by Mischalova at . Comments

It's not very clear at this point. But here's what we do know about two of The Gossip's favorites:

Following a party thrown by Us Weekly last night, Paris Hilton truly threw it down. She cleaned out the rolodex with invites, as those in attendance included: Pamela Anderson, Courtney Love, Jeremy Piven and Dave Navarro.

LiLo Rollin'

But the arrival of the night belonged to Lindsay Lohan.

Perez Hilton is reporting the two got into quite a yelling match in front of guests. Many overheard Paris telling Lindsay that she had never hit on Lindsay's boyfriend, Harry Morton. Reports also state that Kevin Connelly, the Entourage star diddling Nicky Hilton, slugged Brandon Davis in the face - twice!

TMZ contacted Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, about the report. His response?

"I was at the party, I remember Lindsay arriving and them having a lovely conversation by the pool. They seemed to have gotten along just fine and only polite words were exchanged."

Uh-oh. If Paris and Lindsay make up, what will be our go-to celebrity feud? Brangelina vs. Abject Poverty? Mel Gibson vs. Non-Catholics? Sean Preston vs. The Fashion Police?

by Mischalova at . Comments

We all know there's bad blood between Lindsay Lohan and her father. But now it appears as though the red-headed harlot and her fairly insane mom are also not getting along.

When Lindsay arrived at a Chinese restaurant on Manhattan's Upper East Side last week for a birthday celebration for Dina, she was dismayed to find that Mrs. Lohan and her friends were already into their second bottle of Cristal. The nerve! Right after the first course arrived, Lindsay and her mom started going at it.

Lindsay Lohan Doing Modeling

Others in the restaurant at the time included Ryan Cabrera, Brandy and Serena Williams. They sat in stunned silence as the Lohans hurled curse words at one another. This was a change from the typical hurling Lindsay does in the bathroom after every meal.

Finally, Lindsay stormed out, telling her mom to "go to hell." Dina cried uncontrollaly, typed on her BlackBerry for 45 minutes and then started throwing fortune cookies at the waiters - and burst into tears again when her birthday cake came out.

Seriously. The reaction made Sutton Pierce Federline seem mature.

But, wait, there was more good news for Lindsay haters later in the week ...

Continue Reading...

by Mischalova at . Comments

On The View, Rosie O'Donnell may have to temper her opinions sometimes.

Fortunately for all Lindsay Lohan haters, however, this isn't the case when Rosie talks to OK magazine. Here's what she had to say about the promiscuous lush:

Lohan is All Smiles

"[Lindsay's behavior on her latest film] was unacceptable. It's not like she was doing Dumb & Dumber 2. It's a Jane Fonda movie! Be early! I saw [Lohan] stumbling around a club drunk [once] and her mother was going 'She's all right!' I can say this from experience: It's hard to be famous, and she's not doing it well at this point.

But she'll get into rehab, take care of the eating disorder, and be all better in two years and have a huge comeback."

Wait, back up: Lindsay Lohan drinks?!? Who else dares to do this, Kristen Cavallari?

by Mischalova at . Comments

** Suppressing laughter and dances of jubilee throughout post **

This isn't funny, people. Lindsay Lohan became a victim of major theft grand theft victim at Heathrow Airport in London on Thursday.

Hobo Style

Scotland Yard told TMZ that a "theft of a bag at Heathrow Airport was reported to police by a 20-year-old woman." Sources say the contents of the missing bag were over $1 million - or just a few bucks more than the number of guys bedded by the victim. Last month.

Police continued that "it is alleged that as the woman exited the Terminal One building, she noticed that an orange Hermès handbag was missing from her suitcase trolley." Reportedly, it contained "a quantity of jewelry."

Perhaps an engagement ring from Harry Morton (pictured above with his trashy girlfriend) was included?

Lindsay's rep, Leslie Sloane, confirmed that the theft occurred and her client is extremely slutty upset about the loss of personal belongings.

