by Free Britney at . Comments

Thanks, as always, to People magazine for this great collection of celebrity quotes from the past week.

"Of course, there are things anybody wishes they didn't have or wishes [there] were more of, but why even bring that up? I think it comes off as bratty."
- Eva Mendes, on being satisfied with her nice naked physique, to Jane

Lindsay Lohan Maxim Cover

"I am innocent."
- Lindsay Lohan

"Oh Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay! Ohhhhh, Lindsay! And that's my final word on the subject."
- Late-night talk-show host Craig Ferguson (who probably didn't mean that quote in the same way Calum Best once did)

"Don't put it on YouTube."
- Beyoncé, after slipping onstage during a concert performance. Despite her plea, the accident was posted on the Web site multiple times hours later

"F.A.T. means fabulous and thick, full and tasty, fluffy and tender."
- Mo'Nique

"I've actually gained 10 pounds back, which I think I needed. I kind of looked sick, I got down to 180. Now at 190, my clothes fit again. My underwear was big on me, okay?"
- Ian Ziering, on gaining back weight after Dancing with the Stars

"I bring the fear. Does big oil sleep around? Got bad credit? I'll find the dirt. And I will make big oil regret the day it ever uttered the words 'price gouging!'"
- Ben Affleck, in the environmental video Clean My Ride, Flex My Fuel

"I feel like I'm being punk'd."
- Affleck BFF Matt Damon, spoofing himself in an installment of the same campaign

by Mischalova at . Comments

Hey, did you hear that Lindsay Lohan was in a drunk driving accident this weekend?

We mean that literally: Did you actually hear it? As in, the 911 tape released by authorities yesterday.

Wreckaliciousness

The call, released by the Santa Monica City Attorney's office, was presumed to be made by Michelle Peck, the mother of one of Lohan's assistants, who had picked up her daughter from a gathering that Lohan also attended.

The caller seemed frantic and claimed she was being chased by an SUV. Below is a portion of the transcript. (Listen to the call here, at a different celebrity gossip blog, TMZ.)

911: Santa Monica Police, what's the emergency?
Caller: Yes sir, I'm on Montana. Is he behind you? Is he behind you?

911: Where are you?
Caller: Right now we're on 7th and Wilshire. We were just about to park our car, we were turning home, and out of nowhere, a huge white GMC came up and... We're at 4th and Wilshire, we're coming down right now, we're being followed by a white GMC, the gentleman jumped out of the car, and OH MY GOD SIR, THEY'RE FOLLOWING US. WE NEED HELP.

Lindsay Lohan has broken more laws than Mindy McCready.

911: Where are you?
Caller: Right now we're on Arizona... Oh my God, are they following us? OK, right now we're on Santa Monica... We're driving to the police station right now... We're at 4th and Broadway. We were just coming home... and all of a sudden he came down a side street... We're driving to the police station... sir, please? The gentleman came out of his car. [inaudible] AAAAHHH, Oh my God! What is he doing? Oh my God, oh my God... Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! (Screaming...police sirens in background).

As People magazine reports in its latest cover story, the 911 call came in after an argument between Lohan and her assistant Tarin Graham, Peck's daughter. Graham then apparently called her mother to pick her up, and Lohan gave chase.

Because no way was anyone leaving her sight! She was all over her assistance like Blake Lewis was all over that random woman at Les Deux.

by Mischalova at . Comments

This is just sad.

Only 13, Ali Lohan is being forced to enter the celebrity news headlines because her slutty, alcoholic sister can't keep her pants on or her foot off the pedal.

The sister of Lindsay and daughter of Dina and Michael recently wrote in to VH1 in defense of her mother.

Here's what Ali Lohan said:

My mom is a single mom of four children she has always been there for us, she was my mother and father and still is. My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us, My mom was always there souporting us.

i think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident, is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior. And would always blame my mother.

** The Hollywood Gossip note: It appears as though Ali uses the same spell check as Courtney Love. But we digress...

He just wants everybody in the world knowing that he was a great dad. He wasnt that is all a lie. I just want my sister [Lindsay Lohan] to stick throught this okay, and my mother and brothers and i are there for my sister 100% and have always been.

I've wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations to me, they have made it through so much in there lives.

Thankyou for your time god bless, Ali

First, Jamie-Lynn Spears. Now, Ali Lohan.

It's one thing Britney, Lindsay, Nicole Richie, if you wish to mess with your own life. But please don't make it seem like your actions are acceptable, or "normal." Young lives are at stake.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Come on, celebrity news reporters!

Don't you know that your job is causing Lindsay Lohan to drink, snort cocaine and get behind the wheel?!?

Out to Sea

You should be more responsible.

Dina Lohan basically said as much when she pointed to the paparazzi as playing a role in the latest DUI arrest for her screwed up daughter.

