Madonna

Beyonce may sing about a baby boy.

But Madonna actually adopts one.

Even though her publicist has denied it, here's how we know the Material Girl really did adopt a child in Malawi: the baby's father has come forward to confirm the news.

Yahome Banda told the Associated Press that the Queen of Pop visited the Hope Orphan Care Center in Mchinji, where his son had been living. On Monday, the little boy - whose mother died after giving birth to him a month ago - was taken to the capital, Lilongwe, where Madonna was staying.

Admit it: this makes her a bit more Jesus-like, doesn't it?

Banda says he's been told that the child, who will join Lourdes, 9, and Rocco, 5, in the Ciccone-Ritchie brood, will come back to Malawi frequently.

"I am very, very happy because, as you can see, there is poverty in this village, and I know he will be very well looked after in America," the father said.

Will Brangelina respond by adopting another child of its own? Stay tuned and find out!

Madonna may have lost out to Jesus in a recent comparison, but she appears to have the number of Britney Spears - about 50 million of them.

According to the 2007 edition of the Guinness Book of Records Madonna is the highest paid female singer on the planet, taking that title away from Spears, who had held it since 2001 after earning around $38 million the year before.

In other recordable news ...

• Janet Jackson also replaced Spears in Web rankings for the world's most searched-for female and most-searched-for news item.
• Leading men in the category of most-searched-for is an actor you may have heard of: Brad Pitt.
• Elsewhere, Nicole Kidman set the record for the highest salary per minute for an actor (a reported $3.71 million for a four-minute commercial for Chanel No. 5)
• Oprah Winfrey is named the highest-paid person on TV ($225 million, according to the last Forbes power ranking).

Also, American Idol star Simon Cowell is the highest paid TV talent-show judge (about $34 million), while Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has the highest annual earnings for a children's author, with an estimated $64 million.

The Hollywood Gossip is proud to bring you Tale of the Tape, in which we break down prospective matchups within the celebrity world that you might never have considered. Because they are pointless, and above all, not real.

Last week, we broke down a three-way fight between Sean Penn, Sean Paul and Sean Preston Federline. Our current match-up features an ex-wife of one of the above. Can you guess who? This Tale of the Tape has actually been brewing for over 2,000 years. Or at least since we thought up this idea 10 minutes ago.

When a Pop Goddess takes on the central figure of Christianity, there's no telling what to expect. Yes, you read that correctly. Let's break down the battle between Madonna and Jesus:

1. NICKNAME(S)

Madonna: Queen of Pop
Jesus: Son of Man, King of Israel, the Messiah
Edge: Jesus

2. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

Madonna: Madonna is a Roman Catholic title for Mary, mother of Jesus
Jesus: Was conceived by Mary, possibly through the Holy Spirit
Edge: Even

3. CRUCIFIX SYMBOLISM

Madonna: Uses to create buzz, sell records
Jesus: Used to redeem sins of mortals; Later was used to spread, promote Christianity across Earth for centuries
Edge: Jesus

4. MUSICAL LEGACY

Madonna: The most successful female recording artist of all time, having sold over 200 million albums worldwide
Jesus: Has spawned a tremendous number of songs, gospel choirs, and rock bands, although most of them just aren't that good
Edge: Madonna

5. MEMORABLE QUOTES

Madonna: "Just like a prayer, your voice can take me there."
Jesus: "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
Edge: Jesus

6. MOST STUNNING MOMENT

Madonna: Gave Britney Spears an open-mouthed kiss at the VMAs
Jesus: Walked on water, healed a cripple, rose from the dead
Edge: Madonna

7. FAITH

Madonna: Raised Catholic in Italian-American household, now practices Kabbalah, an esoteric form of Jewish mysticism
Jesus: Come on
Edge: Jesus

8. LITERARY IMPACT

Madonna: Her 1992 book, Sex, created huge publicity at the time of its release, but was not all that big a success
Jesus: The Bible is the world's most popular book
Edge: Jesus

