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Can't a troll walk down the boardwalk in peace just once? Yeesh.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and BFF Deena Nicole Cortese were just minding their own business in Seaside Heights, N.J., when Snooki was encountered by a native.

Proving that everyone wants a piece of the Jersey Shore stars, or that when you see an oompa loompa in person, you can't help but try to communicate with it, the older gentleman followed her around in hopes of getting on camera.

Maybe he heard about her breakup with Emilio Masella ...

Creepin' on Snooki

JUST KIDDING! It's actually just Snooki's dad, visiting his pride and joy down in the Garden State! Come on, it was a lot funnier before you knew that, right?

Everyone gets a little homesick now and then. It's nice to see he made the trip down from Poughkeepsie. Also nice to see he's got the shirt-before-the-shirt thing goin' ...

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Vinny Guadagnino allegedly hooked up with Snooki on Jersey Shore this season. Now her gorilla juicehead ex, Emilio Masella, is allegedly ready to throw down.

After learning that a drunk Snooki (Nicole Polizzi) climbs into bed with castmate Vinny, Emilio, who was dating the reality star at the time, vows revenge.

Sombrero Style

"I am pissed, we were friends and he was messing with my girl when I was with her, it's not cool.” Emilio Masella said. “I'm so angry I want to fight him."

"I mean I just said goodbye to her a couple of days before it was shot and she climbed into his bed,” the New Jersey native reflects. “I was devastated."

Emilio met Snooki in January after the first season of the hit reality show and the pair were insperable. In April, Snooki accused him of being unfaithful.

Vinny Guadagnino recently snuggled up to his Jersey Shore co-star Snooki Polizzi. Emilio Masella, who briefly dated the reality star this year, took exception.

Back in April, Emilio got dumped via voicemail by the Snook. The indignity.

"She always accused me of cheating and I never did,” he said. “And now I had to watch her on national TV doing it. I don't deserve this, I'm a sweet guy."

Sweet he may be, but Emilio wants a piece of Vinny – for charity of course.

"I want to box him, for a charity,” said the scorned non-star. “I'm going challenge him to a charity boxing match. I want to raise money for the Chile Earthquake relief fund. I am so in love with her I want to do something for Snooki."

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Snooki is upset with President Obama, and not because of foreign policy, health care reform or even the tanning tax she whined about in the Jersey Shore premiere.

She thinks he dissed her on TV.

During Obama's visit to The View, he said he didn't know who Snooki was. Hard to blame him for trying to dodge that one, but in May, POTUS joked that the Jersey Shore star and her cohorts should be excluded from that very tanning tax.

"I know he knows who I am," Snooki told E! Online this weekend. "Why did he have to lie and say he didn't know me? He did say Snooki and JWoww about the tanning stuff and now he doesn't know who I am? He has to stop lying."

Looks like Barack's down one voter in 2012.

President Obama Photo

KISS OFF: Snooki wants the President to stop the lies.

As for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie slamming the MTV series for tarnishing the Garden's State's image, Snooki, who is actually from N.Y. State, simply said:

"He needs to come over and have a hot dog and a Corona and just chill."

But not too many Coronas. Otherwise he could end up arrested like Snooki on July 30. "I learned not to drink during the day and save it for the clubs. Have you ever been in jail? It's not fun. I never want to go there again."

We have, and can vouch for her on that one. Better to wait until at least 4 p.m. before cracking open that first cold one. Maybe she'll write this newfound wisdom down in one of her new books. Yes, that was books, plural.

"One is the Snooktionary with all my sayings," Snooki said. "The other is the story of somebody going to Seaside Heights and everything that could happen to them."

Could make a nice stocking stuffer, Barack.

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Having reflected upon her recent arrest for public drunkenness, Jersey Shore star Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki, is downplaying it, but is still taking it seriously.

Her father's reaction to Snooki getting arrested has caused her to dial back her alcohol consumption. We don't believe that for one second, but here's hoping!

