by Free Britney at . Comments

On this week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, "True Love, True Lies," we saw plenty of both as the gang partied both in Chicago and down at the Shore.

We break down all the love, laughs, and lies in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa is on the cover of yet another magazine?!? But really, is anyone shocked. If Teresa's in this for any reason it's certainly the fame…and the money. 

Plus 10 because the most amusing part is that no one can stop talking about the puppy. There on the cover of In Touch magazine is canine phobic Teresa with a cuddly pup. Of course it wasn't her idea.

RHONJ Stars

The celebrity news magazine brought the adorable pooch along for the photo shoot. Maybe they were trying to soften Teresa's slightly tarnished image.

In the article Teresa claims her friends bully her because of her financial problems. Minus 8. Teresa never met a dollar she couldn't spend. It certainly doesn't look like she's buying the kid's clothes at Walmart. 

But who needs money when you've got love. Unfortunately we were treated to Teresa trying to give Joe a wake up call in Chicago which included a shot of the lube they used on their bedside table.

Did we really need to see that? Minus 15. Then Joe mentions giving himself his own wake up call. That's just way too much information.

As if that weren't enough we got a lovely glimpse into some romantic pillow talk between Joe and Teresa…

Joe: "Your breath smells ilke hot dogs from last night."
Teresa: "My breath smells like your hot dog."

If that doesn't make you feel all warm and fuzzy then I don't know what will. Minus 20 while I go find my toothbrush and try to burn that piece of dialogue from my brain.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile of The Real Housewives of New Jersey appeared on The View yesterday. But the castmates did not do so as a group.

Due to what she referred to as "family issues," Giudice refused to conduct her interview alongside Gorgoa and Wakile, telling the co-hosts:

"We have family issues that we need to resolve and I didn't think that today was the appropriate time, you know, in front of an audience and it to be done in just a few minutes."

We gotta give props to the Bravo producers for staging this controversy and finding a way to extend the feud beyond their show. And negative props to The View for allowing itself to be used in such a manner.

Teresa Giudice on The View

Meanwhile, an insider tells The New York Daily News that Gorga "flipped out" when she learned Giudice would not be on stage with her, supposedly telling someone over her cell phone

"Our plan is ruined... we have to come up with another way to take her down.”

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by Free Britney at . Comments

This week's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, "Uncivil Union," had nothing to do with the upcoming gay wedding and everything to do with the family drama between friends and siblings ... what else is new.

We break down all the crass comments and wardrobe disasters in THG's +/- recap!

Caroline's brother Jaime is getting married to his partner Rich at their place in Chicago which looks like a cross between a Swiss chalet and a miniature golf course.

I can't say I've ever seen anything like it but Plus 20 to the happy couple. Too bad the rest of their family and friends can't follow their example.

All Eyes on the Wedding

The dress code for the big day consists of floral prints and pastels and an emphasis on hats for the ladies. Plus 10 because who hasn't wanted an excuse to wear one of those ridiculous looking English hats. 

Considering what some of the rest of the ladies were wearing this episode, the silly hats weren't looking so bad. 

Take Teresa who hangs out at home in a tube top, hot pink Daisy Dukes, and those strange leather string boots. And Minus 7 for letting the baby toddle around in those four inch heels. I was just waiting for her to topple over and the crying to begin.

Then we had Kim D. hanging out in her string bikini. Minus 12. Between the fake boobs and the sun damaged skin I wanted to beg her to put on a shirt.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey had a field day last night. 

No, really. They called it Field Day when the whole gang got together to have some fun. So who can't get through the day without a meltdown? 

We'll break it all down for you in THG's +/- review.

Teresa Giudice on The Real Housewives of NJ

Teresa Giudice heads home after Kathy's party and tells Joe all about the argument with her brother. Well, that's a mistake. Wasn't she just telling her brother that he shouldn't share their conversations with his wife?

Minus 10. She should really take her own advice.

Joe Guidice reaction has become so typical of him I'm no longer surprised. He tells his wife, "You're a f**kin' idiot for even talking to your f**kin' brother." 

Nice. Minus 12.

But it actually gets worse. After cursing out his brother-in-law he tells Teresa the Gorgas aren't allowed in his home. When Teresa says that will upset her parents Guidice says he'll kick them out too. 

He ends his tirade by telling her, "When I say something, you f**kin' listen and shut up," and if she doesn't he threatens to leave her and the kids.

What a guy. Minus 20.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Here comes the drama.

Hanging out by the pool. Doesn't that sound relaxing? Yes, unless you're on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Then it's pretty much the exact opposite.

Then you'll probably need a stiff drink to get through an afternoon in the sun.

We recap all the fussing, feuding, and name calling in our THG's +/- recap!

Teresa G. Photo

How can you not love Caroline's mock phone call between Teresa and Joe? It was hilarious. Plus 10

And why does Caroline think Teresa hates Melissa. Because "she's a better, younger version" of Teresa. Plus 8. That sounds about right.

But as everyone else is discussing Teresa's behavior, Teresa is telling her husband her version of the Solstice party and Joe has some definite opinions.

First, Melissa is a horse-face, gold digging tramp. Caroline is boring. Rosie's a butchy boy, and the idiot cousin (I can only assume he means Kathy ... no offense to Kathy) looks like a frog. 

