Three of the four Teen Mom stars moved in with their significant others on last night's episode. The lone exception, Farrah Abraham, lost hers years ago.
Of course, while Amber Portwood deals with that boob Gary Shirley, Farrah is focused instead on her new boobs and modeling career, not relationships.
Let's break down last night's episode, THG style!
On good terms this second, Amber and Gary move into a house. He's got a job doing "in-home health care." And apparently raiding people's kitchens. Plus 7.
No sooner does he proclaim "It's gonna be great," than a step in the house literally collapses under the weight of the moment. And Gary. Amazing. Plus 14.
His excuse: "pressed wood, ain't my fault." That's what they all say. Minus 2.
Before long, the squabbling begins, with Gary telling Amber, "Watch your mouth before I take Leah from ya." Producers? Fist-pumping. DCFS? Cringing. Wash.
Amber's brother, with whom they were supposed to meet up, warns, "It's gonna come back and bite you in the ass one day." More like every day. Minus 8.
Five words: Gary Shirley. Shirtless. Water park. Minus 12.