Nicole Richie

Two best friends and/or bitter enemies. Two contrasting models of behavior in recent days.

Let's start with Paris Hilton. The soon-to-be con had her prison sentence reduced to 23 days. She will also be separated from the general inmate population. The reason? Good behavior, of course.

An example of this behavior? No, not whatever she does with Stavros Niarchos behind closed door. But simply showing up for her latest court date is apparently enough to have Hilton's jail sentence sliced in half.

Paris will stay in a unit that contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates. Maybe she can be a pen pal with Joe Francis.

Like everyone else in the 2,200-inmate facility, Hilton will get at least an hour outside her cell each day to shower, watch television (maybe the Kim Kardashian reality show will be airing by then), participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone.

Meanwhile, Hilton will actually be on television when the fifth season of The Simple Life premieres this summer. But word on the set is that Paris' cohort on the program has been acting out.

During the shoot, TMZ reports that Nicole Richie constantly showed up late, and upped her unreasonable behavior to another level during the final shoot of the season, when the all-important "show open" was being taped.

Nicole turned up "several hours late" with boyfriend Joel Madden, and then gave producers another impossible deadline. After a serious blow-out argument, we're told producers had to call her agents just to get her to stay on-set.

Where was the actress singer thin famous person? Not at a restaurant, that much is certain. Maybe she was trying to get Brittany Murphy to divorce Simon Monjack.

Lord knows everyone else is.

Yes, we realize the title of this post is oxymoronic, as nothing at all about Nicole Richie could possibly be considered classic. That word implies something once had redeeming qualities or some semblance of worth, and while Richie may not be as detestable as Spencer Pratt (who is, really), she's hardly vintage.

Just the same, the photos below are a heck of a lot more pleasing than the sickly, ghostly, flat-out wrong Nicole Richie pictures presented to us these days.

Yes, long before Nicole was known for blowing chunks and Joel Madden, she was just Paris Hilton's slightly chunky, fun-loving pal on the reality TV hit, The Simple Life.

Check out this old Maxim/Stuff spread. While they may be the most airbrushed photos of all time, we definitely prefer the old Nicole. Much like we dig the old Kate Bosworth. 

And people were saying that a photo comparison of Avril Lavigne and Elvira (Mistress of the Dark) was f*%ked up. They ain't seen nothin' yet.

When the world was introduced to Nicole Richie in 2003, she was known as that harlot Paris Hilton's sweet, chunky sidekick from the hit reality TV series The Simple Life.

And we were cool with that. She seemed nice and harmless enough, despite the inherent awfulness of Paris Hilton and The Simple Life. We were Nicole Richie fans.

Fast forward three years, though, and the sweet youthful Nicole had been replaced with a svelte, fashion-forward model. And by svelte, we mean freakish. Anorexic. Gaunt. Yeah, this lack of sustinence puts Keira Knightley to shame.

Here's Nicole Richie, circa 2003 and 2006. Prepare to gasp in abject terror ...

Nicole Richie is famous for doing nothing except looking like an anorexic alien life form being a party girl, but she can add diva to her resume after last night's MTV Australia Video Music Awards.

Sources say that Nicole Richie was the only presenter who refused to take part in the dress rehearsal, not leaving her dressing room all day.

Not even boyfriend Joel Madden could cajole her.

The hypoglycemic starlet is reportedly being paid big bucks in appearances fees, so organizers expected her to do the job properly.

Other bigger names, such as Pink and host Fergie, took part in the rehearsal without complaint.

We also hear that her management had diva demands regarding her dressing room, unlike the slight star, her room had to be large.

Richie's trip hasn't been a happy one, after she upset her fans when she arrived at Sydney Airport Saturday, refusing to sign autographs for many who had waited up to 48 hours for a glimpse of their idol.

Why anyone would stand in line to take Nicole Richie pictures or get an autograph is beyond us. But sounds like Paris Hilton's BFF needs a serious reality check. And to put on about 25 pounds. Come on, girl. Eat. It's the American way.

Hardly any paparazzi bothered the celebs at L.A. club Winston's on April 23, reports an Us Weekly celebrity gossip spy who was on the scene.

That said, Nicole Richie assumed the role of cameraman, snapping photos of gal pal Lindsay Lohan, with whom she arrived in a black Suburban.

The Crotch of Fire, 20, certainly looked photo-ready. The actress breezed into the club wearing a plaid cowboy/flannel shirt over a cute denim mini, her hair blown out Farrah Fawcett-gorgeous.

When Richie, who's gearing up for a new season of The Simple Life, was done with snapping pics, she handed the camera over to a pal who shot the two lovely ladies with an unidentified man.

We don't know what inspired this waifish, anorexic camera action, but it was a slow night on the club scene, okay? Every night out can't feature Lauren Conrad sucking face with American Idol hopefuls.

Anyway. After about an hour-long photo session, Richie grabbed Lindsay and pal Kimberly Stewart, and herded them into the bathroom.

The 27-year-old Kim was trying to cop Lindsay's casual denim look - a short, floral-print dress with an unbuttoned denim vest and blown-out hair.

But she looked like she was headed to an '80s party. A bad '80s party. Of course, we'd much prefer seeing a hot Kimberly Stewart than we would a nude Sean Stewart. But that's neither here nor there, is it?

Like Lindsay Lohan, Kim was sipping a clear fluid for much of the night... but unlike the rehabbing Double-L, it didn't come in a 16 oz water bottle.

Apparently Kim got bored with Nicole's flashbulbs because she returned to the table 15 minutes later to flirt with a guy in a dark grey fedora â€" grabbing his hat and dancing for him all Pussycat Dolls-style.

