by Mischalova at

No, Lindsay's mom isn't saying her daughter should steal the husband of Jennifer Aniston.

Instead, Dina Lohan believes her skanky offspring should expand her film career into the action genre. Just like a certain Lara Croft portrayer.

Linds in Court

"I would love to see her in an action movie, like an Angelina Jolie movie," Dina tells Star's David Caplan. "I would like to see her in a kickboxing movie. She could do it."

She could also do every guy in a 10-mile radius of herself. She often does.

Meanwhile, Dina - who somehow graces the cover of Boulevard magazine - says Lindsay is still wearing a soft, removable cast on her wrist. Guys everywhere cannot wait until it's off.

On the emotional front, Lindsay is coping with her break-up from Harry Morton.

"They're friends still," Dina said. "They're really sweet. They're so young. And with all of these engagement stories that came out so quickly, it was just too much."

Sounds like a diss to Aaron Carter to us.

Dina said some media reports are "hurtful," and "the whole 'Firecrotch' thing was awful. That hurts."

Not as much as the pain guys experiencing such heat have dealt with. It's a burning sensation.

Mrs. Lohan also spread word that there's another daughter, Ali. Who knew?!? She's gearing up for the Oct. 10 release of her debut solo album, Lohan Holiday.

Lord help us.


by Mischalova at has an exciting exclusive: it spoke to a doorman at one of the most exclusive clubs in Hollywood, getting him to spill the celebrity beans on who is allowed in to these hot spots and which stars will try anything to get through the doors.

Take a quick guess as to which category Brooke Hogan would fall into. Anyway, on to the scoop ...

Lindsay Lohan: What a Boob

"You need to be on the permanent guest list," the source stated.

Nightclubs in Hollywood have guest lists that feature people who will always be treated like royalty. This doorman said such a list consists of about 300 individuals, included among them are obvious choices such as Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson, and Christina Aguliera.

The next tier works like this: you can call and make a reservation if you have endless amount of cash (Brandon Davis, Stavros Niarchos) but even with a reservation, nothing is guaranteed.

Moreover, those in the news for positive reasons , or "hot," are likely to find a spot inside. In other words, Bobby Brown, there's a table at Starbucks with your name on it.
The TMZ spy also said there are always exceptions to the rules.

"Mike Tyson was let in once because we felt that if we said no he might start boxing with the staff!"

Being female usually works in your favor, but even Tara Reid will be turned away if she shows up with five guys (and two new boobs). Take notes from Keenan Ivory Wayans because "he wasn't on the list but he was with a date and looked embarrassed, so I let him in."

Finally, in a shocker, shouting about who you are won't exactly get you insisde. Once, Joaquin Phoenix tried to enter through the back door and was told to go to the front. Mr. Phoenix replied with, "You're making a a big mistake! Don't you know who I am?? I'm kind of a big deal."

Therefore, it also appears that reciting Anchorman quotes won't work. Good luck to all!

Except for you, Anna Nicole Smith, don't even try it.

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by Free Britney at

It's October, and you know what that means -- lots and lots of Hollywood news, rumors and breasts here at the Gossip. Oh wait, that's every month.

What makes the 10th month of the year special is Halloween. Given that you always need a lot of ideas before narrowing them down, we've put together some great costumes for you to potentially use. See below, but beware: What you are about to see may scare the ever-loving $h!t out of you.

Lohan, Blonde Hair

Click to enlarge (note that you can only enlarge these stick figures by so much)!

Scary! Going as any of the freakish ghouls you see above (from left-to-right, Keira Knightley, Kate Bosworth, crystal meth fiend Nicole Richie, whoremonger Lindsay Lohan, and former OC slut Mischa Barton) is guaranteed to scare the crap out of everyone at your Halloween party. The only downside? No Halloween candy. And if you go as Lohan, you have to stay in character and get busy with at least four guys in the bathroom.

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by Mischalova at

... from that red-headed skank.

Okay, we may have added that part, but you know Harry Morton was thinking it, right? The expert on pink tacos recently talked with Extra about his break up with Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan, Ghost

"We're just sort of taking a little breather right now and slowing things down," the restaurateur said. "A lot of people started saying we're engaged. It put a lot of pressure on things. … We need a little space."