9. BLASPHEMY ACCUSATIONS

Madonna: Was accused of blasphemy against the Catholic Church by Pope John Paul II; "Like a Prayer" video, which featured a mixture of Catholic symbolism and eroticism, was banned by the Vatican
Jesus: Was condemned for blasphemy by high priests and eventually killed for claiming to be King of the Jews
Edge: Even

10. DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK

Madonna: Never far from the limelight, Madonna looks poised to continue rocking out and making a spectacle of herself well past age 50
Jesus: Scripture holds that at an undetermined point in the world's history, the resurrected Christ will fulfill the rest of the Messianic prophecy
Edge: Jesus

THE VERDICT: Sorry, Madonna. Impressive as your musical achievements are, you just can't hang with the big J.C., who takes this one easily, 7-3.

Mock crucifixions, that is. Even the Material Girl has standards.

After hanging herself by a cross during her "Confessions" Tour, Madonna finally spoke up this week in defense of the act. Several religious groups, including the Roman Catholic Church and the Russian Orthodox Church, have complained that the scene was insulting, while NBC television is trying to decide whether to include it in a special to air in November.

"There seems to be many misinterpretations about my appearance on the cross and I wanted to explain it myself once and for all.

"It is no different than a person wearing a cross or 'taking up the cross' as it says in the Bible. My performance is neither anti-Christian, sacrilegious or blasphemous. Rather, it is my plea to the audience to encourage mankind to help one another and to see the world as a unified whole."

With the exception of birds, that is. Those should all die.

Madonna added: "I believe in my heart that if Jesus were alive today he would be doing the same thing."

Or he's be cursing the boobs of Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simspon. One or the other, really.

The 48-year-old entertainer has made the crucifixion scene, in which she performs while suspended on a giant cross wearing a crown of thorns, the centerpiece of her show. Roman Catholic and Russian Orthodox church leaders aren't pleased.

In her statement, Madonna said the specific intent of the scene was "to bring attention to the millions of children in Africa who are dying every day (or) are living without care, without medicine and without hope. I am asking people to open their hearts and minds to get involved in whatever way they can."

A spokeswoman for NBC said earlier this week that the General Electric Co.-owned unit had not yet decided whether to include the scene in its November special.

Look, could it really be more offensive than this Kate Moss picture?

Bobs. Yes, folks, we're facing a handful of bobs these days - and, no, we're not just going through Office Space quotes here.

A trio of the world's most beautiful, talent and excruciatingly thin stars have taken on a new hairstyle. You may have look closely to see the rest of Kate Bosworth, but it's difficult to miss her hair in the following photo:

What do you guys think? Prefer the old, longer-haired Madonna? How does the photo above compare with other Jessica Simpson pictures? Leave a comment and let us know!

First, there was Beyonce abusing an alligator.

Then, Kevin Federline causing permanent damage to the ears of mammals everywhere.

Now, the Material Girl is receiving flak for her treatment of baby pheasants.

It appears as though Madonna doesn't feel the same way about these birds as she does about orphans in Africa. The singer is being criticized for importing the little pheasants to to her country estate in advance of the start of hunting season next month.

Evidently, customers will be charged up to 10,000 pounds a day to shoot the birds on Madonna and Guy Ritchie's estate in Wiltshire. We don't care too much about bird rights ... but these two don't have enough money already?

The director of animal rights group Animal Aid, Andrew Tyler, said:

"Shame on Madonna. This is not in harmony with nature. It is the production of factory birds to provide a live shooting gallery."

A spokesperson for Madonna and Guy confirmed "the estate got 1,000 birds from France, but we won't be doing it again."

If activists really want revenge, here's what they should do: gather all the clean toilets in the world and charge an exorbitant fee for people to sit on them.

Not only does Madonna appreciate a clean toilet seat, she also knows a worthy cause when she finds on.

The Material Girl recognizes that not everyone out there has access to materials. She's committed to helping orphans in Malawi, Africa, according to the new issue of Time magazine.

"Now that I have children and now that I have what I consider to be a better perspective on life, I have felt responsible for the children of the world," the singer, who has pledged to raise at least $3 million for Malawi programs, tells Time.

"I've been doing bits and bobs about it and I suppose I was looking for a big, big project I could sink my teeth into."

