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Despite her ever-changing hair color, Mary-Kate Olsen (below, left) has kept one constant in her life - anorexia. Oops, we mean her boyfriend. That's Max Snow. He's a New York rocker type, people say. He may or may not be an actual musician (our research team is trying to confirm that), but he's a rock star in the eyes of Mary-Kate.

Max and his hobo lumberjack girlfriend, who have been an item since October, head out for coffee before checking out an L.A. art gallery on Thursday. Looks like they are having a fun time. Which is great, because Mary-Kate should enjoy herself now before Max Snow stars railing Paris Hilton, as is customary for her beaus.

Nate Lowman Picture

Meanwhile, sister Ashley Olsen, who's gone back to blonde herself, shows off her dark sense of style during a solo shopping outing in Beverly Hills on Thursday. Oh, those crazy Olsen Twins, always having to look the same. Which reminds us, there are probably some Full House re-runs on somewhere. That Kimmy girl is so hot!

Is it just us, or does Ashley look like an evil villain of some sort in that picture? Or a zombie? She and the vampire who possessed Britney Spears yesterday should hang out.

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Oh, those crazy Olsen Twins.

Tired of having her boyfriends pilfered by the Hilton Sisters, and weary from having shunned food since 1999, Mary-Kate Olsen has become deranged. How else can you explain this look (below, left)? She looks like a drunk, homeless lumberjack in no pants. That's hard to top. 

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Wow. David Katzenberg would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

Meanwhile, her sister Ashley Olsen (above, right) looks surprised to see the light of day as she steps out of a car. The glare shouldn't come as a big shock when you live in Southern California... unless, of course, you happen to be a crazed, baby-eating zombie.

Dressed in black from head-to-toe, Ashley luckily avoided transforming into a bat on Monday by escaping into a safe haven known as Barneys. Phew.

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We used to think the Olsen Twins would turn out alright. Okay, that's not true. But we had no idea they would devolve quite this hard. Once a cute pair of child stars, they've been stripped of all that is human, courtesy of a long and hard Hollywood upbringing - and probably a fair share of mind-altering drugs. Now the zombie cyborg freaks are out for blood.

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Seriously, don't they scare you? They look robotic, more machine than woman, more terrifying than attractive. Ashley Olsen has bigger problems than being on PETA's $h!t list, and Mary-Kate Olsen can forget about parking tickets or losing all her men to the Hilton sisters (speaking of which, wonder how good ol' David Katzenberg is doing these days). They've officially lost their minds.

If you love your children, hide them from the undead. Do so now. These chicks are dangerous. On the plus side, at least zombies get hungry, unlike Nicole Richie.

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Yes, apparently they need to buy some calendars with their dueling $150M fortunes. Halloween's over, losers! In this picture, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are dressing for success... either in the underworld, or some lame party somewhere.

Perhaps they're just trying to put a scare into Paris and Nicky Hilton, who seem intent on screwing their ex-boyfriends. Regardless, these would make some scary ass Halloween costumes. Hopefully they save them 'til next year. We are seriously creeped out. Not as much as when we see Nicole Richie, but close. Check it out:

Nate Lowman Picture

So who's who? If you must know, Mary-Kate Olsen is the Red Devil, while Ashley is Black Death. At least that's what we're calling those crazy, possibly satanic Olsen twins. They sure look ready to suck. Blood, that is.

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In case you didn't believe us earlier, Nicky Hilton really is dating the ex of Mary-Kate Olsen. Yes, we know that we first reported it was the ex-beau of Ashley Olsen. But here's the thing -- they look really similar, those crazy Olsen girls! Try to watch Full House and tell them apart! Seriously! They're like twins! In any case, our bad. Please direct your attention below.

Nate Lowman Picture

On the left, you'll see David Katzenberg, son of very rich Dreamworks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg, and Mary-Kate Olsen chilling. They look like a cute couple -- except for the whole Mary-Kate part. Good riddance.

On the right, you'll see David Katzenberg and Nicky Hilton getting out of a car and looking more than a little confused.

Why the puzzled expressions? Perhaps because Nicky just posted bail for David? What is with that orange jumpsuit? Is that what the kids think is trendy these days? In any case, he looks like a cool guy. Snoop Dogg would be proud... fo' shizzle, dizzle!

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Hotel heiress Nicky Hilton has apparently learned her lesson from big sister Paris about where to find love -- from those crazy Olsen twins!

That's right, Nicky and Paris Hilton cannot get enough ass. From men that used to get it from the Olsens. And who also just happen to be filthy rich.

Nate Lowman Picture

Paris, of course, famously had her way with Greek shipping heir Stavros "The Greek God of Poontang" Niarchos after he'd tanged Mary-Kate Olsen.

Now, Nicky Hilton is moving in on another man that Mary-Kate -- who's trailing by a significant margin in T.H. Gossip's exclusive Olsen twins poll -- used to bed but no longer deems worthy of her annoying time.

Nicky, according to the New York Post, has taken up with David Katzenberg, the ex of Ashley and the son of billionaire DreamWorks co-founder Jeffrey Katzenberg. She just dumped Entourage star Kevin Connolly last month.

