by Free Britney at . Comments

Fist-pump. Pushups. Chapstick.

We were wondering how Jersey Shore would follow up the most recent episode, in which a wall KO'd The Situation, and well, there you have it.

While not exactly as catchy as GTL, FPC does have a ring to it. Luckily, there were more fist-pumps than actual fists thrown this week, as well.

As always, we recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break down last night's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Gonna Fist-Pump 'Til Our F--kin' Arms Fall Off!

Mike throws a pity party for himself. Only he attends. Minus 5.

Ronnie, of all people, decided to have a one-on-one with Mike, letting him know that he was there for him and that he could open up to him. Sniff. Plus 9.

Snooki argues with Jionni, who doesn't like to hear risque stuff or about her drinking. This from a man who is willingly dating EFFING SNOOKI. Minus 17.

Mr. Therapist Ron tells her to just be herself and that she can't change for a guy. He should talk, but Plus 6 because he's still right and being hella nice.

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Ronnie and Mike's epic throwdown on Jersey Shore picked up last night in a special Sunday episode before the Video Music Awards. So who won the big fight?

We're gonna say the wall by TKO.

In typical Jersey Shore fashion, the events had to be seen to be believed, and the fallout was uglier than the altercation itself. Never a dull moment ...

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break last night's episode, "And The Wall Won," THG +/- style!

Jersey Shore Cast Season 4 Pic

Not wasting any time, we pick up right where we left off, and the violence ensued when Ron's pent-up anger toward Mike could not be contained. Well, Sitch's head got rammed into the wall ... by Sitch. Seriously. Minus 20.

There's no attempting to explain that one. Vinny, Pauly D, Jenni and Snooki look on half-worried, but mostly just disgusted or stunned. It's hard to say. Plus 5.

Security eventually breaks it up. Plus 4 for saving Sitch and all, but Minus 4 because since when do they intervene when cast members beats on themselves?

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The Situation is calling out Abercrombie & Fitch over its "We'll Pay You to Not Wear Our Clothes" stunt, claiming he never received such an offer.

At the same time, he's totally up for it.

Chillin' in his Ferrari in the Garden State yesterday, he said, "Nobody's contacted me in any way about that ... but that's pretty crazy, you're really gonna pay someone NOT to wear something? Call me up man!"

It's The Sitch!

He makes a valid point. At least when he gets paid by MTV for Jersey Shore, he has to drink, fist-pump, stir up drama and sleep with too many girls.

Here, they want to pay him for doing even less!

Asked if he'd still support the clothing company, Sitch said, "I mean, their sweatpants are stukk cool with me, but I don't think people are supporting THEM any more ... I heard their stock dropped pretty badly."

He heard right. Touche.

[Photo: Fame Pictures]

by Free Britney at . Comments

Is Deena Nicole Cortese actually bisexual, or just putting on a show for MTV cameras? Unclear. Did she just pull a robbery on Sitch and Vinny? Quite clear!

That was not a Jersey Shore plot line we saw coming. The exposing of Sitch and Snook's smush session and the Ron-Sam reconciliation, however, felt inevitable.

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you below. Let's break last night's episode, "Twinning," THG +/- style!

Deena Girl-on-Girl Action

Snooki wants to grab a glass of wine with Ron before GTL. Lush. Minus 4.

He plans to have "the conversation" with Sam soon, he says. We're already feeling a bit scared, emotionally drained, and excited for the fireworks. Plus 5.

Snook feels Luigi's "weiner" at the gym. He nods and laughs, since he doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, which would be even funnier. Plus 3.

Deena is gettin' some Lean Cuisine. NOTE: Not the frozen dinner. Minus 2.

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Abercrombie & Fitch's timing, not unlike its earnings outlook, is less than stellar.

Just hours after their offer to Jersey Shore's The Situation - to pay him a "substantial amount" in exchange for him NOT wearing their apparel - the latest figures for the preppy retail chain were released. Short story? They sucked.

"Looks like Abercrombie got themselves into a Situation!" you-know-who tweeted.

Sorrentino Pic

Sitch, a.k.a. Mike Sorrentino, went on to add: "Thanks #SituationNation for having my back and you are the best fans in the world! I love you guys!"

An article detailing the steady decline of A&F stock coincidentally came out right after new wake of their non-endorsement offer to Sitch had leaked.

There was no mention of any correlation to the Jersey Shore cast's love for the brand, but company's stock took a dive of nine percent regardless.

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Lots of people pay The Situation big money for endorsements. Abercrombie & Fitch is looking to do the opposite - pay him NOT to wear the brand!

