by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ready to enter an alternate universe?

Given the extreme makeover Miley Cyrus has undergone over the past couple months, it's jarring to remember that she still plays Hannah Montana on television.

In fact, that show will air the first episode of its final season tomorrow night. It finds the Stewarts moving into a new ranch home and we've posted a sneak peek at the premiere below.

Miley is front and center, but there are no same-sex kisses, no gyrating of the crotch and no torn-up, low-cut, ridiculous outfits to be seen...

Cyrus has gone out of her way to say she wants to shed this innocent image, but she really might wanna think twice about that.

After all, her new album sales have been abysmal. She may have to accept the fact that most fans want to see her as looks here, not as some Britney Spears wannabe:

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Miley Cyrus has been tamed again.

After an incredibly disappointing opening week of sales for "Can't Be Tamed," fans of this young singer said to wait. It's just been a few days, they cried! Give the album time!

Miley Cyrus Halloween Outfit

A week later, though, the compilation is barely holding a place in the Billboard 200's top 10. With Eminem's "Recovery" still holding strong at number-one (with 313,000 copies sold), Miley's CD fell six places to number-nine, selling just 32,000 copies.

That's an astounding 68% drop-off from last week.

By comparison, Miley's 2008 "Breakout" sold 1.5 million copies and was certified platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America. There's very little chance "Can't Be Tamed" will achieve half that level of success.

Does this mean Miley has lost a significant amount of her fan base? There's no other way to see it. Numbers speak for themselves.

Perhaps she should go to college, after all. They have marketing classes there.

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For weeks, THG has been offering Miley Cyrus advice: put on pants, cut out the desperate antics, focus on country music - and shut up.

But what do we know about it? We're simply a (very attractive) celebrity gossip blog. We can't relate to the life of a teenage celebrity.

Kellie Martin can, however. The actress rose to fame on the sitcom Life Goes On and has remained grounded, most recently recurring on ER as the character of Lucy Knight and guest-starring on episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.

Asked by Fancast.com if she had any advice for Miley, Martin replied:

"Go to college.  I really think that saved me.  Fred [Savage] went to Stanford, Mayim [Bialik] went to UCLA, I went to Yale... It’s really, really important to get an education because when all of this is gone, then at least you have your education."

Kellie Martin

Martin appears to be a fan of Miley's, adding: "She’s wildly talented, little Miley Cyrus, and she has a sweet family.  If she went to college, she’d be totally set. She’d be set forever.”

It's true that none of the childhood stars cited above have been arrested, gone bankrupt or had compromising photos of themselves released online.

Wouldn't it be great if Cyrus followed the advice? It's just a shame no one offered it to Lindsay Lohan.

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Last month, Miley Cyrus compared herself to Britney Spears.

Now, Katy Perry has gone ahead and done the same thing - but with a very different meaning behind it.

According to Life & Style, Perry caught a glimpse of Miley's outfits at the 2010 MuchMusic Awards and said to a friend:

"Oh my God, poor girl... She's Britney Spears all over again. It's happening right before our eyes... she's definitely headed the Britney route. It's worse. Look at those outfits. It's bad."

  • Hot Hot Katy
  • Pants!

We've been saying the same thing for weeks, of course... but we don't go around posing for Esquire like this. Makes it a bit tough for Perry to present her case, doesn't it?

Meanwhile, Cyrus joined Dolly Parton on stage for a duet outside Knoxville this weekend. She actually sounded great, making her current image that much more frustrating.

As you can see below, when Miley sings country and wears clothing, she's a quality artist:

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Between the lack of pants and abudance of simulated same-sex kissing, it's easy to forget that Miley Cyrus still portrays Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel.

That series kicks off its final season on Sunday night and Miley previewed it a press conference this week.

A Fancy Ensemble

"[It's about] her graduating, and seeing what college is all about and seeing whether she wants to pursue her career or go to school and try to live a normal life," Cyrus told reporters. "I can't believe it's already coming to an end, either. I mean, it just feels like we kind of just started."

Will Miley's musical makeover negatively affect her TV show's viewership?

Looking back on the series, Miley credits herself for starting a trend.

"It kind of has opened so many doors for other artists on Disney, too, to be able to involve music and acting and all that. I definitely didn't expect it to take off the way that it did, especially so soon."

But we can't help but wonder: will Miley's transformation into an adult artist hurt Hannah Montana? Will she lose viewers, as her latest album clearly lost fans. Cyrus says she can't worry about that:

"I can't only base my career off of the 6-year-olds. It's the 16-year-olds, the 26-year-olds, that's I'm trying to reach for now. That's not letting the younger kids down. I will continue to do things that will be good for them, too. But, I also have to move on."

That's fine and all, but can't she find a less desperate, more creative way of doing that?

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Country music legend is admittedly biased, but she has a message for critics of Miley Cyrus:

Give the girl a break!

In an interview with Fox News, Parton is asked about the rebukes of Miley's new image these days and says: "I've known her since she was a baby." She then takes the same stance on digs directed at Cyrus as Miley herself takes on pants:

"I hate it when people criticize her," Dolly says.

Miley and Her Bra

Parton continues to praise her "honorary goddaughter," adding: "She is a great singer; she has a great voice. She's a great little entertainer and she can speak to you like she is 50 years old."

