and Snooki were down to celebrate: "Gay Pride, yay!" exclaimed Snooki. Plus 2 for not seriously offending anyone there!

After defending her evening out by saying those guys are not attracted to vagina, Snook dispatched Emilio Masella for good. JWoww clapped, as did we. Plus 7.

The Situation brings home two girls, but had invited two others over earlier. Now it's a 4-on-3 Situation in this MVP night ... with one grenade! Boom! Minus 5.

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Last night's Jersey Shore paled in comparison to last week's for the simple fact that the tired act that is Ronnie and Sammi overshadowed everything else.

Don't get us wrong, there were plenty of absurd scenes and Jersey Shore quotes to make it worth our while, but these two need to get their act together.

If Sammi weren't so painful, maybe we'd be more sympathetic to how Ron treats her. Even her own friends seem to be somewhat on the fence about it.

What should have been the highlight of the week - Snooki and Emilio - took a back seat to played-out drama even their castmates are sick of by now.

How did it all go down in Season 2, Episode 4? THG's got it covered ...

When Snooki called boyfriend Emilio Masella in last week's episode, she and Vinny were up to no good. Now the gorilla juicehead turns the tables. Plus 5.

Snooki & Co. to all guys: You're douchebags and we hate you!

Drunk out of his mind, Emilio calls, mistakes JWoww for voicemail, tells Snooks he f*%ked some girl, then says he was kidding. Great joke man. Minus 6.

Snooki: "Guys are douchebags and I hate them all. They don't know how to treat women ... I feel like this is why the lesbian rate is going up in this country." Plus 3.

J-Woww to Emilio: "I will call the cops on you if you call again or I will take the next flight out to f*%kin' New York to beat your ass." She's probably serious. Plus 4.

The anti-Emilio tirade concludes with J-Woww calling him a "drunk skank with no job" (LOL) and Snooki telling out a Home Alone style scream. A tad much. Wash.

Enraged, the girls all break $h!t. Not cool, but we've been there, so Minus only 2. The female empowerment team now turns its attention from Emilio to Ronnie.

Will anyone in the house snitch on Ronnie? Does Sammi have a right to know? Does anyone care? Minus 18 because ... no. But Plus 4 for the use of "motorboat."

Ronnie and Sammi share a tender moment in between breakups.

We'll say this for Ronnie Magro: He is definitely going all in, cuddling with his lame girl and whispering sweet nothings one minute, dropping c- and f-bombs and flirting with alcohol poisoning the next. No in between. Plus 6.

Ron, in a rare moment of sobriety: "I don't like tests, that's why I didn't go to college... don't test me, 'cause I will fail a majority of the time." Yes you will. Minus 4. 

Angelina farts in Snooki's face. On television. Minus 3.

The Situation: "You need to on your tip-top game with your GTL to stay FTD to get the girls to DTF in MIA ... say that 5 times fast." Translation, anyone? Plus 9.

Gelato shop gems: Vinny asking if there's a butter face flavor, and this from Pauly D: "She had summer teeth. Some are like this... some are like that." Plus 8.

Snooki and J-Woww write an "anonymous" note to Sammi. On a reality show. Minus 12. They did think far enough ahead to write "breasts" in the note - Snooki and JWoww would say "t!ts" so she'll totally never suspect them - so Plus 5.

TOTAL: -1. SEASON: +62.

Creepin': adj. 1. To sneak about unnoticed and in mysterious fashion; typically but not necessarily to convey the message that one is a sexual being. 2. To cheat.

Last night on Jersey Shore, Ronnie continued his sleazy, drunken antics, Angelina sort of made up with peeps and Vinny may have done the unthinkable.

How did it all play out in episode three of season two? THG's got it covered ...

Steamed over her "brother" being slapped in the face three times. JWoww threatens to beat up Angelina since Pauly can't. What are sisters for? Plus 3.

Angelina Pivarnick claims to not remember what she did to Pauly D. Sorry, but these people are clearly not blacked out drunk EVERY night. Minus 4.

Angelina wears her trademark sneer, and sunglasses indoors.

"I didn't know being drunk and people making mistakes was that bad..." - Angelina. Hmm. She has a point. That's pretty much the premise of the show. Plus 2.

Vinny gets his fade on ... a different kind of fade. He and Ronnie go to the 'hood for haircuts. Vin is thoroughly entertaining there and at the gelato shop. Plus 5.

Snooki rocks the "Old Snook Look" for a night out, catching Vinny's eye. The poof and cleave can only foreshadow bad things. Pauly D: "Who knows." Minus 7.

The Situation is usually The Instigation, but this week was The Mediation, convincing the girls to give Angelina a chance if she "mans up." What a uniter! Plus 6.

Vinny on J-Woww: "Albert Einstein should rewrite his laws of physics and rework them around Jennie's t!ts." Point taken, but they're kinda gross, so Minus 4.

Now, for the obligatory Ronnie-Sammi drama. Minus 12, since it's both predictable and pathetic that he was creepin' at the club, then crawled in bed with her.

Did Vinny do the unthinkable? He's about to wonder the same.

Late night, Snooki is plastered, tries to call boyfriend Emilio Masella and breaks a bunch of $h!t, then ends up in bed with Vinny. Plus 11, if only for the fact that Emilio just learned this happened from the show and wants to fight Vinny.

The following night, it's guys night out: MVP style. Mike, Vinny, Pauly. The MVPs of MIA, supporting the GFF (Grenade-Free Foundation). Acronym overkill, perhaps, but we gotta admire the creativity, and they are the MVPs tonight. Plus 19.

Pauly, on Angelina wanting to tag along: "It's not MVPA." Plus 3.

Their debauchery got off to a great start by ditching Angelina when she turned around for one second, but ended up with a jacuzzi full of grenades and a game of catch with a padded bra insert. How do we even evaluate that? Eh, Plus 11.

Ronnie ditches Sam once again, gets drunk and starts creepin' on random hoes. Minus 8. Snooki and JWoww want to put an end it. Do it, girls! Plus 4.

TOTAL: +29. SEASON: +63. Follow this link for the night's Jersey Shore quotes!

Early in Season One of Jersey Shore, Angelina Pivarnick got fired from the boardwalk T-shirt shop, tossed her belongings in the trash and fled Seaside Heights.

None of the other cast members cared.

In fact, they were so apathetic about the "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" that seeing her in South Beach during the Season 2 premiere led to double-takes.

People were far from pleased. Girls in particular.

"I just feel like she didn't fit into the family," Snooki (Nicole Polizzi) told MTV News. "When I saw her in the house, when I walked into Miami, I was like, 'What is this girl doing here? Why are you here? We could have brought [Deena] in.'"

There's no love lost between Snooki and Angelina.

That would be Deena Nicole Cortese, Snooki's BFF who joined the show for Season 3. The South Beach antics are considered Season 2, before the N.J. return.

"I'm different because I'm just a personable person," Deena, Ms. Class in a Glass, said. "I don't take things to heart. People can make fun of me 'til the day I die, and I will just take it in and be like, 'Yeah, you know what? Whatever.'"

Whatever indeed. But before Deena Nicole comes aboard, we're going to have to watch the crew run Angelina Pivarnick out, and it's not gonna be pretty.

"You're a f*%king white rat and you're f*%king pale and you're nasty" was one of our favorite Snooki quotes from the Season 2 premiere a few weeks back.

"Angelina, she just didn't fit in with anybody, she didn't really open up to anybody," Snook says. "I feel that's why nobody could really connect with her. We gave her a second chance. And she did what she did with it. You're going to have to see."