The company says in a news release that having Mike Sorrentino and his Jersey Shore castmates in A&F clothing could be disastrous to its image.

In short, it could cause "significant damage," if not irreparable harm.

Abs of Pain

Abercrombie & Fitch: Not pumped about Sitch.

Abercrombie feels any connections to The Situation will go against the "aspirational nature" of its brand and may be "distressing" to potential customers.

Hilariously, the Ohio-based retailer says it offered a "substantial payment" to Sitch and producers of the MTV show if he will just wear something else.

The company is also making the offer to others in the hard-partying cast, which has been known to rock those threads. MTV declined comment today.

On a related note, Aeropostale should really consider making a similar offer to Gary Shirley of Teen Mom. The guy wears that one shirt EVERY week!

[Photo: WENN.com]

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Single Ronnie made a return to Jersey Shore last night, while Pauly and Deena channeled Season 3 Snooki and Vinny with their potential, awkward "romance."

As for Season 4 Snooki, she was having issues with Jionni, and guess who was there to help her through them? This Situation? Not a good situation.

The second episode of the season offered plenty of amusing Jersey Shore quotes, as always, but the major drama of the summer is still to come.

Let's break down the second episode of the summer, THG +/- style!

Pauly and Deena

Minus 5 for the immediate continuation of the "romantic" scene with Pauly and Deena that was in our heads for days after the Season 4 premiere.

Ronnie is on the phone with a girl. Not named Sam. Or his mom! Her name's Hannah, and she's been "helping him get through some stuff." Stuff, he says ... It has a name, you know. A nickname, even: S-W-E-E-T-H-E-A-R-T. Plus 7.

Deena takes a spill as they return home. So predictable. Minus 4.

Pauly totes pretends to be passed out so he doesn't have to hit it or be forced to express overtly that he doesn't wish to hit it. Classic move. Plus 8.

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Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is actually not a complete jackass.

At least when it comes to money. The Jersey Shore star says he's been saving every penny because he knows one day his 15 minutes will be up.

Somewhere, a broke Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are sighing.

"I know that there's a beginning and an end to everything. I'm very conscious of that, so I save all my money," 30-year-old Sitch tells In Touch.

Mike 'The Situation'

"Any crazy stuff I have - the Ferraris and Lambos - those things were either gifted or came from endorsements. I haven't wasted my money."

Not only is he good about saving money, dude makes a ton.

In 2010, Sorrentino raked in an estimated $5 million thanks to his Jersey Shore salary, appearance fees, endorsement deals with Vitaminwater and Reebok, his own fitness video, a "GTL' app, a rap song and a book deal.

That's both impressive and more than a little depressing.

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Taking the MTV phenomenon they've created abroad, the cast members of Jersey Shore certainly didn't waste time getting down to business in Italy.

As the description on our Comcast digital guide put it, "violence," "intensely sexual situations" and "intensely suggestive dialogue" were prevalent.

While the season premiere didn't quite live up to the hype, it did set up a couple of key story arcs and offer plenty of amusing Jersey Shore quotes.

Let's break down the fourth season opener, THG +/- style!

Boning Up

Snooki shows off a pair of I Heart Vinny underwear as she packs. Plus 4.

"No granatos." - Vinny, boning up on his Italian and simultaneously conveying what he will not be boning in Italia. Allegedly. Amazing. Plus 9.

"I'll bring guys home, but I won't do sex." - Deena. Lie. Minus 6.

Uncle Nino said something ... well, it was authentic. Plus 8, because we really hope to see more of this guy. Same goes for Single Ronnie.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Vinny Guadagnino returned to Jersey Shore over the weekend, a little over a week after getting into an altercation with a cast member and bolting.

Reports say The Situation, who walked off the set in a similar huff, is also back into the fold. But the network is far from pleased with their antics.

MTV has instituted a "zero tolerance policy" for the Jersey Shore stars, threatening to fire any cast member who even thinks of going AWOL.

Sitch is Back

TMZ says the network is serious this time. Walk off the show again and you're fired, your contract will be terminated, period. No exceptions.

With two cast members nearly jumping ship in the same week, MTV wants to reassert a degree of authority and show the cast who's in charge.

Of course, it's an empty threat if they won't back it up, or the cast doesn't care. The Sitch firmly believes he doesn't need the show anymore.

For now, all is well in Seaside ... but give it a few hours.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Biography

Mike The Situation Photo Mike Sorrentino is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. He seems like a good dude. At least relative to the rest of his moronic... More »
Full Name
Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino
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