Snooki Polizzi Pic

"I didn't hurt anybody – stuff like that happens in Jersey," she said. "I was in the drunk tank for a little bit, I had too many tequilas. What are you gonna do?"

Indeed.

Later in an interview with People, she expressed a bit of remorse: "My dad was very, very pissed," she revealed. "He's like, 'I didn't raise you like this.'"

"I just felt really bad, so I'm definitely going to stop drinking during the daytime. And now when I go out, I'm only going to have a couple drinks."

Snooki: A model citizen, making Poughkeepsie, N.Y., so proud.

She admitted she'd been drinking since about noon the day she passed out drunk, saying "It was a good wakeup call for me. I learned that I need to calm down with drinking. It definitely embarrassed my family and that's just not good."

We can't imagine this was the first time (this week's episode or virtually any Jersey Shore quote would have that effect), but that's beside the point.

Snooki also revealed that she doesn't really remember most of her arrest experience, and is nervous about her court appearance set for August 18.

"I'm scared to go because I feel like a criminal," she said. "I'm not a criminal. It's just a drunken mistake. Obviously I like to party. I like to have a good time but may be overdoing it a little. So right now I'm just watching myself."

"When I see 7-year-olds, they're like, 'Oh, I envy you.' I'm like, 'Why? You're seeing me party,'" she said. "'That's not something you should envy.'"

Seven-year-olds watch Jersey Shore? So troubling on so many levels.

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As Jersey Shore goes, Season 2, Episode 2 ("The Hangover") was not among the greatest. How could it be with the primary focus on Sammi and Ronnie?

While Ronnie pretended not to remember what he did the night before, Sammi gave him the cold shoulder ... until she came around for the 293rd time.

Also heavily featured in this week's episode? Angelina Pivarnick. Like Sammi and Ronnie, she really needs an intervention, or a just ticket home ASAP.

At a certain point it's just boring and annoying. Meltdowns are supposed to be fun to watch, right? Though we suppose JWoww may still throw down.

Anyway, here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

Season 2 Jersey Shore Cast

Ronnie, on hooking up with land mines and grenades in the premiere: "Yo, I was doin' mad work tonight bro! Mad work!" Yo, you're a douche, bro! Minus 8.

Vinny says one of Ronnie's hookups plays tight end for the Giants. Plus 4.

Pauly D coins another gem: "Ronnie's new nickname is IFF. The I'm F*%ked Foundation. He's a client and the president!" Plus 7, because it's funny and true.

For a girl nicknamed Sweetheart, Sammi really isn't that nice. Minus 16. We're just saying. These girls are all catty, but she's miserable and not even funny.

JWoww at the tranny store: "The sex shop is perfect. Perfect ... It's my scene. And when I get into my scene I get into my clothes." What clothes? Minus 6.

After buying a $395 pair of sunglasses, Snooki walks around blind, seeks pickles, ruins dinner, and does a half-ass job cleaning it up. Standard. Plus 9.

Delivery guy: What's the name? Mike: Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n. Plus 5.

Snooki and JWoww confront Angelina about smack-talk pertaining to their friends/boyfriends. JWoww threatens violence many, many times. Plus 13.

Sammi and Ronnie Pic

Give it a rest, you guys. Seriously.

Pauly D's new boss is concerned about his hair. His response: "This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles per hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?" Amen. Plus 14.

The Situation introduces the shirt-before-the-shirt concept: "We have an abundance of wife beaters ... we wear before we go out. Then it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt." Plus 11.

At the club, The Situation gets bitten while making out with a panty-less drunk girl. Happens to the best of us on Thursday nights. Hang in there. Minus 4.

Pauly D hooks up with a girl who, according to Angelina, is married. She confronts him about this, apparently unaware that 1. She used to date a married guy herself, and 2. Pauly D obviously doesn't care, girl! Chill! Plus 7.