"We are doing everything in our power in support of Lindsay and I won't give up â€" this is my daughter and we love her," People magazine reported Dina as saying.

The actress was arrested early Tuesday morning on suspicion of drunken driving â€" her second drinking-related arrest in three months. She was booked for DUI, possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended license, charges that make Paris Hilton look as innocent as Big Bird.

"I am sick over this," Dina said. "My children, my family, we are like prisoners in our own home because paparazzi [are stalking us] outside [our] home. Lindsay is in a safe place, and we are trying to strategically work out our next step."

The current step, it seems, is to blame anyone but yourself. Celebs such as Lindsay, Tara Reid, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt cannot pose for the cameras one second - at a popular club such as Hyde - and then accuse these same photographers of stalking them the next second.

Not to mention the fact that Dina Lohan complained about tabloids... to a tabloid!

Lohan's lawyer has said that the actress relapsed and is "presently receiving medical care." The actress completed a 45-day stint at Promises rehab facility less than two weeks ago.

It did about as much for her as it did for Britney Spears.

Meanwhile, Dina, it wasn't the paparazzi that took any Lindsay Lohan nude photos. Your daughter did that all by herself and may soon pay the consequences.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Chock full of credibility, Linday Lohan is claiming she did not drunkenly chase her assistant before being arrested for drunk driving early yesterday morning... and that the cocaine found IN HER POCKET belonged to someone else.

First lies first: Sources connected to the actress tell TMZ both Lindsay, who was driving a Denali, and the Escalade in front of her, driven by the mother of Lindsay's former assistant, were both being chased in a "unsafe and threatening" manner.

Lindsay Lohan in a Courtroom

There are no photos of the evening, so it's unclear if perhaps a celebrity gossip reporter was actually on Lohan's tail during the incident. Even if this was the case, of course, it doesn't change the fact that a drunk, high Lohan got behind the wheel.

But, wait! The girl who now makes Pete Doherty look clean is claiming those drugs found on her were actually someone else's.

In an email to Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, Lohan said: "I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

Lindsay Lohan really is a role model of generosity, isn't she? Who among us would be so kind as to hold on to a friend's bag of cocaine? Brynn Cameron should really hire this actress as a baby sitter.

We can assure Lindsay, however, that privacy shall soon be all hers. We promise never to visit this lawbreaking skank in jail.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan is a careless, reckless, spoiled, drug-addicted princess with mediocre singing and acting talent.

Instead of reciting the obvious, however, we'll reveal the details our staff has pieced together regarding this trash bag's most recent arrest. Combing through various celebrity gossip sources has helped us discover the following:

Lindsay Lohan Mug Shot
  • At around 2:15 this morning, Lohan was was arrested in Santa Monica for possession of cocaine, driving under the influence, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license. Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13.
  • She was placed behind bars, like Jason Wahler, and freed later on $25,000 bail.
  • While in jail, a law enforcement official told TMZ that Lohan "did just about everything we asked." However, a different official said Lindsay was "a real bitch in the field" and was "uncooperative and showed obvious signs of intoxication."
  • According to police, Lohan's assistant quit just hours before Lohan was arrested; and when the assistant's mother came to pick her up, the red-headed moron gave chase. The assistant's mother called the police, warning them that Lindsay was hot on their tail, and that she was headed for the nearest police station.
  • Somewhere, Harry Morton thanked the heavens he has gotten away from this mess in time.
  • The actress is now back in an undisclosed treatment facility.

Of course, her lawyer wants us to believe that addiction has something to do with getting behind the wheel drunk and stoned. The following statement by Blair Berk makes it seem like we should feel sorry for Lohan:

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies.

Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

She ought to be receiving judicial care as quickly as possible. Let's lock her up with Mindy McCready and throw away the key.

by Mischalova at . Comments

We hope this puts an end to anyone who dared to defend Lindsay Lohan in the past.

Fresh out of rehab, and less than a year removed from an arrest for drunk driving, Lohan was arrested again early this morning for driving under the influence.

Crotch o' Fire!

Those that claimed Lindsay was a victim of poor parenting (and no doubt Dina Lohan is an awful mother), or blamed celebrity news reporters for putting her under a microscope, better eat their words now. There's never an excuse for driving drunk once. Let alone twice. Let alone twice in less than a year.

The actress is constantly putting people's lives in danger, and for once we're not making a joke about the STDs she's probably given countless men (but you should probably get tested, Criss Angel).

Lindsay Lohan has earned a ticket straight to jail for her latest DUI arrest. She's a terrible human being.

According to TMZ, this despicable, spoiled princess was arrested in Santa Monica around 2:15 a.m. The L.A. County Sheriff's Dept. reportedly caught her near Pico Boulevard and Main Street. Sources say narcotics were found in the car AND Lindsay was driving with a suspended license.

