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As Jersey Shore goes, Season 2, Episode 2 ("The Hangover") was not among the greatest. How could it be with the primary focus on Sammi and Ronnie?

While Ronnie pretended not to remember what he did the night before, Sammi gave him the cold shoulder ... until she came around for the 293rd time.

Also heavily featured in this week's episode? Angelina Pivarnick. Like Sammi and Ronnie, she really needs an intervention, or a just ticket home ASAP.

At a certain point it's just boring and annoying. Meltdowns are supposed to be fun to watch, right? Though we suppose JWoww may still throw down.

Anyway, here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

Season 2 Jersey Shore Cast

Ronnie, on hooking up with land mines and grenades in the premiere: "Yo, I was doin' mad work tonight bro! Mad work!" Yo, you're a douche, bro! Minus 8.

Vinny says one of Ronnie's hookups plays tight end for the Giants. Plus 4.

Pauly D coins another gem: "Ronnie's new nickname is IFF. The I'm F*%ked Foundation. He's a client and the president!" Plus 7, because it's funny and true.

For a girl nicknamed Sweetheart, Sammi really isn't that nice. Minus 16. We're just saying. These girls are all catty, but she's miserable and not even funny.

JWoww at the tranny store: "The sex shop is perfect. Perfect ... It's my scene. And when I get into my scene I get into my clothes." What clothes? Minus 6.

After buying a $395 pair of sunglasses, Snooki walks around blind, seeks pickles, ruins dinner, and does a half-ass job cleaning it up. Standard. Plus 9.

Delivery guy: What's the name? Mike: Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n. Plus 5.

Snooki and JWoww confront Angelina about smack-talk pertaining to their friends/boyfriends. JWoww threatens violence many, many times. Plus 13.

Sammi and Ronnie Pic

Give it a rest, you guys. Seriously.

Pauly D's new boss is concerned about his hair. His response: "This hair ain't movin' my dude. 150 miles per hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn't move. What makes you think it's gonna move in a gelato shop?" Amen. Plus 14.

The Situation introduces the shirt-before-the-shirt concept: "We have an abundance of wife beaters ... we wear before we go out. Then it's T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt." Plus 11.

At the club, The Situation gets bitten while making out with a panty-less drunk girl. Happens to the best of us on Thursday nights. Hang in there. Minus 4.

Pauly D hooks up with a girl who, according to Angelina, is married. She confronts him about this, apparently unaware that 1. She used to date a married guy herself, and 2. Pauly D obviously doesn't care, girl! Chill! Plus 7.

After professing her love to Pauly D (seriously), Ange proceeds to SLAP HIM. Minus 19 for being generally insane, and Minus 12 more for this being the most pathetic slap ever. Everyone hates you anyway ... put your back into it!

Plus 3 for next week's promo. After this week, it should be hilariously awkward.

TOTAL: +8. SEASON: +34. Follow this link for the night's Jersey Shore quotes!

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Will The Situation (Mike Sorrentino) from Jersey Shore guest star on Bones? That's the rumor, as a Jersey Shore-inspired episode is already in the works!

The Fox series' creator, Hart Hanson, says he has approached The Situation to guest star in an October episode modeled, in part, after the MTV hit show.

“We’re trying to get The Situation to play a murder victim,” he said. “A guido is killed and Booth and Brennan enter that world to find out what happens."

"We’re not sure if it’ll actually happen or not. Talks are ongoing.”

Sources say The Situation would play fitness guru Ritchie “The V” Genero, with the role of Ritchie’s Victoria Gotti-esque mom not cast as of right now.

How will Bones star David Boreanaz handle this Situation?

“Bones actually understands them because she considers [guidos] to be a tribe,” explains Boreanaz. Adds star Emily Deschanel: “Brennan anthropologically studies them and knows the lingo and the behavior. [She's] down with the guido stuff.”

Aren't we all by now? The only disappointing thing about this story is that J-Woww hasn't been also cast as a guidette prostitute and steroids dealer.

Deschanel predicts that the episode will be packed with references to the breakout reality hit, noting “I guarantee that there will be a fist pump.”

There will be some here if this comes to fruition.

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The greatness/awfulness that is Jersey Shore is back. As advertised, Season 2 features a new shore (pity Miami Beach), but the same crazy. And then some.

We were concerned that the cast's celebrity status would diminish the show's luster, but the genuineness of these characters (for better or worse) was there.

So was the entertainment. While predictable, it was great to have The Situation, Snooki, Pauly D, J-Woww, Ronnie, Sammi, Vinny and that other girl back.