Despite the sexy moves, there was not much spark. In fact, none of the women in the club, which included Eve and Michelle Rodriguez, seemed to have any boy toys with them.

Ladies night at Winston's, probably. No wonder Britney Spears didn't make it.

Nicole Richie is one skinny bitch. That's a constant.

But her hairstyle is ever-changing. Even though Nicole Richie's tried every hair color - blonde to red to brunette - we'd gotten used to her long, caramel colored locks recently.

So when she stepped out on the red carpet for the Race to Erase MS Gala in L.A. on Saturday night, the Simple Life "actress" had a much lighter, sleek shoulder-length cut with heavy bangs. Also known as the zombie look.

The celebrity fashion critics at T.H. Gossip believe the paler blonde sets off her skin tone beautifully, while the bob suits her petite frame. But we want to know what you think.

Leave us a comment and share your thoughts on the coiffure of Joel Madden's beleaguered, possibly emaciated better half.

When you're a grown woman and everyone starts applauding you hitting triple digits with your weight (as several blogs have reported) ... that's a pretty good indicator you had one or more eating disorders in the past.

Just saying. We all know that "exhaustion" and "dehydration" don't exist.

Just the same, this is a positive news story, as it looks like a little TLC is just what the doctor ordered for America's favorite stick figure and DUI arrest queen: Nicole Richie.

With her relationship with Joel Madden going strong, the petite paparazzi princess has revealed a pair of slightly healthier, thicker legs - which undoubtedly is a good thing in her case. Check out these remarkably non-grotesque pics of Nicole Richie... 

While we're skeptical that Nicole actually put on 15 pounds since her arrest (when it was learned she weighed just 85 pounds), it's good to see these two happy and not letting recent breakups with Brody Jenner and Hilary Duff keep them down.

Keep up the good work, team. And Nicole - keep on keeping the food inside your digestive tract. We know it's tempting to blow chunks, but you can do it. Someone has to set an example for Allegra Versace.

The troubles on the set of The Simple Life - Nicole Richie collapsing on set late last week and being hospitalized for dehydration earlier this month - are the result of something new, her rep says.

Hypoglycemia. Which we all know does not exist.

Much like "exhaustion" or "chronic fatigue."

"In her ongoing effort to focus on her well-being, Nicole has recently been diagnosed with hypoglycemia" or low blood sugar, her spokesperson said.

Nicole Richie, 25, announced in October that she was seeking treatment for what her rep described as an "inability to put on weight."

The Gossip likes to call it "being an anorexic waif."

And though she and Paris Hilton work as counselors at a health camp on the fifth season of their E! reality show, Richie's own physical "issues" have recently taken center stage.

"Despite the efforts of Brody Jenner, a source says, "Four or five times she's felt really faint and almost passed out. She has to go into her trailer for a good part of the day."

But Richie's representative tells the media that since the "actress" got her hypoglycemia "diagnosis," she is taking steps to manage it.

Adds a Simple Life spokesperson: "Nicole has reported to work each day and the results have been fantastic."

We're guessing by fantastic, they mean boring, staged and utterly unwatchable. Not unlike just about anything Keanu Reeves stars in.

Meanwhile, Richie is due to appear in court on April 2 to face misdemeanor charges stemming from a December DUI arrest in Los Angeles. She pleaded not guilty on February 20.

She weighs 85 pounds.

Nicole Richie suffered a collapse on the set of The Simple Life last week, and her health issues are continuing to slow down production.

Moreover, they're pissing off co-star Paris Hilton.

According to New York Daily News, the health-averse, weight-challenged actress (and we use that term loosely) had to be "taken to her trailer immediately" after the on-set incident.

At times, Richie has "had trouble walking and speaking clearly," though no ambulances have been called - unlike on March 5 when she fainted on set.

Hopefully someone took away the keys to her gas-guzzling SUV. Otherwise, this is like another DUI arrest and mug shot just itching to happen.

The show's co-creator, Jon Murray, told the Daily News:

"There were a couple times when [Nicole] felt a little woozy and she sat down for a moment, [but] we continued within five to ten minutes."

Richie has also been rumored to be popping pills of late, and Murray adds that the young socialite indeed suffered a "dehydration thing" earlier.

We all know what dehydration really means. It's like exhaustion - a made up condition cited by celebrities to conceal one of two scenarios:

1. They don't eat (see Richie, Mischa Barton or Kate Bosworth).
2. They have a liter of man soup in their stomach (see Lindsay Lohan).

Seriously, Nicole. We all want you to get better. Eat. Take the advice of the great Brody Jenner and stuff yourself until you become morbidly obese. You can do it. It's the American way.

What's next, Ryan Seacrest teaching truck drivers how to be metrosexual?

It's possible, considering the host of American Idol also works for the E! network - and it's that channel that has come up genius idea of pairing celebrities with real-life people that need insight only certain stars can deliver.

For example: Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton will be counseling overweight campers on the fifth season of The Simple Life. Apparently these folks needs celebs known for being rich and promiscuous to teach them how to vomit up dinner.

"They are going to be camp counselors at one camp in the Southern California Mountains," says an E! spokesperson. "The camp has five different themes. Each week will be a different theme. And yes, one week is a weight loss/fitness camp. It's not a fat camp."

So at this fat camp, individuals will be heeding the advice of someone recently hospitalized for weighing 67 pounds and not drinking enough liquids to remain upright. Sounds like a winning idea to us.

We assume the next reality show will be Heather Mills showing poor women how to marry for money.