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Last week's Jersey Shore ended with a cliffhanger of sorts. After the realization that Snooki's kooka cuddled with Vinny's junk,she spilled the beans to Jionni.

In this episode, we saw the conclusion of this epic saga, which went about as you'd expect. Meanwhile, a lot of people are really not big fans of Situation.

We've always liked Mike in spite of his significant flaws. But his failure to see that he has such flaws - and thus feel sorry for himself - is beyond baffling.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

HOT Deena Nicole Cortese

Jionni clearly was not happy, but he merely sounded disappointed ... that low tone of voice designed to make the other party feel guilty and like a useless human being. Plus 14 for not screaming and thus making Snooki look sympathetic.

He told Snook that he "can't call her his girlfriend." Same here man. Plus 7.

Minus 11 because clearly they're back together, rendering this pointless.

Elsewhere on the aspiring roommate hookup front, wannabe Snooki Deena really wants her kooka to cuddle up to Pauly D. Minus 5 for not taking a hint.

Minus 20 more for how she says "do sex." NO ONE SAYS THAT.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

This has, without a doubt, been the best season of Jersey Shore yet.

There have been laughs. There have been tears. There have been fights culminating in walls knocking out Mike. There have been gratuitous displays of Snooki's kooka.

Could last night's installment meet these increasingly high standards set by the N.J. crew? Between meeting Vinny's family and another insane melee, it came close.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Ronnie is Shocked

Tension was already high after Snooki's breakup with Jionni and getting it in (or at least hooking up) with Vinny. Then Mike had to make it worse. Effing Mike. Minus 11.

JWoww tells Snooks about Mike's comments about what she supposedly did with him. Snooki flips out, justifiably. Plus 3. Mike then decides to apologize. Just kidding.

Sitch tells all the roommates that he gave his boy Unit Jionni's number so that he can tell him what really went down between the two. Yes, his name is Unit. Plus 4.

Since Mike is really the rat, and hardly for the first time, this prank did not exactly go over well. Minus 16 for lack of tact. Wrong time to punk your supposed friend. Of all people who don't need to stage a fake mole hunt, it's Mike.

Plus 29 for absolute eruption that inevitably followed, however.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

If you thought tensions were already high between The Situation and Snooki on Jersey Shore ... you were correct. But at the same time, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Tonight, the expletives - and bottles - start flying.

In this sneak peek from Thursday's all-new episode, a full-on brawl erupts and puts Mike at risk of injury. As if Ronnie/the wall didn't bang him up enough already:

What set off the kooka-flashing Poughkeepskie Princess this time?

Let's just say when the pot-stirring Sitch tricks the gang into thinking he called Snooki's boyfriend to tell him Snook's been cheating with Mike, it didn't go over well.

"F--k you!" Snooki screams, hurling a wine bottle at Sitch, then chasing him down and throwing any object within her ineffectual reach in his direction, yelling:

"What's your problem?! I don't f--king like you! I f--king hate you!"

Does the fact that he was kidding make it better or worse? We'll see.

THG POLL: Jersey Shore is ...

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is best known for taking his clothes off - and getting paid offers to do so - on Jersey Shore. That is sort of why he's famous.

Now, in a nice change of pace, he's trying clothes on - as a tuxedo model!

FLOW Formal Wear has been releasing some of its brand new shots of Sitch modeling their clothes all week long on Facebook. Peep this hilarious nonsense:

  • The Situation Abs
  • Prom Date
  • White Tux
  • The Situation: Ripped

The Situation: Best. Prom. Date. Ever.

Fortunately, Mike still found a way to flaunt his abs and guns in some of the promotional photos, even though he's supposed to be displaying formal wear.

Now that's what we call a situation!

[Photos: Flow Formal Wear]

by Free Britney at . Comments

If you thought last week's display of Snooki's kooka would turn the men of Jersey Shore away forever, you thought wrong. Apparently it did the opposite.

Seriously, what is it about this girl? After her antics caused a rift with Jionni (at least temporarily), TWO of the roommates immediately make their move?

Baffling. As is the concept of Deena raising a child. When she missed her period, let's just say all of humanity was hoping for a false alarm. Did we get it?

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we analyze Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- recap style!

Getting. It. In.

Snooki dances away the pain alone at the bar. Fortunately, no straight vagine. Plus 7.

Forced to pretend she has a job, Deena cleans the bathrooms at work. Pretty gross, we have to say. The bathrooms look respectable, however. Plus 4.

JWoww apologizes to Snooki for blowing her off, but soon enough, warns Snooki to not act like Sammi over Jionni. Sage advice from our girl J. Plus 5.

Plus 12 for Sam telling JWoww that she'd prefer to be mocked as "the old Sam" because Sam 2.0 is so much better at relationships. Self-deprecating!

