by Hilton Hater at

There are evil people out there – and sometimes they come in the shape of your friends. - Teresa Giudice 

Run away, coward. Like you always do! - Melissa Gorga

When you associate with scum, you become scum. - Kathy Wakile

The Real Housewives of New Jersey kicks off season four on April 22 and, you won't believe this, but major drama is on the way, as evidenced by the aforementioned quotes, all of which are included in the following trailer. Intrigued? We thought you might be.

Prepare for scripted insanity and get an idea of what's on the way to Bravo now:

Tags: , , , , , ,

by Hilton Hater at

Dina Manzo may have recently come out and stood up for Teresa Giudice, but an insider tells Us Weekly fans of The Real Housewives of New Jersey should not expect the same thing to happen with Jacqueline Laurita.

Laurita "will never speak to Teresa again," this source claims.

  • Jacqueline Laurita Pic
  • Poor Teresa Giudice

Jacqueline, of course, did not show up for last Sunday's Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion special.

Caroline Manzo did... but she "hasn't spoken to Teresa in months," this mole adds, saying simply: "Everyone's fighting with Teresa."

What about the relationship between Melissa Gorga and her sister-in-law? They chat occasionally, but merely for "family stuff." Gorga chides Giudice for her attempts to tear their loved ones apart and says of the reunion:

"It was dramatic and painful to watch."

That second description is especially apt.

Tags: , , ,

by Hilton Hater at

Melissa Gorga strolled around Times Square this week for a few hours, although even the most loyal Real Housewives of New Jersey fans would not have recognized her.

That's because the reality star donned a fat suit for a segment that will air on Entertainment Tonight Thursday. The goal? To look like a 400-pound woman and prove that society treats the overweight different than the beautiful.

  • Melissa Gorga Fat Suit Experiment
  • Melissa Gorga Bikini Pic

The real Melissa Gorga wants to set a body standard impossible for the average woman to live up to. The fake Melissa Gorga was to look like she cares.

Of course, this could have been done in another way: by featuring actual overweight women. But that wouldn't have made Gorga look like an understanding, sympathetic human being, would it?

What do you think of this fat suit feature? It's...

 

Tags:

by Free Britney at

It's part two of The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show and the finger pointing continues, literally, as we rehash the season's ups and downs.

Let's break it all down in THG's +/- recap!

Andy said he's never seen a hornier guy than Joe Gorga. I've got to agree and if he just left it at that, we'd be good, but did he have to make it into a contest? Minus 10 for leading us down the which Joe is hornier road. I really didn't want to think about that.

Caroline Manzo Pic

Everyone's sex lives were paraded out for public scrutiny, not that most of them seemed to care. The high point was Albert's comment while he was sharing a suite with Teresa and Joe in Mexico. "I like to listen to you guys when you're going at it like cats." Plus 5 just for making me laugh. At least somebody got some entertainment out of it.

Plus 10 to Caroline. She said that her sex life with her husband was nobody else's business. It was one of the few sane answers of the night.

But it sounded like Caroline had bigger issues. She and sister Dina haven't spoken in months and Caroline blamed Teresa. Supposedly there were texts and e-mails to back this up. Of course since Dina's no longer on the show we didn't get to see any of that so this discussion got boring fast. Minus 7.

I'd happily hand out bonus points to anyone who could get Teresa to stop screeching. It never happened so Minus 10 for my growing headache.

Continue Reading...

Tags: , , , ,

by Free Britney at

It was bash Teresa Giudice night at The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion but she certainly invited the abuse. THG breaks it all down in our + or - review ...

Jacqueline Laurita bowed out of the event. Minus 5. I always thought the players were contractually obligated to show up for these things, even when they all hated one another and looked like fools at the end. But it looked like Bravo let her slide.

The turmoil had something to do with Teresa and an event that took place in season four which was currently being filmed. I suppose that's more reason to tune in next season.

Giudice on the Defensive

Caroline earned a Plus 12 when she admitted she was mean to Melissa and Kathy Waklie at the start of the season. She had judged them on what Teresa had told her before ever having met them. That was unfair but at least she owned up to it.

Teresa still swore what she wrote in her cookbook was nothing but a joke. She won't say which of her three sister in laws she was insulting and sees nothing wrong with throwing out barbs about Caroline's son. Minus 8. There was nothing funny in what she wrote and she can't see anyone's opinion but her own.

We had to sit through yet one more showing of the christening debacle. Minus 5. I hope to never have to watch that nonsense again. At least the housewives had the decency to lapse into stunned silence after it was shown.

Continue Reading...

Tags: , , , , ,

by Hilton Hater at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey painted an absurd family portrait on this week's season finale - but they aren't finished yet!

