Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi

Effing Snooki.

The reality star (real name Nicole Polizzi) is never one to hold back, but some of her recent comments on sex during pregnancy scream "TMI" even by her standards.

Seriously, she makes the Jessica Simpson quotes about the "big O" and "swamp ass" seem downright boring. So what's Snook's sex life like? Be forewarned.

She revealed that she'll be dreaming about boning, only to wake up and discern that her man is actually having his way with Snooki nude. Lovely.

“I’ll be having sex in my dream, and when I wake up, I’m actually having sex. Jionni’s like, doing it with me as I’m sleeping," she told Us. ”I read your baby can feel your orgasm."

"What does he think it is? Does he see, like rainbows and unicorns? The baby is probably horny. That little creep. [During sex] he’s probably like, ‘Yeah, Mommy!’”

Good luck getting that cringe-inducing image out of your head.

She also revealed that she and fiance Jionni LaValle have set up some guidelines for child-rearing: "If we’re hungover or if we’ve had two drinks, we’re not going near the kid. We’ll give him to Grandma. God forbid we drop our baby!"

Basically, Snooki and her kid won't meet until he can walk.

Snooki & JWoww, a half-hour Jersey Shore spinoff, premiered on MTV last night.

It was ... exactly what you think it was. Snooki and JWoww just livin' life!

Of course, we already knew the main storyline coming in, given that the gals are bona fide celebrity gossip staples at this point - Snook's preggers.

Still, not everything about the show, in which the Shore stars move into a Jersey City, N.J., apartment, was telegraphed. Some of it was even funny.

Let's break it down, THG +/- style!

JWoww, on prepping to put her partying ways behind her and settle down: "I'm 'bout to hit 30 in a coupla years, and that's it." Girl, you're 26. Minus 9.

The scene in which Snooki tells Jenni she's pregnant and engaged was evidently not staged, as JWoww is SURE Nicole is kidding and it's a joke. Plus 50.

"Instead of life throwing me a curveball, it threw me a spermball ... obviously." - Snooki. Clearly written for her by MTV, but still, nice one! Plus 8.

"Jionni proposed and I'm engaged," Nicole Polizzi insists. "I swear!" "No, you're not," Jenni Farley says. "You would've told me!!" She just did! Minus 1.

"Like, who lives in a firehouse?" says Snooki, re: their new digs. Firemen, or reality stars basically. Either way, looks like a pretty cool place, so Plus 5.

JWoww isn't sad about Snooki about being pregnant, just about being late for their apartment hunting and leaving her sitting on a stoop alone. Minus 5.

Plus 20 for the guy ogling the pair out of a car window.

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Snooki has a hot new set of wheels.

The Jersey Shore star, now 6-7 months pregnant, is now riding around Seaside on a motorized scooter ... for reasons unknown to humankind.

The 24-year-old was seen Tuesday in the electric three-wheeler cruisin' down the boardwalk. It's unclear if she's hurt or just sort of felt like it.

Despite the recent Snooki nude pic leak, which she (presumably) had nothing to do with, the reality star has toned down her party girl ways.

Since learning she was expecting her first child with fiance Jionni LaValle, she's nothing like the wild child who used to date that d-bag Emilio Masella.

Thank goodness for her baby boy's sake.

At one point, Pauly D was seen putting his muscles to work to lift Snooki's scooter into her new house, located next door to the gang's cesspool.

Not only did she move into her own private, quiet digs, but Snooki even exhibited more mature behavior over the weekend while out at Karma.

"She was sitting the whole time. It was very subdued of her," a source said.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Emilio Masella has, presumably, seen Snooki nude, as they dated for a bit.

He had no part in spreading that pleasure to the world, though, he says.

Snooki's former boyfriend, who has been trying to parlay their brief dalliance into fame ever since they split, is understandably a prime suspect, but he says he never saw her leaked self-portraits until they went viral.

If you missed it, the racy Snooki pics surfaced online over the weekend. You can see her by herself in various states of undress, grabbing boobs, wearing no pants and so on ... essentially, like any episode of Jersey Shore, only not in public.

Emilio Masella insists he wasn't the recipient of the pictures, which she presumably took to text to some "lucky" guy, claiming they're more recent "based on Snooki's body."

He didn't say what clues gave away the time frame.

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Snooki is not opposed to flaunting her kooka on Jersey Shore, but we're still guessing she probably didn't want these pictures of herself to go public.

It's unclear how, but the reality star looks to be the latest victim of sexy cell phone photos gone amok, with several very revealing shots leaking online.

Here's one of the least risque Snooki photos in question ...

While it's not clear who leaked the photos, the Daily Mail (UK) obtained and published them, and the 24-year-old is clearly having some fun.