Joe Guidice certainly has an opinion about everyone but the scariest is the one he holds about himself. He tells Teresa he's the powerhouse and she doesn't need anyone else. Minus 12. What happens when they haul his sorry butt off to jail again?

Oh, and Teresa says her brother is a little pansy for telling his wife about their conversation. How can you not love family?

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated the Summer Solstice by trying to open up their third eye chakra on last night's episode. Yeah, we don't know what that means either but we break it all down here in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa is excellent ... at placing blame. On taking responsibility, not so much.

First off she's still upset about her husband's black eye which of course is all Richie's fault. Minus 12. I'm sure poor Joe was just an innocent bystander in that scuffle.

Who is she kidding? But in usual Teresa fashion she can't let it go. She even tells Rich he could have poked his eye out. 

Real Housewives of NJ Pic

Joe's a big boy. I'm sure he can fight his own battles.

Of course it's hard to tell who has the brains in the Guidice family. We know Joe's had at least one DWI, then was caught driving with a suspended license, and finally took someone else's ID to try and get a new license. Minus 15.

Somehow the guy can always find a way to make a bad situation worse.

Teresa cries about what's being said in magazine articles about her and her family but even Jacqueline realizes that Teresa's making her own problems there so Plus 8. She agreed to do the interview and I'm sure she got paid handsomely for it. Now she's crying?

While everyone's down the shore their problems simmer under the surface. The kids look like the only ones having fun but they're also allowed to run wild.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way back from the shore this week to play a little poker and kick one little Jersey girl out of the her luxurious nest.

We break down all the drama in our patented THG +/- recap below!

Say bye bye. That was Jacqueline's response as Ashlee whined about packing to leave for Vegas. Plus 10 because it was so pathetic it was funny.

They sent her off with Albie to avoid a family meltdown at the airport hoping that she'd get on the plane without incident. It sounds good…in theory.

Jersey-ites

Minus 7 because Albie couldn't be bothered to park the car and walk his wayward cousin to the security checkpoint. Instead he drops her at the curb and there's no doubt she'll be home by dark.

Sure enough, Albie gets the call as he's driving home. Somehow Ashlee missed her flight. Minus 12. This girl is pathetic. I know it's because she doesn't want to go but it is sad when a 20-year-old can't check herself in at an airport. 

Chris is right, his step-daughter has no common sense. Her answer to stress is wishing she could buy herself a drink. Ashlee may be headed down a hard road all of her own making. 

This time Chris drives her to the airport to make sure it's done right. Plus 10. At home Jacqueline looks at pictures of her little girl and cries. I understand she's upset but it's not like some awful tragedy has befallen her daughter. Ashlee's a spoiled brat and when people stop handing her stuff maybe she'll grow up.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicked off season four last night, and very little looked or sounded different to veteran viewers of this franchise.

Main case in point: Melissa Gorga is still have problems with Teresa Giudice, especially after the latter claimed - during the premiere - that Gorga would leave Teresa's husband, Joe, if a "richer man" came along.

Melissa Gorga on The Real Housewives of New Jersey

"I'm trying everything I can to bite my tongue and give a pass here and there, but [her comments] hurt because that's family," Gorga told Us Weekly after the episode aired. "What she said [about Joe and I] made no sense. She had no rhyme or reason to say it. It's very obvious it's not the case and not true."

Why would Teresa make such statement? Her sibling had a theory, which he expressed on the opening installment.

"I believe that she's living a rough life with her husband, she's unhappy and misery loves company," Joe Gorga said.

by Free Britney at . Comments

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are back and the feuding continues, but this time they're leaving their McMansions and taking it down to the Jersey shore.

Let's assess all the cussing, name calling, and backstabbing in THG +/- review!

It looks like no one has talked much since Teresa Guidice's infamous cookbook came out. Between the digs about her being as Italian as the Olive Garden and rehashing her son's brilliant idea for a strip car wash, Caroline Manzo is still pretty ticked off. 

The Real Housewives of NJ

The two women end up meeting at a party at Jacqueline's and Caroline's doing an admirable job of freezing Teresa out but Teresa wants to talk. She says she wants to clear the air. Minus 10 because why wait for a family party to do that?

Why not just pick up the phone or go on over to Caroline's? I suppose the show wouldn't be fun if any of it made sense.

So Teresa apologizes…sort of.

"I think you misread it because if you really read it good you'd realize I didn't insult you." Really?  hat's your idea of an apology? Telling someone you didn't read it good? Minus 15 and I'm not even counting the grammar issues.

Teresa just keeps repeating that it was all a joke but Teresa's the only one who finds it funny.

And apparently this is not a good time to be messing with Caroline. She's going though menopause and isn't thrilled when her doctor tells her she's getting old. Plus 8 because even she admits she may go super bitch on someone who crosses her right now.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

There are evil people out there – and sometimes they come in the shape of your friends. - Teresa Giudice 

Run away, coward. Like you always do! - Melissa Gorga

When you associate with scum, you become scum. - Kathy Wakile

The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicks off season four on April 22 and, you won't believe this, but major drama is on the way, as evidenced by the aforementioned quotes, all of which are included in the following trailer. Intrigued? We thought you might be.

Prepare for scripted insanity and get an idea of what's on the way to Bravo now:

Melissa Gorga Biography

Melissa Gorga Photo Melissa Gorga was added to the third season cast of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She's the sister-in-law of Teresa Giudice, though... More »
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Melissa Gorga
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