Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino

Effing Snooki.

Last night was all about the pint-sized princess, but surprisingly, the car crash that ended last week's episode paled in comparison to what followed.

Jionni came to visit, and even if the producers weren't hinting at this all season, it seemed inevitable that her conduct would mortify him. And it did.

Don't ask us how it would come as a surprise to Jionni, given that he's dating SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE. It's the nature of the beast, dude.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, Snooki and Deena avoided jail time for the police car mashup and the gang was allowed to stay in Florence. Fist-pump. Plus 3.

Snooki is no longer allowed to drive. Double fist-pump. Plus 4.

JWoww finds out that her boyfriend can't come out to visit. Minus 5, because we like Roger, and we felt bad for Jenni, tears welling on her fake eyelashes.

Snooki decides to use one of the twins to prank Sitch. This is at least the second time the twins have been used as sexual practical joke fodder. Plus 4.

The goal? To bust Mike bringing another girl home. Which happened as predicted ... but somehow only helped him get it in. Call it a Wash all around!

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Last week, Jersey Shore focused on the aftermath of Mike getting his ass kicked by a wall, and on Snooki's ongoing relationship issues with Jionni.

Amazingly, it was Ron who helped both his co-stars work through their issues. Elsewhere, Pauly and Vinny introduced us to the glory that is FPC.

Now that everything is back to normal (sort of), the gang reverted to vintage skanky, drunken, hilarious form at the (Italian) shore last night.

As always, we break down all of the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you as we recap Thursday's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

The roommates/producers decide to take a weekend trip to visit the beaches in Riccione. How on earth did they ever get time off from "work"?? Minus 4.

"It looks like Hawaii, so it's like an island, or maybe on a border of a continent, you know what I mean, so it's like by ocean." - Effing Snooki. Minus 11.

So many suitcases, so few days, so little room atop Italian cars. Plus 2.

The guys met Mike's Italian "twin." Now THERE'S a situation! Plus 2.

At least he's neck brace-free now. Although that was hilarious. Wash.

The girls proceeded to get sloshed and learn how to say vagina in Italian. Plus 3, because that body part was certainly on the minds of two of them.

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Handicapped people do get the best parking spots, this is true.

There's a reason for this, however. It allows those who have difficulty with their mobility to move shorter distances. It's not merely a suggestion.

Somehow Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino missed that memo.

Yesterday, somewhere in New Jersey, a handicapped gentleman hoping to park close to a local business found himself thwarted ... by Sitch's Ferrari.

The displaced handicapped guy then had to use his cane to navigate the sports car. It was pretty sad ... for the guy, to be sure, but also for Mike's inability to park inside lines. It's really not that hard. Then again, he's really not that smart.

You'd think given Mike's recent experiences with a wall, he'd be a more sympathetic to the handicapped. Check out a video of the alleged offense:

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Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jersey Shore is back at war with Abercrombie & Fitch. This time, the feud is shirts he says blatantly use his name.

If you recall, last month A&F publicly offered to pay Sitch NOT to wear their clothing, insinuating that he's giving them a bad name and so on and so forth.

He claimed he never received such an offer, however. But here's the weird part:

A&F has previously marketed t-shirts obviously inspired by Situation and Jersey Shore, such as "GTL Fitch" and another that reads "The Fitchuation."

Fed up over this and last month's publicity stunt, Mike's lawyers are saying enough is enough, demanding the company yank the t-shirts immediately.

Sitch also believes his company MPS Entertainment owns the trademarks to such phrases and that A&F infringing on them. So they best pay up.

The company has until Tuesday to respond. In the meantime, those fools had better not even think of coming up with anything FPC-related.

Fist-pump. Pushups. Chapstick.

We were wondering how Jersey Shore would follow up the most recent episode, in which a wall KO'd The Situation, and well, there you have it.

While not exactly as catchy as GTL, FPC does have a ring to it. Luckily, there were more fist-pumps than actual fists thrown this week, as well.

As always, we recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break down last night's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Mike throws a pity party for himself. Only he attends. Minus 5.

Ronnie, of all people, decided to have a one-on-one with Mike, letting him know that he was there for him and that he could open up to him. Sniff. Plus 9.

Snooki argues with Jionni, who doesn't like to hear risque stuff or about her drinking. This from a man who is willingly dating EFFING SNOOKI. Minus 17.