But Katzenberg's kidding himself if he thinks he's seeing Nicky Hilton nude on the first or second date. Says a Post spy: "They have gone to dinner but have not hit the clubs together. They are trying to keep it quiet for a little bit and keep it on the sly."

One has to wonder how long Nicky can keep anything on the sly... especially when dating the ex of Ashley Olsen's sister, who's the son of a billionaire. Well, here's hoping that Nicky finds some happiness this time... and that there are no shortage of brutal, hair-pulling cat fights along the way.

It's hard to handicap a favorite in that scenario, but we're going with Paris and Nicky over Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen. Those cuties from Full House couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag.

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Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have gone to great lengths to differentiate themselves in the past few years. Changing their hair color, adopting different styles, eschewing food at different periods in their lives, etc.

Nate Lowman Picture

That being said, T.H. Gossip can only wonder why Ashley (right) would now change her hair, an revert back to an identical hair-and-clothing look as Mary-Kate? Somewhere, Stavros Niarchos is smiling. Why? No clue. The dude might be back together with Paris Hilton!

The only thing we could come up with, as far as the Olsens' style swap is concerned, is that maybe they're trying to bring together a divided America, which can't decide what it thinks of these two young ladies. Or that they are on massive amounts of drugs, Nicole Richie-style.

We celebrated their thumbs-ups and oh-so-cute expressions Full House, only to be repelled years later by their insistence upon wearing their entire closet when they appear in public.

So it goes for Mary-Kate Olsen and her twin sister, Ashley, who were first billed on Full House as the mysterious hybrid Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen, as the producers did not want viewers to know Michelle was played by twins.

But if their precious movies and television glory taught us anything, it's that interchangeable switcheroo twin fun can always reignite a love gone cold.

Oh, those crazy Olsen twins.

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We just came across this terrific image of Mary-Kate Olsen inspecting a ticket she apparently got the other day. She looks puzzled. And possibly possessed by evil spirits.

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

This may because she is still "in character," having recently picked out a spooky ghost costume for Halloween.

T.H. Gossip isn't entirely sure what the sickly Mary-Kate received this ticket for, but we have come up with some good theories:

  1. Not eating this millennium
  2. Having two first names
  3. Failing to remain cute since 1992
  4. Dating the same dude as Paris Hilton
  5. Violating myriad fashion laws -- plaid was never in, Ms. Style Queen
  6. Parking

Our money's on #3. On a side note, where is Ashley Olsen? Shouldn't she be in the news defending her sister, moving in on Stavros Niarchos, or acting generally weird?

What gives?

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Good grief. We thought our Spooky Halloween Costume gallery was terrifying when we first compiled it... but that was before a snubbed, sickly celeb decided to show T.H. Gossip up.

Yes, it's Mary-Kate Olsen. Or a really realistic-looking ghost. We aren't really sure which, but regardless, she/it has evidently not eaten since August. Those crazy Olsen twins have enough money to buy the entire food supply of some countries, but can't bring themselves to ingest the occasional meal.

Nate Lowman Picture

 

Yikes. Sad, sad, sad. What would Max Snow think? If this picture is an indication of what image is cool in show biz nowadays, a whole bunch of restaurant owners in California are about to go under. There is only so much Jennifer Love Hewitt can do.

You'd think she could fit anything into her oversized bag, and you'd think that she would be unable to lift said bag, but Mary-Kate still proved us wrong -- not only carrying the bag, but managing to juggle a few choice accessories while out in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. Later on she proceeded to juggle Stavros Niarchos' b- never mind.

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Are Nicole Richie and Mary-Kate Olsen living parallel, annoying, sucky lives? T.H. Gossip is starting to believe that's the case.

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

We've seen that Nicole has been trying to essentially copy Mary-Kate's ugly-ass style, as evidenced by this recent Nicole Richie picture. There's nothing like being both ugly and unoriginal. We've also observed the anorexic Simple Life star dating a new, previously unknown dude.

THG NOTE: He goes by Samuel Plouchart. Remember that name.

Well, Nicole is not the only one looking like $h!t and hanging out with a strange new guy. As you can see in this pic, Mary-Kate Olsen is joined at the hip with someone new: Max Snow.

He's 21 years old and is actually Uma Thurman's cousin. For a month, the bigger train wreck among the Olsen twins has been dating the England native, who lives in New York City and is pals with such rock royalty offspring as Jade Jagger and Theodora Richards. Sounds like fun.

"They are pretty serious," a pal of Snow says of the new couple, whose highbrow dates have so far included a Paris getaway, art exhibits and listening to music in his Upper West Side pad (where the former Full House star crashes when she's in town). That's Paris the city -- not Nicky Hilton's annoying sister.

"Mary-Kate loves that Max is so knowledgeable in so many different areas."

THG NOTE: He knows all about eating disorders and drugs.

These lovebirds look happy, and hopefully can keep this relationship above the fray. We're not sure what fray that might be, but man does it suck!

Somewhere, Stavros Niarchos is smiling. And saying to his pals "Yeah, I tapped that ass. And am the son of a Greek shipping tycoon. So there."