Here's The Hollywood Gossip's scientific plus-minus recap ...

En route to pick up the Sitch, Pauly D sums up Northeast winters: "Can't do nothin' in this weather. Can't tan, can't creep ... Girls stay in the house." Plus 5.

A dark brown Snooki laments that she no longer tans since "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Pretty sure that doesn't take effect until like 2014. Minus 4.

Jersey Shore Season 2 Cast

JWoww and Snooki ridicule Angelina's self-proclaimed "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" moniker. "With what ass?" JWoww muses. A valid point. Plus 3.

No one expected Angelina Pivarnick back this season. She awkwardly greets Pauly D and The Situation, who reluctantly let her bunk with them. Minus 1.

Down south, Snooki discovers "life-changing" fried pickles. They did look good. Plus 2. That dude in the restaurant gets a Plus 1 for his fist-pump, too.

Ronnie and Sammi reunite. The tension is thick, lame and boring. This is totally going to be a drawn-out, painful Audrina-Justin kind of thing. Minus 7.

Pauly D does a quick pro-con on the Angelina situation: She's annoying and causes drama, but there could be a slow night with no chicks, so ... Plus 18.

While the guys are awkward but mostly tolerant of Angelina, the girls are ready to full-on brawl. Holy crap, JWoww needs to lay off the steroids. Minus 5.

As a general rule, it's hard not to smile at what a blast the guys are having with this show. The girls, meanwhile, just come off miserable and catty. Even.

One of the Boys

Cons: Annoying drama queen. Pros: Easily accessible.

Lending a hand scrubbing in the sink after a DISASTER involving Sammi’s FAVORITE white shorts, Snooki says "I feel like a pilgrim from the freakin' '20s." Plus 6.

An intoxicated Ronnie calls Sammi an "ungrateful c**t" and says she will "never f*%king win." Win what, you effing moron? Get over yourself. Minus 13.

Vinny sums up the night: "Ronnie's obliviated at this point." Plus 6.

The Situation: "Ron is at the club hooking up with grenades, which is a bigger ugly chick, and land mines, which is a thinner ugly chick, and ... loving life." Plus 11.

Sure enough, Ronnie mauls one of each. Minus 8 for the nasty close-up.

An additional Plus 12 for the previews of future episodes. Wow.

TOTAL: +26. Follow this link for the night's best Jersey Shore quotes!

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Mike Sorrentino is taking control of the situation. Pun ... intended!

Perhaps the best known member of the Jersey Shore cast has signed a deal for a third season. Now his goal is to get the rest of his raise-seeking crew on board.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, all eight of the principal stars were close to signing new contracts today after initially asking for $30,000 per episode.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley and the rest of their partners in crime made $5,000 an episode in Season 1 and $10,000 per for Season 2.

Considering the first season was only nine episodes, that really wasn't that much. Season 2 will feature a robust 24 episodes, giving the cast a big raise.

Yet they wanted more still, and it looks like they'll get it.

  • Situation Pic
  • Situation Shirtless

No word if The Sitch's contract has a steroids clause. As in he must use them.

MTV released the following statement: "We don't comment on any contractual conversations. Season 2 premieres July 29 and production is on schedule."

Rest assured, The Situation is already ahead of schedule. Rumor has it he was offered a one-time $60,000-$180,000 bonus to sign on for Season 3 and 4.

The network supposedly thinks The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D are the only three non-expendable stars, but hopefully the gang will remain intact.

"Mike has been packed and ready to go for days for Jersey Shore 3 and is excited to move forward with the shooting," his manager said in a statement.

"After hearing there was a rumored strike, Mike decided in order to get Season 3 done, he was going to have to lead the pack and wants to encourage the rest of his cast to follow his lead and return for another amazing season of Jersey Shore."

"Mike is confident the rest of the cast will rally around him as they have in the past. The Situation has always been respected and well-liked by the entire cast. He felt that he could break the stalemate by putting these rumors to rest."

Ever-altruistic, and always a leader.

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If you've ever wanted to look as ripped as Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from Jersey Shore, well here's your chance. You don't even have to take HGH either.

The reality star is releasing a workout DVD so his fans can get their own abdominal situation on. He shot the video in New Jersey the other day with GT Media.

Italia

Sources tell the N.Y. Post the "intense total-body workout" includes a "bonus abs" section. The man manages a gym on Staten Island ... he knows his stuff.

Dude is so ripped, his pants can't even stay buttoned.

No word yet if Sorrentino, who is also releasing a clothing line soon, also has tips on applying hair gel, hitting on women or getting that special orange tan.

