Melissa Gorga The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Phew. We can all breathe a major sigh of relief:

Caroline Manzo will return next season to The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

With rumors swirling around this reality TV star - might she depart the series that made her famous? - Melissa Gorga spoke to In Touch Weekly and made it as clear as possible:

"Caroline is returning,” she told the tabloid. "Okay, there you go. Caroline is back and so is Kathy."

Hooray... we suppose.

Along with the Manzos, viewers can reportedly expect a villainous return to the program next season as well. Yes, Danielle Staub is on her way back.

Set your DVR accordingly. And consider yourself warned.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are blindsided when "A Bald Canary Sings," or are they? We'll recap who got set up and who set the trap in our THG +/- review.

Let's go back to the beginning.  Melissa's getting ready for yet another meeting with some producer about her singing career. I couldn't care less about her musical future but I'd definitely pair the leopard print shoes with that dress.  Plus 7.

Oh, and if there is a God I will never be subjected to seeing Joe Gorga in a g-string.  I refuse to let my imagination go there.  Minus 12. The mere thought is frightening enough.

The Manzos visit their boys in Hoboken for brunch and could Caroline make Lindsey feel any more uncomfortable?

Continue Reading...

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey the "Dinasty of Denial" only grows once everyone returns to Jersey.  We recap the cutest and scariest ways they all try to move forward in our THG +/- review.

It's back to Jersey and back to school for the Gorga and Guidice clans.  As Teresa has to yell and push to get everyone out of bed, Joe Gorga's making delicious looking pancakes for his brood. 

But despite the cute family scene the Gorga's still miss the bus for the first day of first grade.  Still, I've got to give them a Plus 8 for rolling with the punches.  Joe and Melissa both laughed it off, jumped in the car and drove off.  At least they got some fun family photos.

Back at the Guidice home, Joe's comparing cousin Kathy to a frog and making fun of Caroline's hair.  Teresa gushes about how her husband is "really, really, smart."  Wow.  That's just scary.  Minus 10.

Continue Reading...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey's California vacation finally came to an end and it was all "Hot Tub of Sour Grapes" as Caroline and Teresa went at it.

We break down all the face grabbing fun in THG's +/- recap ...

When Teresa left Kathy out of her toast last week, was it an unintentional slight or a purposeful shun. In the end it doesn't matter as Kathy turns the focus onto someone else.

Instead of dealing with her own issues, Kathy throws Caroline under the bus.  Minus 12.  Of course she swears she has the best of intentions but is Kathy really that naive?

With everyone listening in on Teresa and Kathy's conversation, am I the only one who hoped that Caroline really would walk over and dunk Teresa's head in the hot tub?  Plus 15.  That could have been awesome but unfortunately we never got to see it.

Continue Reading...

Too good to be true. That's what The Real Housewives of New Jersey's trip to "Whine Country" has been so far, but that's all about to change.

We'll break down all the sexcapades and snubs in our THG +/- recap!

The Russian River Valley looks like such tranquil place until the Jersey crowd pass through.  An immediate minus 12 to Teresa showing off her potty mouth.

And just how desperate is this woman to get her husband's attention?  She's asking him "Do you want to stick your finger in my ***?" and telling him she wants to do him in the vineyards all in front of her brother and sister-in-law.  What is she overcompensating for?

We find out all too soon but let's stick to our RV ride for a moment.

Plus 10 to Melissa for pointing out to Teresa that once she gives quotes about her life to magazines, she's given up the expectation of privacy.  If she didn't want people to ask her if she's going to jail, why talk about it and pose for a magazine cover?

Jacqueline says something about Teresa seeing the truth about herself.  Ha!  Jacqueline is so naive. Minus 11.  I don't see Jacqueline being able to keep their relationship casual in a way that she doesn't end up in tears yet again.

Then we're off to do some wine tasting. Why in Hell would Chris invite the Guidices and Gorgas along if he wanted to make a good impression on his new business associates?  Minus 15.  What was he thinking?

Continue Reading...

As The Real Housewives of New Jersey make their way through northern California, they warn that "If This RV Is a Rockn'" run in the other direction.

