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The greatness/awfulness that is Jersey Shore is back. As advertised, Season 2 features a new shore (pity Miami Beach), but the same crazy. And then some.

We were concerned that the cast's celebrity status would diminish the show's luster, but the genuineness of these characters (for better or worse) was there.

So was the entertainment. While predictable, it was great to have The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and that other girl back.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

En route to pick up the Sitch, Pauly D sums up Northeast winters: "Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep ... Girls stay in the house." Plus 5.

A dark brown Snooki laments that she no longer tans since "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Pretty sure that doesn't take effect until like 2014. Minus 4.

Jersey Shore Season 2 Cast

JWoww and Snooki ridicule Angelina's self-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" moniker. "With what ass?" JWoww muses. A valid point. Plus 3.

No one expected Angelina Pivarnick back this season. She awkwardly greets Pauly D and The Situation, who reluctantly let her bunk with them. Minus 1.

Down south, Snooki discovers "life-changing" fried pickles. They did look good. Plus 2. That dude in the restaurant gets a Plus 1 for his fist-pump, too.

Ronnie and Sammi reunite. The tension is thick, lame and boring. This is totally going to be a drawn-out, painful Audrina-Justin kind of thing. Minus 7.

Pauly D does a quick pro-con on the Angelina situation: She's annoying and causes drama, but there could be a slow night with no chicks, so ... Plus 18.

While the guys are awkward but mostly tolerant of Angelina, the girls are ready to full-on brawl. Holy crap, JWoww needs to lay off the steroids. Minus 5.

As a general rule, it's hard not to smile at what a blast the guys are having with this show. The girls, meanwhile, just come off miserable and catty. Even.

One of the Boys

Cons: Annoying drama queen. Pros: Easily accessible.

Lending a hand scrubbing in the sink after a DISASTER involving Sammi’s FAVORITE white shorts, Snooki says "I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin' '20s." Plus 6.

An intoxicated Ronnie calls Sammi an "ungrateful c**t" and says she will "never f*%king win." Win what, you effing moron? Get over yourself. Minus 13.

Vinny sums up the night: "Ronnie's obliviated at this point." Plus 6.

The Situation: "Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life." Plus 11.

Sure enough, Ronnie mauls one of each. Minus 8 for the nasty close-up.

An additional Plus 12 for the previews of future episodes. Wow.

TOTAL: +26. Follow this link for the night's best Jersey Shore quotes!

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Snooki.

The nickname itself doesn't exactly imply a lot of activity going on upstairs, if you get what we are talking about, and Nicole Polizzi's general behavior over the past eight months or so confirms she's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Sombrero Style

This surpasses even our loftiest expectations for her stupidity, however.

Word on the street is that the Jersey Shore star accidentally Tweeted her BlackBerry PIN. Snooki has 314,171 followers. You can probably see where this is going.

The ensuing wave of messages rendered her BlackBerry useless.

NOTE: Follow THG on Twitter. Even if you really want us to Tweet about your BlackBerry PIN for some reason, we don't have nearly that many followers.

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Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is seen as a diva by many.

She says it's not true, but other cast members may still be jealous.

"Myself, Pauly, Vinny and Jenny [J-Woww], we've all stayed the same," Snooki says in the new issue of Steppin' Out. "We're the closest friends in the house."

"I trust them with my life... It hasn't gotten to our heads."

But Snook points out that herself and The Situation have become more in demand as celebs, which might foster resentment with the Sammis of the world.

SNOOKIMANIA: It's no Bieber Fever, but it's pretty big.

"I know the others want the same opportunities that Mike and I get, but we don’t control those things," she says. "I can understand why the others might be jealous. They aren't doing anything, but they should still be happy for me."

Snooki does lament her newfound fame to a degree.

"I miss my old life," she sighs. "I miss being able to be around my family and at home. I miss going out with my friends and going out to a bar. I can't do that anymore. When I try to do that, I get attacked by the fans."

Sometimes literally.

"I won't open up to anyone," she says, "except my best friend who I've known since I was 2 years old and my family and management team. That's it."

