Michelle McGee is a tattoo model, whatever that is. She's also Jesse James' alleged side piece in his Sandra Bullock cheating antics....

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We all know that text messages can sometimes be hilarious. Like when they're sent by mom.

Or if the the characters on Game of Thrones ever learned how to text.

But sometimes it's best to just put your phone away and think twice - nay, three times! - before picking it back up and hitting Send.

Like when you're slamming a famous ex-girlfriend and her untalented lady parts. Or when you're a married professional golfer and you wanna bang a porn star. Or when your name is Anthony Weiner.

Below, THG presents 13 of the most well-known celebrity text message scandals of all-time, with far too many involving penis photos and one too many involving a bloodied, beaten Rihanna:

Justin Bieber vs. Selena Gomez
They've gotten back together and broken up again since, but in January 2014, Justin Bieber allgedly texted Selena Gomez to keep her "talentless [lady part]" away from him.

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Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, the tattooed, fame-seeking floozy who broke up Jesse James' marriage to Sandra Bullock in 2010, apparently starred in a sex tape.

Shocking, we know.

McGee got down and dirty with two equally-tattooed sex fiends earlier this year, and the private XXX liaisons were all caught on tape. Seriously. TMZ has a pic.

A Michelle McGee Image

Unlike the Tupac sex tape, which was just sold to a private collector, the Michelle McGee sex tape is now in the hands of a giant porn company. Yeah baby.

The Bombshell footage documents two separate sexual encounters: 1. With a tatted-up dude; 2. With a tatted-up woman. Both were filmed in the last year.

It's unclear how, but we're told the tapes were acquired by porn giant Red Light District (of 1 Night in Paris fame) which plans to release the footage next year.

Somehow we don't imagine that will be a big seller, even if it is a hot 2-DVD box set. McGee, for once in her waste of a life, could not be reached for comment.

[Photo: WENN.com]

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Michelle "Bombshell" McGee says Kat Von D really shouldn't have expected anything less than being cheated on by Jesse James repeatedly. Hey, she would know.

Just hours after Kat claimed James cheated on her with 19 women, McGee said she warned Von D days after her engagement that the relationship wouldn't last.

She's right, too. She did say that, and it didn't last.

  • K. Von D.
  • Michelle Bombshell Picture

Kat (left) probably won't receive a sympathetic call from Bombshell (right).

"I'd have been surprised if they made it to the altar," said McGee, who got a lot of mileage out of being railed by James while he was married to Sandra Bullock.

An an interview with TMZ Tuesday, McGee did not seem particularly sympathetic to Von D. That's putting it mildly. She called her a "dumbass" and "irrelevant."

"She got my sloppy seconds and her show got canceled ... rough year, Kat Von Dude!"

Ouch. Although it's more like sloppy 20ths at this point if we're being technical.

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Michelle McGee is back, and she's dropping some bombshells on Jesse James and Kat Von D.

The face-tattooed woman who slept with James during his marriage to Sandra Bullock told a New Zealand radio station this week that she knew the moment her relationship with the biker was over: when he cried over Bullock's speech at the Oscars.

"What a croc of s--t," she said of that night. "He had crocodile tears. It was pathetic. I sat there and said, 'That guy has been lying to me this entire time.' So we've never spoke since then."

  • The Bombshell
  • Jesse J. Photo

Referring to James as a "typical pig," McGee also takes exception to his labeling of his main private part as "Vanilla Gorilla." The dude is only "average," Michelle says, and she ought to know: Bombshell is in New Zealand for the Erotica Expo.

As for Kat Von D, who felt the wrath of James' cheating unit? McGee simply says "I told you so" and refers to her as "Kat Von Dude." Ouch!!!

[Photos: WENN.com]

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Home wrecking legend Michelle "Bombshell" McGee is living the dream. She's got a hot tattoo on her forehead and a new boyfriend in Luke Urek.

He's from Australia.

Fortunately for the tattooed exotic dancer and former Jesse James mistress, there's no home for her to wreck with Urek, a fellow ink-o-phile.

McGee Pic Urek

McGee said she was told by a psychic she'd meet her future husband Down Under. Wonder if the psychic also said she would end Sandra Bullock's marriage.