She can be seen taking photos of herself clutching her girls, in a robe opened to reveal her body, as well as completely in the buff in one pic.

"Clearly these are old, personal photos that were not meant for the public," the now- pregnant Snooki's rep told E! News following the leak.

"It's a shame someone decided to leak them for obvious personal gain."

The usually loquacious reality star, who recently got engaged to (as well as knocked up by) Jionni LaValle, has yet to address the subject.

Follow the link for two more (NSFW) Snooki photos ...

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Snooki isn't taking any chances with her unborn child.

The Jersey Shore star is, as reported, moving out of the Seaside Heights cesspool we know and love and into a love shack of her very own.

RIGHT NEXT DOOR to her old stomping grounds.

The mom-to-be is taking her pregnancy very seriously, choosing to live next to the gang rather than with them because of her loud roommates.

The baby will be the first for Snook and fiance Jionni LaValle.

Loud is one word for them. Fortunately, Snooki isn't moving far - her new pad is a cozy single-family home directly adjacent to the house.

It rents for around $2,000 a month. Can you imagine going on vacation to the beach and finding out you'll living there during filming??!

Snooki's baby boy is due in early fall, so she could give birth this season if he arrives any earlier. In other news, The Situation is sober too.

Times they are a-chagin' in Seaside.

Is the Jersey Shore cast, which just started filming Season 6, staying off the sauce to stand in solidarity with pregnant Snooki and newly-detoxed Situation?

The gang hit up a bar last night in their first outing of the summer, and while Sitch was there, he reportedly didn't have anything to drink. Willpower, dog!

The Situation has said he was not in rehab for alcohol, but his trip to Cirque Lodge was indeed for both prescription drugs (which he admits) and alcohol.

The crazy part is that not only did The Situation (and a pregnant Snooki) abstain from alcohol, the entire cast did as well, in an apparent show of support.

Very cool of them if so, but obviously it's a huge contrast from prior seasons.

After all, this crew is famous for a show revolving around getting drunk and hooking up, and makes you wonder if the show has lived past its shelf life.

Incidentally, they went to the bar where Snooki got punched in Season 1.

The cast of Jersey Shore - pregnant Snooki included - was spotted Thursday by celebrity gossip photographers moving back into the Seaside Cesspool.

Does this mean she's having a change of heart about getting her own place?

The baby-bumpin' poof-head says she has no plans to stay in the house, but reports and pics from the scene say otherwise. So what's the deal?

"You know how they have to make it look for editing," a source said.

"What they will probably do is have her there for a day or two. But then she'll move into the new place. Trust me, she will not be living in that house."

A source told us not even two weeks ago that Snooki will likely live in a nearby house in Seaside Heights, N.J. Close enough to hang out, but away from the epicenter.

She has repeatedly said that the house is no place for a pregnant woman. Or anyone who values their health or brain cells even a little bit. Smart.

Snooki, who's pregnant with a boy, is due in September.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Pregnant Snooki is expecting a little bundle of joy.

A baby boy bundle.

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi exclusively tells celebrity gossip magazine In Touch that she and fiancé Jionni LaValle are ecstatic to welcome a son September.

“Everyone said I was going to have a boy, and they were right!” the Jersey Shore star revealed. No idea who was so sure, or why, but congratulations!

Snooki says she and Jionni LaValle are deciding between two baby boy names, Lorenzo or Jionni Jr., with others possibly in the mix as well.

While she’s thrilled to welcome a son, the 24-year-old admits she was kinda hoping for a mini-me. “I thought it was going to be a girl," she says.

"I was hoping it would be, because all girls want girls," Snooki says, adding, “It’s still my baby, no matter what. I’m excited either way!”

The legendary Jersey Shore wild child, who will be living in her own house in Seaside next season, is happy to put her crazy days behind her.

"I'm not going to party hard anymore, even after the baby is born," reveals the star in a moment of maturity. "Being a mom changes you."

What should Snooki name her baby boy?

Snooki is not quitting Jersey Shore, but she is evicting herself, so to speak.

She'll no longer be living in the same biohazard cesspool of disease as the rest of the cast, as she's secured her own private place nearby.

The expectant mom is taking her pregnancy seriously, choosing to live NEAR the Jersey Shore house rather than IN it for obvious reasons.

Surrounding yourself with drunken, loud roommates while pregnant? Not the best move. Surprisingly, Snooki realized this! Amazing, no?

Due in early fall, filming this summer for Snooki will mean she'll be in prime popping position. All the more reason to have a pad of her own.

Between this and a sober Situation (who just got out of rehab), it's shaping up to be the lamest, and possibly last, season of the Shore.

Who wants to see adults making mature decisions?! That's what her new reality show is for. Speaking of, watch the Snooki & JWoww trailer!

[Photo: WENN.com]