by Free Britney at

Nadya Suleman will sue a San Diego strip club owner who recently told magazine In Touch that America's favorite mother of 14 was once an erotic dancer.

"Who are these humans?" Octomom fumed to Radar Online, whilst flipping through the print version of the celebrity gossip rag, which she claims even forged documents with her signature to attempt to prove its story.

Suleman Shot

"There is not one ounce of truth to this."

"I never, ever, ever, ever, EVER worked - even for one day - in a strip club!" Nadya Suleman said, echoing other statements she has made about her past.

She added that her lawyer (where the fees are paid from, who can say) plans on suing Gunner Reid, owner of what is now the Spearmint Rhino club.

Octomom stocks up on groceries. Better get a bigger cart.

Reid claims Suleman stripped - under the stage name Angelina no less - for bachelor parties between 1999 and 2000, while a dancer who goes by "Sage" says Nadya was "overly flirty with the guys we performed for."

The closest Suleman ever got to working the pole, she maintains, was entering a lingerie contest at age 19, which she won. Says a lot about the competition - though this was before she cranked 14 humans out of her vagina.

In addition to being pissed over the rumors that she was a stripper, Suleman is also getting tired of tabloids' frequent Angelina Jolie comparisons.

"No offense," she says. "But I don't want to look like this person." We hope that means she won't make taxpayers foot the bill for plastic surgery.

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by Free Britney at

In case she wasn't aware of how many kids she has - it can be daunting to count that high - Nadya Suleman got a permanent reminder of her family last weekend.

Suleman, who already has seven tramp stamps, got her first in 16 years at Kustom Kulture in Hollywood - an angel with 14 stars and an infinity symbol.

Nadya Suleman and Children

Octomom says she got the new tattoo as a tribute to her brood.

"I just wanted to symbolize the eight babies and the six other kids. The angel represents that they're angels - they all are miracles," she said. "The angel's dropping 14 stars, one for each child. That's it. Kind of simple but meaningful to me."

Nice to see California taxpayers pick up the tab for such a gesture.

You'd think that having no job, and being a tabloid mainstay herself, Nadya Suleman would be up on pop culture, but when a reporter asked Octomom about topics like Twitter and the vampire flick Twilight, she's never heard of it.

"Why do they call it Twittering? What does that mean?" Suleman asked Radar Online. "Who invented that name - the same person who invented 'Octomom?'"

Guess this also means she won't be taking her 14 kids to see New Moon.

The former stripper admitted she was "nervous anticipating the pain" that comes with tattoos, but it wasn't as bad as cranking out eight babies from her vagina.

"There were so many doctors ripping out the insides of me that my body was literally squashed," she said of the octuplets' birth. "It was so painful - so bad."

Kind of like reading any news about her.

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by Free Britney at

In an incident that surely wasted more taxpayer money, Nadya Suleman reportedly rushed one of her octuplets to a hospital after he wouldn’t stop crying.

Radar Online reports that around 2:30 p.m. PST, Octomom was concerned after Makai continued to cry and she noticed a bump on the side of his abdomen.

Octomom Steppin' Out Cover

She worried that he had a hernia, so Nadya took the baby to Bellflower medical center where he was born. Doctors examined Makai and said he was fine.

How did Octomom handle the crisis?

“I stayed calm,” Nadya Suleman said.

When you sponge off of society and aren't even responsible for earning your own living, we imagine it's fairly easy to maintain grace under pressure.

Every day is an adventure for the mother of 14.

In other Nadya Suleman news, while there's already going to be an Octomom TV show starring the waste of space herself, a local theater is reportedly going to be putting on - how we wish we were kidding - an Octomom musical!

Currently casting, the OctoMusical is looking for someone who is "funny" and "whimsical" and can cram 14 babies into her womb command authority.

The musical is set to open at a small theater in L.A. in June. We can't wait until the climactic scene when taxpayers revolt and burn her at the stake.

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by Free Britney at

In March, Nadya Suleman said on a radio show that she was never a stripper, but merely tried amateur exotic dancing one night when she was in her 20s.

Well, either Octomom isn't telling the complete truth, or a new article in In Touch Weekly isn't. Neither scenario could really be called shocking.

Yesterday, the celebrity gossip magazine reported that Octomom was indeed a stripper, and one who went by the alias - you guessed it - Angelina.

