by Free Britney at

We're not sure what humanity did to deserve this kind of punishment, but a higher power must think we deserve it if rumors of a new reality show starring both Jon Gosselin and Octomom Nadya Suleman are true.

The producers of Cheaters report that Nadya had an "insatiable desire to spend time with Jon and put their families together," and that in turn, they brainstormed a show entitled Jon Minus Kate = Jon Octomom.

We're guessing that's only a working title.

In any case, the show's producers certainly don't think lightly of their idea, or their two stars, who they call "two biggest media sensations of our generation."

We would have chosen other language. But it looks like a team effort between the emotionally abusive tool and human baby factory is at least being pushed.

Jon is Smokin'

A better title would be The Reality Show From Hell.

The pitch for Jon Minus Kate = Jon Octomom, obtained by one network it was pitched to, begins modestly: "Mohammed and the Mountain started a religion."

It gets better: "Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris started a Yankee dynasty. Lennon and McCartney started a music revolution." Then, the big kicker (pause) ...

"Jon and Octomom start a whole new reality in the world of Reality TV."

The pitch claims the show's so revolutionary it will rival American Idol in the ratings, but "there will be no rival in the shocking nature of this pairing."

If there's any silver lining to be found in this, it's that everyone can hate these two. Just put the Israelis and Palestinians together for a showing and they'll emerge best of friends, united in the hatred of a common enemy.

Who sucks more?

 

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by Free Britney at

Just nine months after giving birth to eight freaking babies, single mother of 14 freaking babies overall Nadya Suleman is back into her pre-baby jeans.

Yup, Octomom lost 145 pounds. No trainer or plastic surgery required.

"I was eating everything in sight," the drain on society recalls.

"I topped 270 pounds while pregnant," the mother of Elijah, 8; Amerah, 7; Joshua, 6; Aidan, 4; Calyssa and Caleb, 3; and Josiah, Makai, Jeremiah, Nariyah, Jonah, Noah, Maliyah and Isaiah, 9 months, tells the new issue of Us Weekly.

While she easily bounced back after her other pregnancies, getting back into shape after welcoming eight babies wasn't as easy. Really, you're kidding.

Instantly erasing 40 pounds after delivering her octuplets, Nadya Suleman felt compelled to join the local gym after welcoming the bundles of joy.

Glad La Habra, Calif., taxpayers sprung for her membership.

Octo-Wave

BYE, BYE, WEIGHT: Hello, tabloids! Jobless media whore and mother of 14 Nadya Suleman, a.k.a. Octomom, shares weight loss tips and clamors for attention.

Nadya fits in thrice-weekly midnight workouts (while a taxpayer-funded nanny watches over her sleeping children) with strength training but no cardio.

"I get enough of that with the kids," Suleman said.

The 34-year-old Suleman also maintains a strict diet of five protein-packed meals or snacks a day normally consist of "anything the kids are eating."

Food staples in the Suleman household? Oatmeal, sushi, turkey, and even homemade baby food. "As long as it's nutritious, it's good to eat," she said.

The disgrace also loves to gorge herself on one particular indulgence every day and not even worry about any empty carbs as a result: Publicity.

Hey, if she can't exploit her kids for money, there's always her own body. Gotta give the hyper-fertile one credit for being versatile at least.

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by Free Britney at

The Hollywood Gossip celebrated the return of its Caption Contest yesterday.

Our readers did not disappoint, writing over 100 potential captions for the photo of Nadya "Octomom" Suleman below. Your winner is Lickitysplit.

Octomom, Family

Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions we received.

Honorable mentions go out to Texasmom, KT, and Grandma B. Thanks to everybody for their efforts and best of luck in our next Caption Contest!

Mom, why is your uterus running away?

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by Free Britney at

The Hollywood Gossip is pleased to announce the return of its Caption Contest, where readers try to write the funniest caption for the photo below!

The rules are simple. Look at the celebrity photo below. Click comments and send in your caption(s). Have fun. Tomorrow, we'll announce a winner.

Nadya and Kid

It's that easy, and we have a feeling you have lots of material to work with here. Leave as many captions as you want and be as harsh as you like!

Give it your best shot(s) for picture of Octomom Nadya Suleman...

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by Free Britney at

Forget Britney Spears. Heidi Montag has a new celebrity hero.

"She said she wanted to be the next Octomom!" her co-star Audrina Patridge said at the Surfrider's Gala on Friday in L.A. "I was like, 'Heidi, no you don't!'"

Octomom, a.k.a. Nadya Suleman, has 14 kids and no job. Or significant other. Oh yes, she was a single mother of six before giving birth to her octuplets.

Even she admits "it was a mistake" to have so many kids "without a father figure." Well, Heidi would pretty much be in the same boat with Spencer Pratt.

They've both got the plastic surgery thing down pat, too ...

Heidi's Pups

Heidi Montag and the useless baby factory who's become her new idol.

Patridge said that Montag is "ready for kids." Spencer Pratt, though?

On The View, he smarmy one said he wasn't sleeping with his baby-crazy wife wants to get pregnant and might pull the goalie on him. On last week's episode of The Hills, he joked (semi-seriously) that he wanted to get his tubes tied.

Audrina isn't concerned that the clash might cause them to split. They are "bickering back and forth, like any married couple sometimes does," she said.

She said that marriage has made Speidi an even stronger couple.

"They're really close," Patridge told Us. "They're inseparable."

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by Free Britney at

Fox's two-hour suckfest Nadya Suleman (Octomom) was pretty much a collection of all our past gossip columns on the mother of 14, only in video form.

In other words, Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage more closely resembled Cops than Jon and Kate Plus 8, and featured an more annoying mom.

