Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Birthdays

The United States of America turns 236 years old today. That's quite the milestone.

But a couple other big names also celebrate birthdays, and each also represents the greatness of the country in which we all reside.

First, there's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, a man solely famous for his abdominal muscles, tolerance for alcohol (rehab stint not withstanding) and unusual vocabulary. He turns 30 today and we'd have to imagine there's a lot of gym, some tanning and also a bit of laundry in his future.

Where else would someone like this become a millionaire? Take that, France!

Then there's Malia Obama, newly 14 and the daughter of the first African-American President in our history. Her father is biracial and was raised in a poor household in Hawaii.

Love him or think he's the second coming of Karl Marx, Barack Obama represents the American dream.

So put down that firework, raise your Budweiser and toast the United States, The Situation and Malia today. Here's to hoping the Mayans were wrong and we're all around to honor year number 237.

Mike Sorrentino, a.k.a. the only guy who has a nickname (Sitch) for his own nickname (The Situation) celebrated his birthday yesterday on July 4.

It's an appropriate birthday for Mike, since only in America can a fella who contracts STDs, takes steroids, talks with a fake ghetto accent, instigates fights among friends and wears shirts four sizes too small become a household name.

We kid. Well, sort of. All of the above is true.

There's a genuineness about Sitch that makes the Jersey Shore star lovable in spite of his douche-like qualities. He also comes up with acronyms and catchphrase for everything and makes us laugh more than we like to admit.

He's taken a literal beating (from Ronnie) and a pounding in the press (from his dad) in recent months, but both feuds have reportedly been put to rest. So here's wishing The Situation a happy 30th birthday a few hours late.

We know, 30? Pretty soon he'll be "that guy" at the club.