Moreover, the mag says the living, breathing embodiment of wasted taxpayer money held down the exotic dancing job for at least a full year.

The news came from "Sage," an exotic dancer invented by who spoke to In Touch on the condition of anonymity. Sage "performed at several amateur stripping contests and bachelor parties with Nadya Suleman from 1999 to 2000."

Octomom: Obsessed with Angelina

This classic celeb news magazine cover sums up Nadya Suleman well.

Luis Ceballos, a limo driver who used to take the two strippers to parties, has similar memories of Nadya, and says that rather than being embarrassed about her job, the woman who would go on to become Octomom “was full of herself.”

According to Ceballos, Suleman, who now has 14 kids total, “always said she wanted to be really famous” and believed that someday, she would be.

Nadya also wasn’t as innocent back then as she lets on.

While she insists she “never even kissed a boy” when entering the stripping contest, Sage says Nadya "was overly flirty with the guys we performed for.”

Hey, if the Octomom reality show doesn't make enough money to get her off welfare, it looks like she has a promising backup career to fall back on.

She and Britney Spears can open their own strip club.

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by Free Britney at

In case you didn't hate her enough, just be glad you don't live in La Habra, Calif. If you happen to, our sympathies! Police say the department has spent thousands in overtime pay to look after Octomom Nadya Suleman and her family.

Resources were spent checking on the Suleman family during regular patrol hours and responding to calls at the house, though the total cost is  not known.

Nadya Suleman, 33, gave birth to the longest-living set of octuplets in history - the last of whom went home last week - back on January 26.

She has six other children, all younger than 8.

Octomom has been widely criticized by some members of the media, as she is single, unemployed and supporting her family - before the octuplets were even - born with food stamps, disability payments and student loans. But who's counting?

La Habra Police spokeswoman Cindy Knapp said the city will not seek restitution from Nadya Suleman for police escorts that accompanied babies home from Kaiser Permanente Bellflower Medical Center, or for other costs.

"Virtually all police services are free to residents of the community," she said. "There are no legal provisions or paths for cost recovery under the specific circumstances or service provided to the Sulemans at this point."

The department began working closely with the Suleman family after the two strongest of the infants were brought home in mid-March. The black SUV carrying Suleman, the babies and nurses was swarmed by paparazzi at stoplights.

Knapp said when the second and third sets of two babies were discharged from the hospital, police units and a supervisor guarded the cul-de-sac for her.

Hey, at least the Octomom reality show is officially a go. That shouldn't cause any additional chaos on her street or anything. Click to enlarge more pics:

  • OctoCover
  • You Da Mom!
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by Hilton Hater at

I have no interest in being famous. I’d love to vanish from the public eye as soon as I can.

- Nadya Suleman to Life & Style, 4/9/09

Octomom Childbirth Scar

I'm going to be doing a show.

- Nadya Suleman to Life & Style, 4/15/09

Apparently, a lot can happen in a week. After weeks of speculation, Nadya Suleman has agreed to exploit her ridiculously large family for a TV series. Just don't call in a reality show!

"I's not a reality show. What I'm doing with this TV show is basically creating documentaries about the lives of my children," Suleman told the tabloid. "It's going to be an ongoing thing, and it will follow them from now until they are 18... It will air in the UK and then we'll see if the US is interested."

We doubt it. American networks rarely air reality shows that follow around the lives of useless, money-hungry, attention-starved individuals.

"The producers will come here to film six times a year. They'll come by and take some footage and then they'll go. They won't be invading my life or my children's lives," Suleman said, adding that the cameras will ensure she has great movies by which she can remember her kids.

Isn't that like Kim Kardashian defending her sex tape by saying it will help her remember proper technique in bed?

All that remains is a name for Suleman's TV show. Vote in our poll of below and/or send in your own suggestions...

 

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by Hilton Hater at

The Octofamily can finally have dinner as a whole tonight.

Nearly three months after Nadya Suleman gave birth to eight children, Jonah - the final octuplet remaining at the hospital - headed home last night. He currently weighs 4 lbs., 10 oz.; up from 1 lb., 8 oz. at birth.

Octomom and Daughter

That's even less than Shenae Grimes.

The boy - who had been hospitalized in order to gain weight - joined his newborn siblings (deep breath, folks), Noah, Jeremiah, Josiah, Isaiah, Maliyah, Makai and Nariyah, and Suleman's six older children Monday evening.