Among the "unseen" highlights delivered to our living rooms by Fox last night, many of which we previously reported on at The Hollywood Gossip ...

  • Nadya squealing, "What am I, the president?!" at the celebrity gossip reporters waiting outside her house when she returns from the hospital.
  • Creepy, overdramatic music playing when Suleman got all creeped out by the free nannies she received, then fired, calling them "obsessive."
  • Suleman reacting to one of Kate Gosselin's infamous bikini shots with, "Oh my God, that is so staged!" Okay, that part was kind of hilarious.
  • Octomom telling her own mom not to worry about her supporting 14 kids on no income: "You grew up in a completely different environment - this is a different time." Indeed it is. California has loads of cash to shell out to deadbeats.

That's enough for our synopsis. Follow the link for all the Nadya Suleman pictures you can stomach and if you dare, check out the video clip below ...

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by Free Britney at

Nadya Suleman has landed back in Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Bellflower, Calif., a source close to the drain on society reports Wednesday morning.

While the reason for her hospitalization is unknown, the source added that Nadya Suleman is expected to remain there for at least 24-48 hours.

“This is not a big deal and Nadya should be back on her feet in a couple of days” the source told Radar Online. Ah. We can only pray, and hope.

Maybe they can cure her chronic case of siphoning off taxpayers.

Octomom Talking

FERTILITY: Octomom has that going for her. And nothing else.

Nadya Suleman, a single, jobless mom of 14, underwent minor surgery in May. Sadly, that operation have not made her infertile, so the brood may grow yet.

Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage - yes, a two-hour Octomom TV special - will air Wednesday, August 19 on Fox. Set your DVR so you don't miss it.

The program will chronicle the saga of Nadya, who despite having six kids already, got artificially inseminated with eight more and gave birth in January.

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by Free Britney at

Yes. In one of the most anticipated events in recent television history, Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage, will air as a two-hour special August 19.

Naturally, Fox will do the honors of presenting this watershed moment in child exploitation. Gloria Allred should have a press release coming out shortly.

Foreclosed

According to a press release, viewers will be able to witness "the emotional struggles, physical complications and financial burdens of this drain on society single mother of 14," who gave birth to eight children this past January.

Yes. She had six effing kids before the octuplets. Incredible.

SHE SURE CAN REPRODUCE: Octomom, our single greatest asset against the human race ever dying off, has already created 14 humans. [Photo: Fame Pictures]

"From the day the octuplets were born, the cameras had unprecedented access to every area of Suleman’s life," the shameless press release continued.

"For more than seven months, cameras documented Nadya Suleman, capturing some incredible footage, including the private moments and the reactions of Suleman’s family, as well as Suleman’s own feelings, doubts and fears."

In a sign of the apocalypse, Suleman has signed with a European production company for a reality show. The show begins filming on September 1.

The 14 mistakes need to lawyer up ASAP.

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by Free Britney at

In breaking news, Octomom, a.k.a. Nadya Suleman, the mother of 14 children, admits that: "I think it was a mistake - in terms of the well-being of the octuplets and of my other kids. I can't give myself to them 100 percent."

"If I'd known that, I never would have fathomed having eight more."

As if one is artificially inseminated with eight kids by accident. Really, she is just the victim here. If only she realized that six kids was already a lot, and that 14 might be slightly more of a burden. Especially when one has no freaking job.

We'll make a mental note to not repeat Nadya's innocent mistake.

Suleman Shot

Tell us something we don't know, Octomom. [Photo: Fame Pictures]

Lawyer Gloria Allred, who represented nonprofit Angels in Waiting, which provided free nanny service to Suleman, is particularly livid about the comments.

"I think it's very, very sad when any mother calls her child, or in this case, eight little babies, a mistake," Allred said. "How are the babies going to feel when they grow up and read one day that their mother calls them a mistake?"

"That is just very, very sad to me as a person who is an advocate for children. Even if she thinks it, the fact that she sad it is very, very troubling because has she even considered the impact that would have on the children long-term?"

The attorney said she remains very skeptical of Nadya Suleman's plans to exploit her kids show her life and earn $250,000 for a new reality show.

"First of all, we have a petition seeking guardianship over the estate of the octuplets pending in the Orange County Superior Court," Allred said.

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by Free Britney at

Hey, as depressing as it is that Nadya Suleman is getting a f*%king reality show, there are a couple of silver linings if you are willing to look hard enough:

  • At least the jobless drain on society will be making some money and paying taxes to the broke state of California for the first time in memory.
  • She can't possibly screw up and scar her children for life worse than Kate and Jon Gosselin already have. The bar has officially been lowered!

Even better, Octomom's 14 children (yes, she had six prior to the octuplets) are going to be earning $250 a day for a total of $250,000 over three years.

Nadya Suleman Nude

The British production company handling the show will pay the kids each the same rate: $125,000 collectively for 36 days of shooting in the first year; $75,000 for 21 days in the second year; and $50,000 for 14 days the third year.

According to the Octomom reality show contract, 15 percent of the children's earnings will be placed in a trust account, as required by California law, that none of them will have access to until he or she is 18 or legally emancipated.

So as soon as they can speak and ask for a lawyer.

Octomom is ready to ruin her kids' lives even more than she already has. Although, on the flip side, how much worse can it get? [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The as-yet untitled series, due to start shooting September 1, is said to be less of a day-to-day intrusion look at the huge, burdensome family's life and more of a documentary-style show focusing on milestones in the children's lives.

No word on how Gloria Allred feels about this. We just hope there are ample Crooked Houses plugs and that Nadya Suleman starts wearing a Bluetooth headset.

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