"She is begging for the return of the items," Sloane said. "She doesn't care how she gets them back, she just wants her stuff back."

So, robber, if you're reading this: you made Firecrotch cry. You're our hero.

** Now we're the ones crying: within minutes of this post, reports surfaced that the bag was recovered ** 

by Mischalova at . Comments

Does Harry Morton read The Hollywood Gossip?

Harry Morton Shopping

It doesn't seem that way. If the Pink Taco mogul (the restaurant, people) were an avid fan, he'd have come across the Lindsay Lohan quote where she stated how she wants to be free to give her body to anyone, regardless of having a boyfriend or not.

Oh. And Lohan is Morton's girlfriend.

Perhaps Harry thinks he can tame the tramp, however, because sources claim he was spotted purchasing an engagement ring at Cartier in Beverly Hills.

It must be a challenging choosing such a gift for a nymphomaniac. We assume the ring has to be really loose.

A representative from Morton's company didn't deny the endeavor:

"I can confirm that Harry was shopping in Cartier. .. but what he purchased I cannot confirm. If it was in fact a gift then that's between him and whomever the gift is for and whomever the gift is for."

Hey, Harry, if the gift is for Lohan, know what else will be between you and her? About a hundred guys. Per week.

by Mischalova at . Comments

If Lindsay Lohan truly wants to inspire people, William H. Macy has some advice for her: stop showing up late to the set, you skanky harlot!

Okay, we may have added the last part. But the beloved character actor still had choice words for anyone that isn't punctual during filming.

  • Like OMG Wut
  • William H. Macy Photo

"It's very very disrespectful ... "There is not an apology big enough in the world to have to make 150 scramble."

Oh, don't worry, William, Lohan didn't really try to apologize for her actions on the set of Georgia Rule.

Macy - who worked with Lohan on the upcoming film "Bobby," and said that she was "pretty late" getting to the set - did acknowledge that she isn't alone in this disrespectful act. He stated that anyone arriving late "should have their asses kicked."

As we all know, Lohan is used to other things being done to her ass.

Finally, Macy expressed consternation and fear about Lohan and other young cohorts who get rich and famous in their teens:

"I worry about these young kids â€" 15, 18, 20 years old â€" who in the span of one year become millionaires and powerhouses. It's too much power for a kid that age to handle."

In response, Britney Spears - pregnant, holding her poorly dressed son and sitting through her husband's inane excuse for a rap performance - said she can handle all the money and power just fine, thank you!

by Mischalova at . Comments

The Gossip isn't here to judge. If you wish to refrain from eating for weeks on end, star in your own version of Sex and the City, or sweat alongside a cycling champion, that's your business.

At least the following celebrities seem to understand their places in society. They're role models, whether they wish to be or not. Grow inspired by their hopeful messages ...

Just look at Kate Bosworth (can you see her?). The star of Superman Returns hasn't returned for seconds at a buffet in years. But she wants everyone to know that it's okay to be really, really thin.

Hot Kate Bosworth Pic

Then, there's Lindsay Lohan. Ms. Firecrotch wants to make it known it's her duty to roll over for every guy she meets. Or sees from across the room. Or looks up in the Yellow Pages.

Lindsay Lohan Bikini Photo

Of course, Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong don't have this problem. They don't need to search for love or affection. They've found both, with one another.

  • Lance Armstrong Running
  • Sweaty and Sexy

by Mischalova at . Comments

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your Arizona Cardinals as they make their way into Firecrotch Stadium!

Lindsay Lohan on a Red Carpet

Such an annoucement may not be so far-fetched, now that the family of Lindsay Lohan's summer boy toy, billionaire Harry Morton, has put in a bid for the naming rights for the home of the NFL's Cardinals.

The Mortons have offered $5 million for the new stadium's naming rights, the largest amount ever presented in Arizona history. That's why Airhead Arena or Promiscuous Park aren't out of the question.