Production on Seasons 2-3 of Jersey Shore came screeching to a halt as Snooki and her pals threatened to go on strike, but it's all good now. Fist-pump!

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Talk about a battle of larger-than-life MTV personalities.

With Heidi Montag's show The Hills ending its run this week (with no sign of the plastic princess) and Snooki's hit Jersey Shore kicking off its second season July 29, the two ladies have somehow gotten themselves into a hilarious feud.

Asked by Perez Hilton if Jersey Shore would consider taking Heidi on, Snooki replied: "I will punch her in the face because I don't like her. She had too many surgeries. She looks like an alien and guidettes don't look like aliens, just saying."

LOL.

"Guidettes don't look like aliens." - Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

Asked if there's a reason she hates Heidi Montag, she said: "I don't know [if she said anything about me]. I don't research Heidi because she's nothing to me."

Great stuff. Although when asked about her own pop culture relevance, the Jersey Shore star revealed her business model, which is quite to that of The Hills diva.

"I'm trying to do as much as I can right now. I have a clothing line coming out, then my hair [line] is Snook-it, [using] hairspray and a teasing comb," she said.

"My book's coming out about how I view the world."

How Heidi views Snooki is pretty unfavorable after she caught wind of the Oompa Loompa's feelings from Perez's Tweets (click here to follow THG on Twitter).

She responded: "@PerezHilton for a girl who was punched in the face I would think she of all people would know that is not a funny thing to joke about."

The 'Tag added: "@PerezHilton You have also been punched so I would think you would understand that is crossing the line and I don't think that is funny."

Who would win in a fight?

 

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Get ready to beat up the beat.

Snooki and J-Woww, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi and Jenni Farley, a.k.a. the really short, orange girl and the behemoth with the enormous fake boobs from Jersey Shore, posed for the cameras at the Jersey Shore Soundtrack Album Release Party this week.

That's gonna be an awesome soundtrack, for sure ... this gang requires the right kind of tunes to go absolutely wild on the boardwalk. Which they will do again, beginning July 29 on MTV (follow the link to peep the Jersey Shore Season 2 trailer).

The real question, of course, is ...

Snooki and Jenni

Who would you rather ...

 

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Pour out some of your Colt 45 for the poof.

"I haven't worn the poof in awhile," Jersey Shore star Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, told E! this week of her signature look. "To be honest, I'm getting tired of it."

Does that mean it's about to be retired?

"I've been wearing it since I was 16, now everyone expects me to wear the poof," Snooki said. "I don't want to be predictable. I want to be different. That's why I've started to do the tease, the curl and pretty much just a different look."

  • Snookie Picture
  • Nicole Polizzi Photo

POOF, NO POOF: Sad as that is, at least she won't go blonde.

"Ew, no!" she said. "I am not a blonde. I may act like one, but I'm no blonde!"

So true. Meanwhile, Snooki & Co. are flying back to the Garden State to finish filming Jersey Shore (see the Season 2 trailer here) in Seaside Heights.

"We have a lot of bodyguards and cops around us because it's just going to be insane," Snooki said. "I don't even know how it's all going to work. I'll be scared if a couple of guys come and try to fight us. God forbid I get hit again."

"That's the last straw and I'm going home. It's not worth it. But I think overall we're going to be safe," she added. "We're going to have a good time."

Amen. Poof or no poof, the Jersey Shore quotes are gonna be hilarious and at least 10-12 people are gonna get arrested trying to fight these guidos.

July 29 can't get here fast enough.

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When Jersey Shore's Snooki and The Situation do battle with Erin Andrews and Maksim Chmerkovskiy in a fashion face-off ... there is no way to complete that sentence.

We're pretty sure this is unprecedented in human history. What can we say, we're trailblazers here at THG, with a considerable nod to last night's CMT Awards.

Mya Fashion Choice

All of the above scored invites to the country music event, as you probably guessed by now, and showcased their drastically different styles on the red carpet.

Proving just how country Jersey can be, the sparkling Nicole Polizzi amps up her bump while The Situation (Mike Sorrentino) covered up his abs – for once.