The women will get back together on Sunday night for what Bravo is hyping as the "most dramatic reunion" in show history. Wow. The writers must have been up late penning the script for this one!

Look for it to be highlighted by an exchange between Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga in which the former snaps at the latter: “You’re the devil. You’re wearing red.” Watch a sneak peek at the contrived madness below:

Continue Reading...

Tags: , ,

by Free Britney at

It's been a long season for our Real New Jersey Housewives and our season finale is finally here. THG breaks it all down in our + or - review ...

It's family photo time as the Gorgas and the Guidices decide to do a group family portrait with the Gorga's parents. It's a lovely idea and starts us off with a Plus 10

I know the man isn't well but does Poppa Gorga always have to come off as such an old grump. Minus 5. Not much seems to make this man smile.

Melissa Gorga Fashion

Joe tries to make his father feel better by offering him a drink and you've got to love little Gia. "No, no. Drinks don't make him feel better." Plus 7 to the little girl for speaking up.

The kids are adorable. Melissa and her family show up in a sea of leopard print coats. Joe Gorga says he'd love another little girl. He'd name her Jovina, after himself. (Insert eye roll here.) Plus 5 because despite the huge ego, it's almost kind of cute.

In other news, Ashley gets a reprieve. Chris relents and says he can't kick her out. His brother, Jamie comes to visit Ashley and says he loves her but she's lazy.

And I had to laugh at his advice about not telling guys about her Swallow tattoo. Plus 8. So funny. Plus I don't think Chris could have looked more uncomfortable if he tried.

Continue Reading...

Tags: , , , , ,

by Free Britney at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey continued their Punta Cana vacation this week and THG breaks down their ridiculous adventure in our +/- recap!

Teresa does yet another wardrobe change donning a gold cut out bathing suit resembling a superhero. This entire trip is Teresa's own private fashion show and that might be mildly entertaining if Teresa and Kathy could shut up about their fight. Minus 8 because I'm just as tired of hearing about it as Caroline.

Teresa Giudice Cleavage

Despite that the rest of the crew seem to be getting along quite well. Plus 7. The two Joes try to decide which of them is shorter. When their height appears about even they attempt to up the stakes by whipping it out and seeing who is really the bigger man. Everyone gushes that it's just like the good ole days. Plus 10 for the drunken group hug.

Why can't Joe Gorga keep his pants on?  First he's flashing the Manzo boys when they show up to go golfing. Then he's mooning them on the golf course. Plus 5 for the technology that allows the show to block out the graphic details. No one needs to see that.

Plus 10 to Albert. He's the only real golfer in the bunch and he'll take it as a personal favor if none of these idiots ever sets foot on a golf course again.

Teresa decides her next project will be an Italian / Latin fusion cookbook and she drags the ladies along to a local market. They're all shocked to find that they have to see actual animals at the market, not just pieces of meet under plastic wrap. Minus 3.

Of course the cow heads weren't nearly as disturbing as the fact that Teresa didn't know the difference between semolina and salmonella. Minus 8. I don't think I want Teresa Giudice cooking my food.

Continue Reading...

Tags: , , , , ,

by Hilton Hater at

Jacqueline Laurita may be exiting The Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she's intent on landing a few blows against a castmate before she departs.

In response to a rumor this week that Melissa Gorga formerly worked as a stripper, Laurita has taken to Twitter and implied that Gorga's sister-in-law, Teresa Giudice, is behind the chatter.

Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita

"Teresa told me that 'rumor' about Melissa when she first started the show," Laurita Tweeted today. "She wanted her out then. She knew. She plotted it. She played dumb on camera and even defended Melissa."

"Teresa is scum!"

Continue Reading...

Tags: , , ,

by Free Britney at

The Real Housewives of New Jersey made their way to the Dominican Republic's Punta Cana this week with one question on their minds. Can't we all just get along?

What are the odds of that? Let's find out in our +/- recap!

Have you ever noticed how incredibly blinged out Teresa's phone is? Plus 5 because I don't think you could fit one more sparkle, sequin, or rhinestone and still be able to speak.

Joe Giudice in Action

But the trip really starts off with the packing. Seriously, they're going away for four days and Teresa has nine bags. And I've never seen so much leopard print luggage in my life. Apparently it's a hot item in Jersey.

Plus 8 to Lauren who points out that if sharks are attracted to shiny objects, Teresa and Melissa are shark bait. That could put a quick end to this vacation.

There were so many things that made me ill in this episode it's hard to count them all ... but here goes.

Did Joe Guidice, Richie, Albie, and Chris really have to jump out of the vehicles to pee on the side of the road? As if TV doesn't make Jersey look trashy enough, these idiots have to prove it to the Dominican Republic. Minus 10. Apparently they needed their Mommies to ask them if they had to go before they left the airport.

Continue Reading...

Tags: , , ,