Morton is the President and CEO of the Pink Taco restaurant chain. His family recently sold its stake in Morton's Steakhouse, the Hard Rock Cafe, and the Hotel & Casino for approximately $1.2 billion. That's almost as many dollars as guys Lindsay has spread her legs for.

While we kid about such names as the Neighborhood Bicycle Bowl, the family is more likely to go with a traditional moniker, such as Pink Taco Stadium. So, in other words, it'll be based on Lohan no matter what.

In other football-related news, Morton is friends with Cardinals' quarterback Matt Leinart - who's been romantically linked to Lindsay's arch enemy Paris Hilton.

So there's another idea for the stadium's name: Catfight Coliseum. Leave us a comment now with your suggestions!

by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, don't blame Lindsay Lohan for how many guys she's been a mean naughty girl to - it's television's fault. The promiscuous actress claims her attitude to men has been shaped by watching Sex and the City.

Perish this gross thought, readers: The show started when Lindsay was 12. Even then, she was quite the fan.

Bleach Blonde Tramp

"Sex and the City changed everything for me, because those girls would just sleep with so many people."

Firecrotch has a point. After all, Osama bin Laden blames the violence on 24 for his tendencies and beliefs.

Lohan also admits she has a double standard when she's in a relationship:

"If I'm going to give my body to someone, I'd rather them not be with other people. But I want to be able to if I like someone else."

Oh, Harry Morton, how lucky you are! In wholly unrelated news, we hope you've been tested for every STD in the planet recently.

Meanwhile, is there a chance Paris Hilton was referring to her rival when she uttered the following:

"It's sexier when a girl is flirty but she doesn't do anything .. Girls need to calm down and realize that sex isn't everything. It's frightening. Women are getting as bad as boys now for sleeping around."

Amen, Paris. Maybe you don't suck after all. No, seriously, we know you don't.

by Mischalova at . Comments

For Michael Lohan, the season premiere of Prison Break was nothing but a tease. Nevertheless, Lindsay's father recently penned a letter (and included a cartoon drawing) from behind bars.

Michael Lohan in Jail

Just because the man is serving serving up to four years for drunken driving, contempt of court and beating his brother-in-law bloody with a shoe (take that, Mel Gibson!), it doesn't mean he can't find time to share thoughts on his relationship with Lindsay and the villains who are allegedly driving them apart.

In the strange cartoon, Michael includes money-hungry lawyers with devil's horns, a prison guard, a paparazzo and an woman who might be Lindsay's mom, Dina, or her publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik. They're all tearing the daughter away from her dear old dad. Where are the violins playing, though?

On the back of the cartoon, the artist has scribbled: "The Spiritual Realities and Physical Elements of the truth behind this whole situation." We'd accuse Paris Hilton of pulling a stunt such as this - but no way she knows what those words mean.

In his accompanying handwritten letter, Lohan discusses his "stupid decisions," his new spirituality, an inspirational book he's written and his intention to help troubled teens through a ministry when he gets out of prison. Other quotes include:

- "Lindsay is a talented, loving, blessed and free-spirited person. I believe nothing I read about her unless I hear it from Lindsay herself. And she's always been honest with me."

- "If Mr. Robinson wrote a letter to her, that is his right. He is a respectable man and I'm sure he felt it as his obligation … But I do know how things get twisted and I'm sure there is an honest explanation."

-"While I don't think [Kate Moss] is the best mentor based on reports, these reports could be twisted. To which, I hope and pray (as it appears) Kate has turned her life around as well."

- Harry Morton "appears private, respectable, and my friends in Vegas only have good things to say about him and his family."

- Oil heir Brandon Davis, who repeatedly mocked Lindsay as "firecrotch": "All I can say is that I am happy that God gave me a new way of looking at, and pitying, people like Brandon. I pray for his soul!"

The Gossip prays for more material such as this. It's a gold mine.

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
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