by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami take the stage for the final time this season in their "Reunion Part 2" and why won't someone use their black magic to make it all go away…or at least turn down the volume. We recap it all in our THG +/- review.

This was the reunion show that went from silly to sad to pathetic. Plus 20 because that's a lot of ground to cover in just an hour.

A Little Black Magic

It was almost comical how each housewife turned on one another…and not in a good way.  They all came across as a bunch of crazy, evil witches with few exceptions.

Minus 33 to Joanna Krupa for that smarmy smile she was wearing after her personal makeup artist tore Lisa Hochstein apart back stage. Really Joanna, we thought you were better than that. Apparently we were wrong.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami viewers experienced a true "Brazilian Bridezilla" as Adriana planned the perfect wedding, and then almost destroyed it.

We break it all down in THG's +/- recap!

Bridezilla Moment

So how does the perfect wedding day start? With the groom giving the bride B12 vitamin shots in her butt. Minus 15. Can you feel the romance?

Next comes a discussion about pre-wedding waxing. No not the cars… Adriana. She needs her eyebrows done and her private regions.

Frederick's looking for a "happy trail" but Adriana tells him she's got the "Amazon." He makes a face and says he wants the "Sahara" for their wedding night.

Minus 40. Seriously folks. Way too much information.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami had "Birkin Buddies" and a Brazilian bridezilla to contend with but what's a wedding without tears, Botox and IV cocktails?

We begrudgingly recap it all in our weekly THG +/- RHOM review ...

But first off let's check out what's on Joanna Krupa's to-do list…

Joanna Krupa's Calendar

Sex, sex, and more sex. Yeah, this girl's got only one thing on her mind. Unfortunately her fiance doesn't have that much of a one track mind. Minus 15.

In Romain's défense, he's already tried to explain to Joanna that he'd like more romance in their lives…so she went for dominatrix role play.

Minus 22. If that's her definition of romance these two really do need therapy.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

Finally, Joanna gets some lovin' and "Mama Elsa Comes Home" on The Real Housewives of Miami. We break down the dominatrix role play and the lamest bachelorette party ever in THG's +/- recap!

Is this what Joanna Krupa considers romance?  Minus 10.

Feeling the Romance

Although I'm sure it's fine…or more than fine with most men, I don't think this is quite what Romain had in mind when he hoped for a romantic night out.

Perhaps role play just isn't the thing for these two…or maybe they need to agree on the script ahead of time.

Either way, Romain looked absolutely adorable in those glasses so Plus 25 because I love a handsome man in glasses.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami gave us a "A Ple-Thora of Lies" the normal drama and just a touch of common sense. We break it all down in our THG +/- review.

The Most Patient Housewife

Lisa Hochstein has become my favorite housewife. She's funny, says what she thinks without being rude and doesn't pretend to be someone she's not.

And Plus 50 for bringing a bit of much needed common sense. That's darn hard to find among The Real Housewives of Miami ... or anywhere.

One again Lisa had to deal with another "fabulous visit" from her in-laws and was it just me or was Marina's voice the equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard? Minus 20.

If the trip to the Russian deli was awkward, dinner was somewhere between painful and cathartic.

I loved it when Marina complained that Lisa doesn't return her calls and Lisa responded by admitting she doesn't believe Marina likes her. Plus 15 for the honesty.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami are "A Cause for Concern" as the sequined Cuban mafia snubs a children's charity. We run down the bitching and bullying in THG's +/- review.

A Girl's Best Friend

It's the war of the divas in Miami as Lea Black prepares for her annual charity gala. Too bad the Cuban mafia has it out for her.

Marysol, Ana, Lauren and Adriana all decide to ditch the event to watch gay polo. Minus 18.

What are the odds they at least sent a check to support the charity? Probably not very good.

Lea's counting on Alexia and Herman coming to the event. They said they would. As Lea says, she loves Herman. He "always has a drink too many and spends a dollar too much."

Plus 25. That's a fundraisers dream guest.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

the Real Housewives of Miami performed some old "Black Magic" this week but it still wasn't enough to keep me from yawning through this episode.

We'll recap the marriage spin and boring sex in our THG +/- review.

The Happy Couple

A couple of weeks ago Romain bought Joanna a car. Now he's bought her a house. He obviously wants to get married…but not have sex?

Minus 17. Is anyone else confused? Romain and Joanna haven't had sex in six weeks and that's OK with him. Seriously? He even turns our down for a quickie in their new home.  

So what's the deal. Is he gay? Too tired from his mistress to want his fiancee?

Is he just not that into her? Or is he truly the romantic he claims to be and likes to take his time? Even if that's true, six weeks is a bit much, don't you think?

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami was "Booby-Trapped" as one peacemaker tried for Kumbaya but failed miserably.

We recap all the drama, including whose sauce needs some added spice, in THG's +/- review.

No Chicken Cutlets

We picked up right where we left off as Adriana DeMoura Sidi stormed out of Lea Black's home yelling, "I'm done with your Draconian antics."

Plus 13. The line was so good it would have been a shame to let it die with last week's episode.

Joanna Krupa and Romain headed to a tennis match and talk about a crowd. Was there anyone else even there with them. No wonder Romain was afraid the players would hear them talking.

Continue Reading...

by Nosy Neighbor at . Comments

The Real Housewives of Miami returned for Season 3 with "Til Lies Do Us Part" and we recap all of the cast shakeups and marriage fake outs in our THG +/- review.

Cleavage Alert

It was out with the old and in with the not so new as dentist to the stars Karent Sierra was no where to be found and Alexia Echevarria was added on as a full time cast member.

Plus 10 because although Karent and her long distance Latin lover were interesting, Alexia's life looks like a train wreck. Love it or hate it I'm sure it will never be dull.

And given Alexia's family life I was surprised she signed on this season. Her one son is still recovering from a traumatic brain injury while the other is going around beating up the homeless and video taping it for kicks and giggles.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

On August 12, The Real Housewives of Miami Season 3 will premiere on Bravo.

Viewers of the reality series can expect a stream of cat fights, wedding planning, drama.. and a bit less of Marysol Patton.

Along with her entertaining mother, the star confirmed this week to Radar Online that she's been demoted to a recurring member of the program's cast.

“I’m not in the main title shot with the photos with the girls, but I film just as much as I did when I was a regular housewife,” Patton says. “So, I guess it will come down to the editing.”

Continue Reading...