We guarantee The Situation quotes are priceless, though.

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If you've seen him on TV, you know he's not exactly dying to be exclusive with anyone. But that doesn't mean Mike Sorrentino isn’t looking around for love.

But what exactly is The Situation looking for?

Jersey Shore Homies

“I’m a Cancer and I’m Italian,” he said at the launch of NoX Edge, the workout steroid supplement. “I like to take care of people and do nice things. It doesn’t matter if her hair is blonde or brown, but she must be giving and generous, like myself.”

“Looks are big,” Mike concedes, while evaluating any romantic options.

Maybe for long-term prospects, anyway. Dude hooked up with Snooki.

Can you resist a piece of this? Think about it, this display was during a red carpet appearance ... it's as clothed as you'll ever see him. Talk about a Situation!

Sorrentino notes that the ideal woman goes deeper than the surface elements of romance, although she does have to work well with him and his lifestyle.

“I’m the type of person that’s open, whatever happens, happens,” The Situation says. “Ultimately, she’s just got to work well with the way I live my life."

"I need a girl who knows a relationship is 50-50.”

But he cautions that if certain boundaries are overstepped, he's outta here: “If she’s bossy, controlling or high maintenance, those are dealbreakers for me.”

Jersey Shore premieres July 29. Check out the Season 2 trailer!

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Wanna look like The Situation? Forget fake tanning and crunches.

Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino is set to make it easy for fans to copy his unique look: Us Weekly reports the well-chiseled ladies' man has partnered with Dilligaf by Bohica Bill to launch a line of "couture" clothing. 

Your Shirt is Too Small

These T-shirts, sweatshirts and accessories will hit stores next month.

This is more confusing than the popularity of Jersey Shore itself: When was the last time The Situation even wore a shirt?!?

"Mike 'The Situation' embodies our irreverent approach to life," wrote Dilligaf President Jodi Massry, supposedly seriously, in a statement. "He lives the 'Let's not take things so seriously' mentality every day."

By the way: Dilligaf stands for "Do I Look Like I Give A F***. Seriously. We couldn't make that up if we tried.

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If you thought his attempt at rap was difficult to stomach, sources on the set of Jersey Shore say The Situation's diva-like antics are making him a pain to deal with.

The Sitch (Mike Sorrentino) has become an egomaniac convinced he knows more about making a hit show than the producers or MTV - and he's calling the shots.

As one source summed up the matter of the Staten Island gym manager, "It's gotten ridiculous. If we tell [Mike] not to cross the street, he will. He just defies us."

Moreover, the producers are trying to keep the cast real, despite the guys and girls being quasi-celebrities at this point, and that task is hardest with The Situation.

Angelina and The Situation

Jersey Shore's The Situation with Angelina (the random girl who left).

They don't want the Jersey Shore cast members making deals on the phone, bragging to others about their fame or their wallet, etc. - and he's out of control.

As a result, a lot of what's shot is unusable, because it doesn't even resemble a reality show - and that's not even what's getting to the MTV producers most.

Once a week, the cast is given time to deal with personal business deals off camera. Mike is on the phone all the time, 'cause he thinks peeps wanna see this.

You could say it's become a bit of a frustrating ... Situation.

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We were just thinking that The Situation from Jersey Shore needed to embark on a rap career and release a song called "The Situation" when lo and behold!

The hot track hits iTunes next week. The Sitch knows a thing or two about wife-beaters, but his beats? Would you call them ill - or will they simply make you ill?

A collaboration with Fatman Scoop, DJ Class, The Disco Fries, the song may be one of the worst attempts at music in history even after all the sound effects.

But who are we to judge? Take a listen and vote for yourself:

What do you think of The Situation's attempt at rap?

 

by Free Britney at . Comments

One is a Grammy-winning singer and certifiable douchebag who gets lots of girls and brags about it with absurd comments regarding sexual napalm.

The other is an MTV reality star who talks about himself in the third person, fake tans, also gets a lot of (far less attractive) girls and is proud of it.

  • John Mayer Hair
  • We Gots a Situation

One has chiseled abs because he works at a gym. The other last visited in gym in approximately 1998. One has earrings, the other lots of hair.

If it came down to John Mayer or The Situation, and your life depended on it and/or you were really drunk, who would you rather ... you know?

It's a difficult call, we sympathize with you. But vote below.

Who would you rather ...

 

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Biography

Mike The Situation Photo Mike Sorrentino is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. He seems like a good dude. At least relative to the rest of his moronic... More »
Full Name
Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino
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