We break down all the laughs, tears, and unexpected nudity in THG's +/- recap:

Why can't Joe Gorga keep it in his pants. He insists on taking his equipment out and showing anyone within view? Why does Vito moon his girlfriend's brothers and pretend to have a tattoo? Why am I watching this show?

Some questions have no answers but the Housewives and family are still crammed into RVs and wreaking havoc on northern California.  Plus 10 for taking their special brand of lunacy on the road.

Continue Reading...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey are headed to Napa...the long way. "Pack Your Baggage" finds the ladies camping in heels. We recap all of the stupidity in our THG +/- review.

The show opens with the recap of Caroline commenting that Albie hasn't had a serious girlfriend in about two year but how he should really be concentrating on work. Minus 7. Albie's a grown man. Can't he have a career and a girlfriend?  You'd think mom would want him to be happy.

Well Momma Caroline might not be pleased when she hears that Albie's asked Lindsey to move in.  Actually Albie, Chris and Greg all ask her to move in and it really is kind of sweet.  Plus 10. Nice job boys.

But the trip to California is closing in almost as fast as hurricane Irene but that's not about to stop this crew. With the airports closed they ditch their kids on their parents and drive several hours to catch a flight out of Pittsburgh. Plus 8 for sheer determination.

Did we really have to witness both Joes peeing on the side of the road? Were the fast food restaurant bathrooms not good enough for them. Do their mommies need to remind them to go before they leave? Minus 12.

It takes a road trip and two flights to get this crew to San Francisco. What do they do when they're bored on a road trip? Watch videos of cows having sex of course. Minus 9.

Continue Reading...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey try to "Sit Down and Man Up" before the big trip to Napa. Will any of it help them avoid complete and utter disaster? Let's recap all of the planning meetings of a vacation destined for failure in our THG +/- review.

Teresa's brand just continues to grow. She's got the books. Now she's planning on a line of Teresa aprons, her own specialty Bellini and maybe even T's pasta. Where will it end?

This all may be Teresa's dream but Joe can't keep his nose out of the middle of it. Minus 10 when he can't let Teresa get a word in edgewise during her meeting at the winery. 

But a big plus 15 because someone finally told Teresa that ingrediences is not a word! How many seasons has that taken?

Did anyone else find it funny that Joe was telling Teresa that her driving sucks when only one of them has a valid driver's license and it's not him?

Continue Reading...

It's a big night for The Real Housewives of New Jersey and their families as they do "The Jersey Side Step" right out of the state. Can Melissa play to a crowd? Will the Manzo boys stay sober long enough to get some work done? We recap it all in this week's THG +/- review.

We start off small with Kathy heading over to an ice cream store in Paterson to ask them to taste her cookies but she complains when Rich takes over. Minus 8. If she really didn't want him to interfere she should have left him at home. 

And can someone please inform Richie that it's no longer 1992? He can turn his shirt collar down now. Minus 7.

The Beat Stock concert is fast approaching and we get glimpses of both Gia and Melissa practicing their routines. Before the show Teresa's kids are openly mocking aunt Melissa as Teresa and Joe laugh. Minus 10. If the Guidices were serious about mending the rift between their families they should have stopped the little brats immediately, not encouraged them.

Can someone please explain to me how people who are going bankrupt can afford a personal hair stylist and makeup artist?  I'm really confused.

Continue Reading...

The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated Antonia's birthday and if you were looking for an over the top affair for a six year old then you came to the right place. We recap all of the indulgence of the showy soiree in our THG +/- review.

It was nice that Melissa didn't over do it for her six year old's birthday party. She invited all of their family and friends plus all of the kids from Antonia's school. There was a bounce house, a giant crawl through caterpillar, tents with cotton candy and popcorn, a henna tattoo artist…did I miss anything.

Minus 10 because the most ridiculous thing was watching Melissa Gorga get her makeup professionally done for a kid's party while she swore to her husband that she was NOT high maintenance.  I'd like to know what's her definition of that term.
Across town Joe Guidice bails on the party and Milania calls her dad a big poop.  Plus 5.  I couldn't really disagree with her assessment.

But the party had its moments.  Plus 7 to Teresa who crawled into that caterpillar with the kids. I hope she grabbed some hand sanitizer when she finally found her way out.

Plus 5 to Joe Gorga who got in on the fun and let the kids watch him get his own tattoos.

Continue Reading...