Bobs. That's one of those British words Madonna likes to use to sound foreign.

But this is all about how charitable Mads can be. The big project includes financing a $1 million documentary about the plight of the orphans, as well as a partnership with anti-poverty crusader Dr. Jeffrey Sachs on programs to improve the health, agriculture and economy of a Malawi village.

Sachs is the founder of the Millennium Villages project, which works to make villages self-sufficient through such simple tools as schools, seeds and clean drinking water. He has enlisted such celebrities as Bono and Angelina Jolie in his cause.

As part of her Raising Malawi project, which she cofounded with Kabbalah Center founder Michael Berg, Madonna has also met with Bill Clinton to see if they can work together to bring low-cost medicines to the area.

Her plan will kick into high gear next week, when ground will be broken on an orphan-care center in Malawi that will be able to feed and educate as many as 1,000 children a day.

Malawi, a southeast African nation of 12 million people, is plagued by AIDS and malaria and is home to about 1 million orphans. Madonna has yet to visit the country, but plans to go in October.

Hey, if you'd ever kissed Dennis Rodman, you'd have germ fears for the rest of your life, also.

So who can really blame Madonna? The Material Paranoid Girl requests a new toilet seat in her dressing room for every night of her Confessions world tour.

A source revealed the following to Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper:

"The seat has to be inspected by her people, then installed - with an unbroken seal - by plumbers before every gig."

In defense of everyone's favorite 47-year old singer, this isn't such an outrageous demand. There were rumors years ago that Mariah Carey required certain color M&Ms at every show. As Madonna's spokesperson, Liz Rosenburg, said:

"Who wouldn't want a new toilet seat wherever they go?"

No, seriously, she wants to know. Leave a comment about the issue please.

Other Madonna requests on tour include:

• Three candles to protect her from negative vibes and mean-spiritedness
• A relaxing foot spa complete with lavender and camomile body soak
• Kabbalah water
• A love seat

The Gossip is fine with all this. Madonna has earned it. A friendship with Lindsay Lohan, however? Now we have a problem.

Britney Spears‘ sexy schoolgirl antics in her debut single, "Baby One More Time," were groundbreaking. Some teenage males might even call them life-altering. But they weren't enough to top one of Britney's musical heroes, Madonna, on MTV UK's list of the 100 Videos That Broke the Rules.

To call Madonna's 1989 video for "Like a Prayer" controversial might be the biggest understatement in music history. The video, after all, featured the scantily-clad singer kissing a black Christ-like figure against a backdrop of burning crosses. Yeah. Top that, Brit.

Madonna drew the ire of critics back then, but won "Like a Prayer" the top spot on MTV UK's recent list.

Britney came in at #2, while Michael Jackson's legendary 14-minute zombie epic "Thriller" moonwalks claimed the third spot. At #4? Madonna again, for her "Justify My Love" video, which was banned by MTV in 1990. Next in line? You guessed it. Madonna, with "Vogue."

MTV compiled the list by polling 10,000 viewers and will play the entire 100 videos as part of its 25th Anniversary on August 1. Hopefully Madonna and Britney can put aside their recent differences and come together in celebration of this honor. Maybe they can kiss. You know, to make up and stuff.

The Material Girl? More like The Family Girl.

After first cutting out dirty segments from her show for papa's sake, Madonna has now accouned she'll cut her Confessions Tour a bit short. The reason?

The 47-year old's children start school shortly. Therefore, fans Down Under won't have a chance to see Madge belting out tunes while pinned to a cross any time soon. She's decided not to fly to Australia while Lourdes and Rocco prepare to classes.

Perhaps they can catch her on TV in a spot for H&M, however.

On her website, Madonna tried to comfort disappointed fans from Sydney:

"We looked into going from Japan to Australia and ending the show there but I have to get my kids back to school in England and they are, as you can understand, my most important priority."

The pop queen goes on to say: "I'm not retiring anytime soon and I am gonna get to Australia as soon as I can."

We believe her! We also aren't the only ones who still adore her music, as evidenced by a pollstar.com report that states the Confessions Tour is already the top-grossing tour of 2006. It's raked in over $54 million.

You go, Family Girl!