After professing her love to Pauly D (seriously), Ange proceeds to SLAP HIM. Minus 19 for being generally insane, and Minus 12 more for this being the most pathetic slap ever. Everyone hates you anyway ... put your back into it!

Plus 3 for next week's promo. After this week, it should be hilariously awkward.

TOTAL: +8. SEASON: +34. Follow this link for the night's Jersey Shore quotes!

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Snooki from Jersey Shore isn't lacking for self confidence.

The reality star, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, reckons Seaside Heights, N.J., should feel grateful for her mere presence, skimpy outfits, public drunkenness and all.

"I'm the best thing in this town," she arrogantly declared after cops arrested her for disorderly conduct after she borderline passed out wasted in mid-day.

"She was bad-mouthing everyone who walked by her [in the police stationhouse]," says a witness. "She was saying 'I'm a star, you can't do this to me.'"

After Snooki was arrested, she unleashed a boozed-up, expletive-filled rant and attempted to use her newfound fame as a "get-out-of-jail-free" card.

BUT I'M FAMOUS! Amazingly, police were not swayed.

"You can't tell me what to do, I'm Snooki," she yelled at officers. "Do you know who I am? I am f*%king Snooki. You can't do this... I'm f*%king Snooki!"

"You guys are going to be sorry for this. Release me!"

Not surprisingly, her harsh language didn't do the trick.

The Jersey Shore star was carted off the boardwalk in cuffs as her oversized shades slid down her nose, as you can see in the hilarious picture above.

Guess they can in fact "do this."

Snooki's mug shot was later released, and it's funnier than some of the Jersey Shore quotes in last week's premiere (no small feat) ...

Snooki Mug Shot

WHAT A MESS: Snooki plastered in the middle of the day.

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We know you'll be shocked to hear this, but Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was arrested in Seaside Heights, N.J., after an epic bender.

We're talking Thursday night into mid-afternoon Friday.

Disheveled in a garish miniskirt that left disgustingly little to the imagination, she was hauled off in cuffs wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with "SLUT."

Nice.

"Nicole Polizzi was acting in a disorderly manner while located on the beach," Seaside Heights Police Chief Thomas Boyd told the N.Y. Daily News.

She was later released with a summons and when Snooki emerged from the station about 7:30 p.m., she was greeted by 100 screaming fans.

She was accompanied by fellow cast members Jenni (JWoww) Farley, Pauly D, Vinny Guadagnino and their newest housemate, Deena Nicole.

Nicole 'Snooki' Pic

Snooki knows how to party. And resemble an Oompa Loompa.

A bartender at Aztec Ocean Resort told The News Snooki was there and consumed "three shots of Patron Tequila and a Long Island Iced Tea."

"She didn't tip!" said the barman, who would not give his name.

A bartender at EJ's Ocean Lounge next door said Snooki and friends were there around lunchtime and "were plastered when they walked in."

"I saw her by the beach, falling around, wobbling. No one could control her. She was so drunk. Too drunk," said witness Kwame Achampong.

Several celebrity gossip websites said Snooki went out drinking Thursday and didn't stop until she passed out on the beach Friday afternoon.

"She was passed out face down in the sand," a source told E! Online. "She couldn't even stand up. She was on her knees and kept falling."

The Season 2 premiere of Jersey Shore, set in Miami, aired Thursday night. The cast is now back in the Garden State filming Season 3.

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The greatness/awfulness that is Jersey Shore is back. As advertised, Season 2 features a new shore (pity Miami Beach), but the same crazy. And then some.

We were concerned that the cast's celebrity status would diminish the show's luster, but the genuineness of these characters (for better or worse) was there.

So was the entertainment. While predictable, it was great to have The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and that other girl back.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

En route to pick up the Sitch, Pauly D sums up Northeast winters: "Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep ... Girls stay in the house." Plus 5.

A dark brown Snooki laments that she no longer tans since "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Pretty sure that doesn't take effect until like 2014. Minus 4.