And Lohan needs a little sexin'. Anyone know where Bam Margera is?

Morton also said he'd had a hard time dealing with being in such a high-profile relationship.

"The media getting involved always makes it more difficult," he said. "I'm a very private person. I'm sure she has dealt with it for years, (but it) puts a lot of pressure on me."

In a moment of complete dishonesty honesty Harry said of Lohan: "I have nothing but the utmost respect for her."

As People magazine reported last week, Linsday was seen sobbing and talking on her cell phone after a Sept. 21 chat with Morton at West Hollywood's Chateau Marmont. Sources close to the pair said that Morton had dumped her, in spite of Lohan's efforts to cut down on partying.

Two nights later the pair was seen talking briefly at L.A.'s Hyde Lounge, though Morton left alone.

The next day, eyewitnesses saw Lohan and Stavros Niarchos (her former flame and ex-boyfriend of her rival, Paris Hilton) at the Dragonfly club, with, says one observer, "fingers interlocked … sharing kisses on the lips."

But other sources say she was just trying to make Morton jealous. The only question remaining in this fracas is: why the heck do we still care? Isn't there a Dustin Diamond sex tape we can watch?

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by Mischalova at

Apparently the father of Lindsay Lohan reads The Hollywood Gossip in jail.

Lindsay Lohan Coachella Photo

What else would inspire Michael to pen his deranged daughter a letter? Submitted to London's The Sun, Mr. Lohan must've figured that the recent dumping by Harry Morton - as well as the befriending of Paris Hilton, which could actually be worse than anyting - made this an ideal time to get in touch with his off spring.

Via an absurd, hilarious, rambling letter, of course. Here it is:

"It pains me to have to write to you like this, but it's evident that my letters never reach you. My messages never get to you and ‘people' continue to build walls between us.

"I can't even begin to tell you how very sorry I am for causing you (and our family) the heartache and embarrassment I have. (THG NOTE: The White Oprah may have something to do with said embarrassment).

"I hold you absolutely blameless for all that's been said and portrayed, as I know it has been under the advice of others, to sway both the courts and public opinion.

"I also know the pain that comes with love, especially when two hearts and lives are divided. Sometimes we run - we seek to hide or just escape from the pain.

In the meantime, people are either whispering in our ear, giving self-serving advice, or out to protect their own interests.

"Unfortunately sweetheart, while you are so talented and blessed you have become their interest! As I told you all along, this would happen.

"You are an amazingly blessed, talented, intelligent and loving person. Use it to do good! To set an example by putting God and his principles first. Your love for life and people is a gift. (THG NOTE: God ... or Madonna?)

"I trust you, I believe in you and I will love and protect you until my dying breath, and if that's what it takes so be it!

Please know how much I miss all of you. Stay strong my Angel! God bless you and stay strong!"

Wow. Crazy Joe Simpson would be proud, Mike. Write to us soon.


by Mischalova at

It really is over: Harry Morton ended things with Lindsay Lohan late last week.

As the columnists and photographers from The Gossip deal with such a tragedy, we wanted to revist the summer of Harry and Lindsay. These celebrity photos truly do tell a thousand spoiled words ...


The annoying duo hung out at the Venice Film Festival. Shockingly, Lohan didn't win any awards there.

There had actually been rumors that Morton popped the big question. No, not whether or not Lindsay had eaten in six months; but if she'd actually marry him.

Ah, the good ol' days. We're not sure what turned to tide for Harry, but perhaps it was a Lindsay Lohan picture such as this. That girl is a mess. And her mom is nuts.

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by Mischalova at

Don't cry for Lindsay Lohan, readers.

Yes, she just got dumped, humiliated and tossed aside like some sort of underweight, spoiled actress by Harry Morton. But it looks as though she's made a new friend:

Fashion Phreak

Paris Hilton.

As we reported earlier in the week, these former enemies were seen conversing in some manner at a party Hilton threw for those using her for her money and connections friends.

Here is an actual exchange between the two drama queens:

Lindsay: Look Paris, I just want all this drama to stop.

Paris: Don't believe anything they say Lins!!!! They'll say anything it's not true. F--k Brandon [Davis] and f---ing firecrotch s--t. We love you so much. You look so hot by the way.