Just last week, Lohan was quietly booked by Beverly Hills PD for an alleged Memorial Day weekend DUI crash. She was due back in court on August 24 to face charges of driving with a blood alcohol level greater than .08 and misdemeanor hit and run.

We can only pray Lindsay receives the Paris Hilton treatment times 100. Send her to jail for a year.

by Mischalova at . Comments

We all know Lindsay Lohan can pole dance.

But the promiscuous, drug-addicted actress will get a chance to show off her tangoing chops in her next movie, Dare to Love Me. No, this isn't a biopic about all the men that have seemingly taken Lohan up on such a dare, from Harry Morton to AJ Lamas to Criss Angel.

Lindsay Lohan Naked

Instead, this upcoming film tells the story of tango legend Carlos Gardel, who was involved in a steamy romance with a prostitute, only to have his world shattered by a bullet that kills her and leaves him crippled with a fragment in his lung for life.

According to People magazine, the movie is set in Buenos Aires in the 1920s and centers on Gardel and the mysterious woman.

As rumors of Lindsay Lohan nude photos spread, here's your basic cleavage shot.

We assume Lindsay would play the prostitute, for reasons that need no explanation, but there's no word yet on which role the Firecrotch Queen will fill. But she began taking tango lessons Friday, celebrity news reporters say, and Tyler Atkins has already called her dancing ability "amazing."

Just kidding.

The 21-year-old star â€" who faces charges of driving under the influence and hit-and-run following a May car crash â€" had been scheduled to costar in the dark comedy Poor Things with Shirley MacLaine, but that movie has been shelved. The rumored reason was the negative, Tameka Foster-like press surrounding Lohan.
Dare to Love Me, which was an alternate title of the Noelia sex tape, will be shot in Romania and is scheduled to be released next yea.

by Mischalova at . Comments

Lindsay Lohan quietly surrendered to Beverly Hills police Thursday. And the reasons why are apparent:

The promiscuous actress heard about what goes down in prison showers and wants to get herself a piece!

Lindsay in Command

She was formally booked on misdemeanor charges of driving under the influence and hit-and-run stemming from a car crash last May. Suffering through a train wreck of a life for anyone born to Dina Lohan, however, doesn't carry any charges.

Lohan arrived at the station at 4:15 p.m. and was released on $30,000 bail about an hour later, according to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department Web site. She was accompanied by her attorney, who must feel proud to represent one of the top celebrity gossip stars on the planet.

Lohan was booked now because she was only cited â€" but not formally arrested â€" at the time of the incident due to her injuries, Beverly Hills Police Sgt. Kelly Spedden tells People magazine.

A court date was set for Aug. 24 in Superior Court in Beverly Hills. And we can only pray that Lindsay suffers the same fate as Paris Hilton in the slammer.

In the early morning hours of May 26, the actress crashed her 2005 Mercedes-Benz SL65 convertible. Earlier that evening she was spotted partying at Hollywood nightspot Les Deux, the possible future employer of Britney Spears.

Police found "a usable amount" of cocaine inside her car. Tara Conner was very proud.

by Mischalova at . Comments

We know it's difficult, but let's ignore rumors of Linday Lohan nude photos for now.

Instead, let's talk about the wild night this newly rehabbed actress enjoyed immediately after she was released from the Promises facility.

Gotti Family Photo

According to Vegas Confidential, Lohan arrived at Pure Nightclub at Caesars Palace at 12:40 a.m. and was seen drinking Red Bull in the VIP section before the curtains were drawn on her party.

But that doesn't mean our celebrity gossip spies didn't get a look at the Firecrotch Queen when they could.

Lohan periodically came out from behind the curtained-off stage to acknowledge the crowd on a microphone. So it's nice to see she didn't lose her ego in rehab. She also interacted with Lauren Conrad of The Hills and Brody Jenner.

But here is where it gets really fun:

Not only did famed illusionist Criss Angel join Lohan's group after 3 a.m. - but these two were spotted holding hands and leaving together 45 minutes later. In other words: the Mindfreak got his freak on with Lindsay Lohan.

And she best now be on the lookout now for JoAnn Sarantakos.

Angel proceeded to drop Lindsay and her group off around 5 a.m. and we're all simply left to wonder what actually took place during the night.

But let's just hope Cameron Diaz is fully over Criss at this point and is happy with David de Rothschild. Because we're sure it was something nasty.

Lindsay Lohan Biography

Lindsay Lohan Photo Lindsay Lohan is a troubled actress that hasn't starred in a mainstream movie in years. The star has been arrested for drug possession... More »
Born
Birthplace
New York City
Full Name
Lindsay Dee Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Quotes

Tell him he's f*cking amazing, and I want to meet him.

Lindsay Lohan [on Michael Phelps]

I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on and be with the person I care about and my family.

Lindsay Lohan
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