Meanwhile, ESPN reporter Erin Andrews rocked a skin-tight mini with her handsome date, former Dancing with the Stars partner and possible boyfriend.

Which tandem looked better? Vote below!

Who looked better at the CMT Awards?

 

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When Jersey Shore stars collide in a style showdown at the MTV Movie Awards, there's no telling who will prevail - or what ridiculous clothes they'll put on.

See The Situation vs. Pauly D from earlier.

Now, it's the ladies' turn. One cast member is Amazonian-like with ginormous fake breasts. The other? A 4'8" Oompa Loompa, complete with dark orange hue.

If the MTV Movie Awards were essentially the Twilight Awards (thank you, Robsten kiss), then Jersey Shore was a close second. Those peeps were everywhere.

Who looked better (and we use the term loosely) last night, J-Woww or Snooki? Vote below and help us determine the winner of this latest fashion clash ...

  • JWoww Action
  • Nicole 'Snooki'

Who looked better last night?

 

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Last season on Jersey Shore, Brad Ferro punched Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi.

That was very uncool. You cannot condone violence of that nature, especially perpetrated against an Oompa Loompa by a 'roided-up gym teacher.

A drink tossed in her face, tough? That we can appreciate.

The reality star, who just broke up with Emilio Masella, was doing shots with co-star J-Woww at Ocean's 10 bar in Miami Saturday at 6 p.m.

That's when some random dude approached her.

Do not f--k with the Snook.

"She was in a good mood, but this particular guy was obviously interested and she wasn't,” a witness said. "She told him flat out, 'Don't f--k with me.'"

He yoinked her drink and walked off. The situation escalated.

"I guess he provoked her by wanting an apology and she flipped out," the witness said. "Snooki threw a handful of food from her table at the guy, and then slapped him on his shoulder and his face - before tossing a plastic cup at him."

It is unclear whether this will be shown on Jersey Shore, but unknown guy retaliated by throwing his drink all over Snooki. Well worth $7.50.

J-Woww ran over screaming "What the f--k happened?" as security threw him out. Snooki said, "He took my drink!" Scintillating, as always.

After taking a few seconds to re-do her hair pouf, she continued partying with J-Woww at another location. Season Two begins July 29!

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Emilio Masella, the Gold’s Gym trainer who began dating Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi in January, is finally speaking out about the Jersey Shore star.

Namely, how he got dumped over the phone. Voicemail even.

“I told Nicole I tried out for Real World and she was upset,” Masella told People, confirming that he had in fact tried out for another MTV show.

“She thought I was using her for the show which is ridiculous.”

An argument ensued, and at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday, he received a voicemail from his angry girlfriend saying, “You’re nothing. You’re single.”

Emilio Masella was confused and tried to call her back, but she hung up on him. What he didn’t expect were the allegations of infidelity.

“I’d never cheat on her, I love her,” he says, and he is not pleased with Snooki hooking up with her costar Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.

“I talked to her yesterday and I was like, I’d never do something so low,’” he says. “She said she hadn’t hooked up with anybody either - but she freakin’ lied ... She put out there that I cheated, and now the tables have turned. It sucks.”

Indeed.

And for the record, Masella assumed she’d be supportive, not critical, of his Real World audition: “I never asked for anything. She’s the one that pulled me into the spotlight, bringing me all these places. It seems like she’s jealous.”

Masella adds that Snooki was also worried that he was hanging out with girls, although he claims 80 percent of his friends are female.

“I talked to her yesterday afternoon and I fought with her,” he says. “I [told her] she has no reason to be mad - and she hung up on me. I told her, ‘You can’t expect me to stay home and never go out if you’re gone for two months.’”

“I’m not a scumbag. She’s being jealous and spiteful. I don’t know if she [broke up with me] on purpose so she could hook up with Mike ... I knew [her time on set] was going to be crazy, but I didn’t think it was going to be this crazy.”

We just can't wait for Season 2 to air.

Snooki Biography

Snooki Polizzi Nicole Polizzi is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. She fake-tans and acts like a bit of a skank. Then again that sums up the whole... More »
Birthplace
Poughkeepsie, New York
Full Name
Snooki
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