Ronnie and Sammi actually do seem stable lately. Relatively. Plus 5.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Effing Snooki.

Last night was all about the pint-sized princess, but surprisingly, the car crash that ended last week's episode paled in comparison to what followed.

Jionni came to visit, and even if the producers weren't hinting at this all season, it seemed inevitable that her conduct would mortify him. And it did.

Don't ask us how it would come as a surprise to Jionni, given that he's dating SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE. It's the nature of the beast, dude.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Snooki, Kooka

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Snooki and Deena avoided jail time for the police car mashup and the gang was allowed to stay in Florence. Fist-pump. Plus 3.

Snooki is no longer allowed to drive. Double fist-pump. Plus 4.

JWoww finds out that her boyfriend can't come out to visit. Minus 5, because we like Roger, and we felt bad for Jenni, tears welling on her fake eyelashes.

Snooki decides to use one of the twins to prank Sitch. This is at least the second time the twins have been used as sexual practical joke fodder. Plus 4.

The goal? To bust Mike bringing another girl home. Which happened as predicted ... but somehow only helped him get it in. Call it a Wash all around!

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Last week, Jersey Shore focused on the aftermath of Mike getting his ass kicked by a wall, and on Snooki's ongoing relationship issues with Jionni.

Amazingly, it was Ron who helped both his co-stars work through their issues. Elsewhere, Pauly and Vinny introduced us to the glory that is FPC.

Now that everything is back to normal (sort of), the gang reverted to vintage skanky, drunken, hilarious form at the (Italian) shore last night.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Deena and Snooki Kissing

The roommates/producers decide to take a weekend trip to visit the beaches in Riccione. How on earth did they ever get time off from "work"?? Minus 4.

"It looks like Hawaii, so it's like an island, or maybe on a border of a continent, you know what I mean, so it's like by ocean." - Effing Snooki. Minus 11.

So many suitcases, so few days, so little room atop Italian cars. Plus 2.

The guys met Mike's Italian "twin." Now THERE'S a situation! Plus 2.

At least he's neck brace-free now. Although that was hilarious. Wash.

The girls proceeded to get sloshed and learn how to say vagina in Italian. Plus 3, because that body part was certainly on the minds of two of them.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Handicapped people do get the best parking spots, this is true.

There's a reason for this, however. It allows those who have difficulty with their mobility to move shorter distances. It's not merely a suggestion.

Somehow Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino missed that memo.

Neck Brace

Yesterday, somewhere in New Jersey, a handicapped gentleman hoping to park close to a local business found himself thwarted ... by Sitch's Ferrari.

The displaced handicapped guy then had to use his cane to navigate the sports car. It was pretty sad ... for the guy, to be sure, but also for Mike's inability to park inside lines. It's really not that hard. Then again, he's really not that smart.

You'd think given Mike's recent experiences with a wall, he'd be a more sympathetic to the handicapped. Check out a video of the alleged offense:

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jersey Shore is back at war with Abercrombie & Fitch. This time, the feud is shirts he says blatantly use his name.

If you recall, last month A&F publicly offered to pay Sitch NOT to wear their clothing, insinuating that he's giving them a bad name and so on and so forth.

He claimed he never received such an offer, however. But here's the weird part:

Sitch is Pissed

A&F has previously marketed t-shirts obviously inspired by Situation and Jersey Shore, such as "GTL Fitch" and another that reads "The Fitchuation."

Fed up over this and last month's publicity stunt, Mike's lawyers are saying enough is enough, demanding the company yank the t-shirts immediately.

Sitch also believes his company MPS Entertainment owns the trademarks to such phrases and that A&F infringing on them. So they best pay up.

The company has until Tuesday to respond. In the meantime, those fools had better not even think of coming up with anything FPC-related.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Fist-pump. Pushups. Chapstick.

We were wondering how Jersey Shore would follow up the most recent episode, in which a wall KO'd The Situation, and well, there you have it.

While not exactly as catchy as GTL, FPC does have a ring to it. Luckily, there were more fist-pumps than actual fists thrown this week, as well.

As always, we recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break down last night's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Gonna Fist-Pump 'Til Our F--kin' Arms Fall Off!

Mike throws a pity party for himself. Only he attends. Minus 5.

Ronnie, of all people, decided to have a one-on-one with Mike, letting him know that he was there for him and that he could open up to him. Sniff. Plus 9.

Snooki argues with Jionni, who doesn't like to hear risque stuff or about her drinking. This from a man who is willingly dating EFFING SNOOKI. Minus 17.

Mr. Therapist Ron tells her to just be herself and that she can't change for a guy. He should talk, but Plus 6 because he's still right and being hella nice.

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Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Biography

Mike The Situation Photo Mike Sorrentino is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. He seems like a good dude. At least relative to the rest of his moronic... More »
Full Name
Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino
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