Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino

It's a question for the ages.

The Situation (Mike Sorrentino) and DJ Pauly D (Paul DelVecchio) are two prominent members of the Jersey Shore cast on MTV. They are also a couple of Italian-American stud muffins who may not pump gas, but definitely pump iron.

The only debate? Which of these Garden State guidos you would rather ... well, you know. Vote in our informal survey below and weigh in on this critical topic:

Who would you rather ...

Mike Sorrentino is known as The Situation on Jersey Shore.

He is also known as the guy who refers to himself in the third person (by his nickname no less) and walks around with no shirt pretty much constantly.

Well, before The Situation became a Jersey Shore cast member, the dude was used to situations in which he wore no shirt ... or pants for that matter.

We're saying he was a stripper.

Mike Sorrentino (left) entertains at a bachelorette party.

According to TMZ, which unearthed classic pics of The Sitch, he was a member of the "All American Male" exotic dancer crew back before MTV stardom.

Mike Sorrentino worked for the group, which gyrates from New York to New Jersey, back in 2004. He now manages a gym on Staten Island (of course).

Rumor has it The Situation gives a "great lap dance." Maybe he could use that as a selling point to woo Sammi away from the juicehead guido Ronnie.

After our review of last week's Jersey Shore received a positive response (well, mostly), The Hollywood Gossip is making reviews of the show a weekly thing.

Below, we break down all the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode four, "Fade to Black," awarding and deducting points as we deem fit.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie reminds us of a high-strung Peter Andre on steroids. Plus 4.

When Sammi finds out Jenni and Ronnie went home together, she assumes they're hooking up and says she will "knock a b!tch up!" She's all talk. Minus 3.

After they make up, Ronnie confesses his love (sort of) for Sammi, and they get. It. On. We know because they admit it. Openly. Sammi says "of course" they had sex, and Ronnie says they totally "smooshed." Plus 4 for the use of "smooshed."

Pauly D on first impressions: "You got to stay fresh. Fresh haircut. Fresh outfit. Fresh tan. Just fresh." Plus 2 for that deodorant slogan waiting to happen.

A word on Mike's third-person use of his nickname, "The Situation." It was funny the first 12 times, but saying it like twice per sentence? Overkill. Minus 3.

Mike and Pauly D spend the episode trying to bag as many trash bags as possible. Plus 6 for Pauly taking "the grenade" for the team, and for being very polite when he discovered he couldn't score with that girl because of her period.

THE SITUATION AND DJ PAULY D: Caption rendered unnecessary.

Jenni (JWOWW) and her boyfriend fight on the phone over her hookup with Pauly. Minus 2 for boredom and Minus 2 more for constant use of the weird duck phone.

Plus 3 for the best excuse ever, courtesy of Snooki. Jenni was not being a trash bag of her own free will that night: house music made her do it. We've all been there.

Speaking of Snooki, you know this night is gonna get ugly when she wears a belt as a skirt (censorship required!). Minus 5 for the skank factor (even for this show).

Snooki's reply to her mom's observation that the beach looks dirty? "It's the Jersey Shore." Plus 6 for the inevitable press release from N.J.'s tourism department.

You knew it was coming: A guido named Brad Ferro yoinks one of the housemates' drinks. Snooki confronts him. Her a$$ proceeds to get knocked the f*%k out by this lunatic. Minus 9 for punching a chick, even one as annoying as Snooki.

Plus 5 for MTV pulling the Snooki sucker punch. Given Snooki's personality and the over-the-top nature of the show, it might seem funny (at least to the type of person who cracks up during a preview for I Am Sam), but it's no laughing matter.

TOTAL: +6! SEASON: +19! Still entertaining, and the Snooki drama made it a must-see, but the shore-ites annoyed us more than charmed us this week. What do you think? Is the novelty wearing off already or are you hooked?

MTV’s Jersey Shore is rapidly becoming America’s latest guilty pleasure - and not just for the cast's liberal use of hair gel and use of borderline offensive terms.

For these addictively trashy twenty-somethings, it's all about lookin' good. Livin' La Vida Guido may look like a joyride, but believe Pauly D, it takes some work.

"A guy from [the] Jersey Shore is a guy that is looking good, feeling confident, taking care of himself,” DJ Pauly D said of his now-infamous attire and hair.

"It takes me 25 minutes to get it right. Greatness takes time, and this hair right here is greatness. I have it down to a tee, but this is a process right here.”

You heard it here, folks. Greatness takes time.

Jersey Shore's The Situation, J-WOWW, Snooki and Pauly D.

"At the end of the day, it’s not about Italians coming together, it’s about a lifestyle,” says Jenni Farley (aka "J-WOWW") “We all live by a certain lifestyle."

"It's all about the hair, the makeup, the tans, being fit. It’s all preparation for the summer." Seconds Snooki (aka "Nicole Pilozzi"): "I look good in anything!"

As for critics who bash the show's Italian-American stereotyping, Mike Sorrentino (aka "The Situation") asks that fans of Jersey Shore show a little patience.

"It’s only the first episode and we’re only seven days in, so you have to give us a chance," says the Staten Island native. "You can’t judge a book by its cover."

No but with this show, you can come pretty close. If you haven't seen it, it's exactly as bad as you think it is ... but that doesn't mean it's not entertaining!

Mike Sorrentino, who "unveiled" his new persona The Situation on last night's episode of Jersey Shore, did not impress Sammi with the new moniker.

But he's already a hit with the MTV show's viewers, though, and it should come as no surprise that he's looking at getting The Situation trademarked.

Yes, really.

"I'm trying," Mike Sorrentino, the assistant manager of a gym (of course) when he's not tanning, boozing and pumping his fist on the Jersey beach.

"I'm in the process of it right now. I don't know if it's possible, but I'm trying ... They're actually selling 'I Love The Situation' panties on MTV.com!"

A 27-year-old native of Staten Island (of course) says he gets "bombarded all day long" with praise from friends and fans since the show debuted.

That's because Jersey Shore, with its self-described "guidos" and "guidettes" sharing a summer house in Seaside Heights, N.J., is a bona fide hit.

Negative stereotypes and offended Italian-Americans aside, Mike Sorrentino makes no apologies for bragging about living what he calls the Guido Lifestyle.

"I'm very confident in being Italian," he says. "I'm proud to have spiky hair and to have my six-pack. Whoever doesn't like it, I'm not really too worried about it because everybody should love themselves. If you don't love yourself, who will?"

Obviously not housemate Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancarlo.

After a heavy flirtation with Mike, Sammie ended up hooking up with the most muscled housemate, Ronnie Magro, on last night's Jersey Shore.

"I was a little upset," Mike admits. "I am a little bit of a wild kid but at the same time, I have that sensitive side. I would love to settle down."

Well, there are always gay guys to make him feel better: "I'll be honest, I definitely like the attention," he says of his appeal to the other team.

"I'm flattered if there are guys that have crushes on me."