Lisa Vanderpump

No matter how you might feel about the Tea Party, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills showed us one you definitely didn't want an invite to last night.

THG breaks down all the polite insults and sarcastic jabs in our +/- recap below!

Before we get to the party, we pick up where we left off last week with Kyle meeting Kim's soon to be live in beau, Ken. Minus 5 for walking into the room like she's being led to the guillotine. Then she says hello to the dog before acknowledging Ken.

Even to a huge animal lover, that seemed a little odd.

Kyle asks about the ring on Ken's finger. Kim tells her that it's the promise ring she gave him and Kyle snarks that it's still a wedding band. Minus 8. If the couple is calling it a promise ring then it's a promise ring. 

I don't know if Ken is the right guy for Kim or not but Kyle's attitude won't help either way. She says she's taking a page from their mother's book and isn't going to acknowledge Ken because she doesn't like him. Minus 10. The only thing that's going to do is alienate her sister more and drive her closer into this guy's arms. Why can't Kyle see that?

Paul's birthday seems like a lovely dinner for him and Adrienne but Minus 3 for the tedious argument over what Adrienne should order. If that's the most interesting moment of this dinner couldn't we have skipped the whole thing.

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ventured into a day of beauty and a night filled with spirits on this week's episode. Which of these women is afraid of ghosts?

We'll break it all down for you in THG's +/- review!

Paul offers all the ladies a special night of beauty at his plastic surgery clinic. Plus 10 for the generous offer but not everyone partakes of his skills. Lisa simply shows up to watch and gossip. Kim Richards actually attends.

Does anyone else notice this is one of the few events Kim has made the time for these days. Of course she arrives 20 minutes late. Hey, that's really pretty good for Kim so Plus 5. 

One of the scarier moments of the night is watching Kim drive on her way there. Talk about a distracted driver. She's lucky to make it there alive. But Dr. Paul has some ideas about that.

Before Paul adds some botox to Kim's face he gets a run down on her current medications. it's quite the laundry list: Trazadone, Topomax, and Lexipo.

That sounds like quite the cocktail. Paul talks to Kim about having her medications reevaluated and the importance of never mixing them with alcohol.

He also points out the drugged state she's walking around in, something Kim's not completely aware of herself. Plus 20 for being forthright and responsible as both a friend and a doctor. Hopefully Kim will take his advice.

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Lisa Vanderpump is the latest member of the Real Housewives franchise to try her voice at a singing career. And we use the term singing as loosely as Lindsay Lohan uses her vagina.

The reality star appeared on Ryan Seacrest's radio program this morning, rambled on for five minutes about her role on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and then launched into a version of "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" that makes Kim Zolciak's Tardy for the Party sound like a Grammy nominee.

We've posted the video below and it really only leaves one question: Should we blame Seacrest more for actually airing this nonsense, or for unleashing Kim Kardashian and kompany on E! viewers?

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It's all about the parties on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this week as the phrase "keeping up with the Joneses" is taken to a whole new level.

We break it all down in our +/- review as always:

But before we hit the Beverly Hills party circuit we head into surgery. You have to look your best in Beverly Hills. Is that why Kyle's mother-in-law Estella sees Paul for a facelift? 

I have to admit I was almost as freaked out as Kyle. I can understand wanting to get a facelift but who wants to show off their face of the mummy after look to friends and family, nevermind on camera. Minus 7.  Yikes! That really looks painful.

Paul's silly phone calls to Mark Wahlberg didn't do much to boost my confidence in his surgical abilities. Minus 5. I know that surgeons probably do that sort of thing during long surgeries but honestly, I don't want to know.

From surgery we go to Taylor's awkward dinner party. I'm not sure which is worse. I thought they weren't going to show Russell this season. I guess I was wrong and it shocked me to see him sitting at the dinner table. Minus 20 for the change of plan.

The sharp contrast between Kyle and Mauricio's affectionate relationship and Taylor and Russell's tension is difficult to watch, especially when you know what's to come.

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are back for a decadent day at the spa and THG is here, as always, to break down all the drama for you, +/- style!

But before we get massaged, tanned, and exfoliated, let's hit the kitchen with Adrienne and Lisa. Why? Heck if I know.

For some unknown reason Lisa is teaching Adrienne how to make a chicken dinner. But I ask again, why does Adrienne need to learn how to do this? She has a personal chef on site and she obviously hates to cook. Minus 5 because seriously, what is the point? She can't even find the salt and pepper in her own kitchen.

Then things get amusing. When Lisa tells her to wash the chicken she uses dish soap to scrub it down. Plus 11 because I can't stop laughing. It's just so stupid.

Add an additional Plus 7 for the looks poor Bernie is shooting them as these two defile his kitchen.

From there we move on to Lisa meeting up with Malcom at his 60,000 square foot palatial estate. Apparently we'll be seeing one heck of an engagement party here for Pandora next week. Any idea who will be using the commune bed? Minus 6 because I'm pretty sure I don't want to know how many people have been in that bed, either separately or all at one time.

On to the spa day. Is it just me or does Dana Wilkey seem like more of a ditz every time we see her? She simply parrots whatever anyone around her says. Her need to be accepted borders on scary.

Adrienne invites everyone to a spa day. Who knew that the spa is in Adrienne's home? Now I'm truly jealous. Plus 20. You'd have to drag me out of my own personal spa. I'll give Adrienne credit, she certainly knows how to spend her money.