Lindsay: (laughs)

And ... scene! We don't know if these loose ladies were just pretending for the cameras or on-lookers around them, but it's a rivalry/friendship we'll follow closely. Maybe Sean Penn and Canada can make up next.

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by Mischalova at

All of a sudden, that fight with Paris Hilton doesn't seem so important anymore.

Breaking news into The Gossip headquarters tells us that Lindsay Lohan is, once again, single. Harry Morton dumped her and her crotch of fire last night.

A Free, Troubled Woman

"Harry broke up with Lindsay yesterday at Chateau Marmont after they had dinner on the courtyard patio," a source said. "Nothing happened at dinner, but shortly afterward, he broke up with her."

But why, Harry? Was it the broken wrist? How lost Lohan became once her dominant, man-pleasing hand was made more useless than a plate of food in front of Kate Bosworth?

"She was too much drama," said the source. "Lindsay did cut down on the partying, but with her it's all relative. Harry is sober. It wasn't the partying that broke them up. She's young and a little bit immature. Harry's more low-key and not into the same stuff she's into."

THG NOTE: The constant sex with other men didn't help. Neither did Lohan's lack of a soul.

However, in a blatant lie record-breaking spinning of the truth, a Lindsay friend chimed in:

"No one 'dumped' anyone. You don't dump people when you're 20 and 25. You have a mature relationship and you take a break and you see what happens. Everyone does that."

Tell that to Shar Jackson! K-Fed kicked his baby's momma to the curb!

A rep for Morton, meanwhile, said, "I do not comment on his personal life."

Indeed, Lohan was spotted at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont on Thursday, running onto the patio where four of her friends were sitting â€" and weeping, a wad of tissues on one hand, her cell phone in the other.

"She ran in, sat with her group, put down her cell phone and cried to her pals," People magazine reported. "The group looked very concerned and listened intently to what she was saying."

At least her cell phone was spared, however. But what, dear readers, will happen to the famous firecrotch? Who will fan those flames now? We vote for Jason Wahler. He's single now.

But he wasn't involved in any sort of dumping, of course. People his age don't do that.

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by Mischalova at

It's not very clear at this point. But here's what we do know about two of The Gossip's favorites:

Following a party thrown by Us Weekly last night, Paris Hilton truly threw it down. She cleaned out the rolodex with invites, as those in attendance included: Pamela Anderson, Courtney Love, Jeremy Piven and Dave Navarro.

LiLo Rollin'

But the arrival of the night belonged to Lindsay Lohan.

Perez Hilton is reporting the two got into quite a yelling match in front of guests. Many overheard Paris telling Lindsay that she had never hit on Lindsay's boyfriend, Harry Morton. Reports also state that Kevin Connelly, the Entourage star diddling Nicky Hilton, slugged Brandon Davis in the face - twice!

TMZ contacted Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, about the report. His response?

"I was at the party, I remember Lindsay arriving and them having a lovely conversation by the pool. They seemed to have gotten along just fine and only polite words were exchanged."

Uh-oh. If Paris and Lindsay make up, what will be our go-to celebrity feud? Brangelina vs. Abject Poverty? Mel Gibson vs. Non-Catholics? Sean Preston vs. The Fashion Police?

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by Mischalova at

We all know there's bad blood between Lindsay Lohan and her father. But now it appears as though the red-headed harlot and her fairly insane mom are also not getting along.

When Lindsay arrived at a Chinese restaurant on Manhattan's Upper East Side last week for a birthday celebration for Dina, she was dismayed to find that Mrs. Lohan and her friends were already into their second bottle of Cristal. The nerve! Right after the first course arrived, Lindsay and her mom started going at it.

Lindsay Lohan Doing Modeling

Others in the restaurant at the time included Ryan Cabrera, Brandy and Serena Williams. They sat in stunned silence as the Lohans hurled curse words at one another. This was a change from the typical hurling Lindsay does in the bathroom after every meal.

Finally, Lindsay stormed out, telling her mom to "go to hell." Dina cried uncontrollaly, typed on her BlackBerry for 45 minutes and then started throwing fortune cookies at the waiters - and burst into tears again when her birthday cake came out.

Seriously. The reaction made Sutton Pierce Federline seem mature.

But, wait, there was more good news for Lindsay haters later in the week ...

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