We guess that's true. At least if 50 year-olds are known for spouting Hallmark card-like cliches about love and life.

In closing, Dolly seems to at least acknowledge that Miley's new CD has been a bust on the charts, but the singing legend takes a grander, positive view of her young pal:

"She'll land in the right place. I really know she has everything it takes. She is just trying to find her way and she will."

Those words sound eerily similar to what some people said about Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan back in the day. Let's hope Miley's path ends in a different location from that of those two trainwrecks.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Miley Cyrus has made it painfully clear for weeks now: she simply cannot be tamed.

But while this may be true in her wardrobe choices, the singer was cut down to size on the music charts last week. Her latest album, "Can't Be Tamed," finished third in sales, behind Eminem's "Recovery" and Drake's "Thank Me Later."

It was expected that Eminem would lead the way, but not by this wide of a margin. His new CD had the biggest opening week of any in 2010, moving over 753,000 copies.

As for Miley? She has to be disappointed, as "Can't Be Tamed" sold just 106,000 albums. That's an astounding 250,000 fewer than Cyrus' 2008 effort, "Breakout," sold during its first week of release.

Sales

Miley's fans will surely complain about our biased coverage now and make up excuses for their favorite artist. And that's fine, that's their right and we admire their passion.

But numbers don't lie: recent poll results show 70% of respondents laugh at the idea of Cyrus as a role model; moreover, her new CD actually sold fewer copies than her previous CD sold in its second week of release.

As we've been saying all along, is it possible Miley's new image may have gotten her attention, but turned away her fan base? Might she have been better served by slowly evolving as an artist, as opposed to pulling every transparent, cheap trick in the book just to prove she's changed?

These are questions Miley, her handlers and her cult-like followers will need to consider carefully.

  • I'm So Edgy!
  • A Tired Move

The public - literally! - is not buying Miley's tired attempts to be edgy and mature.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

For the record, Miley Cyrus hates pop music, Glee and, of course, pants.

Now, the singer has added something else to her list of disdain. In an interview with E! News last week, the singer said: "I hate vampires."

Naturally, this led the network to speak to members of the Eclipse cast about Miley's comments and they replied as follows:

Taylor Lautner: "She doesn't need to like vampires. As long as she likes werewolves, we're cool."

Peter Facinelli: "I'm not necessarily a huge vampire fan, but I do love the books that Stephenie Meyer created. I love that you don't see fangs. It's not a horror movie by any means."

Miley in Nashville

Elizabeth Reaser: "I've always been a fan of vampires since I was a little girl. I loved all the Anne Rice books. Maybe Miley's resisting. Maybe they're so popular now that it's annoying or she's sick of seeing us."

Kellan Lutz: "She hasn't met me then. I would change her opinion on that, I'm sure. I have my ways."

Ashley Greene: "That's so unfortunate because I love her new songs... I'm going to sit Miley down and force her to watch Twilight."

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Note to Miley Cyrus: if you have to say you're a role model, you're probably not a role model.

In a new interview with MTV News, Cyrus says she empowers young women - or at least tries to. Referring to new songs such as "Can't Be Tamed" and "Liberty Walk," the 17-year who hates wearing pants says:

"It's just about freeing yourself from anything you think is holding you back. And I think that's really important, especially for girls, because so many people are told, 'No, you can't do something,' or, 'You need to be this because Mom and Dad say that, teachers say this.'"

Yes, Miles, sometimes mom, dad, teachers and grown-ups with actual life experiences know better than their 15-year old daughters. Almost at all times, in fact.

Empowering?

Miley's truly profound, not remotely cliched advice for her young fans?

"Really think about what you want to do for the rest of your life. There's a short amount of time, when you think about it, and no day needs to go by wasted."

It's true. Why bother wasting that time by putting on clothing, right, Miley?

THG's feelings on Cyrus are quite well-known. So let's turn this over to our readers: Do you think Miley is an empowering figure for young girls?

 

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Darn you, Miley Cyrus! This is the second consecutive day you've done something to force our praise, rather than our scorn.

Yesterday, we gave you props for wearing pants and delivering an important message to fans.

Now, we must acknowledge the role you played last night at Nashville Rising: A Benefit Concert For Flood Recovery. The event was held at the Bridgestone Arena in Tennessee and raised money for victims of massive storms in that area earlier this year.

Said Miley, unfortunately bringing the tragedy back to herself: “We have a big farm with crops and I think that was affected a little bit. The scariest thing was not being able to get in touch with people because the phone lines were down."

  • Miley in Nashville
  • Nashville Concert Pic

As seen above, Taylor Swift also played a role in the concert. She said of the flooding:

“For me, the fact that there were members of my band that lost their homes really affected me because those are my friends. Those are the people I call up as soon as we get home. The fact that it affected my band, that’s the most directly it affected me.”

Toby Keith, Carrie Underwood, ZZ Top and Miranda Lambert also performed at the event. Below, check out more photos of Miley and Taylor from it:

  • Taylor Swift on Stage
  • Backstage Artists
  • Donning Pants!
  • Doing What She Can

** Sanda Bullock actually made a surprise, on-stage appearance, as well. Watch her on stage below.

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