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Sometimes, game night just won't end. Well, it has to eventually, but it sure feels like it goes on forever on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Either way, THG breaks it all down in our weekly +/- review!

Can someone please get Kyle to stop bringing up the four year old peeing at the party. Yes, Brandi could have handled it better but get over it. The kid's four years old. Things happen. Minus 5 for not being able to let it go.

Brandi doesn't take the insult to her parenting skills well, and to be honest, who would? But as the fight escalates so does Brandi's cursing and then she accuses Kim of being on crystal meth. Minus 10 for taking it there.

Although it's obvious Kim has issues and they could be narcotics related, Brandi has no proof other than Kim's odd behavior and several trips to the bathroom. That's a serious accusation against a woman she just met.

Plus 12 to skinny little Taylor who jumps into the fray to stop the brawl. That took some guts. But Minus 10 to Dana who lost control of her own party and didn't seem to care. In fact she seemed to egg it on.

What is up with Dana anyway? Is the woman really that insecure. She'd obviously do or say anything to try and fit in with this crowd. That may make her nuttiest of all.

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The games began, and quickly got nasty, as the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills assembled for an uber-competitive Game Night at Dana Wilkey's this week.

THG breaks it down, +/- recap style!

Alliances are drawn and things spiral out of control at Dana's Game Night party and it's a disaster almost from the beginning. First off, it's boring as all get out because no one will talk to one another. Kyle and Brandi are the first guests to arrive.

Kyle is still fixated on Brandi's use of the c-word last week at the barbecue and the fact that her four year old peed on the grass. Minus 5 Kyle. Get over it. It's not like the woman ran over your dog. You can make polite small talk with her at a party.

Kim stumbles in with a tear stained face. Kyle drags her off to the bathroom to clean her up and Kim is insulting the cleanliness of the host's bathroom rather loudly. Minus 7 for not being able to control herself.

Then Brandi's one ally, Adrienne, bails at the last minute leaving Brandi to deal with the mean girls all on her own. Brandi Glanville is far from perfect but at least she's willing to admit that the joke she made about Dana's husband last week was inappropriate.

Plus 8 for owning up to it. If only she would have apologized to Dana it may have won her some points with the host.

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We meet another real housewife this week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and needless to say, Dana Wilkey makes a strong impression.

THG breaks down all the action in its +/- recap!

Dana hit the scene showing off all of her assets. Those include serious cleavage, a tiara, and $25,000 sunglasses. The funny part? She can't stop telling people she spent $25,000 on her sunglasses. What is she compensating for?

Does Dana Wilkey want to prove to everyone that she has money? Doesn't she realize that for as many people as she is impressing, just as many are looking down their noses for talking about money or simply laughing at her for being ridiculous enough to spend that kind of money on a pair of sunglasses. Minus 10.

It gets even more fun when Dana tells Kyle and Taylor all about her super baby. Apparently her 18-month-old reads, counts, models, and speaks Thai. Plus 8 to Kyle for both playing along and poking fun at Dana's inane assertions. I get the feeling that Dana is the insecure type.

In other housewife news, Lisa gets a gig with CNN as a commentator on the Royal Wedding. Plus 5 for Taylor who lists Lisa's qualifications for the job: She's married and British. Yup. That's about it.  It's nice to see Taylor finding her sense of humor for a change. There's only so much crying I can take.

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The mean girls came out to play on the The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Monday night. THG examines all the cattiness in our weekly +/- recap!

We start off with Adrienne and Paul still waiting on Kim. Minus 5. The plane is on the runway and everyone is waiting but still no Kim. When she finally arrives she looks exactly how Paul suspected... intoxicated. Of course no one can say for sure but if this is Kim's behavior sober, that's just pretty darn scary.

Kim took an awfully long time to take her sunglasses off. Was it simply that she wasn't happy with her makeup? As her story goes, her power went out and she had to go to a neighbor's house to apply it before she could leave for the airport.

When they finally arrives at the game Kim just won't shut up. Plus 8 for the look on Adrienne's face as Taylor blathers on and for Paul who just tells her to be quiet and watch the game. Somehow Kim doesn't strike me as a big sports fan.

Then we cut to Taylor who has run to Kyle to complain about an article in the paper about her and Russell's disintegrating marriage. Kyle asks where they could have gotten such information. Umm.  Ladies, look up. Do you see those cameras following you around. Your personal lives are now public fodder and in case you've forgotten, you signed up for this. Minus 15 for being oblivious to the obvious.

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This week, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills finished up their trip to Beaver Creek and we take a look at who reached new high or low points in our +/- recap!

Taylor was on a downward spiral. This girl was just a mess. Her moods have shifted from miserable to distraught to kind of scary. But the ladies earned a Plus 7 for trying to help, even though they weren't all that successful at it.

Kim took on the mothering role when she woke up to find a half naked, crying Taylor in her bed. I doubt she was expecting that. Having been divorced, Kim tries her best to console Taylor on her troubled marriage. Plus 8 for making the effort to point out that everyone has problems and Taylor's not as alone as she feels.

Camille, however seemed content to hide in her room and let the drama play out without her. Honestly, I couldn't say I blamed her. I might hide too but she was the host. Minus 5 because she really should have checked on her guest.

Taylor's breakdown continued as she ended up crying in a closet and then became completely paranoid over a missing makeup bag. Heaven forbid dinner with the ladies not be in full makeup.

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