We can only imagine how long the line for the bathroom was this morning!

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by Free Britney at

Already accused of bogarting Angelina Jolie's lips and Kim Kardashian's style, Nadya Suleman is now determined to sponge off society as a whole.

But at least we'll be able to watch it all unfold, as a deal for an Octomom reality show, which she has lobbied hard for, will reportedly be signed soon.

Coffeeeeeeee

Sources close to Suleman say that she and her attorney, Jeffery Czech, met with four production companies and are due to meet again in the next few couple of days with executives at an undisclosed network with apparently no shame.

Producers reportedly want to follow the same pattern of other reality shows, with episodes revolving around themes like Suleman learning to drive a 14-passenger OctoMobile, going on a date or having a big family holiday dinner.

Czech acknowledged his odd client's motivations: Suleman is tired of TV cameras and protective of her children's privacy, yet she also wants to ensure that she has enough money to care for them without public assistance.

And whoring them out to a TV network beats getting a job, right?

Speaking of public assistance, Suleman told her local newspaper, the Whittier Daily News, that she is indeed considering applying for federal WIC aid.

Suleman doesn't have health insurance and that all medical costs associated with delivering the octuplets on January 26 were funded by taxpayers.

Oh yeah, and Octomom had six kids before she was even Octomom.

According to the paper, the WIC provides federal grants to California and other states for food, health care referrals and nutrition education for low-income women and children up to age five who are found to be at nutritional risk.

A family of 15 would have to make more than $112,480 through only June 30 to be ineligible for aid. Under the program, the octuplets, the six older kids, and Nadya Suleman can receive baby formula, cereal, milk, cheese, vegetables and juice.

Some say it would cost $2,000 a month for baby formula alone.

"That's a lot of money for formula," she said.

[Smart-ass comment rendered unnecessary.]

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by Hilton Hater at

The Octomom, Nadya Suleman, has faced numerous critics over the last few months. It would be challenging to find an individual that is not disgusted by the selfish, fame-driven new mother of eight babies.

Now, though, the mentally unbalanced Angelina Jolie wannabe has really crossed the line: she's pissed off Kim Kardashian.

Outside Barney's

In a recent blog entry, the self-described fashion icon calls out Suleman for copying her look.

"Why is Octomom wearing my Jimmy Choo sunglasses!?" Kardashian asks. "I think it's a little ridiculous that she claims she has no money and is on welfare to take care of her 14 children, yet she is out shopping and buying Jimmy Choo sunglasses... I guess she'd rather spend her octo-dollars on accessories. Aren't 14 accessories enough, Octomom??"

Is Octomom stealing Kim Kardashian's look? Or is anyone entitled to make herself look ridiculous in a pair of gigantic sunglasses?

The hideous sunglasses in question cost approximately $300... if you purchase the original pair.

However, Target does offer a version that costs $16.99. Kardashian might wanna do some research before launching into her next tirade.

While we find Suleman to be a pathetic, attention-seeking individual, it's hard to side with someone that labels Jimmy Choo as her sunglasses. We didn't know you patented those, Kim.

Will you also take issue with the next celebrity to release a sex tape?

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by Hilton Hater at

Nadya Suleman must be aiming for a career as a comedian.

The clinically-insane woman, best known as "Octomom," tells the latest issue of Life & Style, that she has no interest in fame. We haven't laughed so hard at a statement since Spencer Pratt said Heidi Montag was a good singer.

OctoCover

Breaking entertainment news: Nadya Suleman hates fame! Brangela is fighting! Robert Pattinson is doing Nikki Reed!

Here's what else Suleman had to say in the interview:

On George Clooney: “I actually used to want to become a doctor, and it was because of him. I’ve always thought he’s absolutely beautiful.”

On starring in a pornography: “For $100 million I wouldn’t do it. It’s an insult to my values.”

On having her boobs: “[My lips are real.] I had a breast reduction, not an enlargement. I went from a D-cup down to a C before I ever had children.”

On working a stripper: “I’ve never worked as a stripper in my life. Absolutely not.”

On doing a reality TV show: “Absolutely not! I have no interest in being famous. I’d love to vanish from the public eye as soon as I can."

The best way to do that? Give an interview to a tabloid with a weekly circulation of over 680,000 copies.

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