Mr. Therapist Ron tells her to just be herself and that she can't change for a guy. He should talk, but Plus 6 because he's still right and being hella nice.

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Ronnie and Mike's epic throwdown on Jersey Shore picked up last night in a special Sunday episode before the Video Music Awards. So who won the big fight?

We're gonna say the wall by TKO.

In typical Jersey Shore fashion, the events had to be seen to be believed, and the fallout was uglier than the altercation itself. Never a dull moment ...

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break last night's episode, "And The Wall Won," THG +/- style!

Not wasting any time, we pick up right where we left off, and the violence ensued when Ron's pent-up anger toward Mike could not be contained. Well, Sitch's head got rammed into the wall ... by Sitch. Seriously. Minus 20.

There's no attempting to explain that one. Vinny, Pauly D, Jenni and Snooki look on half-worried, but mostly just disgusted or stunned. It's hard to say. Plus 5.

Security eventually breaks it up. Plus 4 for saving Sitch and all, but Minus 4 because since when do they intervene when cast members beats on themselves?

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The Situation is calling out Abercrombie & Fitch over its "We'll Pay You to Not Wear Our Clothes" stunt, claiming he never received such an offer.

At the same time, he's totally up for it.

Chillin' in his Ferrari in the Garden State yesterday, he said, "Nobody's contacted me in any way about that ... but that's pretty crazy, you're really gonna pay someone NOT to wear something? Call me up man!"

He makes a valid point. At least when he gets paid by MTV for Jersey Shore, he has to drink, fist-pump, stir up drama and sleep with too many girls.

Here, they want to pay him for doing even less!

Asked if he'd still support the clothing company, Sitch said, "I mean, their sweatpants are stukk cool with me, but I don't think people are supporting THEM any more ... I heard their stock dropped pretty badly."

He heard right. Touche.

[Photo: Fame Pictures]

Is Deena Nicole Cortese actually bisexual, or just putting on a show for MTV cameras? Unclear. Did she just pull a robbery on Sitch and Vinny? Quite clear!

That was not a Jersey Shore plot line we saw coming. The exposing of Sitch and Snook's smush session and the Ron-Sam reconciliation, however, felt inevitable.

As always, we've recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you below. Let's break last night's episode, "Twinning," THG +/- style!

Snooki wants to grab a glass of wine with Ron before GTL. Lush. Minus 4.

He plans to have "the conversation" with Sam soon, he says. We're already feeling a bit scared, emotionally drained, and excited for the fireworks. Plus 5.

Snook feels Luigi's "weiner" at the gym. He nods and laughs, since he doesn't understand. Or maybe he does, which would be even funnier. Plus 3.

Deena is gettin' some Lean Cuisine. NOTE: Not the frozen dinner. Minus 2.

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Abercrombie & Fitch's timing, not unlike its earnings outlook, is less than stellar.

Just hours after their offer to Jersey Shore's The Situation - to pay him a "substantial amount" in exchange for him NOT wearing their apparel - the latest figures for the preppy retail chain were released. Short story? They sucked.

"Looks like Abercrombie got themselves into a Situation!" you-know-who tweeted.

Sitch, a.k.a. Mike Sorrentino, went on to add: "Thanks #SituationNation for having my back and you are the best fans in the world! I love you guys!"

An article detailing the steady decline of A&F stock coincidentally came out right after new wake of their non-endorsement offer to Sitch had leaked.

There was no mention of any correlation to the Jersey Shore cast's love for the brand, but company's stock took a dive of nine percent regardless.

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Lots of people pay The Situation big money for endorsements. Abercrombie & Fitch is looking to do the opposite - pay him NOT to wear the brand!

The company says in a news release that having Mike Sorrentino and his Jersey Shore castmates in A&F clothing could be disastrous to its image.

In short, it could cause "significant damage," if not irreparable harm.

Abercrombie & Fitch: Not pumped about Sitch.

Abercrombie feels any connections to The Situation will go against the "aspirational nature" of its brand and may be "distressing" to potential customers.

Hilariously, the Ohio-based retailer says it offered a "substantial payment" to Sitch and producers of the MTV show if he will just wear something else.

The company is also making the offer to others in the hard-partying cast, which has been known to rock those threads. MTV declined comment today.

On a related note, Aeropostale should really consider making a similar offer to Gary Shirley of Teen Mom. The guy wears that one shirt EVERY week!

[Photo: WENN.com]