Jersey Shore Season 2 Cast

JWoww and Snooki ridicule Angelina's self-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" moniker. "With what ass?" JWoww muses. A valid point. Plus 3.

No one expected Angelina Pivarnick back this season. She awkwardly greets Pauly D and The Situation, who reluctantly let her bunk with them. Minus 1.

Down south, Snooki discovers "life-changing" fried pickles. They did look good. Plus 2. That dude in the restaurant gets a Plus 1 for his fist-pump, too.

Ronnie and Sammi reunite. The tension is thick, lame and boring. This is totally going to be a drawn-out, painful Audrina-Justin kind of thing. Minus 7.

Pauly D does a quick pro-con on the Angelina situation: She's annoying and causes drama, but there could be a slow night with no chicks, so ... Plus 18.

While the guys are awkward but mostly tolerant of Angelina, the girls are ready to full-on brawl. Holy crap, JWoww needs to lay off the steroids. Minus 5.

As a general rule, it's hard not to smile at what a blast the guys are having with this show. The girls, meanwhile, just come off miserable and catty. Even.

One of the Boys

Cons: Annoying drama queen. Pros: Easily accessible.

Lending a hand scrubbing in the sink after a DISASTER involving Sammi’s FAVORITE white shorts, Snooki says "I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin' '20s." Plus 6.

An intoxicated Ronnie calls Sammi an "ungrateful c**t" and says she will "never f*%king win." Win what, you effing moron? Get over yourself. Minus 13.

Vinny sums up the night: "Ronnie's obliviated at this point." Plus 6.

The Situation: "Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life." Plus 11.

Sure enough, Ronnie mauls one of each. Minus 8 for the nasty close-up.

An additional Plus 12 for the previews of future episodes. Wow.

TOTAL: +26. Follow this link for the night's best Jersey Shore quotes!

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Snooki.

The nickname itself doesn't exactly imply a lot of activity going on upstairs, if you get what we are talking about, and Nicole Polizzi's general behavior over the past eight months or so confirms she's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Sombrero Style

This surpasses even our loftiest expectations for her stupidity, however.

Word on the street is that the Jersey Shore star accidentally Tweeted her BlackBerry PIN. Snooki has 314,171 followers. You can probably see where this is going.

The ensuing wave of messages rendered her BlackBerry useless.

NOTE: Follow THG on Twitter. Even if you really want us to Tweet about your BlackBerry PIN for some reason, we don't have nearly that many followers.

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Jersey Shore star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is seen as a diva by many.

She says it's not true, but other cast members may still be jealous.

"Myself, Pauly, Vinny and Jenny [J-Woww], we've all stayed the same," Snooki says in the new issue of Steppin' Out. "We're the closest friends in the house."

"I trust them with my life... It hasn't gotten to our heads."

But Snook points out that herself and The Situation have become more in demand as celebs, which might foster resentment with the Sammis of the world.

SNOOKIMANIA: It's no Bieber Fever, but it's pretty big.

"I know the others want the same opportunities that Mike and I get, but we don’t control those things," she says. "I can understand why the others might be jealous. They aren't doing anything, but they should still be happy for me."

Snooki does lament her newfound fame to a degree.

"I miss my old life," she sighs. "I miss being able to be around my family and at home. I miss going out with my friends and going out to a bar. I can't do that anymore. When I try to do that, I get attacked by the fans."

Sometimes literally.

"I won't open up to anyone," she says, "except my best friend who I've known since I was 2 years old and my family and management team. That's it."

Production on Seasons 2-3 of Jersey Shore came screeching to a halt as Snooki and her pals threatened to go on strike, but it's all good now. Fist-pump!

Snooki Biography

Snooki Polizzi Nicole Polizzi is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. She fake-tans and acts like a bit of a skank. Then again that sums up the whole... More »
Birthplace
Poughkeepsie, New York
Full Name
Snooki
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