Then she laid eyes on her male doppelganger, freestyle motocross rider Urek, while performing at Sexpo last year. Guess you can call it love at first sight.

"We actually met through a mutual friend," Michelle McGee said. "I came down to visit Luke and arrived here last week, but have to leave on Sunday."

Hang over her, Luke. She's one of a kind.

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Jesse James is engaged to Kat Von D. This came as a bit of a surprise, as he's been divorced for only about half a year. But we wish them the best. Seriously.

His former mistress Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, though? She's just interested in clinging to whatever's left of her 15 minutes. Mere seconds, hopefully.

Her latest, amusing claim? That sex with Jesse James was merely average.

Michelle McGee Naked Pic

Yes, Jesse James cheated on Sandra with that.

Chatting about their 11-month affair, taking place while he was married to Sandra Bullock, Bombshell didn't hold back on The Wendy Williams Show Tuesday.

McGee claims their sex sessions were "average," and that their first encounter - when she came to his office for an "interview" - was less than smooth.

"It was weird ... he asked me to sit on the couch next to him and watch a movie," said McGee, a mother of two. "It was very 12-year-old. He kind of did the whole reaching around and that’s where he started kissing me. It was very awkward."

Things didn't get better from there.

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Bombshell McGee may not have enjoyed herself in Las Vegas this week with Charlie Sheen, but a witness tells TMZ the actor was in heaven at The Palms Hotel and Casino.

Detailing a penthouse full of "big booby blonde girls fighting for his attention," this source got a look at Sheen's suite and said: "It looked like porn star auditions... the girls were all over him and he just sat back and took it all in."

Bree Olson Pic

Charlie Sheen contemplates which STD to get tested for first...

The Two and a Half Men star "loved the attention" and seemed like he was "in his environment," this onlooker added. Guests included McGee, her pal Lindsay Sinai and Bree Olson.

Tragically, however, Sheen came down with what his rep described as an "ear infection" immediately following his return to Los Angeles and arrived late to the set of his terrible sitcom.

For Sheen's sake, let's hope that "ear infection" doesn't leave sores on his mouth.

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Little is known about what went on inside Charlie Sheen's penthouse at The Palms this week.

But hilarious reports really do confirm that Michelle "Bombshell" McGee was one of the women that stopped by late into the actor's drunken Vegas binge. Yes, that Michelle "Bombshell" McGee!

Would the tattooed mistress do so again? Would she like to spend another evening with the Two and a Half Men star? She makes it clear in the video below.

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Given his history of drug use and shady sex, it would take a serious bombshell to surprise us when it comes to Charlie Sheen news.

Enter Michelle McGee!

The Mistress of the Year finalist was reportedly included in the entourage of loose women that spent a drunken 24 hours with the actor in Las Vegas this weekend, as TMZ reports she and Sheen's number-one porn star, Bree Olson, made out during Pauly Shore's comedy show at The Palms on Sunday.

Outside Court

Charlie Sheen may have been caught between Michelle McGee and Bree Olson this week. Literally!

McGee then showed up at Sheen's penthouse that night, arriving around 2 a.m. to a scene that included a lot of alcohol and naked bodies. It was a "trainwreck inside," sources say.

Still, Michelle hung out for a couple hours. No word if Sheen did the same... if you know what we disgustingly mean!

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Where would THG be without good cheating scandals? Sure, these women are trashy beyond belief, but boy do they keep things interesting with their sexting, locking themselves in closets, making up sex tape rumors and such.

We despise them. And applaud their efforts. Below are THG's esteemed finalists for the Rachel Uchitel Award as the top celebrity mistress of 2010 ...

Michelle McGee Picture

Two of Tiger Woods' more disgusting, entertaining mistresses.

Devon and Joslyn James. Yes, we know Tiger Woods' mistresses are soo 2009. But Devon James and Joslyn James (no blood relation, LOTS of sexual relations) simply refused to crawl back in the hole from whence they came.

Brittney Jones. Ashton Kutcher's alleged mistress is relentless. That much cannot be disputed. Every time her accusations are shot down, she comes up with even more ridiculous ones. Threesomes, sex tapes ... snuff films may be next.

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